STRESS and ANXIETY

Stress is a mismatch between the demands in our lives and the resources we have to deal with those demands.

This mismatch is often caused by changes, either large or small

Stress is not an event, but your reaction to the event

What is Stress?

Pain, injury, and illnessDivorce or Financial Crisis of the familyDeath or loss of a loved one.

Major Causes of Stress for children

• Tests• Homework• School• Grades • Busy schedules• Fights with friends• Bullies• Family problems• Wanting to be like by

others• Worries about world

events• Team tryouts

Additional Stressors

Stress Test

Children respond by what they experienced in the past

• insignificant to adults, but small changes can impact a child's feelings of safety and security.

Children's Responses to Stress

• It’s physical-fight or flight response, adrenaline.

• Our bodies are all geared up with nowhere to go…if we do nothing we remain in a state of unproductive tension

Examples- • Instant Replays

• Lack of Sleep• Illness

What is Stress Made of?

IT’s Mental-Stress is not all in your head, but that’s where

you start-Events don’t cause stress, it’s how you

interpret and react to them

Continued

Stress CAN be GOOD!- Most people work best under pressure- It can be a powerful source of growth- We often learn the most when we are forced

to

Continued

Stress is Harmful- Stress hurts when it becomes a way of life

Heart disease, ulcers, cancer, anger, and drugs.

Continued

The Annoyance ListOverload AssessmentPersonality TypeHow much stress can you take by Dr. Thomas

H. HolmesKids Love THEM!

Brief Stress Tests

I have to be the best at everything Everyone must like me I Cannot make a mistake If someone disagrees with me, they don’t like

me I can’t make a decision, because if it’s wrong,

I’ll regret it foreverThe embarrassment will NEVER endLife isn’t fair It’s just bad luck

Their beliefs

Cry more than usual, frequent, urination, grinding teeth, nightmares, BAD LUCK

Can’t sleep/sleep moreEat MoreIrritability/overly sensitiveCaffeine/lack of food/change in dietManifestation of pain, migraines, obsessionsDifficulty focusing/constant motionDon’t feel like doing anything/lack of emotion

SYMPTOMS

Of all the things we’ve worried about, how many came true….Multiply by 10 for a kid.

Has this happened before, what did I learn, worst possible , scenario, 5 years from now, magic carpet

Pain bodyResponsibility

Ahhhhhceptance

How do we cope? FlexibilityReceiving constructive criticism openlyDismissing negative attacksTaking control of your actions..accepting

when YOU messed upTalking about it….I am really mad right now

and it’s not your fault but…BAD= Denial

COPING

Problems, Challenges, PossibilitiesIrrational statement-make it rationalMake Connections-OPRAH- people who feel

lucky have friends, relatives, work colleagues..etc., Help your kids make those connections

ALWAYS remember kids model what YOU doChores can calm you downAnimals can be therapeutic tooWorry Jar

Make a list

Get up earlyJournalDraw it, paint itDon’t put it offBe prepared to WaitKnow you won’t get along with everyoneHelp SomeoneLaughListen to Music, take a bathForgive and forget the past…we all mess upBreathe

Proven Stress Reducers

Vision BoardEXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXCERCISEPositive Self-TalkPeople and the Drama TriangleOne item a weekMotivation- Famous peopleLet them make decisions-codependency and it’s

effectsThe POTPractice Saying, “NO.”Rewrite your script- 3 columns (would happen,

reaction, self-talk)Know your Patterns/Triggers- poster (foods)

THE SECRET

•Seeks help •Sense of belonging at school•Low levels of family stress

•Secure relationships•Avoids negative peer pressure

Resilience

• Consistent, dependable, schedule• Monitor TV and news• Calm Time- example- (compliments)• Encourage your child to ask questions.• Encourage expression of concerns, worries, or fears.• Listen to your child without being critical.• Affection and include them situations where he or she

can succeed.• Keep your child informed of necessary and anticipated

changes such as changes in jobs or moving-Truth• Seek professional help or advice when signs of stress

do not decrease or disappear.

Ways You Can Help

Mrs. Gail Hague-Duquesne UniversityStress can Really Get on Your Nerves! By

Trevor Romain & Elizabeth VerdickMore Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out- The Anger

and Stress Management Book By Jerry Wilde, PHD

Jayne M. Treinen-Yager and Geoffrey Yager, PHDs- University of Cincinnati

Resources