7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

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transcript

Slide presentation by Ken du Pisanie Written by Stephen R. Covey

You’re Going to be “Off Track” 90% of the Time. So What?

Good families – even great families – are off track 90% of the time. The key is that they have a sense of destination. They know what the

“track” looks like. And they keep coming back to it time and time again.

The key is in having a destination, a flight plan, and a

compass.

Invest the next few minutes in this presentation, and you will be given the most valuable tools ever to find your

destination for your family.

Have the end in mind:

A Beautiful Family Culture

HABIT 1

BE PROACTIVE

We do not have to love.

We choose to love.

We do not have to love.

We choose to love.

To do carefully and constantly and kindly many little things is not a little thing.

The way you treat any relationship in the family

will eventually affect every relationship in the

family.

HABIT 2

BEGIN WITH THE

END IN MIND

Create a clear,

compelling vision of what you and your

family are all about.

A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about and the principles you choose to govern your family life.

For the most part, families don’t have the kind of mission statement so critical to organizational success. Yet the family is the most important, fundamental organization in the world.

Through a family mission statement you can let your children know that you are totally committed to them, and that you have been from the very moment of their birth or adoption.

HABIT 3

PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

Making Family a Priority in a

Turbulent World

“Okay, now, I know what you’re going to hear from people is “We don’t have the time. But if you don’t have the time for one night or at least one hour during the week where everybody can

come together as a family, then the family is not the priority.”

~ Oprah Winfrey ~

Things which matter the most must never be at the mercy of things

which matter least.

The place to start is not with the assumption that work is non-negotiable; it’s with the assumption that family is non-negotiable. That one shift of mind-set opens the door to all kinds of creative possibilities.

The role of parents is a

unique one, a sacred

stewardship in life. Is there really

anything that would outweigh

the importance of fulfilling that

stewardship well?

HABIT 4

THINK “WIN~WIN”

Moving from

“Me” to

“We”

The question is this: “Would you

be willing to search for a

solution that is better than what

either of us is now proposing?”

The commitment is this: “Let me listen to you

first” or “Help me understand.”

The principle is this: What is important to

another person must be as

important to you as the other

person is to you.

Parenting is not about being popular and giving in to every child’s whim and desire. It’s about

making decisions that truly are win-win – however they may appear to the child

at the time.

HABIT 5

SEEK FIRST TO

UNDERSTAND…THEN

TO BE UNDERSTOOD

Solving family problems through emphatic

communication

There’s no way to have rich, rewarding family relationships without real

understanding

Most mistakes with family members are not the result of bad intent. It’s just that

we really don’t understand. We don’t see clearly into one another’s hearts.

When you understand…

You don’t judge.

Each person needs to be loved in his or her own special way. They

key to making deposits,

therefore, is to understand – and

to speak – that person’s language

of love

The technique of emphatic listening is just the tip of the iceberg. The great mass of the iceberg is a deep and sincere desire to truly understand.

HABIT 6

SYNERGIZE

Building family unity through celebrating differences

You must be able to say sincerely, “The fact that we see things differently is a

strength – not a weakness – in our relationship.

Once you realize that each

problem is asking for a

response instead of just

triggering a reaction, you start to learn. You become a

learning family.

HABIT 7

SHARPEN THE SAW

Renewing the family

spirit through

traditions

Every family must take time to renew itself in the four key areas of life: physical,

social, mental, and spiritual.

If you organize your family life to spend ten or fifteen minutes a morning reading something that

connects you to timeless principles, you will make better choices during the day – in the family, on the job, in every dimension of life.

Sharpening the saw is the highest leverage activity in life because it affects everything else so powerfully

From Survival…To stability…To Success…To Significance

I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: The only ones among you who will really be happy are those

who have sought and found how to serve. ~ Albert Schweitzer ~

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS & CREDITS

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

by

Stephen R. Covey

1998

Simon & Schuster UK Ltd. (London)

Slide presentation by Ken du Pisanie