Accepting Personal Responsibility

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What is the primary goal of this class?To learn strategies for success in college…and beyond!Review the eight choices of successful students

Personal Responsibility

Self-Motivation

Self-Management

Interdependence

Self-Awareness

Lifelong Learning

Emotional Intelligence

Belief in Self

PR

SM

SM

I

SA

LL

EI

BS

What are the four components of the CORELearning System? Collect—collect information/skills Organize—organize information so that it

makes sense to you Rehearse—practice to strengthen neural

networks and improve skills Evaluate—assess the quality of your

learning

Which person in the case study do you think is most responsible for Kim's failing grade in Psychology 101? Why?What choice(s) did Kim make that sabotaged her success in Psychology 101? What other choice(s) could she have made?Dive Deeper: Is there someone not mentioned in the story who may also bear responsibility for Kim's failing grade?

FOCUS QUESTIONS

What is self-responsibility? Why is it the key to gaining maximum control over the outcomes and experiences of your life?

What choice did Brian make that completely changed his outcomes and experiences in his English course?

What similar choice could you make in a class you are now taking?

FOCUS QUESTION

How can you create greater success by changing your vocabulary?

Victim’s Language◦ Blame self or others◦ Complain◦ Make excuses

Victim’s Results◦ Waste time and energy◦ Seldom achieve desired outcomes &

experiences

Victim Statements◦If I weren’t so stupid, I wouldn’t have to

take this dumb class again. (Blame self)◦I would make the team if the coach was

fair. (Blame others)◦My teacher won’t accept my paper late. I

never get a break from anybody. (Complain)

◦I didn’t have enough time to do the assignment. (Excuse)

All of these statements are about blaming, complaining and

making excuses.

None is about taking ownership or action!

– If I weren’t so stupid, I wouldn’t have to take this dumb class again.

– I know I didn’t spend nearly enough time studying last semester. I’m going to study this subject from 3:30 to 4:30 every day. I’ll also go to the tutoring center for two hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

– I would make the team if the coach was fair.

– I’m going to increase my strength, speed and skills so I can earn a position on the team.

Choose words that support your success: Change Victim language into Creator language. By taking ownership and action, Creators escape the negative trap of Victim thinking and move closer to creating their desired outcomes and experiences. They get On Course!

I got cheated on this grade!

I'm going to meet with my teacher to find out exactly what I need to change.

I know I’ll do lousy this term because my schedule is so messed up.

People on my study team are lazy and worthless. I’m quitting.

I didn’t understand the tutor I saw today. I’ll go back tomorrow and see if I can find a different tutor who explains things in a way that makes more sense to me.

APPLYING THE CONCEPT:IDENTIFYING VICTIM & CREATOR

STATEMENTS

In what ways are you similar to Alexsandr when he began college? In what ways are you different?What choices did Alexsandr make that changed his outcomes and experiences? Does Alexsandr’s story suggest different choices you could make to achieve greater success in college?

FOCUS QUESTIONS

How can you improve the quality of the decisions you make? How can you take full responsibility for the outcomes and experiences in your life?

1. What’s my present situation?(Identify the problem or difficulty.)

2. How would I like my situation to be?(Define my desired outcomes and experiences.)

3. What are my possible choices?(Without evaluating, make a list of options.)

4. What’s the likely outcome of each possible choice?(Missing information? Stop and get more!)

5. Which choice(s) will I commit to doing?(Make a promise to myself.)

6. When and how will I evaluate my plan?(Assess my results.)

1. What’s my present situation?

I don’t have the $900 it will cost to get my car fixed, so I have to take the bus or ask people for rides wherever I go.

2. How would I like my situation to be?

I own a safe, reliable car so I can conveniently go where I want when I want.

1. Work extra hours at my job.

2. Make out a tighter budget; stop eating at restaurants.

3. Ask Chuck to give me a ride to campus.

4. Ask for a raise.

3. What are my Possible choices?

1. Earn more money but have less time to study.

2. Save money and have more time to study.

3. Save bus money and maybe develop a new friendship.

4. Might get more money for same amount of time, especially if I do jobs that others don't like to do.

4. What’s the likely outcome of each choice?

5. Which choice(s) will I commit to doing?By February 1st, I will develop a budget that willcut $125.00 off my monthly bills (including noteating at restaurants), I will ask my supervisorfor a raise, and I will ask Chuck for a ride tocampus until I get my car fixed. I will put allextra money into a savings account.

6. When and how will I evaluate my plan?By July 15th, I'll have at least $900 in my savings account and get my car fixed.

If you have ever worked at a full- or part-time job, please stand up.People standing, divide into five groups of approximately even numbers. People sitting, stand and join the five groups, keeping the numbers in each group approximately even. People who have worked, share any observations you have about Victim Language in the workplace.

FOCUS QUESTION

How can you raise your self-esteem bychanging your self-talk?

“You mainly make yourself needlessly and neurotically miserable by strongly holding absolutist irrational Beliefs, especially by rigidly believing unconditional shoulds, oughts, and musts.” -Albert Ellis, psychologist

What do you think Ellis mean by “absolutist irrational Beliefs”? Examples?

I’m dumb.I’m a failure.I’m worthless.I can’t learn math.I’m a lousy parent.No one will like me.I can’t remember stuff.If I ask a question, I’ll look like a jerk.

People are always mean to me.People don’t treat me right; they’re rotten.People don’t agree with my ideas because they’re too stupid to understand them.Life isn’t fair; I never get an even break.Teachers always have their favorites and those students get all the breaks.No one knows what they’re doing.Life stinks.

Activating Event +

Beliefs=

Consequences

BeliefStudent #1

My instructor thinks I’m dumb. I’ll never get a college degree. I’m a failure in life.

BeliefStudent #2

My instructor won’t help me. Teachers don’t care about students.

BeliefStudent #3

I’m not sure what went wrong. Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way you plan. There’s always tomorrow.

Student # 1

Got depressed, and watched television all evening.

Student # 2

Got angry and spent the night telling friends how horrible the instructor is.

Student # 3

Studied for another class. Planned to call the instructor the next day to see what happened and set up a new appointment.

Which student’s consequences moved him closer to positive outcomes and experiences?

Activating EventInstructor didn’t show up for a

scheduled conference.

BeliefI’m not sure what went wrong.

Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way you plan. There’s always tomorrow.

ConsequenceStudied for another class. Planned to call the instructor the next day to see what happened and set up a new appointment.

A + B = CActivating Event + Beliefs =

Consequences

Offer evidence that your judgments are incorrect

Offer a positive explanation of the

problem.

Question the importance of the problem.If judgments are true, offer a plan to improve the situation.

Write a sentence expressing a recent problem or event that upset you.

EXAMPLE: I got into a big argument with my roommate, Amber, over keeping our apartment cleaned up. It escalated into a yelling and name-calling match and I finally just stormed out of the room.

Write a list of three or more criticisms your Inner Critic (IC) might level against you as a result of this situation. Have your Inner Guide (IG) dispute each one immediately.

I’m such a stupidhothead; I’m always flying off the handle and making a messof things.

I'm not stupid at all, and I maintain really good control of myself. People at work tell me they can't believe how patient I am with customers.

EXAMPLE

Note that you only need to use onemethod of disputing (not all four).

In this case, the Inner Guide disputes the self-criticism by showing specific evidence that the judgment is irrational and wrong: "Other people at work say..."

Write a list of three or more criticisms your Inner Defender (ID) might level against someone else as a result of this situation. Have your Inner Guide (IG) dispute each one immediately.

If Amber weren't so lazy, I wouldn't have to nag her all the time about cleaning the place up. This problem is all her fault.

Amber really isn't lazy; she works two part-time jobs and she's taking 18 hours this semester. I'm going to apologize and suggest we make out a cleaning plan that fits her work hours.

EXAMPLE

Notice that the Inner Guide moves from judgment to empathy and finally to a plan that will solve the problem (not just create hard feelings).

What thoughts did Dominic change? What old classroom behaviors did Dominic also change?What choices could you make about your thoughts or classroom behaviors that would help you achieve your desired outcomes and experiences?

From the list of six options, choose the one you think would be most helpful to you.Organize into groups of people who all chose the same option.Explain the reason for your choice, any challenges you expect, and how you will overcome them.

Reading an assignment in college requires a greater degree of involvement and effort than reading a magazine or newspaper; you need to become an active reader.

What do you think are some of the choices of an active reader?

What are the four components of the CORE Learning System?

Collecting Organizing Rehearsing Evaluating

What do you Collect through Reading?

Key Concepts

Important Ideas

Supporting Details

What is the key concept of Chapter Two?Accepting Personal Responsibility

What are the important ideas?Adopting the Creator RoleMastering Creator LanguageMaking Wise Decisions

What are the supporting details for “Mastering Creator Language?"

Self-TalkInner CriticInner DefenderInner Guide

The Language of ResponsibilityOwnership & a Plan

Review the strategies presented for Before Reading, While Reading, and After Reading.Next to each strategy, write how often you use it: "Always," "Usually," "Seldom" or "Never."From the strategies that you marked "Seldom" or "Never,“ choose one that might help you become a more active reader. Be prepared to explain your choice.

Adopting the

Creator Role

MakingWise

Decisions

MasteringCreator

Language

What do you like most about the notion of accepting self-responsibility? Explain briefly.

End

Chapter

Two