Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New...

transcript

DEFENSIVE PARENTING: Keeping Your Family Safe - Defending

Against Allegations

Center for Development of Human ServicesInstitute for Community Health PromotionSUNY Buffalo State

Center for Development of Human Services

Institute for Community Health Promotion

SUNY Buffalo State

_______________________________________

Acknowledgement

This material was developed by the Center for Development of Human Services (CDHS), Institute for Community Health Promotion, SUNY Buffalo State under a training and administrative services agreement with the New York State Office of Children and Family Services.

Disclaimer

While every effort has been made to provide accurate and complete information, the Office of Children and Family Services and the State of New York assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions in the information provided herein and make no representations or warranties about the suitability of the information contained here for any purpose. All information and documents are provided “as is,” without a warranty of any kind.For information about this and other training programs, please visit:

http://cdhs.buffalostate.edu

Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991

Identify allegation issues Recognize how foster parents can be exposed to

allegations Identify tools & skills that build a safe environment Assess individual needs for specific skill-building in

defensive parenting

Risks of Fostering

Children with special needs/difficult behaviors

Families w/ substance abuse/domestic violence

High stress levels Lack of needed supports Isolation from team Lack of information Fear and frustration

Risks of Fostering (con’t)

Allegations of abuse or neglect

New placements Disagreements with team

members Partnerships with birth

families Transportation Waiting at appointments Telephone messages and

no reply

Withdrawn, confusing, hostile or disturbing behavior of others

Teamwork Missed visits Overnight visits Unsupervised visits Supervised visits Agency staff turnover Multiple placements and

workers

Risks of Fostering (con’t)

Supervising visits Building attachments Emergency placements PINS/JD Behaviors Discussing sensitive topics Working with child sexual

abuse Maintaining confidentiality Medical interventions New regulations

Marital discord Concurrent planning Refusing a placement Separation and loss Time management Unexpected expenses Inconsistent policies &

practices Lack of respite

The Child Protective Investigation

Complaint made to the SCR

24 hours to start an investigation

Determination within 60 days

– Unfounded– Indicated and closed – Indicated and opened-3%

of children in care

Removal- done by CPS when there is imminent danger

Anonymity of reporters Mandated Reporters Notification of Parents May interview the child in

school

Incidence of False Allegations Against Foster Parents

Many more than indicated, e.g.,68% of 2,000,000 in 2000; I in 8 chance in 19971 in 4 chance in 2002

1 in ? chance in 2014

False Allegations

Naive allegation – young child confuses past and present or has difficulty separating reality from fantasy

Manipulative allegation – older child, youth or family want to change the living arrangement or punish the foster parents

Originate in an underlying need for control

Reasons Abuse Might Occur in Foster Homes:

Children who’ve been abused or neglected display provocative behavior Foster parents get overwhelmed Pedophiles seek out access to children Older youth can be sexually attractive to adults

Rules of Defensive Parenting

Get it in writing– Copies of agency policy,

placement agreement, school records, evaluations

Attend Service Plan Reviews

Use a log or calendar

A Guide to Gathering Information

Administrative Family Background Medical Information Education Personal Data Special Needs

Gather Administrative Information:

Reason for placement Permanency plan: required services and foster

parent’s role in executing the plan Names, titles, contact #’s, email addresses of

those involved with case Visitation plan and schedule

Gather Information on Family Background: Name child likes to be called

Names of siblings, parents, others Favorite family activities Usual home responsibilities Experience with pets Community of faith

Gather Information on Educational History:

Child’s performance Child’s feelings about school Favorite subject(s) Least favorite subject(s) Favorite teacher(s) Extracurricular activities

Gather Personal Data:

Food – likes and dislikes Sleep – bedtime, naps, rituals, concerns Fears Important dates and places Favorite toys Special friends and how to contact them Personal appearance – concerns with

dressing, favorite colors, style preferences

Gather Information on Special Needs:

Anything with which the child may need help…

(learned as a result of gathering all the preceding information)

Advocacy

“A process whereby you start something, change something, or stop something.”

Jacob Sprouse

Small Group Directions

Disciplinarian, Stress Manager, Advocate or Emergency Responder:

1. Select recorder/reporter

2. Answer questions on worksheet

3. Be prepared to report back in 15 minutes.

The Advocate

1. What must you know to be successful?

2. When is it difficult to be an advocate?

3. How can you be an advocate to keep the child safe at home, on visits, at school and in the community?

Tips for the Case Advocate

Put it in writing and keep a copy Address one concern at a time Know the “players” Keep the team informed Know the risks

The Disciplinarian

How is disciplining more “defensive” than punishing?

How does the child’s history of abuse/neglect affect your discipline?

What should you know about the child? What should you know about yourself?

Drawbacks of Physical Punishment

1. What does physical punishment teach?

2. What messages are given to the child?

3. How do these messages affect the child in care?

Discipline teaches…

while punishment:

makes the child payhurts the child’s self-esteemholds the adult responsible

NYSOCFS Policy on Discipline of Children in Foster Care - Sec. 441.9, amended April 26, 1973 prohibits:

Depriving meals Depriving snacks Depriving mail Depriving family visits Room isolation Solitary confinement Corporal Punishment

Prescribing, administering, supervising discipline by anyone other than an adult

Any abuse or maltreatment of a child, either as an incident of discipline or otherwise

Parental Attitudes of the Disciplinarian

Genuine care and concern for the child

Teaching without blame or insult

Parental self-assurance Honesty

Behavior focused Openness Separateness Patience Firm and friendly

Emergency Responder

Examples that foster parents face How do these affect your life? What happens to children experiencing one? How can you best respond? What do you need to remember in an

emergency?

Emergencies

Usually are accompanied by strong emotional reaction

Can be triggered by many different things Can be managed Children in care have more than their “fair

share”

3 STAGES OF AN EMERGENCY

1. Pre-Emergency; i.e., stressors “set the stage” for crisis (predisposing factors)

2. Precipitating Event; i.e., “the straw that broke the camel’s back;” “at the end of his rope, etc.”

3. Period of Resolution; i.e., working through crisis

Behavior Phases of Children in Crisis:

1. Anxiety

2. Disorganized behavior

3. Physical acting out

4. Tension reduction

Emergencies: Principles of Intervention

Stay calm Recognize alternatives Maintain a helpful attitude Release emotional energy Guidance Accept the solutions

Helping the Child in Crisis

Assess the emergency Give help and assistance Use effective listening skills; i.e., body language,

clarify, paraphrase, use minimal reinforcers and open or closed questions, modify environment

Express interest Show affection (use touch)

Reimbursements for Damages

NYS Regulation (18NYCRR Part 427) provides reimbursement as a special payment to foster parents for expenses not covered by homeowner insurance. In this state supervised, locally administered child welfare system, the LDSS decides whether or not and what amount to pay, within state specified limits (@$1,000/child over 2 yr. period).

Documentation and Precise Descriptions

Child abuse (statutory vs. agency policy definition) Acceptable and unacceptable discipline Procedures for reporting & investigating allegations

against foster/adoptive families The child’s rights Problem, crisis & emergency, and reporting procedures Documentation requirements (formal vs. informal) Your family’s insurance coverage & liabilities

Stress Manager

What irritates you about being a foster parent? What delights you about being a foster parent? How can you lessen the irritants? How can you strengthen the delights? What’s most helpful in managing your stress? What do you need to be a better stress

manager?

Recognizing STRESS

General irritability Rapid breathing, shortness

of breath, excessive yawning

Pounding heart Dry mouth, excessive

throat clearing Impulsive behavior Rapid changes in emotional

state Inability to concentrate

Feelings of unreality, weakness, dizziness

Accident prone Fatigue, changes in sleep

patterns, insomnia Floating anxiety (tense and

fearful) Trembling, twitching, tics,

excessive blinking Easily startled by small

sounds Nervous laughter

More STRESS Symptoms

Speech changes: stuttering, unusual voice volume, laryngitis

Fidgeting, inability to sit still

Urinary and digestive tract problems

Muscle tightness, Change in appetite, binge

eating, cravings Skin rashes

Increased smoking, drinking, meds

Numb extremities Sarcastic, exaggerated,

combative or hostile language

Misperceptions and loss of perspective

Frequent illness, colds A pattern of lateness Regressive behavior

Life with Less Stress

Be in the present Schedule leisure activities Develop a personal growth

plan Develop timetables Recognize feelings Express feelings in healthy

ways Keep realistic expectations Reduce intake of substances Say NO more often Encourage positive feedback

Prioritize: First things first. Be honest Agree to disagree Indulge in your delights Exercise Be task-oriented Build success into every day Build variety into your life Invite stress-reducing

opportunities Develop supports

Reducing Your Liabilities

Recognize stress Establish clear role definitions and guidelines Review placement agreements Secure case-specific information Seek adequate financial support

Fostering as Political Parenting

Considerations: Type or length of placement Placing-agency style Confidentiality “The Whole Child”

Adapted from Foster Family Survival: Defensive Parenting by Jacob R. Sprouse, Jr., 1991 © 2014 New...

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