Post on 11-Jul-2015
transcript
Anger Management
WizIQ College
Module One: Getting Started
Welcome to the Anger Management
Workshop.
This workshop will help teach
participants how to identify their
anger triggers and what to do when
their angry.
Holding on to
anger is like
grasping a hot coal
with the intent of
throwing it at
someone else; you
are the one who
gets burned.
Buddha
Workshop Objectives
The anger cycle
Anger myths
Dealing with
anger
Energy curve
Pre-Assignment Review
Think of a situation where you had experienced anger, preferably one that no longer affects you currently.
1. What symptoms did you experience?
2. What was your response to your anger symptoms?
3. Was your response helpful?
Module Two: Understanding Anger
Before we discuss specific anger management strategies, it is helpful to first understand the nature of anger.
In this module, we will discuss
• The cycle of anger
• The fight or flight response
• Common myths about anger
Anger always
comes from
frustrated
expectations.
Elliot Larson
The Cycle of Anger
Crisis
Recovery
Depression
Normal/Adaptive
Trigger
Escalation
Understanding Fight or Flight
Fight Flight
Common Myths about Anger
Bad emotion
Needs to be unleashed
Ignoring anger
Cannot control anger
Being a pushover
Module Three: Do’s and Don’ts
Now that we’ve established that anger is a natural, unavoidable, and instinctual reaction, let’s look at how we can respond to anger appropriately.
In this module, we will discuss the dos and don’ts in responding to anger.
How much more
grievous are the
consequences of
anger than the
causes of it.
Marcus Aurelius
Unhelpful Ways of Dealing with Anger
Ignoring angerBeing
aggressive
Passive aggression
Not communicating
Helpful Ways of Dealing with Anger
• Acknowledge your anger
• Speak upDO
• Explain how you feel
• Be calm before you speakDO
Module Four: Gaining Control
Anger is instinctual, yes. It is an emotion that comes unbidden and we often don’t have a choice whether we would be angry or not. What we can do however, is take control of our anger when it comes. In this module, we will discuss ways to gain control over our anger.
People who fly
into a rage
always make a
bad landing.
Will Rogers
A Word of Warning
Recognize the warning signs.
Physical
Mental
Emotional
Behavioral
Using Coping Thoughts
Calm down first, and think it through
It may not be as bad as it seems
You are capable of managing this situation
It’s alright to be upset
What needs to be done immediately?
Using Relaxation Techniques
Breathing Exercises
Meditation
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
Visualization
Music
Blowing Off Some Steam
Physical Activity
MusicPillow
PunchingWriting
Module Five: Separate the People from the Problem
Anger is not just personal. It can be relational as well. When managing anger that involves other people, it helps to have a problem-oriented disposition, setting personal matters aside. This way the issue becomes an objective and workable issue.
It is wise to direct
your anger
towards problems-
-- not people; to
focus your
energies on
answers--- not
excuses.
William Arthur
Ward
Objective vs. Subjective Language
State behaviors
Don’t be vague
Use clear terms
Don’t assume
thoughts or actions
Identifying the Problem
Mutual acceptance
Review your position
Problem statement
Gather information
Using “I” Messages
A description of the behavior
Its effect on you or the organization
A suggestion for alternative behavior
Module Six: Working on the Problem
In this module, we will discuss how to work effectively on the problem. Specifically, we will tackle constructive disagreement, negotiation tips, building a consensus and identifying solutions.
Anyone can
become angry---
that is easy, but to
be angry with the
right person, at
the right time, and
for the right
purpose and in the
right way--- that is
not within
everyone’s power
and that is not
easy.
Aristotle
Using Constructive Disagreement
Solution-focused
Mutual respect
Win-win solution
Reasonable concessions
Learning-focused
Negotiation Tips
Note situational factors
Prepare!
Communicate clearly
Focus on the process
Keep an open-mind
Building Consensus
Increase sameness
reduce differences
Explore options
together
Focus on shared
interests
Identifying Solutions
SolutionBrainstorm
Adopt a model
Invent Options
Survey
Hypothesize
Module Seven: Solving the Problem
In this module, we will discuss elements of solving the problem. Particularly, we would discuss choosing a solution, making a plan, and getting it done.
Anger is not bad. Anger can be a very positive thing, the thing that moves us beyond the acceptance of evil.
Joan Chittister
Choosing a Solution
Costs and benefits
Foresight
Interests
Obstacles
Values
Making a Plan
Keep your goal central to you plan
Concrete steps
Resources you would need
Evaluate the plan
Getting it Done
Stick to your plan
Monitor progress
and results
Revise accordingly
Module Eight: A Personal Plan
In this module we will discuss what hot buttons are, how to identify your personal hot buttons, and how you can be benefitted by keeping a personal anger log.
Everyone has a hot
button. Who is
pushing yours?
While you
probably cannot
control that
person, you CAN
control the way
you react to them.
Anonymous
Understanding Hot Buttons
Something we observe
Something we think
Something we feel
Something we do
Identifying Your Hot Buttons
•Triggers
•Appropriate responses
Hot
•Awareness
•Watch for themButtons
A Personal Anger Log
Increase awareness of anger patterns
A good way to blow off steam
Module Nine: The Triple A Approach
Anger is exacerbated by a feeling of victimization and helplessness. It helps to know then that we always have at least three options when dealing with an anger-provoking situation: you can alter, avoid or accept.
In the long run, we
shape our lives,
and we shape
ourselves. The
process never
ends until we die.
And the choices
we make are
ultimately our own
responsibility.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Alter
Change non-productive habits
Respectfully ask others
Change the way you view a situation
Change the way you react to a situation
Avoid
People who make you upset
Stressful situations
Your ‘hot buttons’
Accept
Find learning
Seek higher
purpose
Vent to a friend
Module Ten: Dealing with Angry People
In this module we will discuss how we can effective deal with angry people. Specifically we will talk about the Energy Curve, de-escalation techniques, and guidelines on when to back away and what to do.
He who angers
you, conquers
you.
Elizabeth
Kenny
Understanding the Energy Curve
Take Off
Slow Down
Cool Down
RATIONAL BEHAVIOR
De-escalation Techniques
Active listening
Personal space
Sense of control
Orientate them
Invite criticism
Agree if possible
Reiterate your support
Set limits
When to Back Away and What to Do Next
Cannot view it objectively
Warning signs for abuse
Influence of mood-altering
substances
Rational intervention
does not work
Module Eleven: Pulling It All Together
In this module, we will show how these different techniques come together. We will also give additional tips to help you in practicing these anger management techniques more effectively.
If you do not
wish to be prone
to anger, do not
feed the habit.
Give it nothing
which may tend
to its increase.
Epictetus
Process Overview
Be informed
Anger cycle
Fight or flight
Do’s and don'ts
Be self-aware
Warning signs
Hot buttons
Personal dynamics
Take control
Coping
Relaxation
Blow off steam
Take action
Negotiate
Make a plan
De-escalate
Putting It into Action
Find your motivation
One change at a time
Reward yourself
Accountability partner
Module Twelve: Wrapping Up
Although this workshop is coming to a close, we hope that your journey to improve your anger management skills is just beginning. This will be a key tool to guide your progress in the days, weeks, months, and years to come. We wish you the best of luck on the rest of your travels!
This feeling,
finally, that we
may change
things - this is at
the center of
everything we
are. Lose that...
lose everything.
Sir David Hare
Words from the Wise
Yogi Berra: In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
Dwight Eisenhower: Plans are nothing; planning is everything.
Jonas Salk: The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.