Better or Worse Than Queen?TaylorMay

Better or worse than QUEEN?

DeaconMercury

Fat Bottomed Girls

vs.

Baby’s Got Back

Mix-a-lot’s still got it

BETTER

Freddie’s unitard

vs.

Cornfed tigertard

Chest hair

BETTER

Short mic stand

vs.

Short leg

God’s fault

BETTER

Brian May

vs.

Louis XIV

Motherfuckin’ Sun King

BETTER

Farrokh Bulsara

vs.

Farang Irani

Guy smiley

BETTER

Statue of Freddie in Montreaux, Switzerland

vs.

Statue of boner guy

I just want to grab it

BETTER

DeNiro, May, Taylor

vs.

Shit, blood, cum

Sorry about that

WAY BETTER

Roger Taylor dressed as a boy

vs.

Roger Taylor dressed as a girl

Not even close

100% FUCKABLE

Brian May figurine

vs.

Cobain Unplugged figurine

Biggie Doll

BETTER

Queen’s Bicycle Race Video

vs.

Manayunk Bike Race

You might see Gregg Gethard throw up on a grill

BETTER

Freddie petting a cat

vs.

Tom Waits fishing

Nothing could be more worse than Tom Waits, his dumb singing voice,

and his stupid old clothes

BETTER

Queen’s Flash Gordon Soundtrack

vs.

ELO’s Xanadu Soundtrack

Good cocaine costs real money

FORGIVENESS GRANTED

Moet et Chandonin a pretty cabinet

vs.

Ponies in a bucket

Ponies: the lowest form of human consumption

BETTER

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

vs.

Crazy little thing called necrosis

Don’t care for that song

BETTER

A middle aged woman dreaming about Freddie’s

stache

vs.

A middle aged woman wishing she could fuck a

horse

Horses sometimes like fucking people to death

BETTER

Queen topless

vs.

Pit bottomless

I would let these guys run a train on me before I went to Finnigan’s Wake

BETTER

Michael Jackson with a total hard on for

Freddie

vs.

Michael Jackson with a total hard on for balloons

Just look at the camera, kid

BETTER

Freddie look-a-like 1

vs.

Freddie look-a-like 2

More murderous

BETTER

Paul Stanley making Brian May feel super

uncomfortable

vs.

Paul Stanley making me feel super uncomfortable

Leave me alone, Paul Stanley

BETTER

Freddie pretending to like chicks

vs.

Me, honestly, liking the movie White Chicks

Sequel in development!

BETTER

Freddie Mercury Shoes

vs.

Iron Maiden Tie

Please don’t make me choose

DEAD EVEN

John Deacon’s weird 80s hairdo

vs.

All natural sea sponge

Doesn’t smell like cigarettes and the last groupie left

BETTER

Eye sash

vs.

Eye nipples

I guess, sorta

BETTER

Queen on the cover of Music Life magazine

vs.

Steve Guttenberg on the cover of Playgirl magazine

Doesn’t have Steve Guttenberg’s baby bald nutsac in it

BETTER

The Basslines in “Under Pressure” and “Another

One Bites the Dust”

vs.

World peace

Basslines are forever

BETTER

Listening to “Bohemian Rhapsody” all the way

through

vs.

Getting your dick slammed in a door

Just barely

BETTER