Post on 19-Oct-2019
transcript
L E A D E R S H I P T R A I N I N GE Q U I P P E D
S E S S I O N 1 V I S I O N O F R O L E
Introduction
God, the Relationship Initiator
Before the universe was made, God eternally enjoyed perfect fellowship within
Himself as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. As an overflow of that fellowship,
desiring to maximize His glory, He created man in His image. Man was to live
with God in intimate fellowship, communing with Him face-to-face.
Sin, the Relationship Breaker
But mankind – believing the serpent’s lie that God’s rules came from a
burdensome, angry taskmaster rather than a loving, protective Father – chose
to disregard God’s fellowship and sought to be their own god (Gen 3:1-6).
Immediately as Adam and Eve disobeyed God, sin entered the world. This
fractured the relationship between God and man. Rather than finding joyful
refuge in God, they hid from him in terror (Gen 3:8).
This one sinful act has had devastating effects on all relationships – our
relationship with God and with one another. All throughout the Scriptures, we
see case after case of people fighting, lying, betraying, and backbiting one
another. But, sin didn’t just make life hard and relationships painful, it also
came with the judgement of death (Rom 6:23). Because of our sin we stand
deserving the wrath of God, in desperate need of redemption. Because of His
holiness, we deserve to be separated from Him forever.
Jesus, the Relationship Reconciler
But God desired that we should once again be in communion with Him.
Sending His Son, Jesus, He brought us back into fellowship with Him. Jesus
lived a perfectly righteous life and died a sufficient, substitutionary death on
our behalf. He rose from the grave, proving that He is victorious over death and
sin. He then ascended into Heaven and now stands at the right hand of the
Father, making intercession for those who trust in Him by faith.
When the Son became a man through the Incarnation, He displayed perfect
fellowship with the Father and delighted to do His will. He loved God with His
whole person – heart, body, and mind. He also showed us the supreme
benchmark of love by letting go of His life for us (John 15:13), so that we could
inherit eternal life. Jesus’ relationship with God and man is our model for
fellowship with the Father and one another.
Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection brought reconciliation between man and
God as well as man and man. We are reconciled to God because our sins are
completely forgiven and we are considered “children of God” (1 John 3:1). We
are reconciled to one another because God has created “in himself one new
man,” (Eph 2:15) crushing all divisions between us. We are no longer slaves to
sin, but slaves to righteousness (Rom 6:17-18), called to love another with the
affection of Christ (John 15:12).
Church, the Relationship Cultivator
This “one new man” unity is manifested in the local church. As people believe
the gospel, they’re adopted into God’s family, and express their new identity as
children of God by living in gospel fellowship with other family members in a
local church. We extend Jesus’ redemptive work as we care for those in the
church – showing compassion to the sufferer, encouragement to the faint-
hearted, and restoration to the sin-ensnared (Gal 6:1). We embolden one another
to “love and good works” (Heb 10:24). We encourage one another to make God
known to to all people, declaring the gospel message in our families,
neighborhoods, workplaces, schools, and anywhere else our feet may land. By
this we obey God’s word and make known the love of Christ.
God’s relational nature, sin’s effects, Jesus’ redemption, and the Church’s
mission are all on display in the church. In our small groups this is tangibly
fleshed out and we can, in the words of Paul Tripp, live as “instruments in the
Redeemers hands.” This course is designed to help you best facilitate this reality.
The Body of Christ
In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians we find that God calls the church the Body of
Christ (Eph 1:23). Jesus being the head, He leads the Body and we, through our
obedience to His Word, are participants in His work in the world. This Body has
many different members with each believers’ skills and abilities working
together to produce fruitful work. There are no lesser or greater member as each
part if vital to the body’s health and effectiveness (1 Cor 12:12-26).
Your pastor(s) desire(s) “to equip the saints for the work of ministry” (Eph
4:11-16), and to do this well. We also want to ensure that we’re all being “doers of
the Word, and not hearers only” (James 1:22). Here’s the holistic view of how we
seek to do this:
We call this the “Essentials at Ashland.” It’s the bones (or structure) of our
discipleship – of how our people are trained up towards love and faithfulness to
Jesus. We can create the bones but…
You are the muscles.
We see Bible Fellowship Groups (BFGs) as the prime arena for disciple-making.
Because of this, healthy, effective BFG Leaders are vital to our success in making
and developing disciples of the Lord Jesus. Without BFG Leaders, the ministry
of our church is greatly hindered. It’s the heart of your pastoral staff to equip
you to be an effective leader of your BFG.
The Goals of a BFG
Spiritual Growth
BFG should be a place of spiritual activity where an awareness of the Spirit and
a desire to conform all of life to Christ and His Word is cultivated. BFGs will pray
and discuss / apply God’s Word together.
Fellowship
The Christian life is not lived in isolation. Growth in Christ and change towards
His likeness is a community project. God calls us to live with Him in the context
of relationships – especially relationships with members of our local church.
BFGs provide the context for:
• Developing biblical friendships
• Caring for one another through trials, bearing one another’s burdens
• Celebrating joyful occasions and enjoying one another
• Serving side-by-side in our church and community
• Sharing God’s Word with one another for encouragement and
accountability
• Confessing our sins to one another and pursuing repentance and
reconciliation
Mission
BFGs are not “holy huddles” where Christians get together to simply talk about
the Bible, but are gospel battalions that march the gospel forward. They’re
conduits through which new disciples of Jesus are being made and brought
into the church. They also strategically and sacrificially serve the community
around them. Think of your BFG as a “missional community,” on mission to
proclaim the excellencies of God and His gospel.
The Charge of the BFG Leader
Promote Spiritual Growth
Each meeting centers around Jesus and the Word of God. You’ll do this by:
• Leading the group in prayer
• Leading the group in sermon-application discussion
• You’ll develop application-oriented questions for discussion in
advance. At times, questions may be provided for you by the
pastoral staff.
• Keep the discussion focused on practical application of
Scripture.
• Ensure the discussion stays centered on Christ and anchored
in Scripture.
• Promoting the private practice of spiritual disciplines (Scripture
reading, prayer, engaging in corporate worship, etc).
It’s vital that all of this is saturated in the gospel – that it’s by grace alone,
through faith alone, in Christ alone that we have fellowship with God.
Cultivate Biblical Fellowship
Biblical fellowship involves accountability, care, and sharing life with one
another. You have the opportunity to encourage and foster relationships as the
leader.
You do this by:
• Facilitating personal interaction in meeting contexts
• Organizing care in crisis
• Planning and promoting “Life Nights” (fun, leisurely activities for
your group)
• Celebrating milestones in members’ lives (birthdays, marriages,
baptisms, etc)
• Arranging follow-up meetings with members as needed
Lead in Mission
Just as God has gifted His whole body with a diverse array of gifts, your BFG is
made up of folks with differing gifts. It’s your job to discover, cultivate, and
leverage these gifts for maximum gospel-proclaiming effectiveness. Here are
some ways you can practically lead your BFG towards greater Kingdom
effectiveness:
• Ensure they’re serving the local church in some way (e.g., Journey
Kids, Music, Frontline, College, Tech Team, etc).
• Organizing service projects for the community, church, and
individual members
• Encouraging (and if you’re gifted in this way, training) each member
in sharing the gospel
• Encouraging members to invite others to your BFG
The Commitment of the Pastoral Staff to You
You’re not alone in this task. It’s our goal to give you the necessary tools and
training for you to be an effective leader. We’ll partner with you in caring for
those in your group. We’ll be accessible and approachable when needs arise.
Ultimately, we’re responsible for the spiritual care of those in your group. We’ll
walk beside you as you aim to be faithful to lead those under your care towards
love and faithfulness to the God who rescues us.
S E S S I O N 2 A R T O F F A C I L I T A T I O N A N D
D I S C I P L E S H I P
The Heart of Change
God wants our whole person. He is not interested in mere outward appearances.
His goal for us is not superficial confession of sin our mere outward behavioral
change.
No, he wants to change us from the heart – the inner core of who we are; the
seat of beliefs, values, feelings, and decisions. The heart is what ultimately
affects our words and actions (Luke 6:43-45). You do, think, believe, and are
what you love.
So, in leading our BFG, the goal is to help members understand their
circumstances, struggles, and sins in reference to the heart, and their need to be
transformed by the Word and the Spirit in their thinking and desires.
Only the living Word of God can “search and discern” the heart (Heb 4:12). True
change in a person’s life is only possible through the application of the Word of
God by the Spirit of God. Because of this, we base our entire meeting time
around the Word of God and dependence on the Spirit of God.
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“ ‘…you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind and will
all your strength.’ “
– Jesus (Mark 12:30)
“For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give
it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken
and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”
– King David (Psalm 51:16–17)
Arrows in the King’s Hands
We, in and of ourselves, do not possess the power to change our own or anyone
else’s heart. No matter how hard we strive, think, strategize, and/or agonize, we
can’t twist a heart of stone into a heart of flesh. But God promised long ago that
He, Himself would:
We receive the fulfillment of this promise by grace through faith in Jesus. When
a person puts their trust in Jesus alone, the Spirit indwells within them, giving
them power to fight sin and walk in obedience to the Father (Eph. 1:13-14; Titus
3:5-6, 2 Peter 1:3-4; 1 John 4:13-15).
The gift of life change is unlocked by Jesus, alone. It is to this reality that we
must consistently point our people. We are not the solution to our people’s
problems; we are simply arrows pointing to the One who is.
Reflection
Why must we embrace and employ a Jesus-centered approach to change?
How are you believing and acting like you’re the solution to others’ problems
and/or sinful habits and actions? What does this reveal about your heart?
What can you do to lead yourself and others to believe and act like Jesus is our
only helper?
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“And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will
put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone
from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will
put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my
statutes and be careful to obey my rules.”
– Ezekiel 36:26-27
Head | Heart | Hands
It is absolutely crucial for us to understand that life change does not happen
outside of the work and Person of God. While this is true, God delights in using
us as instruments in His hands. We can be used as guides to help others to, as
we’ve said before, understand their circumstances, struggles, and sins through
the lens of their own heart, and their need to be transformed by the Word and
the Spirit in their thinking and desires.
We do this by asking the right questions.
“Head” Questions
These questions seek to gauge your people’s understanding of the Biblical text
and the preached Word from that morning’s sermon. You’re answering the
question, “Do they get it?”
Examples:
• Paul’s conversion gives us a context for the gospel. What does this mean?
• How does a gospel-centered view of diversity differ from our culture’s thoughts of tolerance?
• How does being upfront about our sin lead us to the grace in the gospel?
“Heart” Questions
These questions seek to reveal and analyze the heart of your people, specifically.
Whereas “head” questions can be answered in a general sense, “heart” questions
are deeply personal. They’re designed to dig up the “why” in people – their
motivations, presuppositions, & leanings – and “how” they respond to God’s
pressing in one their life.
Examples:
• What have you told God you just will not do? Why?
• What peoples are you most guilty of categorizing according to prejudices?
• What are some good things God has given you that you’ve turned into idols?
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“Hand” Questions
These questions seek to answer, “What are you going to do?” “Head” questions
gauge a person’s understanding, “heart” questions gauge a person’s
responsiveness to the Word, and “hand” questions presses those two together
and asks, “Now what?” These questions seek to graciously apply pressure
towards being “doers of the word, and not hearers only” (James 1:22).
Examples:
• How will you stop trying to be Jesus and seek to be with Jesus?
• God showed us the greatest hospitality and welcomed us into His family. How will you show this gospel-hospitality this week?
• Who will you share the gospel with this week?
Head, Heart, and Hands Together
Why are each of these question types helpful in leading people towards greater
love and faithfulness to Jesus?
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“Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart,
and said to Peter and the rest of the Apostles, ‘Brothers,
what shall we do?’ “
– Acts 2:37
The Heart is the Target
We do, think, believe, and are what we love. Our affections lead us to certain
beliefs and actions. So, we must turn our affections toward and love the right
thing. As the leader of your BFG, your goal is to help your people understand
and do this. This is hard. It’s common for group members to want to move
immediately toward practical help or superficial change without addressing the
heart. Here’s an example:
Problem: “At my work they’re laying people off like crazy, and I think my
department is next. I’m worried I’m going to lose my job!”
Response 1: “My company has been hiring, lately. Maybe I can help you get on.”
(This is helpful information, but doesn’t address the heart)
Response 2: “Are you reading your Bible before you go to work? I think if you
did that, it’d help you with your stress on the job. It helps me.”
(Good practice, but doesn’t adequately apply the Word to this specific
situation and the response of the heart to it)
Response 3: “The Bible says, ‘My God shall provide for all your needs.’ You just
have to trust that God will provide.”
(True and good, but to find this trust, we have to dig deeper into who God
is, how we fail to believe Him, how to discard the false beliefs we have
about Him, and then lay hold of His promises)
Response 4: “What exactly do you fear? Who is the Lord in this situation? How
does your fear reflect what you believe about God?”
(This is the best a group can give. It gets to the heart, helps root out fear
that may grow from pride and a denial of who God is, and cultivates faith
in the character and promises of God)
We don’t neglect the practical needs of the group members – far from it! – but,
our primary concern is that we target the root sin issues of their heart and apply
the gospel to it.
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Men, Women, and Jesus
God created both men and women as His image bearers, and so both are equal
in personhood, worth, and dignity (Gen. 1:27). Both men and women are to
exercise godly dominion over the earth, and while they share this mandate, God
clearly made men and women different, assigning distinct and complementary
roles (Gen. 2:15-23).
Why does this matter?
What should we do about it?
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Because of this distinction, we have a responsibility to disciple men and women
together and separately. Practically speaking, this means that, at times, men
need to be with only men, and women need to be with only women. A single-
sex context promotes freedom to appropriately discuss sensitive topics,
allowance for more specific confession of sin, and unique opportunities for
men to deepen relationships with the men and women to do the same with
other women.
We do this through a variety of contexts:
BAM Breakfast (Men) / T2W Meetings (Men)
These once-a-month meetings are based around a topic of teaching/discussion
related to biblical manhood and womanhood, respectively. The men meet on
the first Saturday of every month, and the women meet on the first Tuesday of
every month (excluding summer months).
Fight Club (Men) / T2W Group (Women)
These groups of 3-4 men or women meet regularly for more intense
accountability than what is typically appropriate in a larger BFG context.
Typically, a group will walk through a series of accountability questions
(provided by the church), applying the gospel to each situation in each
members’ lives. There’s flexibility in how often these groups meet, some
choosing to meet once a week, twice a month, or once a month.
BFG Breakouts
Once a month, many BFGs will have a men’s/women’s breakout time, where the
men and women of the BFG will discuss the sermon, separately, or will go
outside of the home for a time of gender-specific fellowship. This could happen
during the BFG’s typical meeting time, or serve as an additional time of
fellowship.
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BFG Breakouts (continued)
• Transferring Biblical Manhood
• In a men’s meeting, opportunities exist for men to grow in
their biblical understanding and conviction to lead, protect,
provide, and serve in the context of their home, workplace,
and community.
• In each meeting, the leader should remind the men in some
way of their God-given call and privilege to grow in biblical
masculinity.
• Transferring Biblical Womanhood
• The leader’s wife or other woman leads the ladies in her group
by transferring the values of biblical womanhood through her
example and their discussion. In doing this, the ladies may
increasingly orient themselves as Christian woman to their
God-given faith (Tit. 2:3-5)
• Recognize that while practices may differ among the ladies in
your group, biblical principles of femininity will remain the
same.
It’s the responsibility of each BFG leader to encourage each member of their
BFG to:
1. Attend the upcoming BAM Breakfast/T2W Meeting
2. Be integrated into a Fight Club/T2W Group
3. Lead BFG Breakout times.
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The Essentials of Discipleship
You are not the sole discipler of those in your BFG. Everyone in your BFG needs
the whole church to grow towards greater love and faithfulness to Jesus. If the
church is Christ’s body, then each part needs every other part for the body to
function properly.
While the discipleship mandate is not solely your responsibility, you do play a
massive role in influencing those in your BFG towards engaging with the whole
church. You do this by encouraging engagement in Worship, BFG, and Service/
Mission.
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As you lead your BFG, it’s your responsibility that the members of your BFG are:
1. Engaged in worship
2. Committed to your BFG
3. Joyfully serving the Body of Christ
Leading people to follow Jesus more deeply is more than asking good questions
and meeting regularly (though those are good and necessary practices). It’s
shepherding their hearts well, and you can’t do that on your own. It requires the
whole church, under the preaching of God’s Word, serving together for the
mission of spreading God’s Kingdom and glory from our city to the ends of the
earth.
NOTES
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S E S S I O N 3 G R O W T H & O U T R E A C H
Growth2
In gauging the health of a BFG we look at a number of factors. For the purposes
of this training, we’ll focus on two specifically related to growth: (1) the spiritual
growth of each BFG member, and (2) the numerical growth of the BFG as a
whole (including the attendance regularity of each member). We’ve found that a
positive correlation exists between these two variables. As members move
towards greater spiritual health (see also: an increased love for and faithfulness
to God and zeal for His glory), the group attendance on the whole rises, as well.
Some folks cringe when the words “numerical growth” are used in a ministry
context. There’s an assumption that a focus on growth in attendance leads
churches to sacrifice spiritual growth on the altar of numerical growth. In some
church environments, this is unfortunately true. Some churches will do
everything short of sin to get people in their doors, and are “all about the
numbers.”
But, this is not the case at Ashland. See, those numbers are not a mere metric of
ministerial success, but people made in the image of God whom He loves and
created for His purposes. The heartbeat of our church is to see others follow
Jesus, so numerical growth in congregational worship and/or BFG attendance
is seen as a blessing from God. Our mission is to invest the gospel of Jesus into
as many people as we can. Because of this, we have a strong commitment to
growth.
So, why is it that when group members grow spiritually the group attendance
grows, as well? Simple. As people come together to pray with and for one
another, read the Scriptures together, confess sin, express how the Lord is
working in their lives, and hold one another accountable, they grow in their
love for and faithfulness to the Lord. As their love for God increases, their desire
for others to experience His goodness also increases, compelling them to bring
others into contexts where they can experience His goodness.
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Growth and Intentionality
But, growth doesn’t happen unintentionally. While it’s true that people will lean
towards bringing folks in as they grow, an intentional, outreach-focused vision
maximizes this initiative. From day one, the leader should cast the vision that
the goal for the BFG is to bring in more people to experience the goodness of
God through Christian community. This outward-oriented reorientation should
happen regularly. Creating contexts where your members can invite others
with ease is crucial. We’ll explore this more in a later section (pg. 5).
Multiply, Don’t (Just) Add
Adding new people to your BFG is a mark of a healthy BFG, but not the goal. The
ultimate goal for every BFG is multiplication.
By multiplication, we mean BFGs that plant BFGs, that plant BFGs, that plant
BFGs…
A BFG of 30 (or more) people is not the goal. For the depth of friendship and
level of accountability we want in our BFGs, the ideal number of committed,
regularly attending members is 10-12 adults (not including children). Why?
People tend to be less transparent about their lives in larger groups, and are less
likely to contribute to discussion when groups grow above these numbers
numerically. Typically, if a group reaches 15-20 active members, about half of
the members regularly contribute to the discussion, while the other half simply
observe. This isn’t helpful if our goal is personal, sermon-based application with
genuine accountability.
Through BFG multiplication, our gospel influence exponentially grows. As new
BFGs are planted throughout our city, new people are engaged with the gospel
as the members of each BFG seek to invest the gospel into their lives.
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Wait, You Want Us to Divide the Group?
No, we want you to multiply your group. We use the term, “multiply,” with great
intentionality. “Dividing” carries a negative connotation and implies a lack of
intentionality. “Multiplying” carries with it the idea of intentional growth and a
mission.
A group that divides simply becomes two stagnating groups. A group that
multiplies becomes two groups that multiply. The multiplying DNA of the first
carries on into the second. As these groups continue to be faithful to Christ and
seek multiplication, more groups with the same DNA are planted, and so on. So
from one BFG comes many, many other BFGs, all having the same goal:
multiplication.
The hope is that this continues on and on and we see a significantly greater
gospel impact in our community.
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Does this mean that some members of your BFG will leave to start a new one?
Yes. Can this be difficult? Certainly. But, if the DNA of your BFG is to reach as
many people with the gospel as possible, that difficulty is overpowered by a
great joy, knowing that more people are being discipled towards greater love for
and faithfulness to Jesus.
How Do We Know that a BFG is Ready to Multiply?
1. Members attend faithfully. We measure this by…
• The same people showing up each meeting, week-to-week
• Members are actively engaged in sermon-based, application-oriented
discussion and outreach events
2. Members are bringing new folks in, and those new folks are staying
(numerical growth and stability)
3. The BFG is “mature” enough to multiply
• If the BFG has only been planted for 3 months and has 20+ people
coming, we would not necessarily recommend a multiplication. The
BFG needs time to stabilize, and relationships need to be given time to
establish deep roots.
• As an example, one BFG that was planted saw a rapid surge in
attendance — nearly 30 people — in just a few weeks, but those
numbers dropped significantly to typically 10 regular attenders
after a few months. The other 10-20 people involved were hit-
and-miss in attendance. Week-to-week they saw high
attendance totals, but the people were different, so it lacked
stability.
4. A new leader is identified, developed, and ready to be sent out
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Developing Leaders
In thinking about multiplication, it’s essential to hone in on leadership
development. It almost goes without saying, but without a BFG leader, there is
no BFG.
Identify
What characteristics should I look for?
• Growing in godliness in personal life
• Regular attendance in worship & BFG
• Active, helpful participation in discussion and outreach events
• Regularly serving the church
• Invites and brings others to worship service and/or BFG
Develop
Give them opportunities to…
• Facilitate the discussion
• Lead the prayer time
• Lead the Men’s/Women's Breakout time
• Plan a ministry event (outreach, service, etc)
• Organize / coordinate meals, Life Nights, etc.
…and provide feedback (repeat)
Recommend the leader to the pastoral staff for additional training.
Send
Launch them out with “anchor members”
• “Anchor members” are those in your (or another) BFG who are
committed to the vision of multiplication who will help the new BFG
leader establish a healthy, growth-oriented BFG. They already possess
the DNA of multiplication
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• In considering who should go with the new leaders, make it a
collaborative effort. Ask the leader who they want to take with them,
and encourage those members to go.
• It’s not recommended that many members from your BFG are sent
out with the new leader, as the goal here is multiplication. The new
BFG leaders responsibility is to engage new people to join their BFG.
One or two families (3-4 adults) from your (or another) BFG is
sufficient to get started.
Reach Out
A robust outreach culture feeds the mission of the BFG to make disciples of
Jesus Christ. Without it, the BFG becomes insular, and a “me-focused” BFG
atrophies. Members’ preferences take prominence and the group can lose their
purpose for meeting. So, how do we create an outreach culture?
• Weekly Invites – Each week, ask the members of your BFG who they’re
going to invite or who they’ve invited to attend
• Encourage your members to orient their prayer requests towards those
outside the BFG – specifically, those who need the gospel
• Plan a quarterly outreach/service event intended with specific intention to
serve those in your neighborhood/community
• Life Nights
• Embrace and encourage biblical hospitality (more on this in the next
meeting)
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Questions to Consider
Explain the concept of “growth” in a ministry context. How do you react to this?
Should we care about a BFGs numerical growth? Why or why not?
Explain the concept of “multiplication” in your own words as it relates to BFGs.
Why is multiplication so essential to us? How engaged are you in the process of
multiplying your BFG?
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How are you intentionally leading your BFG towards a growth-oriented vision?
How can you more effectively lead in this area?
Based on the four (4) criteria we use to measure a BFG’s readiness to multiply,
what needs to happen in order for your BFG to multiply?
Who is/are your potential future leader/leaders? How are you developing them?
How can you more effectively do so?
Who are your “anchor families”?
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How are you currently building an “inviting” culture? How can you more
effectively foster this culture?
What events and/or service projects can your group do to maximize your
outreach impact? Think about the people in your group. What gifts and abilities
are present? When will you do these events and/or service projects?
Additional Notes
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A P P E N D I X 1 H O S P I T A L I T Y A N D B E S T P R A C T I C E S
When to Meet
Each week unless we tell you otherwise in light of calendar, church wide
conflicts, or you’ve served during Access. Please let Clay Tabor know if you are
not meeting and why.
Context: The Home
Your home is to be a place of fellowship – sharing the gospel together.
Relationships are to be formed not just socially but through the applying of the
gospel to our lives. Host homes must create an atmosphere so this is possible by
embracing biblical hospitality.
Hospitality is more than welcoming at arms length, it’s inviting others to
experience family. A home is not a fortress to protect, but a weapon to wield for
gospel ministry. Your goal is to create an environment where everyone feels at
home, any time. Avoid creating an environment where people are nervous
about spilling drinks and breaking things. Give your “things” eternal value by
using them for gospel ministry. People, and their faithfulness to and love for
Christ is the ultimate priority. Encourage your BFG to employ biblical
hospitality by being on time for the sake of the new folks being welcomed.
Invite
Most people are yearning for real friendships. Often, all it takes to initiate a
gospel friendship is a simple invite. Look for guests at church. Build
relationships within your neighborhood. Welcome coworkers.
When inviting, be crystal clear about time, place, and directions. Invite guest
over during the week to hangout and see your home. Explain what happens
with the meal. If they ask, “What should I bring?” Tell them what to bring. After
they’ve attended feel free to ask, “Would you like to be on the text message /
Facebook Group / GroupMe?” (whatever you use to communicate). Most people
attend BFG because they are looking to be included in community. Don’t be
afraid to include them.
Communication
Communication needs to be frequent, clear, and precise. Whatever channel you
use to communicate, ensure that both men and women can see all
communication. Food and Hospitality can be handled separately. Suggestions:
Group texts, Facebook groups, GroupMe (app), Remind (app), etc.
Childcare
In order for folks to engage with the Word and one another, you want to create
an environment that is distraction-free. Children are a blessing from the Lord,
but can often cause distraction among group members when they’re trying to
process through how the Word is working in their lives.
Keep children (and animals) from disrupting the conversation. We recommend
having a room dedicated for the purpose of childcare. Start a rotation of group
members to watch children in that separate area. To do this, assign members to
weekly rotation where everyone has to serve (rather than an “Alright, who wants
to watch the kids tonight?” approach). You could also collectively hire childcare.
Food
Meals are a sign of intimacy. They are not required but helpful in
communicating family. Everyone can bring food for less than the cost of what
you would spend eating out or at home. Everyone bringing their own food
(from a drive-through, or otherwise) can be helpful at times, especially for host
homes. Consider, however, the cost for large families.
Alcohol policy
BFG leaders and host homes must refrain from the consumption of alcohol in
and around BFG activities.