Post on 24-Mar-2016
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Big Fish, Big Pond: the Story of the Artsy Fish who found her Way
By: Sarah Sparks
I have always loved art making, from the first time I drew on the
sidewalk with chalk to my first swish of a paintbrush on paper. There is a
reason that every year I would scour the Sears catalog for any arts or
crafts toy that I could find to add to my Christmas wish list. In many of my
childhood works, I proclaimed that I wanted to be an artist when I grew
up, drawing myself with the token beret, standing in front of an easel with
palette and brush in hand. Art excited me and I knew at a young age that
my passion lies within the visual arts.
Early on, it was obvious to others around me that I had a talent for
creating art. I entered and won many poster contests and class design
competitions and my work was often chosen for display on the walls. I was
a quiet child with a keen sense of observation and attention to detail and
my success led me to strive for realism in my work. I had an intense ability
to focus on a project for hours at a time, editing and perfecting my work to
the best of my ability.
Because of the support of my family, peers, and teachers, I grew
confident in my abilities and never lost my interest in creating works. As
Feldman discusses, the social value that is placed on aesthetic
development and the opportunities to experience or be exposed to art are
crucial to the development of aesthetic sensibilities (1985). My parents did
just this, in that they continuously supplied me with new materials to spark
my creativity and also provided me with new experiences in the arts, such
as signing me up for KinderArt classes, or other various summer
programs that developed my artistic skills. My mother was also talented in
the arts when she was in school and because of this, she really supported
my interests. I wanted to model myself after her.
Like most children, I drew images of myself, my family members,
images from pop culture, such as cartoons, or other various subject
matters that were deemed acceptable by my peers. I did not have an art
teacher in elementary school, only my homeroom teacher who provided
us with random cultural crafts or opportunities to illustrate along with our
journaling activities. Even without specific arts instruction, my interest in
image making flourished during this time period as I practiced developing
my observation skills and imagination whenever I got the chance. Art
making during this time was fun because it was instigated, controlled, and
measured by myself. Without rules, I was able to thrive.
It was also during this time period that I was identified as eligible for
the Gifted and Talented program at school, where I was pulled out once or
twice a week to develop and create projects or activities
with peers who were similar to my own mental age. It
was here that I discovered bookmaking, which turned
out to be of great use for me because I had shown
interest in writing as well. In my childhood portfolio,
there are many examples of handmade books that I
wrote and illustrated from my own imagination. I used
these books and other art works primarily as a source
for giving gifts to those who supported my artistic
abilities as a way of thanking them for the happiness that
art gave me.
Upon entry into middle school, I became very
self-conscious of my appearance, of sharing my
ideas, and of being accepted by my peers. I was able
to shine through occasional group projects, where I
was chosen to design and illustrate posters, and also through my
involvement with the Pep Club, where I stayed after school for hours
perfecting my renditions of our school mascot for spirit posters.
I quit band in 6th grade in favor of taking an art class, which was only
9 weeks long. However, it was my first class with a real art instructor and I
was excited and nervous about gaining her approval. She turned out to be
Est. 1994, a portrait of my mother drawn on Post-‐It notes. I modeled my artistic self after her abilities.
a quirky, disinterested woman, who assigned generic projects that
introduced us to basic media. I don’t recall her walking around the room
much or engaging in conversation with me about how I could improve my
work. Because this elective was not offered at multiple levels, I would not
have art class again until high school.
I do not have any evidence of projects from this time period that I
have kept, which tells me that none of the works inspired me or felt
personal enough to me that I cared to keep them. This time period, for me,
reflected the “U-curve” of artistic development that is discussed by
Gardner, in that my lack of practice of drawing and seeing led to a dip in
my artistic development during my pre-teen years, possibly motivated by
the pressure to conform and fit in (1986). I did not want to show my artistic
gifts in environments where they would make me feel out casted or
strange, much like other gifted children who will “dumb down” their
abilities to avoid asynchronous attention (Silverman, 1997).
When I entered high school, I made it a point to sign up for an Art 1
class to further improve on my abilities. It was here that I met Mr.
Grimsley, who just so happened to be the same art teacher that my
mother had when she was in high school. He was completely different
than the art teacher I encountered in middle school, in that he was active
and engaged in the classroom. He thoroughly explained assignments on
the board and encouraged conversation to talk about possibilities for
attacking the design problem at hand. He was supportive but honest,
pointing out areas of weakness that needed improvement.
When sophomore year began, I made the decision to take multiple
advanced level courses to keep up with my other gifted peers- at the
expense of not having room for art courses in my schedule. I can still
remember Mr. Grimsley tracking me down in the hallway and asking me
why I hadn’t signed up for more arts courses. He pointed out my ability
and my need to continue growing this ability and encouraged me to realize
my talent as a part of my identity. He held me accountable so that I would
not waste the gifts that I had. Needless to say, the next two years of high
school, I signed up for numerous arts courses, including AP Studio art my
senior year.
My other two art instructors during high school were very old-
fashioned in their ways of teaching art. They taught the processes and
media of art, but never the history, cultures, or movements in art.
Students were allowed some freedom to interpret projects in their own
individualistic and expressive ways, but often the works were very similar
and bland in style.
It was during this time that my artistic development felt stagnant. I
could accurately copy images that I saw, but when left without a prompt, I
was very weak in coming up with my own imagery,
compositions, or ideas. This came to a head during my
AP Studio Art course, which I took as an independent
study. I was left alone often, and found myself
procrastinating on starting new projects because I
was uninspired. I often threw works away after
starting them, because I would hit a roadblock in my
technique that would frustrate me to the point of
quitting.
Once again, Mr. Grimsley came to my
rescue. He allowed me to take a day off and travel
to see an exhibit of works at a local college. I came
back very inspired and fresh with new ideas that
day. I learned the importance of surrounding
yourself with inspiration of other artists and
seeking out opportunities to encounter art, instead of trying to do it all on
your own.
In college, I felt very behind in the areas of technology and art
history because I was not exposed to them in high school. Because I had
begun college seeking a degree in graphic design, I learned really quickly
2002-‐ self-‐portrait in acrylic paint. The unique perspective and mood of the piece characterize my frustrations in my artistic growth during high school.
that I had some catching up to do in these areas. I can remember being
completely frustrated by my beginning level graphic design course
because I had no concept of how to use Photoshop and my teacher
assumed that everyone was familiar with the program. I would spend
hours fighting back and forth with my work, clicking here and there, trying
to get the simplest of edits for my work, when others knew the secrets of
maneuvering about the program.
It was at this low point of wanting to quit that I once again
remembered the wise words of Mr. Grimsley. Shortly before graduation,
he had asked me what I was planning on doing for a career and if I had
ever considered teaching because he thought I would be good at it. I had
wanted to be an art teacher since childhood, but flying high on my senior
success in art, I decided I wanted to do art for myself via commercial
artist or graphic design. At this point of failure, his words rang true in my
head and I quickly changed my major to art education. I credit him for
seeing the service and leadership sides of me and for once again
encouraging me to use my strengths in pursuit of lifelong happiness.
It was in my college studio classes that I learned discipline and
freedom from perfection. Once I was freed from my “small pond” and
placed among others of equal abilities, I became unsure of myself as an
artist for the first time. Suddenly I saw my proportion issues, the lack of
depth in my backgrounds, and my inability to compose unique
compositions. Sure, I had the technical skills for drawing and painting that
I had developed on my own, but I had no artistic personal “voice.” This
became the most clear to me when I was assigned the task of writing an
artist statement for my body of work. Suddenly, I had to really work to
achieve my artistic development as an adult.
I did learn to focus on particular themes or concentrations within
my work, even if they did revolve around the typical themes of family and
nature that had permeated my work since childhood. It was here that I felt
the most comfort and support, so it felt natural to me to paint or draw what
I loved the most, which I still continue to do in
my current work. A lot of my college work is
very organic in nature and I also included a lot
of portraits. By the end of my undergraduate
work, I began to concentrate on mixed media
paintings and a series of works around the idea
of “Art for the Blind.” A lot of my initial
creativity that I found in childhood- exploring
new media, working with my hands, and
using symbols in my work- all came flooding
back to me during this process. I really
learned why I create artwork and for the first
time, thought about how my audience would
read or interpret my work for their own understanding.
Ultimately, in college I discovered that when I hit that wall of no
return in a work, that I have to step back, reassess my purpose and goals
for the work, and resolve the work for its own purpose, even if it deviates
from my original concept. To be original in your work, you must first
understand what intrigues you, what purposes drive you, and what
creative ways you can interpret these messages to your audience. In my
current research and exploration in my adult life, I am striving to discover
answers to these questions and am finding new ways of incorporating
them into my works.
To see a full portfolio of my life artworks, visit
www.sarahwsparksartist.weebly.com.
References:
Duncum, P. (1986). Breaking down the alleged “U” curve of artistic
development. Visual Arts Research, 12(1), pp. 43-54.
Feldman, D. H. (1985). The concept of nonuniversal developmental
domains: Implications for artistic development. Visual Arts Research,
11(1), pp. 82-89.
2012-‐ “Self-‐Portrait of my Mind,” mixed media paper cut work. In this recent work, I show my continued frustration to allow my true self to fly freely within the constraints of my daily life.
Silverman, L. (1997). The construct of asynchronous development.
Peabody Journal of Education, 72(3/4), pp. 36-58.