Brainstorm Paragraph Organization

transcript

I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and

what it means. What I want and what I fear.

Grammar is a piano I play by ear.

WRITING Joan Didion /novelist & essayist

PART IWhat To Write?

Getting Your Brain In GearHow To BeginWhat To SayHow To Say it

Problems that plague all writers

• Frustration is high at the beginning of the process• Task is seemingly daunting

• TECHNIQUES TO GET OVER THOSE EARLY HURDLES

• Brainstorming• Mental self-inventory

• Listing

DEER-IN- THE-HEADLIGHTS

It’s wise to think & plan before beginning to write.

SUGGEST IONS• Know Your Audience• Writing Style• Narrow Down The Topic / Focus Your

Thoughts• Too Early To Pinpoint Point Of View

PRELIMS

It’s wise to think & plan before beginning to write.

• Time Limit • Jot Down Ideas / No Editing, Polishing

Whatever Comes To You (Words / Phrases / Questions)

• Activate Your Energy• Evaluate Ideas / Cross Out Unworkable Ones

• Add Any Related Or Additional Ones • Choose Topic From Ideas

• Further Brainstorming To Refine Topic / Reveal Point Of View

BRAINSTORMING

• Personal brainstorming can include questions as well as more fully formed ideas about a topic.

• The questions are often most useful in a personal brainstorm; they trigger ideas for specific topics.

• There are no rights or wrongs in brainstorming. • The intent of the exercise is to get your mind in

gear & working.

1. Big issue in politics—is it Democrats or Republicans who will fix it more?

2. Future generations will suffer. How fast is it happening?3. Polar bears are dying out because of ice caps melting4. What about other animals? Seals, sharks, dolphins?5. Fumes from cars are causing earth to heat up6. Factories—are they the cause of it? What about little

countries like Peru?

BRAINSTORMING / Global Warming

7. How much is due to China being so important nowadays?8. Last summer was hottest summer we've had—even my uncle's corn crop got ruined9. Atmosphere has a hole in it. (I don't really know what this means)10. My dad's complaint about his fishing being affected . . . no more salmon in the river11. Define global anyway. What does it really mean? Is the weather only world feature changing? Is the soil drying up? What about the oceans?

Effects Of Global Warming On Polar Bears

• Take 5 min. & do a personal brainstorm for an essay on a topic from one of your classes or the news.

• After you have completed your brainstorm, write out the topic, its audience, point of view, and style for your imagined essay.

BRAINSTORMING Practice

WRITING PART II

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

Wm. Strunk Jr. 1869 - 1946

Getting Off To A Good Start - 1st ¶

So let's begin.

Ready? We’ll start writing our 1st ¶. That’s just the beginning of the 1st draft of our text.

Starting The First Draft• All writing begins with a 1st draft. • To draft means to write first & subsequent versions of

what will become your finished writing. • Drafting followed by revising should be your practice.• Rare is the writer who can produce a polished finished

piece of writing in the first draft.

Why bother? What’s the purpose?

• PURPOSE of the 1st draft, of which the 1st ¶ is the beginning, is to get your ideas down on paper so that you can go back & revise, expand, & polish them up into a finished essay. • Think of the rough draft as a framework

/simplified structure built out of the ideas you developed during your planning and outlining work.

The First Draft

IDEAS must be ORGANIZED

¶s are the BUILDING BLOCKS

Paragraphs - role• support the essay’s thesis

statement • provide additional ideas that

contribute to the thesis statement

• indicate shifts in subject matter, time

• provide rest for the reader's eyes, a chance to breathe

COMING UP

• Be sure to vary the length of your paragraphs. • A series of very short paragraphs feels choppy

/disconnected; it indicates a poorly developed thesis.

• Extremely long paragraphs make reading difficult—they seem to take the reader's breath away.

• Used carefully, one-sentence paragraphs can make a dramatic impact, but DO NOT overuse this strategy.

Very engaging.Grab the reader's attention and keep it throughout.

The Importance Of The 1st ¶

ESSAY STRUCTUREGenerally - INTRODUCTION, BODY, AND CONCLUSIONUsually the thesis statement’s in the 1st ¶ (not a strict rule) The 1st ¶ can set the scene / introduce the problem What's much more important than stating the thesis in the 1st ¶ is making sure that it’s lively & grabs the reader's attention.

Writing the 1st ¶

In trouble?Skip the 1st ¶.Start with the 2nd & 3rd ¶s.Once warmed up & clipping along, go back & write the 1st ¶ in your 2nd draft.

What makes a GOOD paragraph• It has a topic sentence

presenting the ¶’s main idea. • Doesn’t necessarily come at the

beginning of the ¶.• Like the essay's thesis

statement, the topic sentence can appear at the end of a ¶, as a kind of punctuation mark.

That’s a good question!

What makes a GOOD paragraphUNIFIED—All of the sentences in a single ¶ should be related to a single controlling idea (usu. in the topic sentence of the ¶).CLEARLY RELATED TO THE THESIS—The sentences should all refer to the central idea, or thesis, of the paper COHERENT—The sentences should be arranged in a logical manner and should follow a definite plan for development WELL-DEVELOPED—Every idea discussed in the ¶ should be adequately explained and supported through evidence and details that work together to explain the ¶’s controlling idea

Each Paragraph Must Have:

1. A topic sentence2. Development of the topic3. Logical flow throughout

HOW TO BE STRONG∧A

∧PARAGRAPH

3 Steps

Step 1 Write a Good

Topic Sentence

A topic sentence needs to hook readers.Must be strong / significant. It doesn’t simply hint at or take dainty steps around the topic.

• Be Coherent• Develop the idea

Support the Topic Sentence

Step 2

ELEMENTS: details, adjectives logical time-sequence connections, sentence connectors, examples

SMOOTH & LOGICAL flow within paragraphsEACH SENTENCE connects to the one before & after it

Step 3

Let’s look at an essay

In Pursuit Of Thinness¶1 Throughout history and through a cross-section of cultures, women have transformed their appearance to conform to a beauty ideal. Ancient Chinese aristocrats bound their feet as a show of femininity; American and European women in the 1800s cinched in their waists so tightly, some suffered internal damage; in some African cultures women continue to wear plates in their lower lips, continually stretching the skin to receive plates of larger size.

¶2 The North American ideal of beauty has continually focused on women's bodies: the tiny waist of the Victorian period, the boyish figure in vogue during the flapper era, and the voluptuous curves that were the measure of beauty between the 1930s and 1950s. Current standards emphasize a toned, slender look, one that exudes fitness, youth, and health. According to psychologist Eva Szekely, "Having to be attractive at this time . . . means unequivocally having to be thin. In North America today, thinness is a precondition for being perceived by others and oneself as healthy.” However, this relentless pursuit of thinness is not just an example of women trying to look their best, it is also a struggle for control, acceptance and success.

Last¶

Perhaps a woman's ability to control her own body size and weight can be seen as a metaphor, a substitution for control that may be lacking in other areas of her life. While women continue to struggle for equality on an economic scale and within their relationships, they still maintain control over their own bodies. It is important that women begin to accept themselves for who they are, regardless of their body type, and to feel comfortable with the body they live in. If women continue to pursue the "elusive, eternally youthful body beautiful” they'll only be setting themselves up for failure.

Complete Essay In the APPENDIX

Could we see more

about organizin

g paragrap

Organizing ¶s – Another Angle

There are many different ways to organize a ¶. Which you choose depends on the ¶’s controlling idea.

Let’s look

at a few

1. NARRATION: Tell a story chronologically.2. DESCRIPTION: Give specific details / what s.t.

looks, smells, tastes, sounds, or feels like. Organize spatially, in order of appearance, or by topic.

3. PROCESS: Explain how something works, step by step.

4. CLASSIFICATION: Separate into groups or explain the various parts of a topic.

5. ILLUSTRATION: Give examples & and explain how they prove your point.

5-step ¶ Writing / Organiziation1. Decide on a controlling idea & create a topic

sentence2. Explain the controlling idea3. Give an example/s 4. Explain the example/s5. Complete the ¶’s idea /transition into the

next ¶

5-STEP PROCESS TO BUILDING A ¶Using IllustrationEach step includes an explanation of the step & a bit of “model” text to illustrate how it works.

The finished model paragraph will be about slave spirituals, the original songs that African Americans created during slavery.

1. Decide on a controlling idea & create a topic sentence¶ development begins with creating the controlling idea.

This idea directs the ¶‘s development. The

controlling idea is often the topic sentence.

May need more than 1 sentence for a ¶‘s

controlling idea.

1. Decide on controlling idea / create a topic sentenceThe controlling idea for our “model ¶,” in a topic sentence:

Slave spirituals often had hidden double meanings.

That’s the controlling idea

& topic sentence!

2. Explain the controlling idea • FURTHER DEVELOP ¶ using

reasons/explanation for how info in topic sentence is to be interpreted

• EXPLAIN thoughts about the main topic, idea or focus of the ¶

On one level, spirituals referenced heaven, Jesus, and the soul; but on another level, the

songs spoke about slave resistance.

2. This sentence would follow the controlling idea about slave spirituals:

This is the rationale or explanation of how the topic sentence info is to be interpreted.

3. Give an example/s Further develop ¶ by using some type of support / evidence for the idea & the explanation that came before it.

The example serves as a sign or representation of the relationship established in the idea & explanation portions of the ¶.

3. Give an example/s

Here’s 1 of 2 examples to illustrate the double meanings in slave spirituals:

A) For example, according to Frederick Douglass, the song “O Canaan, Sweet Canaan” spoke of slaves’ longing for heaven, but it also expressed their desire to escape to the North. Careful listeners heard this second meaning in the following lyrics: “I don’t expect to stay / Much longer here. / Run to Jesus, shun the danger. / I don’t expect to stay.”

3. Give an example/s

Here’s the 2nd example illustrating the double meanings in slave spirituals:

B) Slaves even used songs like “Steal Away to Jesus (at midnight)” to announce to other slaves the time and place of secret, forbidden meetings.

FURTHER ¶ DEVELOPMENT

Next is an explanation of each example & its relevance to the topic sentence & rationale

(stated at the beginning of the ¶). It explains why you chose to use this/or these particular examples as evidence to support the major

claim, or focus, in your ¶.

4. Explain the example(s)

4. Explain the example(s)Continue pattern of giving & explaining examples until all points/examples have been made / explained. NONE should be left unexplained. Might be able to explain relationship between the example & the topic sentence in the same sentence which introduced the example. More often, however, you will need to explain that relationship in a separate sentence.

• 4. Look at these explanations for the 2 examples in the slave spirituals ¶:

A) When slaves sang this song, they could have been speaking of their departure from this life and their arrival in heaven; however, they also could have been describing their plans to leave the South and run, not to Jesus, but to the North.

B) [The relationship between example B and the main idea of the paragraph's controlling idea is clear enough without adding another sentence to explain it.]

5. Complete the ¶’s idea/transition into the next ¶

The last step in ¶ development is tying up the ¶’s loose ends &

reminding readers of the relevance of the info in this ¶ to

the main or controlling idea of the paper.

Might, however, simply transition into the next

development in the next paragraph.

5. Complete the ¶’s idea/transition into the next ¶

Here’s an example of a sentence that completes the slave spirituals paragraph:

What whites heard as merely spiritual songs, slaves discerned

as detailed messages. The hidden meanings in spirituals allowed slaves to sing what

they could not say.

This sentence completes the paragraph.

REMEMBER STEPS 4 & 5?Giving & Explaining Examples

You see they can be repeated as

often as needed.

The idea is to keep using the pattern till the

main idea of the paragraph is completed.

The key is to use it!

How about reviewing those

steps?

5-step ¶ Writing / Organiziation1. Decide on a controlling idea & create a topic

sentence2. Explain the controlling idea3. Give an example/s 4. Explain the example/s5. Complete the ¶’s idea /transition into the

next ¶

Slave spirituals often had hidden double meanings. On one level, spirituals referenced heaven, Jesus, & the soul, but on another level, the songs spoke about slave resistance. For example, according to Frederick Douglass, the song “O Canaan, Sweet Canaan” spoke of slaves’ longing for heaven, but it also expressed their desire to escape to the North. Careful listeners heard this 2nd meaning in the following lyrics: “I don’t expect to stay / Much longer here. / Run to Jesus, shun the danger. / I don’t expect to stay.” When slaves sang this song, they could have been speaking of their departure from this life & their arrival in heaven; however, they also could have been describing their plans to leave the South and run, not to Jesus, but to the North. Slaves even used songs like “Steal Away to Jesus (at midnight)” to announce to other slaves the time & place of secret, forbidden meetings. What whites heard as merely spiritual songs, slaves discerned as detailed messages. The hidden meanings in spirituals allowed slaves to sing what they could not say.

Let’s put theory into practice.Each sample ¶ has a problem.

Identify it and revise the ¶.

Is there a doctor in the house?

DIAGNOSING ¶s

DIAGNOSIS:

DIAGNOSING PARAGRAPHS

No Topic Sentence

Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.

REVISION with TOPIC SENTENCEAlthough most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.

REAL CONTENT¶’s 1st Sentence

¶’s Last Sentence

Explains the ¶’s Topic (Controlling Idea)

Explains how the ¶ relates to the broader argument

Includes all evidence to make the point

Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.

NOTICE how a topic sentence expressing the controlling idea tells readers the point of all the evidence.

Variation of Piranha ¶ / topic sent. not at beginningLet’s start the ¶ with a transition sentence to remind readers what happened in the previous ¶, which was about animals people fear.

After mastering them, try using them in the middle or the end of a ¶ instead of at the beginning.Readers must know the main idea of the ¶ & its relation to the thesis.

TOPIC SENTENCE PLACEMENT

Variation of Piranha ¶ / topic sent. not at beginningLike sharks, snakes, and spiders, pirahnas are widely feared. Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.

DIAGNOSE this ¶

No Topic Sentence

Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. A number of South American groups eat piranhas. They fry or grill the fish and then serve them with coconut milk or tucupi, a sauce made from fermented manioc juices.

DIAGNOSIS: More than 1 controlling idea

No Topic Sentence

DIAGNOSIS: More than 1 controlling idea

No Topic Sentence

REVISE IT

No Topic Sentence

Consider eliminating sentences that relate to 2nd idea, or split the ¶ into 2 or more ¶s, each with only 1main idea.In the last text, the final 2 sentences branch off into a different topic; so, the revised paragraph would eliminate them & conclude with a sentence that reminds the reader of the ¶’s main idea.

REVISION / more than 1 controlling idea

No Topic Sentence

Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, for the most part, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ first instinct is to flee, not attack. Their fear of humans makes sense. Far more piranhas are eaten by people than people are eaten by piranhas. If the fish are well-fed, they won’t bite humans.

REVISION

No Topic Sentence

Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ instinct is to flee, not attack. But a piranha bite is likely when a frightened piranha is lifted out of the water—for example, if it has been caught in a fishing net or when the water level in pools where piranhas are living falls too low. A large number of fish may be trapped in a single pool, & if they are hungry, they may attack anything that enters the water.

DIAGNOSE this ¶

DIAGNOSIS: Lacks Transition…/ REVISE IT

No Topic Sentence

Although most people consider piranhas to be quite dangerous, they are, except in two main situations, entirely harmless. Piranhas rarely feed on large animals; they eat smaller fish and aquatic plants. When confronted with humans, piranhas’ instinct is to flee, not attack. But there are two situations in which a piranha bite is likely. The first is when a frightened piranha is lifted out of the water—for example, if it has been caught in a fishing net. The second is when the water level in pools where piranhas are living falls too low. A large number of fish may be trapped in a single pool, and if they are hungry, they may attack anything that enters the water.

The 1st & the 2nd – Help To Organize

No Topic Sentence

APPENDIXParagraph Samples Using:

1. Narration2. Description3. Process 4. Classification

Additional Material on Transitions

THESIS STATEMENT- There is no thesis at all. / The thesis is too general, or a truism.The thesis is too narrow.ORGANIZATION - No sense of direction, no reason why one paragraph follows another. / Few, or inadequate transitions. / Too many generalizations, & too little support for them. / Weak introduction or conclusion, or one simply repeats the other.GENERAL - Misspelled words. / Careless grammar mistakes.

Common Essay Errors:

• www.education.com/study-help/article/brainstorming-discover/adapted

• www.education.com/study-help/article/paragraph/adapted• writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/paragraphs/adapted• web.uvic.ca/wguide/Pages/SampleEssaysExpos.html• http://web.uvic.ca/wguide/Pages/

EssaysCommonProbs.html adapted

Sources:

Brainstorm Paragraph Organization

Education