Post on 30-May-2018
transcript
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 1/24
CHAPTER 1
My life changed drastically at the end of the year leading up to the time when I turned 12.
I am not sure even now, what caused the change to come about. Was it the influence of Mrs.
Taylor, my love of adventure, the tragic episode, or my desire for something better that brought
about the change? Years later I thought about that year and wondered if one event had been
added or another event subtracted, would the outcome have been the same.
I was born and raised in Piney Woods, Tennessee. That is about 20 miles northeast of
Chattanooga, Tennessee. It is a small town, just a way stop for most people, with a population of
about 1500 in 1955. There were just about as many colored people as white people back then.
Colored people and white people did not congregate together. We didn't see each other that
much, each group sort of kept to themselves. We had our stores, businesses and schools, and
they had theirs on their side of town and we had ours on our side of town. There was not much
difference in the look of our respective neighborhoods and business. City hall and other city
government buildings were in the neutral part of town. The colored section was actually closer
to the outskirts of town. I thought it was nicer, because we had more open fields and trees and
places to picnic and play .
The only time any of us went to the white section of town was to work in one of their
houses. For instance, my mama worked for Miss Anne three days a week for a dollar a day, plus
we got all the left over’s and hand me downs she could get and bring home . It was surprising,
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 2/24
though that Miss Anne’s house was not even as nice as our house. I went to work with my
mama one time when she was working a half day. I think she wanted me to keep Miss Anne’s
little girl, Sue, company while she worked. The little girl was really active and always getting
into something, so I could see why my mama wanted me to keep her out of the way.
Their house was smaller than ours, so there was not much for my mama to clean , mostly
she did the washing, which always took a while . This girl did not even have any decent toys to
play with, and she did not have any kind of imagination even to take the place of toys. At home
we could take a stick and make a toy and game that would keep us busy for hours. But this girl
did not have toys or imagination; she just whined all the time that I was there. After about a hour
of doing nothing, mama said for me take the child to the store, get her something sweet to eat,
and some starch for my mama’s washing. We started off down the street; the store was only
about two blocks away, two blocks in a white neighborhood, a poor white neighborhood.
We had not walked the first block when a car load of white boys passed us hooting and
hollering. I did not pay them any mind, I just held the little girls hand , and kept walking. On the
way back from the store, that same car load of boys passed us again , only this time I heard one
of them call out the ‘n___ ‘ word . That made me stop, because I think they were talking about
me. If I thought I was mistaken, several of them began to chant – ‘n---, n---,’ over and over. I
felt wounded, dirty, and hurt . I looked at this little girl who I had been caring for all morning.
She understood what they were saying about me, and she was laughing. She thought it was
funny. When we got back to her house, mama soon put the child down for a nap, she was only a
year younger than me, 10 years old , but my mama told me to call her Miss Susan . I told my
mama about what happened, that some white boys called me ‘n---‘. Mama did not say anything
at first, I just watched for her to say something. I don’t know what I expected her to say, but all
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 3/24
she finally said was, ‘girl white boys are like that, don’t let them upset you, this is not the first
time you have been called this, and it will not be the last.” And she went on with the laundry,
putting clothes into the wringer washing machine.
I will never forget that time, not just because of those boys, but because my mama did not
seem to understand that it hurt, and she did not show me a way of dealing with it, or comfort me
in any way .
My Daddy, he worked in Chattanooga at a chemical plant, plus he delivered newspapers
before he left for work each morning. There weren’t many jobs for a colored man in PineyWoods
Tennessee in 1955, at least not enough to make a living at and take care of a family. He did
whatever he could to pay for our new house on Lee Avenue. He was a tall man, over 6 feet, and
slim and medium brown skinned . He was also a proud man. He always walked with his head
up, and his shoulders back . He told me once that he was trained to walk proud this way when he
worked as a bell hop at a white hotel in Chattanooga when he was a young man . He said that
the head bell hop , or captain, was a man who had been in the army, and he trained his charges
the same way he had been trained in the army .
My daddy also was the colored union president on his job. From the little that I could
hear one night he almost got into trouble , well he did get into trouble , with his white bosses
because he tried to help one of the colored workers who had gotten blinded by some chemicals in
an on the job accident . This man had eight children, and now no way to take care of them and
his wife . Daddy said this man was working by himself one day while everyone else was at
lunch, he was mixing chemicals to make bleach . He was up on some scaffolding , pouring in
the chemicals into a big vat, when some splashed in his eyes . Daddy had gone to check on him
when someone said what he was doing . He said as he got near him he heard screaming, and ran
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 4/24
to where the man was . The man was holding his eyes . Daddy pulled his hands away and his
pupils were milky white.
My daddy believed in what was right, and he would speak his mind to whom ever, white
or colored. He explained to this man afterwards that he could get disability benefits and a check
every month. The company had only paid for his hospital bills and sent him home. Daddy said
that after this incident his white boss called him into the office and asked him why he helped that
colored man get disability.
“I told him because it was the right thing to do, and he has a family to support,” my
daddy told his white boss, “and he had a right to know about his rights.”
“Yeah, but he would not have known about his rights, unless you had told him,” his boss
replied angrily.
From then on, my daddy said his boss was watching him. He said they would have fired
him then and there, but he was a good worker. But he was warned that he better not mess up
because they were watching him, and they would not hesitate firing him if they had any cause.
But my daddy said that in spite of his beliefs and actions they probably admired him in a way.
Everyone in our house was also a little afraid of my daddy. He seemed to always be
angry or impatient with us children, and even my mama. We had to be quiet when he was
around. My mama had to be careful what she said around him too. He never hit my mama, but
words often hit harder than fists. He treated her at times as if she didn’t have as much sense as
we did. I hated to hear their arguments. My father would be accusing, and my mother would be
trying to placate him and keep him quiet. But my daddy never hit my mama, he hit us, especially
me, instead. Many colored parents were like that, hard on their children, abusive even. They
wanted to protect us. Even considering my daddy’s example at work, they didn’t want us acting
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 5/24
out and getting into trouble with white people. I don’t think they wanted us to be to egotistical
either, or think too much of ourselves and get the attention of white folks. I learned early about
not being too proud or trying to stand out. I felt at times that they wanted to break my spirit, in
order to keep others from doing so .
Our parents were also not the type to hug a lot, or give kisses, or say ‘I love you’. I do
not remember my parents ever saying those words, to each other or to us. But they feed us and
housed us, so I guess they did love us in their way.
With my parents gone so much working, it was left to me, the oldest, to take care of my
two younger sisters and two brothers and keep the house clean. It wasn't so bad. In the summer
time when my mama was at work, we'd clean up the house, or I would clean and supervise the
others. Then everyone went outside so the house would stay clean until my mama got home.
At the beginning of summer, with school finally out we would begin to plan our free time
. Like magic at the beginning of June it would finally be warm enough to go barefoot and wear
the least amount of clothes because Tennessee was so hot and humid. Usually all we wore were
shorts every day but Sundays . We looked forward to those times. I felt so free. No school, no
shoes, and few clothes . What could be better? But this year turned out to be different. As we
prepared to go outside, my brother Henry and I, my mother called me back inside and told Henry
to go on . She pointed me to the bedroom. I followed her in, and she told me that I could not
play anymore without a shirt on . My daddy had directed her, she said, to tell me to stop running
around without a shirt. I was too big. She picked up a t-shirt off the bed and told me to put it on,
and she left the room . But why did I have to wear a shirt and not Henry? I was a little taller
than him, but not much. I could not understand why this summer attire was different, but as
usual I did as I was told.
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 6/24
When I got outside that day, I watched Henry for awhile as he picked up the string off the
steps that we would need for the June bugs that we loved to catch. It was a perfect day . Hot, but
not too hot or humid. There was not a cloud in that blue sky. It felt so good to be barefoot . I just
wished I was like Henry , and did not have on this confining t-shirt .
“Come on BJ,” he cried , “I just saw some June bugs across the yard, hurry up . ”
He raced across the yard, turning once , looking to see if I were following . It was a
large , long yard , with our house on one end and a hedge across the street side. There were two
big oak trees to the side mid way across . I began to run across the yard and I soon forgot
everything but trying to catch June bugs . In June we would look for June bugs , and in July
after July 4th , it was July flies . There was a special activity that marked each season ,
sometimes each month of the year .
It took us awhile to catch just one June bug . It was probably too early for them to be
out . But once we caught that one we would quickly tie the string around one of its legs , let out
the string , and it would fly and buzz around our heads , like a kite .
July flies were bigger and harder to catch . We would tie the string around their whole
body . It seemed sorta like they fought us more in catching em too . But after July 4 , which is
when we got our first official summer outfits , it was July flies during the day time and
lightening bugs in the evening .
I remember another incident later that month of June , it was when my mama was gone
and we had all cleaned up the house . Each person had a job to do , even the youngest Jeanette at
3 helped Lynn 8 dust . l , dust . Then there was David 6 who took out the trash , trash , and
Jerry , who was 10 , and me we swept and moped the linoleum floors through out the house, plus
I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom . We usually did all of our work then we would go outside
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 7/24
and play . We could not go anywhere and we could not have company while our parents were
gone , but we had fun anyways and always found something to do .
Anyways, this one time we had finished cleaning up and were outside building a go-cart.
It was another beautiful June day. Although I do not think we even noticed the weather yt . We
were just glad it was not raining . Me and Henry had found some wood out back, and we took
the wheels off of our old red wagon . The little kids were watching us, but we did not want their
help, they were mostly just playing in the dirt with play dishes pretending they had food, they
were really silly little kids sometimes . They were fine , we thought they might get hurt or get in
the way trying to help us . We were working so hard that I did not notice when David and
Jeanette had slipped away. It was about time for my mama to get home .
“Hey ya'll where are David and Jeanette,” I asked Lynn and Henry .
“I do not know, they were here just a minute ago,” Lynn answered. She usually helped
me some with the little kids. Henry just kept working on our go-cart. He was having trouble
putting the back wheels on . We could have just fixed up the red wagon , but making a go cart
seemed like a better idea , it was more fun too k , .
I had just started walking across the front yard on my way to the house , when the kids
saw mama walking down the street from the bus stop .
“Mama, mama,” they all cried as they ran toward her.
“What you bring us mama,” Henry asked . He was mama's favorite . He reached for one
of her bags , which were usually filled with give aways from the white folks . Sometimes it
would be like half of a left over cake or pie that was just a ‘little’ bit stale . Sometimes there
were old clothes that my mama's white family had outgrown. It was always interesting to see
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 8/24
what she had in her bags . Although we never kept the clothes , daddy provided for us so we did
not need any used clothes . Mama usually gave them to people in the neighborhood worse of f
than us . I think mama took the stuff so the white people would think they were doing something
, plus she knew she would give it away to someone in need . Henry was the first to grab the big
bag as my mama started toward the house.
“Where's David and Jeanette ,” mama asked , just as I had a few minutes ago.
“I do not know mama ,” I said , “they probably in the house using the bathroom .”
We all walked together into the house , go cart forgotten in the drive way .
“B J,” my mama said over her shoulder , “ get that mess up out of the driveway before
your daddy gets home . ” The rest of them , they all walked into the house together .
” Yes ma ‘m ” , I said and turned back while the rest of them went into the house . Henry
should be helping me , I thought . But this was always the way . I'm the oldest so I was
responsible .
Just as I had put the go cart on the side of the house , Henry came running out looking for
me .
“Woo, B J you in trouble now , ” he said , “mama said come in the house right now , and
she looked mad . ”
He ran quickly back into the house. What did I do now I wondered as I walked up the
steps and into the house .
“B J , why is this house not cleaned up , ” mama asked .
She was in the kitchen with all the other children . There was an opened jar of peanut
butter on the kitchen table , a dirty knife, and several pieces of bread lying around. So this is
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 9/24
what the little ones had been doing.
“Mama I cleaned the kitchen earlier before we went outside,” I pleaded .
“Well it's not clean now,” she stated looking around , with her hands on her hips.
“But mama ...” I began .
“ Girl don't you dare talk back to me , you crazy or something , . ” she asked, “maybe
you think I’m crazy?” she asked . Another question that I knew I was not suppose to answer.
“Talking back to me and this house looking a mess, “ she said to herself.
I saw David and Jeanette over by the back door quietly watching everything.
“Mama it was them two, they snuck back into the house and made this mess ,” I said .
“B J you in charge of keeping the house clean, and making sure it stays clean , ” she
said , “and why did you let those two come back into the house anyways ? ”
I knew I was not suppose to answer that either .
“ Wait till your daddy gets home girl, and we'll see what he thinks about this ,” she
added, “go on and clean this mess up B J, and I mean right now, you hear me ? ”
“ Yes ma ‘m”, I said meekly.
I put the bread back in the bag , closed up the peanut butter jar , and swept the floor again
. Everyone else went with my mama to her room as she unpacked her bags , I could hear them
laughing and talking .
Later when my daddy got home my mama told him how I was not watching the younger
children like I was suppose to , and the house was a mess when she got home .
“Honey, how am I suppose to go to work and not worry about these children, when B J
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 10/24
will not do the simple things that I ask her to do , l “ mama pleaded with daddy .
After dinner my daddy called me into their bedroom, took off his belt and I got a
whipping for not doing what I was supposed to do , keeping the house clean and watching the
little ones .
“ Did not I tell you to keep this house clean , “ whack went the belt. The belt kept
rhythm with his words . I hopped with with each hit . But I had learned not to try to block the
belt , because then it would be worse , or run in any way or avoid the belt in anyway .
I went to bed right after that, without dinner . The younger ones watched me walk to the
room under lowered lids. For the next few days I had several whelps on my legs, raised lines of
skin on my lower legs , only one or two bled a little , but I learned to watch my little brothers and
sisters closely , and keep the house clean until my parents got home , and it was not always easy
to do that either .
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 11/24
CHAPTER 2
Building a fort.
Our favorite past - time - was building a fort or play house in the backyard , in the
summer time . We would play in it when it was finished . We would usually start by using the
no longer used , chicken house . We would add to it found materials . The reason we had the
chicken house in the first place was because our granddaddy would usually give us little baby
chicks at Easter . They were so cute . Soft , little , yellow things. I was usually afraid that I
would hurt them if I picked them up, because they seemed so delicate. My younger brother and
sister nearly choked them to death the first time they were allowed to hold them . But they were
just little kids , babies really. They had to learn how to hold them like we older ones did .
They did not stay cute long , the chicks I mean . I remember how we kept them in the
house for the first few days. We would hear them cheep cheeping all night. Then when it was
determined that they could live outside, it was out to the chicken house, that daddy had
previously fixed up for them .
By the time we got tired of feeding them and cleaning up behind them , my mama
determined they were big enough to eat . She would run around and pick the first chicken , and
tie their legs to the clothes line , take a big kitchen knife , and cut off their heads .
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 12/24
Did the other chickens know what was happening to their sister? Did they watch from
the chicken yard nearby ? It seemed that they got real quiet as this situation was going on . We
would all go into the house and watch from the kitchen window, because the chicken would flail
around for it seemed a long time after my mama cut off their heads , blood flying everywhere .
Once I asked my mama if we could give the chickens back to our granddaddy when they
growed up instead of killing them . My granddaddy kept his own chickens in his backyard .
Granddaddy always had two or three other enterprises going in addition to working as a porter
with the Chattanooga Choo Choo . He was the happiest man I ever knew . I never saw him
angry or impatient with anyone . I loved my granddaddy . But we couldn't give the chickens
back to him , my mamma said .
“He gave them to ya'll to play with and learn how to take care of ,” she said , “you can
not go and give 'me back . ”
We also couldn't tell our granddaddy that my mama killed them , but he had to have
known . Anyway after the last ones were gone , we would wait a few weeks for the chicken
coop to sort of dry out . We weren't heartless , but it was hard to get close to chickens . We
could not pick them up and pet them . They would run to us when we came near , but that was
only because they thought we were going to feed them whenever we came close to the chicken
yard . So anyway , after the last chicken was gone from the chicken coop, then my brother and
sister Lynn and I would start to clean it out and make our fort .
We would look in the vacant lot next door for things to add to our play house . Smashed
up cans would be nailed to the roof . Old newspapers were pasted to the inside walls . Then we
would add wooden planks we found in this abandon house behind us . There use to be white
folks in that house before we moved in , at least that was what we were told , but they had all
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 13/24
moved out. We could not tell our mother what we were doing at that old house , although she
had never thought about telling us to stay out of that house, but we sort of knew she would not
want us playing there.
I remember one time when our cousins was visiting and helping us with our fort . Rina
and her sister , Justine , lived around the block with our great aunt Maggie . This was about
August before school started , and we were fixing up the chicken house in our back yard when
they came down to play . We had lots of wood but not many nails , so we were stacking wood
on the roof in layers to close up gaps , being careful not to let any slip . We had just put the last
boards in place when some started to shift . I told everybody to be still , but Henry started to
move toward the door and safety . Then one by one the boards on the roof started to come
down , some inside and some outside fell to the ground .
“Run,” I cried, moving toward the door, looking to be sure Lynn, Rena and Justine were
coming, Henry was already outside . So much for ‘ladies first ’.
Rena came behind me with Justine . Then all the boards came falling down. I started
laughing; it was so funny , until I noticed Lynn and Rena but not Justine .
“My sister , ” Rena was crying , “ you killed my sister . ”
“Rena is she still inside,” I asked her moving back toward the door of the chicken house.
We started moving boards carefully , throwing them in the yard , looking for Justine .
Finally we saw her under a few boards , lying quietly with her eyes closed . She did look dead .
Rena was still crying , and started rubbing her sister’s head . I wondered if we really had
killed her , now we would really be trouble .
“ You killed my sister , you killed my sister , ” Rena cried over and over again .
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 14/24
What should I do ? My mama was inside the house washing clothes . Should I go and
get her and ask her to call an ambulance or something ?
Just then Justine moved , slowly , and Rena stopped crying. She slowly and carefully
got up ; there wasn’t a scratch on her . I could not figure out if she was never hurt, she was lying
so quietly. Maybe she only wanted to scare us or something , or teach us a lesson about leaving
her . I do not know. Rena helped her up. They started walking away toward the vacant lot, to
their house , not saying a word .
“Wait ya’ll, where you going , ” I asked , “ she’s ok , let ’s finish the house . ”
“No we ’re going home , and we’ re telling our mama you almost killed Justine , ” Rena
said helping her older sister over the ditch dividing our yard from the vacant lot .
We watched them leave , helpless to do or say anything to stop them . Were they
serious? Nothing had happened. But that didn’t stop us from working on our fort that day or any
day in the future. Although Rena and Justine never helped us again.
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 15/24
CHAPTER 3
Working with Mrs. Taylor
I loved to read . My mama said I was like my daddy that way . She use to say that I
would read the back of a tin can if there was not anything else around to read , just like my
daddy. Which was true , but she said it like something was wrong with that .
My mama had another job for me to do , added to taking care of the house and my little
brothers and sisters , helping in the yard , and babysitting for neighbors , she also wanted me to
help our neighbor Mrs. Taylor . I didn’t mind any of it much ; sometimes it was fun to get out of
the house . One of the reasons my mama wanted me to help Mrs. Taylor was because my mama
looked up to Mrs. Taylor , because she was educated and owned her own house .
Mrs. Taylor lived down the street from us and she was a widow. I never knew her
husband; I guess he had been dead a long time by the time I knew her . She use to be a school
teacher , and then she got old and lost some of her sight , and retired . At least that is what the
grown up said. She was my fist grade teacher , and she first taught me to read and love books .
That was back when I went to Trotter elementary school , that was a long time ago, almost five
years.
One day as I was washing dishes after dinner , my mama comes in to the kitchen and
stands and watches me from the doorway . I was afraid I had done something wrong. She did
not say anything at first , and I knew not to say a word yet . Things that I could do wrong
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 16/24
involved talking back and just as bad, talking first. It had something to do with not speaking
unless spoken to, and once spoken to don't get the last word , that's talking back .
“B J you about done in here ? ”
“Yes ma ‘m , I was just going to sweep the floor ,” I replied .
“Be sure you rinse and wring out that dish rag , ” she said as she came in and checked the
counters for crumbs and the faucet for water marks .
“Yes ma ‘m . ”
“B J, Mrs. Taylor just called and she asked about you ,” mama started . “She wants you to
come and help her about three days a week after school , after you finish your chores at home .”
“Really mama, I like Mrs. Taylor ,” I said , “how she doing ?”
“You'll find out tomorrow when you go over there ,” she said , “ I think she just wants a
little help, maybe dusting , taking out trash , and maybe cleaning the kitchen . I told her you do
ok with those simple things , but that she may have to go behind you at first to make sure you do
it right .”
“Yes ma ‘m .”
“And don't go over there doing a whole lot of talking . Plus you know not to tell anything
that happens in this house ,” she added, “Mrs. Taylor is still a smart and educated woman . I
know she don't want to hear a whole lot of chatter from some ignorant little black girl, you hear
me ?”
“Yes ma ‘m,” I replied.
My mama really respected teachers and anyone who had been to college . My father’s
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 17/24
three sisters had also completed college , although my daddy had never gone to college, but he
was really smart . My daddy said he quit high school when he was in the eleventh grade
because he did not have any clothes, and I guess the other students made fun of him. I tell you
he was a proud man even then. That’s when he went to work at that hotel .
My daddy’s youngest sister had just finished college the year before, and she was
teaching at the junior high school where I would be going next year . It was all the way across
town, but it was the only colored junior and high school in town . I was n’t sure yet how I
would get there , maybe ride in with my aunt , who lived with my grandparents down the street
from us . I hoped I would also have her for one of my teachers. Aunt Florence was my favorite
aunt . She was young and pretty and took a special interest in me , not many people in my
family did . She would give me her old finger nail polish and toiletries, and I could go through
her closet at the change of the seasons, to pick out anything I wanted, that fitted me.
My mama never got a chance to even complete high school, because she wanted to go out
and work and support herself, rather than to continue being dependent on her uncle who raised
her until she was sixteen. Her parents had died when she was real young. She said that she and
her younger brothers and sisters went from pillar to post until she married my daddy and could
take some of them in. My mothers youngest sister actually lived with us till was in second grade.
That was Ethel. We did not call her ‘aunt’ because she was not that much older than me. We
even went to the same school for awhile. She was about 11 years older than me, the same age as
my daddy’s youngest sister.
After my mama left the kitchen, I had to smile to myself because I was so happy to have
a chance to do something different. Plus I liked Mrs. Taylor and I had never been inside her
house.
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 18/24
I left the kitchen turning out the light . Walking into the living room, I noticed that the
two little ones were already in bed, it was after 8 o'clock . The other two were watching boxing
on TV. with my daddy . I guessed my mama was in her room folding clothes, she had washed
clothes earlier that day . She put the clothes through the wringer in the old washing machine ,
starching those clothes that needed it , and then hanging everything on the clothes line outside. It
was an all day job . I was learning how to help her with the washing and ironing . We ironed
everything, even pillow cases and handkerchiefs . My mama’s first job was in a laundry, and I
think she still liked doing that sort of thing . The clothes did smell good when we took them off
the line, and ironed them though .
“Who is winning ,” I asked . I wished there was someone I could tell about how I was
going to help Mrs. Taylor. I was excited , but also a little nervous .
No one said anything, brother was playing with his toy solders and Lynn was combing
her dolls hair . I sat down on the floor with the other two and tried not to watch the boxing . I
hated watching them hit each other , all the blood and the cheering crowd . People yelling ‘hit
him again’ . But there was nothing else to do before going to bed . I didn't have anything to read
, plus my parents didn't like for us to turn on too many lights in the house at a time . So I sat and
tried to turn from the little black and white T V and offered my little sister advice on her dolls
hair . My daddy didn't say anything , but he would grunt with satisfaction whenever one of the
boxers landed a good blow .
The next day after school I rushed home , Henry and Lynn in tow , checked with my
mama before being allowed to go to Mrs. Taylor's house . I was still excited . My mama told
me to change into my work clothes because she did n't know what I would be doing , but I
needed to be prepared .
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 19/24
I was finally able to leave , and left amid cries from the little ones . They always wanted
to go wherever I went . I gave them all a hug and told them I would bring them something back ,
like mama did when she went off to work .
“B J you do a good job you hear me ,” mama warned , “ don't go embarrassing me by
talking too much or not doing a complete job either in whatever she asks you to do . ”
“Yes ma ’m,” I replied .
I waited a second to see if there was anything else she wanted to say , but she had turned
her back , so I grabbed my coat, and then rushed out the door waving to the little ones who
watched me cross the yard from the big picture window in the living room . It was only about
three thirty; we got out of school at three , so it was not cold yet. This was in September right
after school started .
Nearly running down the street, it didn't take me long to get to Mrs. Taylor's house . I
tried to slow down and catch my breath . I didn't want to be all sweaty when I got there . Her
house was nice and neat . It was a white clapboard house with black fixed shutters . Her yard
was very neat , no fallen leaves on the freshly cut grass. Some of the boys in the neighborhood
would come by every week and cut her grass and trim the hedges . Plus Mr. Ray-ray , who was
like the neighborhood handyman , did some work in keeping up her house . I knew all about
Mrs. Taylor , I had just never been inside her house .
I did not want her to see me standing outside staring up at her house, so I walked up the
path to the front door , and mounted the steps . I knocked on the black painted wooden door .
There was no answer . I waited and knocked again . I heard foot steps coming toward the door .
The door opened slowly , and there was Mrs. Taylor . She looked different than when she was
my teacher . She had on sun glasses in the house for one thing , and she was wearing an old
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 20/24
house coat . Mrs. Taylor use to wear these fancy, pretty dresses when she was my teacher .
“Well come on in , I do not want the neighbors knowing all my business ,” she said
pleasantly .
“Yes ma ’m ,” I said crossing the threshold , sidling past her as she closed the door
behind me .
“Come on in to the living room ,” she said as she closed the door. She did not look at me
or smile or anything.
I followed her down the hall from the front door to a door to the right , which turned out
to be the living room . She was having a hard time walking ; one hand was out toward the wall
as if she were afraid she would fall and she needed a way to balance herself . I did not remember
her being all that old , maybe a little bit older than my mama , but she walked like she was older
than my grandmamma . I use to love Mrs. Taylor , she loved to teach and see children learn . I
did not like to see her old and not teaching anymore .
As I looked around the living room , I did not see where she needed any cleaning and
straightening up done in here . Everything was neat and clean , no dust or anything . There was a
large upholstered couch , several chairs and little end tables all around.
The next thing I noticed was all the books. Every wall had bookcases filled with books.
I forgot about Mrs. Taylor as I walked around trying to take it all in. There were more books
here than in the whole school library.
“You still like books,” Mrs. Taylor stated as she watched me looking at the books that
had my attention.
“Yes ma ’m, I love books more than anything ,” I asserted, “except Jesus, and sometimes
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 21/24
my little brothers and sisters, I love them too .”
“What about your mama and daddy?” Mrs. Taylor asked, “you love them too don’t you?”
I turned back to the books. I hardly heard Mrs. Taylor. I loved the look, smell, feel and
colors of books. Once I started reading I forgot where I was, or who I was . Wow , how lucky to
be able to read all these books whenever you wanted , I thought .
“Yes ma ‘m, of course I love my mama and daddy, but I think I disappoint them a lot . I
don't know how to please them most of the time .” I reached my hand out as if to touch the
books, but was afraid of actually touching them .
“Come on over here BJ and let's talk .”
I turned and followed her to the couch. She waved for me to sit down next to her . She
looked at me for a long time. I didn't know what she was looking for or what she expected from
me either. Did I do or say something wrong already? Mama said not to talk too much . I did not
want to get in trouble so early , with Mrs. Taylor or Mama if she heard about it .
“What can I do for you Mrs. Taylor,” I asked anxiously, “You want me to clean the
kitchen , or dust?”
“No B J, I got Mrs. Adrian, Mr. Ray-ray's wife, to come in every day for a few hours to
do for me . I've heard how you help your parents with your little brothers and sisters , and help
other parents with their little children too around the neighborhood . I'm just proud of you B J,
I’m proud of how helpful you have been .”
I didn't know what to say to all that, I just did what I was told.
“Oh,” I said, “so what do you want me to do for you Mrs. Taylor ?”
“Well I love books ,” she started.
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 22/24
“Oh me too,” I said before I could stop myself, I had said that already. I put my fingers
over my mouth to keep from saying anything more .
“That's alright; we both know that you love books . What I want you to do is read to me
for a little while , anything you want . My sight is not as good anymore , and I remember you
were a good reader .”
“Really Mrs. Taylor,” I said, “Yes, yes, I would like to read anytime and any books you
say .”
I couldn't believe it; I thought I must be dreaming . Read for an hour anything I wanted
to read . But then I thought about my mama , she might not want me to waste time reading when
I could be helping her at home . Mrs. Taylor must have seen my face fall .
“Of course, I'll also want you to maybe dust a little in here , and help me with some hard
reading for a book that I'm writing . Do you think you can do that B J? I'll straighten it out with
your mother, I’ll pay you , and let her know what a big help it would be for me .”
“Yes ma ’m if you explain I'm sure my mama will understand .”
“Ok, let's get started . Why don't you go and pick a book from that section near the
window, choose anything you want .”
“Yes ma ’m,” I said. I got up and went to the shelf she showed me. There were so many
books here, but what caught my eye was a book called, Little Women. I picked it up and walked
back toward the couch .
“Sit in that chair over there B J and turn on the light, you can see better.”
“Yes ma ’m,” I said and sat down where she indicated .
I began to read and got so caught up in the story of a girl and her sisters who lived a
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 23/24
hundred years ago that I forgot the time and forgot Mrs. Taylor .
“Ok, B J I think that's enough for today .” Mrs. Taylor had taken her glasses off and was
sitting back on the couch relaxed .
I stopped reading and noticed that it was nearly dark outside . It must be after five
o’clock. I had been here over a hour.
“You did a good job, B J, but you had better get on home now before it gets too late.
Please come back the day after tomorrow . I'll call your mother and tell her what a good job you
are doing .”
“Thank you Mrs. Taylor ,” I said as I looked for my coat and prepared to leave .
“Why don't you take that book with you and bring it when you come back .”
“Really Mrs. Taylor, but I'm afraid one of the little ones might get it and mess it up ,” I
said disappointed because more than anything I wanted to see what else Jo would get into . I
didn't want to wait two days , but I believed it was a big responsibility to take it home .
“Go ahead and take it I know you'll take care of it ,” Mrs. Taylor said .
I wanted to run and give her a hug and thank her for trusting me , but Mrs. Taylor looked
too refined for this ignorant black girl rushing her . So I just thanked her and walked toward the
front door .
“See you day after tomorrow,” Mrs. Taylor said as she followed me to the door .
“Yes ma’m,” I said as I reached the door, “and thank you Mrs. Taylor for trusting me .”
“Go on B J, I'll call your mother tonight ,” she whispered as I walked out the door .
I rushed home with the book under my coat . When I arrived at the house the door was
8/14/2019 Butterfly CHAPTER 1-3
http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/butterfly-chapter-1-3 24/24
locked, which was unusual at this time of day . So I knocked, and after a while my brother,
Henry, came and let me in .
“Why you so late, you gonna get in trouble,” he teased me.
I ran in to my room and put the book under my pillow before taking off my coat. My
mama came in and asked why I was late. I hadn't looked at the time, but I didn't think it was that
late, it wasn't quite dark. Of course I did not say that .
“Mrs. Taylor called,” she said before I could answer, “she said you did a good job, but
she was probably just being nice . Did you do a good job B J ?”
“Yes ma ’m, I did just what Mrs. Taylor asked me to do, and she seemed happy when I
left, and said for me to come back day after tomorrow,” I said looking down because I didn't
want my mama to see the happiness in my eyes.
“Well go wash up, and get ready for dinner, and next time don't be so late,” she said as
she walked out the door .
“Yes ma ’m.”
I rushed to wash up and went into the kitchen where everyone else was eating dinner.
After dinner and after I had washed the dishes, I put on my pajamas and went to my room. The
book was still under my pillow. I took the book to the bathroom, and read a few more pages
before going to bed. This was really a good day. Little did I know then that this was the
beginning of a different life for me.