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COACHING & MENTORINGTOOLKIT
2Coaching & Mentoring Toolkit 2
Content
Introduction1. What are coaching and mentoring? Resource:Keydefinitions Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:Whatarecoachingandmentoring2. Why should I coach and mentor? Resource:Whyshouldyoucoachandmentor? Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:WhyshouldIcoachandmentor?3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials Resource:Takingnotes Yourreadinesstocoachortomentor Activity:Stoptoreflect Resource:Creatingtherightenvironment Activity:Stoptoreflect Resource:Contracting Summary:Howtocoachandmentor:Theessentials4. The What? So what? Now what? Model Resource:TheWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Model Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:TheWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Model5. Genuine listening Resource:Genuinelistening Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:Genuinelistening6. Asking the right questions Resource:QuestionstoaskateachstageoftheWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Model Activity:Stoptoreflect Summary:Askingtherightquestions7. Giving feedback Resource:Effectivefeedback Summary:Givingfeedback
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Introduction
WelcometotheToolkit.Hereyouwillfindanumberofusefuladditionalresourcesthatbuildontheknowledgeyouhavegainedintheonlinecourse.Youcanusetheseresourceswhenplanningandcarryingoutyourowncoachingandmentoringsessions.
Inaddition,thisToolkitcontainsanumberofrelatedofflineactivitiescalledStop to reflect.Thepurposeofthesereflectiveactivitiesistoenhanceyourlearningthroughtheprocessofwritingandthinkingaboutyourownlearningexperiences.
Completingthesereflectiveactivitiescanhelpyoutoknowyourselfbetter,learnfromexperience,makesenseofnewexperiencesandcaptureyour‘sensemaking’inawaythatyoucangobackto.Itwillalsoenhanceyourabilitytolearn how to learn:somethingprofoundlyimportanttocoachesandmentors.
Werecommendthatyouprintoutthisdocumentanduseitalongsidetheonlinecourse.
Ifyou’reunabletoprintthisdocument,werecommendthatyouwritedownyourreflectionsinyourownnotebookwhentheonlinecoursepromptsyoutostopandreflect.
Whateveryourapproach,wewantyoutodrawonyourownexperiencesinrelationtothecontentoftheonlinecourse,soyoucanreflectonyourcoaching/mentoringapproach.
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1. What are coaching and mentoring?
Resource: Key definitions
Topic1oftheonlinecourseexplorescoachingandmentoring–theirsimilarities,howtheydifferandwhentouseeachapproach.Theonlinecoursealsolooksatthewaysinwhichcoachesandmentorsusetheirskillstomanagetheirmeetingswithcoacheesandmentees.
ThischapteroftheToolkitprovidesaquickreferenceguideandareflectiveactivityforyoutotry.
What is coaching?
Coachingisaconversationalpartnershipbetweenacoachandanindividual-acoachee-aimedatinspiringandsupportingthecoacheetoreachtheirpotential. • Itisashort-termintervention,with
regularmeetingsoveraperiodoftime
• Coachingisspecifictotheneedsofthecoacheeandprovidesspaceforthecoacheetothink
• Itisfocusedonthecoacheeidentifyingactionsforthemselves
• Coachingisaformofconversationthathelpstosetchallengesandreachbettergoals,focusonprioritiesandaccomplishmore
• Thecoachandcoacheeareequals,withthecoachmanagingtheprocess,actingasasoundingboardtolistenandaskingquestionstohelpthecoacheetothinkandexploreissuesthatareimportanttothemand/ortheirwork
• Goalsareresults-oriented,behaviouralchanges
What is mentoring?
Amentorwillhaveknowledgeandexperiencethattheycanpassoninordertohelpamenteegrowanddevelopprofessionallyandasaperson.Theywillsometimesfacilitatetheone-to-onelearningprocessinwaysthatarerathersimilartocoaching.Sometimestheymaybemore‘directive’thanatypicalcoach:thismeansthattheymayinstructthepersontheyareworkingwith.
• Thementoractsasacriticalfriendandtrustedadvisoroftenoveranextendedperiodoftime
• Thementormayarrangeforthementeetohavespecificopportunitiesorsponsorthedevelopmentofthementeethroughotherinterventions
• Mentoringprovidesaspaceforthementeetothink
• Thementorhelpstheotherperson(the“mentee”)tobuildtheirconfidencebylearningabouttheirexpertiseandrolerequirements
• Mentorsareseniorormoreexperienced/qualifiedandsomeonewhocanenablespecificopportunities
• Amentormaygiveadviceaspartoftheirrolemorefrequentlythanacoach
• Mentorsaresometimesselectedforthepersonbytheirmanager
• Goalsareprofessionaldevelopmentandmaturity
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1. What are coaching and mentoring?
Activity: Stop to reflect
Giventhesedifferencesandsimilaritiesbetweencoachingandmentoring,recordbelowyourresponsetothefollowingquestions:
Summary
• Coachingisapartnershiptohelpachievespecificgoals–itisashort-termintervention,focusedonactions
• Mentoringisalonger-termrelationshipwherethementorcansharetheirknowledgeandexperienceandthementeecanreflectontheirownpersonaldevelopment
• Bothcoachingandmentoringprovideanopportunityforanalysis,reflection,testingofassumptionsandactionsthatultimatelyenabletheindividualtoachievesuccess• Bothapproachesarewellsuitedtothehumanitariancontext,wherestaffneedtodiscover
theconfidence,self-awareness,communicationanddecision-makingskillstheyneedtobeeffective
• Theactivitiesrequiredforcoachingandmentoringareflexibleenoughtobeeasilyadaptedtothechallenginghumanitariancontext
1. In what situation(s) do you think it would be most helpful to use a mentor or a coach?
2. Who do you know who might benefit from a) coaching or b) mentoring and why (in each case)?
Ithinkthat
Ithinkthat
mightbenefitfromcoachingbecause:
mightbenefitfrommentoringbecause:
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Leadership
• Moreconfidentandeffectiveleadership
• Decisionspeedimprovedatseniorlevels
• Anenvironmentinwhichcareerdevel-opmentissupported
2. Why should I coach and mentor?
Resource: Why should you coach and mentor?
Topic2oftheonlinecourseexploresthevalueofeffectivecoachingandmentoringtotheindividualcoachee/mentee,theorganisationandalsotothecoach/mentor.
InthischapteroftheToolkityouwillfindaresource,whichexplorestheseideasfurther,andarelatedStop to reflectactivity.
Performance
• Thecoachee/mentee’sperformancewillimprove,andsowilltheirteam’s
• Apparentimprovementsinperformancewillboostconfidence
• Greateremergencyexperienceandknowledgeishighlyvalued
• Overallstaffconfidencewillincrease,somorepeoplewillbeabletoserveinemergencyareas
• Lesstimemonitoringandcheckingworkasstafffeelmoreconfident
• Helpscreateanenvironmentthatencouragesgreateraccountability,performanceandproductivity
Motivation
• Coachee/mentee’sabletomakemoredecisionsforthemselves,duetogreaterconfidence
• Theirattitudetowardsself-directedprogresswillimprove
• Overallstaffengagementandprofessionalsatisfactionwillincrease
Behaviour
• Thecoachee/menteewillre-engagewiththeirroleandtheorganisation–resultingin:
> Greaterclarityandperspective > Moreabilitytomanagesituations
themselves > Improvedawarenessof
management/leadershipstyles > Bettermanagementofchallenging
people > Greaterawarenessofcareerop-
tionsandchoices
• Managersaremorelikelytobemorecommittedandmorefocusedontheiractions
• Individualswhohavebeencoachedshouldimproveinspecificareas
• Manager’sabilitytolead,confidence,resilienceandcoachingabilityarealllikelytoimprove
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2. Why should I coach and mentor?
Activity: Stop to reflect
The‘HarvardBusinessReview’sAnswerExchange’tailoredtothehumanitariansector,highlightedthefollowingbenefitsofcoachingandmentoring:
• Soundingboardtodiscusswaystoovercomeperformanceproblemsandinterpersonalconflictswithintheteam
• Strengtheningstaffskillssotheyarelessdependentonseniormanagersforalltheanswers.Theyinturncandelegatemoretaskstothemandfocusonmanagerialresponsibilitiese.g.planning
• Reviewingwithcoachee/menteehowtheyprioritisewhenthereissomuchtodo.Helpsstafftoworkmoresmartly
• Successionplanning:especiallylookingtodevelopnationalstaffintomoreseniorroles
• Improvedretention;manystudieshaveshownthatemployeesaremoreloyalandmotivatedwhentheirmanagerstaketimetohelpthemimprovetheirskills
• Costeffectiveness;coachingcostslessthanformaltrainingandcanbedoneinsituandcanbedonefast.Itisdifficultforstafftotaketimeoutduringhumanitarianassignments.
• Muchlearninginthehumanitariansectorrelatestoapplyingthinkingandskillstoswiftchangingcontexts.Itmakessenseforthistobedoneinsitu.
1. How have you witnessed or experienced any of these benefits as a result of coaching or mentoring support in your organisation?
2. Are there any opportunities you can think of to deliver these individual benefits to some one you work with?
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2. Why should I coach and mentor?
Summary: Why should I coach and mentor?
• Whenpeopleworkwithacoachoramentor,theybuildskillsandknowledgetoenhancetheirperformance
• Theyfeelsupported,encouraged,proudandsatisfiedwhenovercomingnewchallenges.
• Yourorganisationbenefitsthroughbetterstaffretention
• Thereareeconomicbenefits–coachingandmentoringcanhappenonthejobanddonotrequiremoreexpensiveformaltrainingsessions
• Coachingandmentoringhelpstafftobebetterabletomakedecisionsandadapttheirknowledgetoeachnewsituation
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3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials
Resource: Taking notes
Topic3oftheonlinecourseexploresthebasicstepsrequiredtoenableeffectivecoachingandmentoringtotakeplace–fromthinkingaboutyourownpreparedness,tocreatingtherightenvironmentandwhatyouneedtoachievefromeachsession.
InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindsomeusefulresourcestosupportyouatthisstageandtwoStop to reflectactivitiestogetyouthinkingaboutyourownreadinesstocoachormentor.
Top tips
• Sticktothefacts
• Makesuresomebodyelsecouldunderstandyournotesiftheyneededto
• Haveaneasy-to-followformat
• Usebulletpoints
• Recordthedateofthenextmeeting
7 reasons to take accurate notes
• Ithelpsensureyouandtheotherpersonmakeinformeddecisionstogether
• Itenablesyoutorecordtheactionsandreactionsoftheotherperson
• Ithelpsyoutotrackideasandinterventionsused
• Ithelpsyoutoprepareforanyfollow-onmeetingswiththepersonyouarehelping
• Ithelpsyoutoanalyseyourthinkingandreflectonyourdiscussions
• Itencouragesyoutolearnfromexperience
• Ithelpsyoutoreflectuponthestrategiesyou’veused
Remember
Takingnotesdoesn’tneedtobehardwork.
Youjustneedtohaveagoodsystemtouse–liketheWhat? So what? Now what? Model.Itissimplebutcomprehensiveenoughtodealwithallsituations.
What should your notes include?
• Whatwasdiscussed
• Whatworkyourcoacheehascompleted
• Howtheyareprogressingtowardstheirgoals
• Actionstotakebeforethenextmeeting
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3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials
Your readiness to coach or to mentor
Takingnotesandself-awarenessmaynotappeartoberelated.However,asyouhaveseen,takingnotescanhelpyoutobecomemorereflectiveandself-aware.Beingself-awareasacoachormentorhelpsyoutorecognisedifferencesbetweenyourselfandothers,andtolisten,communicateandbuildrapporteffectively. HereisaStop to reflectactivitythatwillhelpyouconsiderhowyouseeyourselfinrelationtoothers.
Activity: Stop to reflect.
Part 1:Takeamomentnowtorecordyourresponsestothefollowingquestions:
> Who am I today?
> Who am I today in relation to my friends and family?
> Who am I today in relation to the rest of the world?
> Who am I today in relation to my job?
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3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials
Part 2: Onceyouhavedonethis,itcanbehelpfultoreflectonyouranswers.Makeanoteofyourresponsestothefollowingquestions:
> Who am I today in relation to my colleagues?
> Who am I today in relation to this organisation?
> What are the differences in my answers to these questions?
> Who am I today in relation to my coachee/mentee?
> Why are there differences in my answers?
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3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials
> Do these differences help to explain why there could be relationships within which I might feel vulnerable? In any contemplated coaching or mentoring relationship might I want or need to protect myself?
Resource: Creating the right environment
The physical environmentYoushouldconsiderthesefourthingsbeforesettingupacoaching/mentoringsession.• Place:Makesureyoumeetsomewhere
youcanbothbecomfortable• Access:Ensurethatthemeetingplaceis
accessibleandmeetsbothofyourneeds• Safety:Usecommonsensetomakesure
yourmeetingplaceisappropriate
• Location:Makethisconvenientforbothofyou,assumingyouaremeetingfacetoface
The emotional environmentAndherearetheemotionalfactorsyoushouldconsider:• Feeling safe:Youneedtocreatea
friendlyatmosphereinwhichyourcoachee/menteecantalktoyouaboutanything
• A confidential space:Whereverpossible,don’trevealinformationthatyourcoachee/menteewouldn’twanttobeshared
• Where you can’t be overheard:Ifyourcoachee/menteecanbeoverheard,theyaremuchlesslikelytospeakfreely
• A neutral place:Askyourcoachee/menteewhereasuitablemeetingplacemightbe
• No distractions:Turnoffyourmobilephone
• Rapport:Useyourrapportwithyourcolleaguetomakethemfeelcomfortableduringthemeeting
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3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials
Activity: Stop to reflect.
Part 1:Takeamomentnowtorecordyourresponsestothefollowingquestions:
In what ways have you helped other people to discover answers to their own questions (or dilemmas) in the past?
• What did you do? • What worked? • Why? • What was less successful? • Why do you think this was less successful?
> Why would some people prefer virtual coaching/mentoring conversations?
> When, in a coaching or mentoring relationship, might a face-to-face conversation be preferable? Why?
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3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials
Resource: Contracting
Settingexpectationsor‘contracting’helpstocreateaneffectivepartnershipbetweencoachandcoachee/mentorandmentee.Awritten‘contract’isn’tessentialbutcanhelptomakesurethatbothpeopleintherelationshiphavethesameexpectations,haveagreedsome‘groundrules’andcangoontobuildasolidfoundationfortheworkthatistocome.
On-going questions
Evenafterthecontractisagreed,youshouldconsiderthefollowingquestionsbeforeandduringeachsession:
What should your coaching/mentoring contract include?
• Desiredoutcomesofsession
• Commitmenttoworkbetweensessions
• Explanationofhowthecoach/mentorworks
• Frequencyandlengthofsessions
• Explanationoftheformat(face-to-face,telephone,Skypeetc.)
• Location(ifface-to-face)
• Agreedexpectationsaroundcancellation/postponement
• Confidentialityagreement
• Whatwouldyouliketofocusoninthismeeting?
• Isourworkingrelationshipmeetingyourneeds?
• Aretherewaysitcanbeimproved?
• What,ifany,changesdoweneedtomaketoourworkingrelationship?
Additional items you may wish to include:
• Howyouandyourcoachee/menteewillmeasureprogress
• Howyouwillrecordmilestones
• Howlongyouwillworktogetherbeforereviewing,extending,orendingthearrangements
• Whenandhowthecoachandcoachee/mentorandmenteewillgiveeachotherfeedback
• Whathappensifthementee/coacheefailstotakeactionsagreeduponatthecoaching/mentoringsession
• Whatwillhappentothenotesyouwrite
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3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials
Thistemplateisastartingpointthatyoucanbuildonsothatyoucreateeffectivepartnerships.Donotsimplyusethetemplatewithoutthinkingcarefullyabouttheaimsofeachpartnershipthatyouwanttobuild.
BASIC COACHING/MENTORING AGREEMENT TEMPLATE
NUMBER OF COACHING/MENTORING SESSIONS: LENGTH OF EACH SESSION:
START DATE: END DATE: LOCATION:
THE ROLE OF THE COACH OR MENTOR
• Identifywhatthecoachee/menteewantstofocusonandwhyitisimportanttothemandthecontexttheyarein
• Createasafe,supportiveenvironmentthatproduceson-goingmutualrespect
• Observe,listenandaskquestionstounderstandtheindividual’ssituation
• Usequestioningtechniquestoprovokethecoachee’s/mentee’sthinking
• Movebetweenbigpictureofthegoalsandthedetailsofthecoachee’s/mentee’sparticularsituation
• Creativelyapplyvarioustoolsandtechniquestomatchtheneedofthecoachee/mentee
• Usefeedbacktoimprovetheinteractionwiththecoachee/mentee
• Supportthecoachee/menteetoestablishappropriatemilestonestoseeprogressinrelationtotheiroverallgoals
• Keeptheindividualaccountableforwhattheysaytheyaregoingtodo,fortheresultsofanintendedaction,orforaspecificplanwithrelatedtimeframes
Communications
1. Followingeachsessionthecoachorthementoremails‘sessionnotes’andactionstocoachee/mentee.2. 48hoursbeforethenextsessionthecoachee/menteeemailscoach/mentorwithanup-dateonprogress.
CONTACT DETAILS:
Coach/Mentor email: Coachee/Mentee email:Coach/Mentor Skype: Coachee/Mentee Skype:LANDLINE NO.: LANDLINE NO.: MOBILE NO.: MOBILE NO.:
ACCEPTANCE OF AGREEMENT TERMS
COACH/MENTOR: COACHEE/MENTEE:SIGNATURE: SIGNATURE:DATE: DATE:
THE ROLE OF THE COACHEE OR MENTEE
• Recognisethecoachingormentoringprocessisaninvestmentinyourdevelopment.
• Communicatehonestlyandopenlywiththecoach/mentoratalltimes.
• Listen,considerandrespondtofeedbackreceived.
• Beopentochallengestoyourthoughts,ideas,workingpractices.
• Committotheprinciplesofcoachingtoaidyourdevelopment.
• Togiveatleast24hoursnoticeifunabletoattendaface-to-faceorvirtualcoachingmeeting.
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3. How to coach and mentor: The essentials
Summary: How to coach and mentor: The essentials
• Beingself-awareasacoachormentorhelpsyoutorecognisedifferencesbetweenyourselfandothers,andtolisten,communicateandbuildrapporteffectively
• ‘Whotocoach/mentor?’meansthinkingaboutwhocanbenefitmostfromthistypeofrelationship
• Youneedtoconsiderwhatenvironmentisbestsuitedtocoachingeachperson.Thismeansconsideringvirtualsessionsaswellasface-to-facemeetings
• Settingexpectationsandagreeinga“contract”atthestartiskeytoestablishingagoodworkingrelationshipwithyourcoachee/menteeandinbuildingfoundationsfortheireffectivedevelopment
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4. The What? So what? Now what? Model
Resource: The What? So what? Now what? Model
Itdoesn’tmatterwhereyouareorwhatyou’retalkingabout-followingthismodelwillhelpyouhaveaproductivecoachingormentoringdiscussion
Topic4oftheonlinecourseexploresamodelthathelpstostructureeachcoachingormentoringsession.
InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindanoverviewofthemodelandaStop to reflect activitytogetyouthinkingaboutwhatmakesaneffectivecoachingormentoringsessionandhowyouwouldrunyourownsessions.
Remember,thepersonyouareworkingwithshoulddecidethepaceandagendaofthemeeting–notyou.Yourgoalineachsessionshouldbetoencouragethemtogiveyoutherightinformationsoyoucansupportthemasbestyoucan.
1. WHAT?
First,identifythefocusofthesession.
> What does the other person want to talk about any why?
> What is their main goal?
Youneedtoencouragethemtodomorethanjustdescribetheirproblem.
Instead,theyshouldworktowardsrecognising their partintheproblem-overcomingtheobstaclesthatmaybepreventingthemfromsolvingit.
Thiswillgivethemarealis-ticideaofhowfartheyarefromachievingtheirgoal.
2. SO WHAT?
Afterthat,youshouldthinkaboutthepossiblenextsteps.
> What are the different ways you could approach this issue?
> Which way would give the best result?
Listeningeffectivelyatthisstagewillencouragecrea-tivesolutions–helpingtheotherpersontofeelthattheycanachievetheirgoal.
3. NOW WHAT?
Thenit’stimetotakestepstoachievetheotherper-son’sgoal.
> What steps can they take to achieve their aim?
Theotherpersonshouldcommittospecific,practi-cal,andachievableactions–it’stheonlywaytheywillmoveclosertotheirgoal.
Thiscommitmentwillempowerthemandincreasethelikelihoodofthemachievingtheirgoal.
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4. The What? So what? Now what? Model
Activity: Stop to reflect.
Thinkaboutthecoachingsessionvideofromthistopic.
Putyourselfintheshoesofthecoach.Writeyourresponsestothefollowingquestions.
> How well does the meeting follow the model you have explored? > How effective was the coaching session and why? > How have the coach and coachee contributed to the success of the session?
> What it is about this session that makes it challenging or demanding?
> How would you respond to the challenge or the demands of working with this person?
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4. The What? So what? Now what? Model
> What am I learning about my preferences and myself, through this process of reflection?
Summary: The What? So what? Now what? Model
• Startingoutasamentororasacoachithelpstohaveastructuredapproachinordertomakeitaseffectiveaspossibleandmeasureprogress
• TheWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Modelisathreestageprocess-itprovidestheheadlinequestionsyouneedtoconsidertogetherateachstage
• TheWhat?stageexploresthepurposeofthesession–thesituationtobeaddressed
• TheSowhat?stageiswhereyoucanevaluatethedifferentoptionstoaddressthegoalyourcoachee/menteehasidentified
• ThemostsuitablestepstorealisethegoalarethenconsideredinthefinalNowwhat?stage
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5. Genuine listening
Topic5oftheonlinecourseexplorestheskillsrequiredforeffective,orgenuine,listeningwhencoachingormentoring.
InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindaresourcethatprovidestoptipsandpracticalsuggestionsfordevelopingyourlisteningskills.ThereisalsoaStop to reflectactivitytohelpyoufocusyourmindandprepareforgenuinelistening,whichyoucanuseinyourowncoachingandmentoringsessions.
Resource: Genuine listening
Tobecomeahighlyeffectivecoachormentor,youneedtomakesureyouattentivelyandgenuinelylistentoyourcoachee/mentee.Thismeanslisteningtothemwellenoughtoreallyunderstandthem–notjustwaitingforanopportunitytorespond.
Ways to cut out internal noise:
• Reduceenvironmentaldistractions
• Ifyouarestressedorarelikelytobedistractedbysomethingelseonyourmind,considerpostponingthesession
• Keepyourgoalsinmind
• Focusonlyonthesubjectofthemeeting
Things to be aware of
Genuinelisteningisnoteasy.Herearesomeofthethingsthatmakeitdifficultthatyouneedtoconsider: • Wecanunderstandspeechratesofup
to800wordsperminute,buttheaveragepersoncanonlyspeakatupto150wordsperminute,soourmindsoftentrytofillinthegaps–don’tletit!
• Ourpersonalinsecurities–perhapsassociatedwithstatusdifference–canhaveanimpactonhowdeeplywelis-tentotheotherperson.Don’tallowyourinsecuritiestobecomeabarrier
• Youmaydisagreewiththepersonyouarehelping.Don’tletthisstopyoufromlisteningtotheirconcern
Top tips
• Don’tjustlistentowhatthecoachee/menteeissaying-considertheirtoneandbodylanguageaswell
• Showthatyouarelistening–changeyourtoneandbodylanguage.Simplegesturesandexpressions,suchas‘uhhuh’canletthemknowyouarelisteningbutwantthemtocontinue
• Repeatexactlywhatyourcoachee/menteesaid,orpickoutkeyphrases–thisprovidesthecoachee/menteewithanopportunitytoclarifythemselves
• Clarifyanythingthatisn’tclear–don’tassumeyouunderstandthem
• Mirrorthecoachee’s/mentee’sbodylanguage(withoutbeingmechanical)andtalkatthesamespeed
• Focusonthecoachee/menteeandcutoutany‘internalnoise’
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5. Genuine listening
Activity: Stop to reflect.
Inordertolisteneffectivelyandreallytuneintotheotherperson,it’simportanttobeabletoputyourselfinthemomentandputasideanydistractingthoughtsthatcometoyourmind.Thisactivityisdesignedtobuildthisessentialdiscipline.
Step 1:
Letyourmindwanderforaminuteandthenmakeanotehereaboutalltheideasthatcomeintoyourheadandcompeteforyourattention.
Outcomes:
Perhapsyouwerethinkingabouthowlongthisactivitywillbe,howeffectiveyouareatlistening,orevenwhat’sforlunch!Howevermanythoughtsyouexperienced,therearesomequickandeasytechniquesyoucanusetoconnectyourselfwithcurrentreality.
Step 2:
Trythisactivitynow.Takethreedeepbreaths.Focusononephysicalrealitythatyoucansee,hear,touchorsmellinyourcurrentlocation.Makeanotehereaboutthethoughtsthatenteryourmindthistime.
> I am thinking about:
> I am thinking about:
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5. Genuine listening
Outcomes:
Noticehowyourawarenesshasshiftedtophysicalsensationsinthepresent.Aswegetbetteratfocusinginthiswaywecalmourmindsandbodiesandbecomemorealertandready.
Summary: Genuine listening
• Listeningisnotthesameashearing–ourthoughts,feelingsandassumptionscangetinthewayofreallylisteningtosomeone-itisimportanttobepresentandinthemomentinordertotuneinproperly–thisisgenuinelistening
• Takingthreebreathscanhelptore-focusyourmindandaideffectivelistening
• Listeninghappensonthreelevels–internallisteningwhereourownthoughtscaninfluenceunderstanding,listeningtounderstandwhatisbeingsaidandfinallydeeplisteningto
understandandinterpretasituation
• Deepandgenuinelisteningisthenreflectedinyourownactions,responsesandquestions
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6. Asking the right questions
Topic6oftheonlinecourseexplorestheskillsofeffectivequestioningforcoachingandmentoring.
InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindaresourcethatprovidespracticalsuggestionsforaskingeffectivequestions,followingthethreestageWhat?Sowhat?Nowwhat?Model.ThereisalsoaStop to reflectactivitytohelpyoupractiseandfurtherdevelopyourownquestioningskills.
Resource: Questions to ask at each stage of the What? So what? Now what? Model
Types of questions Reason for asking questions Impact on learner
What?
Whatdoyouwanttofocuson(inthisconversation)?
Whatmakesthisimportanttoyounow?
Howwillyouknowthatyouhaveachievedwhatyouwant?
Whatishappeninginthissituation?
Whathaveyoudoneaboutit?
Whatismissing?
Whodoesthisimpact?
Howmuchcontroldoyoupersonallyhaveovertheoutcome?
Towhatextentdoothersholdthesameperspectiveorurgencythatyoudo?
Whatactionstepshaveyoutakenonitsofar?
Establishthepurposeoftheconversationandwhyitisimportanttothelearnernow
Explorewherethelearnerideallyandrealisticallycangettobytheendofthesessioninrelationtotheirgoal
Checkinoncurrentreality
Observepatternsandhelpthemtoexplorethewidercontexttheyareapartofand“thebiggerpicture”
Reviewtheirsenseofwhatishappeningagainsthowothersmightperceiveit
Explorethewaythingsarenow,theirability,probingtoestablishwhythingsarethewaytheyare
Movethelearneronfromdescribingtheirproblem,tounderstandingtheirpartinit,theassumptionstheyholdandwhatisblockingchange
Greaterawarenessofselfandtheirimpactonteamsandoverallresults
Identificationofwhatiswithintheircontrolattimesofuncertainty
Whatismostimportantwithintheiragenda
Realisticsenseofthegapbetweenthepresentrealityandtheultimategoal
Greatersenseoflimitationstheyhaveputonthemselvesandthesituation
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6. Asking the right questions
Types of questions Reason for asking questions Impact on learner
So What?
Whatareallthedifferentwaysinwhichyoucouldapproachthisissue?
Makealistofallthealternatives,largeorsmall,completeorpartialsolutions
Whatelsecouldyoudo?
Whatwouldyoudoifyouhadmoretime,alargerbudget,orifyouweretheteamleader?
Whatwouldyoudoifyoucouldstartagainwithacleansheet,withanewteam?
Whatisthemostcourageousthingyoucoulddo?
Whatwouldhappenifyoudidnothing?
Whataretheadvantagesanddisadvantagesofeachoftheseoptionsinturn?
Whichwouldgivethebestresult?
Whichofthesesolutionsappealstoyoumost,orfeelsbesttoyou?
Whichwouldgiveyouthemostsatisfaction?
Helpthemtofindawayoutofbeing‘stuck’
Evaluatewhatwillworkbestinthissituationanditsimpact
Relatebacktotheoriginalgoalandpurposeoftheconversation–howwillitmeetthegoal?
Therearethingsthatcanbedoneinadifficultsituationandwillhelptochangethedynamics
Greaterunderstandingofwhatmakessensetodowithinaparticularcontext
Beinglistenedtohelpstounlockcreativityagain,whichcanbeshutdownunderpressure
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6. Asking the right questions
Types of questions Reason for asking questions Impact on learner
Now What?
Whichoption(s)areyougoingtochoose?
Whenpreciselyareyougoingtostartandfinisheachactionstep?
Whatcouldarisetostopyouintakingthesestepsormeetingthegoal?
Whatlevelofriskareyoupreparedtotake?
Whatpersonalresistancedoyouhave,ifany,totakingthesesteps?
Whatwillyoudotoeliminatetheseexternalandinternalfactors?
Whoneedstoknowwhatyourplansare?
Whatsupportdoyouneedandfromwhom?
Whatwillyoudotoobtainthatsupportandwhen?
WhatcouldIdotosupportyou?
Whatcommitmentona1–10scaledoyouhavetotakingtheseagreedactions?
Whatpreventsthisfrombeinga10,oronelevelupfromyourcurrentposition(ifyouthink10istoogreataleapforyourcoachee)?
Whatcouldyoudooraltertoraiseyourcommitmentcloserto10?
Clarifyagainwhatimmediatestepsareyougoingtotake?
Howandwhencanyoudothis?
Testreadinesstoact
Testcommitmenttotheoutcome
Mostimportantlythefinalstageistogetthecoacheetocommittospecific,practicalandachievableactionsthatwillenablethemtomoveclosertotheirgoal
Energisedtoact
Acknowledgewhoelseneedstobeinvolvedtocreategreaterpossibil-ityofthedesiredresults
Anticipatepossibleobstaclesandtoputcontingencyplansinplace
26Coaching & Mentoring Toolkit 26
Activity: Stop to reflect.
Step 1:
Findacolleaguewhoishappyforyoutopractiseyourdevelopingskillswiththemforacoupleofminutes.Tellhimorherthatyouwouldliketohaveatwo-minuteconversationwiththem.Yourtaskistoaskthequestion:
‘Whatchallengedoyoucurrentlyhaveinyourrole?‘
Afterthat,youcanonlyasktwomorequestionstofindoutasmuchasyoucanaboutitandhowtheymightresolveit.Ifyoufindthisexercisetoodifficult,extendthetime–askthreequestionsinfiveminutesorthreequestionsintenminutes.
Step 2:
Onceyouhavecompletedtheactivity,writeupyourobservationshere.Thinkabout:
• Howdifficultwasittochooseyourquestionsinthemoment?• Whichofyourfollowupquestionsweremosteffectiveandwhy?• Whatwouldyoudodifferentlynexttime?
> My observations:
Summary: Asking the right questions
• Questionsareanessentialpartofeffectivecoachingandmentoring
• Theyenableyoutodeepenyouunderstandingandhelpyourcoachee/menteetoexploretheirdevelopmentneeds
• It’simportanttousetherightkindsofquestions–useopenandprobingquestions,avoidclosedquestionsortoomany‘why’questions
• Thecoachee/menteeownstheprocess-yourlisteningandquestioningistheretofacilitateandenabletheirthoughts,ideasandactions
• Avoidinterrogating,interviewingandgivingadviceandkeepyourquestionsshortandsimple
6. Asking the right questions
Coaching & Mentoring Toolkit27
7. Giving feedback
Topic7oftheonlinecourseexplorestheskillsofgivingfeedback,avitalpartofthecoachingandmentoringrole.
InthischapteroftheToolkityoucanfindaresourcewhichprovidesaquickreferenceguideonprovidingeffectivefeedback.
Resource: Effective feedback
Ifyoudeliverfeedbackappropriately,itcanempoweryourcoachee/menteetomakerealchanges.Itdepends,however,onthefeedbackmeetingthesecriteria.
Basedonobservations
Specific
Factual
Notanalytical
Providednearintimetothebehaviourobserved
Supportive
Relatedtobehaviour
Honest
Feedback meeting structure
1. Provideasummaryofthefeedback
2. Describethebehaviourthathasledtothefeedback
3. Highlighttheconsequencesofthebehaviour
4. Checkforunderstandingandacceptance
5. Supportyourcoachee/menteetocommittodoingthingsdifferently
6. Encouragethemandsupportthemtotakeaction–whichcanbereviewedatalatermeeting
28Coaching & Mentoring Toolkit 28
Summary: Giving feedback
• Effectivefeedbackisakeycontributortoyourcoacheeormentee’sdevelopment/performanceimprovement
• Feedbackshouldbeatwo-wayprocess–receivingfeedbackwillhelpyoudevelopyourcoachingormentoringskillsandyoubevaluableasyouprogress
• Feedbackdoesn’tneedtoalwaysbedonefacetoface–thoughthatisbest.Youcanalsomakeuseofvideoorphonechats.Emailortextchatsaremuchmoredifficulttomanageandshouldbeavoidedwheneverpossible
• Whengivingfeedback,makeitclearandevidencebased–bespecificanddeliveritasyourobservationsratherthanfacts
• Taketimeattheendofeachsessiontodiscusshowitwentandwhattododifferentlynexttime
7. Giving feedback