www.lifeway.com/kids • 1.800.458.2772 • LifeWay Christian Stores

Discipline: Who Needs It?

Jerry Vogel

jerry.vogel@lifeway.com

Let’s play a game…when you hear each of these three words, write down the first word that comes to mind:

God—

Bible—

Discipline—

When you heard the word “God,” what was the first word that came to mind?

When you heard the word “Bible,” what was the first word that came to mind?

When you heard the word “Discipline,” what was the first word that came to mind?

The word discipline has come to mean “to punish” or “to bring under control”. However, discipline originally comes from the Latin word disciplina, which means to instruct or to teach. Therefore, in its best sense, to discipline is to guide or lead by teaching.

Is positive guidance and discipline biblical?

Psalm 94:12-13a

Lord, happy is the man You discipline and teach from Your law to give him relief from troubled times…(Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Proverbs 3:11-12

Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe His discipline; for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father, the son he delights in. (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Proverbs 15:5,31-32

A fool despises his father’s instruction, but a person who heeds correction is sensible. An ear that listens to life-giving rebukes will be at home among the wise. Anyone who ignores instruction despises himself, but whoever listens to correction acquires good sense. (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Hebrews 12:7-11

Endure it as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there whom a father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline—which all receive—then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had natural fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but He does it for our benefit, so that we can share His holiness. No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Before we look today at principles, techniques and steps to take in guiding children, let’s look at how we as “leaders” need to be disciplined:

Know and understand children.Pray for wisdom.Plan ahead.Prepare for each session.Prepare the environment.

Also, let’s look at why children misbehave:

Attention

Power

Revenge

Inadequacy

Furthermore, let’s remember the consequences of misbehaving:

Natural Consequences

These are a direct result of a child’s behavior.

Logical Consequences

These are arranged by a teacher.

Obviously, our ultimate goal in discipline is to develop in each child self-discipline.

Principles in Guiding Children’s Behavior

Establish boundaries.

Work on a child’s feelings about himself or herself. Maintain boundaries consistently.

Use positive, clear suggestions. Give options.

Respect the child as a person. Use praise lavishly and sincerely.

Plan and prepare with the children’s interests in mind. Expect not the impossible.

Listen to a child when he talks. Be a positive role model.

Change the way you are progressing on your plans or shift to another activity if the group is restless. Deal with problems immediately.

Plan for a variety of activities and projects.

Identify the needs of children.

Techniques in Correcting Unacceptable Behavior

Get the child’s attention.

Give only the directive you plan to enforce. Omit idle threats.

Reflect rather than deny the child’s feelings.

Offer options.

Acknowledge your feelings:1. State how the child’s actions made you

feel.2. Remain silent for several seconds.3. Let the child know that you are on his/her

side, and that even though you disliked the child’s behavior, you still like him/her.

4. When you finish the reprimand, it’s over!

Steps to Take in Correcting Unacceptable Behavior

Make the child aware of his need to change in a positive manner.

Remove the child from the group in the presence of the group.

Remove the child from the group away from the presence of the group.

As a next resort, seek the help of an authority figure.

When decided upon, schedule a parent conference. Consider the following guidelines:

-- Never talk in the doorway of the classroom about behavior problems.

-- In telephoning/talking with parents, take full responsibility.

--A good way to state the challenge is, “I love Angela. I am so glad that she is in our class. I want to be a good teacher for her. BUT, I am having trouble knowing what to do when Angela does (such and such). What do you do?”

Remember:

“… I am always with You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with Your counsel…” (Psalm 73:23-24a, Holman Christian Standard Bible)

www.lifeway.com/kids • 1.800.458.2772 • LifeWay Christian Stores

Discipline: Who Needs It?

Jerry Vogel

jerry.vogel@lifeway.com