English 105

Teri Tosspon, Meeting 3

Agenda

• Fragments• Lead-ins/hooks & conclusions• Peer Revision of Description!

Talking in fragments• Many times, when we speak, we use

fragments. – By the context, we can tell what the other

person means. • Doug: Had any test results yet?• Nelida: Nothing statistically significant.• Doug: Not good.• Nelida: Back to step one.

Talking in fragments

• However, when we write (unless we are directly quoting a conversation), we need to formalize the writing.– By the context, we can tell what the other person

means. • Doug: Have you had any test results yet?• Nelida: The results weren’t statistically significant.• Doug: That is not good.• Nelida: We will have to go back to step one.

Complete Sentences

To be complete, a sentence must have• a subject

and• a verb

and• express a completed idea.

Example:

•My homework is taking every waking hour. Complete sentence!

INCLUDES • Subject (My homework)• Verb (is taking)

and•Expresses a complete idea (every waking hour). Sometimes the Object.

Fragment

A Fragment is piece of a sentence can be missing a subject, can be missing a verb, or can fail to express a completed

idea.

Fragments

The architect to my office. No VERB: Doesn’t express the action

Brought the plans to my office. No SUBJECT: Doesn’t explain who or what

No COMPLETED IDEA. Brought what?

The architect brought.

Identify Fragments: Exercise 111.S12.F13.S14.F15.S16.F17.S18.F19.F20. S

1. F2. F3. S4. F5. F6. S7. S8. F9. F10. S

How do you correct a fragment?

• Add the missing parts!• Join the fragment to the

sentence where it belongs. • Remove the

adverb/prepositional phrase causing fragmentation.

Exercise 21. Betsy can't have the meeting at her house.

Because her little brother has the measles. 2. Electricity is everywhere around us. It is in the air

and in the ground. 3. We cleaned the three little fish. Hoping that

nobody would ask to see our catch. 4. Thoreau spent more than two years at Walden

Pond. Living in a one-room shed. 5. I promised to go to the movies with Elaine. Who

would never forgive me if I went swimming instead.

1. Betsy can’t have the meeting at her house because her little brother has the measles.

2.No Change 3. We cleaned the three little fish hoping that

nobody would ask to see our catch. 4. Thoreau spent more than two years at Walden

Pond living in a one-room shed. 5. I promised to go to the movies with Elaine,

who would never forgive me if I went swimming instead.

Exercise 2

6. Many students to Junior Achievement. Founded in 1919, it is a national organization that helps to develop leadership.

7. Pollyanna never gossips. If she can't think of something nice to say about another girl, she doesn't say anything.

8. Maria Martinez, an Indian girl, gained fame for her outstanding pottery. Based on ancient methods.

9. the fisherman put (complete the though).10. "A stitch in time saves nine" is an old proverb. Which

can be applied to many daily situations.

6. Many students belong to Junior Achievement. Founded in 1919, it is a national organization that helps to develop leadership.

7. No change.

8. Maria Martinez, an Indian girl, gained fame for her outstanding pottery which was based on ancient methods.

9. No Change. 10. "A stitch in time saves nine" is an old proverb which can be

applied to many daily situations.

Watch Out for a Common Trap!

Just because you write a lot of words, you don’t necessarily have a complete sentence.

Although I have tried many ways to get an “A”, such as paying off the professor and offering to carry her books to class each day and assuring her that I love my writing class more than life itself.

FRAGMENT! You haven’t finished the “although” idea, so you haven’t finished your thought.

But you knew that, because you remembered that…

…a sentence is not complete or correct, unless• It has a subject;• it has a verb,• and it expresses a

complete idea.

Which would you rather visit & why?

Beginnings and Endings.

Chapter 4, pg 81.

Lead Ins: The “front door” to your paper. 1. paradoxical/intriguing

statement2. Shocking/arresting

statistic3. A question4. Quote5. Joke/story/anecdote6. Description, emotional7. Factual statement8. Analogy/comparison

9. before-after scenario10. Personal experience11. List of facts (catalog)12. Statement of problem or misconception13. Brief dialogue14. Proverb, maxim, motto15. Insight, revelation16. Appeal to common

experience

Avoid Errors in Lead-Ins

• Make sure your lead-in introduces your thesis

• Keep your lead-in brief• Don’t begin with an apology or complaint• Don’t assume your audience already knows

your subject matter• Stay clear of overused lead-ins (dictionary

definitions anyone?!)

Practicing what you’ve learned: pg 85 Describe the lead-ins in the paragraphs. May be more

than one “type” that has been blended!1. proverb

Concluding paragraphs: pg 86 1. A Summary of the

thesis and the essay’s major points

2. An evaluation of the importance

3. A statement of broader implications

4. A recommendation or call to action

5. A warning based on the essay’s thesis

6. A quotation from an authority

7. An anecdote/brief example that emphasizes/sums up

8. Image or description9. Rhetorical question10. Forecast11. Ironic twist, pun,

witticism, playful use of words

12. Return to the technique you used in the lead-in

Avoid Errors in Conclusions

• Don’t introduce new points/irrelevant material

• Don’t just tack on a conclusion.

• Don’t change your stance.

• Avoid trite expressions

• Don’t insult or anger your reader.

“What Is Poverty”

Group Assignment (1 pg per group)

“What is Poverty” (see handout or website)

1. Identify a quote for each of these 5 areas:1. Sight2. Sound3. Smell4. Taste5. Touch/Texture

2. Respond to the piece – Did you like it? Dislike it?

3. This shows description used for a purpose, what is that purpose?

Peer Revision

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• Always remember these lessons:– A good peer editor makes a better

self-editor because you learn by correcting other peoples’ work!

– Treat your peer’s paper like you’ll be graded on his/her errors and weaknesses.

Peer Editing

Do’s

-Take this serious, you will be graded on the quality and quantity of your comments.

-Comment in a polite, respectful language/tone

-Explain your comments, so if you say “I Liked it,” explain why! If you say “this is bad” explain how to improve it.

Don’ts

-Correct every spelling/ grammar mistake (the author should use spell check!)

-Fill the paper with vague comments like “great job” and “interesting”

-Insult the author- Phrases such as “this sucks”,

instead phrase as “This could be better if you added in…”

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Follow the Handout1. Read aloud to paper owner. (allow markup by paper

owner, but editor/reviser don’t do anything but read). 2. Peer Revision: read to yourself. • Sensory Descriptions• Lead Ins• Conclusion

3. Return to paper’s author.

• Logic/organization•MLA format

Homework

• Descriptive Essay Final Draftemail to ttosspon@gmail.com by 9am 08/08.– File name: Lastname_Descriptive.doc or .docx

• Journal 2 – write about anything you want! 1-2 pgs, in MLA format, emailed or turned in by 9am next week.