Forgiveness, Who Does It, and How They Do It Michael E. McCullough University of Miami Coral Gables,...

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Forgiveness, Who Does It, and How They Do It

Michael E. McCulloughUniversity of MiamiCoral Gables, Florida

Forgiveness in the Population (Poloma & Gallup, 1991)

“Which do you usually do when you feel that someone has deliberately done something wrong to you?”

Try to Forgive 48%

Try to Overlook It 45%

Hold Onto Resentment 14%

Try to Get Even 8%

Revenge and Forgiveness in Published Articles, 1900-1990

803

171

0

100

200

300

400

500

600

700

800

900

Revenge, Retal.,Retrib.

Forgiveness

Number ofPublications

The “Flight From Tenderness:”“Somehow it feels more tough-

minded to study discord. The scientist fears that if he looks at affiliative sentiments he may seem sentimental; if he talks about love he may seem emotional; and if he studies personal attachments he may seem personal. Better leave the whole matter to poets, to saints, or to theologians.”

Gordon W. Allport (1950), A Psychological Approach to the Study of Love and Hate

Number of Forgiveness-Related

Articles Per Year, 1980-1999

(Running Median Smoothing)

YEAR

2000199019801970

30

20

10

0

Observed

Linear

Forgiveness

Pardon (A Legal Term) Condonation (Justifying an offense) Excusing (Extenuating circumstances) Forgetting (Decay of memory) Denial (Motivated Lack of Awareness) Reconciliation (Restored Relationship) Surrendering Justice Concerns

Forgiveness Is: A intrapsychic event

occurring in the context of an interpersonal transgression

These transgressions typically elicit negative changes in interpersonal motivations (avoidance, revenge, benevolence)

Forgiveness Is: A intrapsychic event occurring in the context

of an interpersonal transgressionTypically elicit negative changes in interpersonal

motivations (avoidance, revenge, benevolence) Forgiveness Is Motivational Change

Increased benevolence, reduced revenge and avoidance

Precedes (and can stimulate) prosocial changes in behavior toward the transgressor

Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivations (TRIM) Inventory

Avoidance

“I keep as much distance between us as possible.”

“I avoid him/her.”

Benevolence

“I want us to bury the hatchet.”

“I want us to have a positive relationship again.”

Revenge

“I’ll make him/her pay.”

“I want to see him/her hurt and miserable.”

Who Does It?

Agreeableness

Proneness to Negative Emotions

Religion/Spirituality

TRIMs and the Big Five

-0.41

0.24

0.48

-0.32

-0.5

0.07

-0.5

-0.3

-0.1

0.1

0.3

0.5

Reg

ressio

n

Co

eff

icie

nt

(beta

)

Avoidance Revenge

Open

Cons

Extr

Agre

Neur

Empathy ForgivenessApology

Interventions

Closeness

How Do They Do It? Empathy is Key

Rumination

-

+

+

+

+

Forgiveness: Implicit Temporal Dynamics

“A motivational transformation. . . “McCullough, Worthington, & Rachal, 1997

“ Cancellation of a debt“Exline & Baumeister, 2000

...overcoming resentment...and [trying] to have a new stance of benevolence, compassion, and even love.Subkoviak, Enright, et al., 1995

2

2.5

3

3.5

4

4.5

Day 0 Day 35Time

RevengeScore

A Generalized Model: Forgiveness, Forbearance, and Time

Forgiveness, Forbearance, and Time

Intercept (β0j) : Initial post-transgression levels ofrevenge, avoidance, benevolence = Forbearance.

Given a set of TRIMs yij:

Slope (β1j(Time)): linear change in revenge, avoidance, benevolence = Trend Forgiveness.

yij = β0j + β1j(Time) + rij

Post-Transgression Predictors of Forbearance and (Trend) Forgiveness

Parameter Severity Empathy Repons. Att

Avoid-Forbear .35* -.48* .33*

Avoid-Forgive -.05 -.07 -.20

Revenge-Forbear .07 -.31* .14

Revenge-Forgive -.01 .05 .16

Benev-Forbear -.20 .44* .15

Benev-Forgive .01 .24* .21*

2

2.5

3

3.5

4

4.5

5

Day 0 Day 35

rij

RevengeScore

Time

Temporary Forgiveness?

Within-Subject Correlates of Temporary Forgiveness

TRIM Measure Corr w/Empathy

Corr w/Respons. Attrib

Avoidance -.43* .14

Revenge -.18 .09

Benevolence .40* -.09

Forgiveness and Dyadic Satisfaction/ Commitment, McCullough et al., 1998

Dyadic Satisf.-Commit. Forgiveness Measure Male Female

Male Avoidance-Recent Hurt -.35*** -.11

Male Revenge-Recent Hurt -.32** -.29**

Male Avoidance-Worst Hurt -.31* -.03

Male Revenge-Worst Hurt -.40*** -.37***

Female Avoidance-Recent Hurt -.38*** -.48***

Female Revenge-Recent Hurt -.44*** -.47***

Female Avoidance-Worst Hurt -.21* -.13

Female Revenge-Worst Hurt -.46*** -.34**

Mathematical Model of Relational Closeness and Reconciliation

Intercept (β0j) : Initial levels of closeness and commitment

Slope (β1j(Time)): change in closeness and commitment over time = Reconciliation.

yij = β0j + β1j(Time) + rij

Given a set of measures of closeness/commitment yij

Pre-Transgression Closeness

Change in Closeness (Reconciliation)

Transgression Severity

Initial Closeness

Initial Benevolence

Changes in Benevolence (Forgiveness)

Figure 4: Benevolence--Final Model

.52 .30

-.74

.25

.36

-.26

.22

-.24

.65

-.32

.54

.28

Promoting Forgiveness via Group Interventions

Non-Clinical (< 6 hrs.) vs. Control Group: d = .24.

Clinical (>6 hrs.) vs. Control: d = .76.

Importance of empathy promotion

0

0.1

0.2

0.3

0.4

0.5

0.6

0.7

0.8

ClinicallyNon-Relevant

ClinicallyRelevant

The Future

The Well-Being Assumption

The Self-Report Assumption

The Physical Health Assumption

The Well-Being Assumption Does Forgiveness Lead to Mental Health

and Well-Being? Cross sectional vs. longitudinal data Associative longitudinal growth modeling Do forgiveness trajectories predict the

unfolding of mental health and well-being following transgressions?

The Self-Report Assumption

Is Self-Report the Best Way to Measure Forgiveness? Do self-reports converge with other measures?

Alternatives to Self-ReportRetributive/avoidant/benevolent behavior in

the laboratoryReductions in facial expressions of negative

and positive (affiliative) emotion

Physical Health Assumption Does Forgiveness Lead to Physical

Health? Forgiveness and Physiology Forgiveness and Health in Real-Time Physiological reactivity to transgression-

related laboratory challengesCardiovascular reactivityNeuroendocrine Immunologic

The Future:

“When we imagine a perfect state of being we invariably imagine the unconditional triumph of love.”

Gordon W. Allport (1950), A Psychological Approach to the Study of Love and Hate

Thank You!