Post on 10-Feb-2017
transcript
HER NIGHTMARE BEGAN WHEN SHE WOKE UP
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HER NIGHTMARE BEGAN WHEN SHE
WOKE UP
“… if I only knew more about the state of our
financial planning !”
By Eben Botes
HER NIGHTMARE BEGAN WHEN SHE WOKE UP
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PREFACE
The book came about after many years of seeing
firsthand how perfectly normal lives were
destroyed because of a lack of knowledge and
sense of urgency when it came to proper financial
planning. After this last client, spoken about in
this book, had to go through this horrific ordeal by
herself, feeling her pain that could so easily have
been prevented, I felt motivated to take some
responsibility to get her story out there, hoping to
help as many families as I could through this book.
In the book you will meet Melissa and her
husband Andy and how her nightmare began
when she woke up.
The purpose of the book is to teach wife’s and
husbands through Melissa’s story, about the very
basics of what their financial planning must cover.
I want to acknowledge my wife and boys, this
book was also written with them in mind, the
sacrifices they have made for me are tremendous
and I hope this book will save many family’s lives
and make their sacrifice worthwhile.
HER NIGHTMARE BEGAN WHEN SHE WOKE UP
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Some names and identifying details have been
changed in this book to protect the privacy of the
individuals involved, the events that took place
are factual and true.
Melissa May was married to Andy May, her high
school sweetheart. They decided very early on in
their relationship that they wanted to have a
medium sized family, a pigeon pare if they could
be so lucky and that Andy would be the bread
winner and she would be the loving house wife
and mother. Andy had a passion for flying, his
father always said “if you do what you love, you
will never work a day in your life”. Andy took that
to heart and become a helicopter pilot and loved
it.
Melissa and Andy did not get married for a
number of years after school as it was very
expensive and a timeous affair to get Andy
through flight school and for him to land his first
good paying job.
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It wasn’t long after they eventually were married
that Melissa fell pregnant with their first child, it
was not the pigeon pare they were hoping for but
it was a beautiful and healthy baby girl, they
named her Amber.
Melissa was a great mother and Andy was a good
provider, his family did not want for anything.
Soon they moved into their own house and Andy
bought Melissa a big SUV vehicle because baby
number two was on the way. The years went by
with Melissa being the stay at home mom with
her busy schedule raising two children and Andy
clocking up the hours flying helicopters for a
living. Every month end Andy would give Melissa
money to take care of her and the children’s
expenses and for whatever needed to get done
regarding the household. This went on year in and
year out exactly as what they planned when they
were still in school, life was perfect …
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January 30th was Melissa’s birthday, she was
turning 35. Amber now already 10 years old and
her little brother Brett 6 years old decided to bake
mommy a cake for her birthday, dad Andy had to
help of course. They surprised her with cake in
bed for breakfast and the happy family had a
great day.
The next morning as per usual Melissa made the
family breakfast and Andy kissed them all
goodbye and left for work. Melissa dropped the
kids at school and was on her way home when she
got a call from her brother Mark, he wanted to
know if she was close to home yet and that he
was on his way there now. She was about 5
minutes away but she felt that something was
wrong, something in Mark’s voice did not sound
quite right.
Mark was listed on Andy’s employment contract
as a next of kin, the manager of the company that
Andy worked for called Mark with some bad
news, he felt that it would be better if a family
member was with Melissa for the bad news …
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On that morning Andy was supposed to fly a client
to a certain destination and in flight something
went catastrophically wrong and Andy crashed,
Andy did not survive the accident. Mark was
waiting in the driveway of Melissa and Andy’s
house when she pulled in, from looking at her
brothers face she knew this was not good. Mark
felt it was just best to get it over with and without
hesitation told Melissa that Andy passed away an
hour ago.
Melissa was beside herself with grief, her heart
was broken into a million pieces, she lost the love
of her life. Her life would never be the same, it
was the worst day. She tried to be brave for
Amber and little Brett but there was no holding
back the emotions that poured out, she was
broken.
Just yesterday Andy baked a cake with the kids
and surprised her in bed, just this morning he
kissed her goodbye as he left for work, her last
kiss from Andy. Sobbing and weeping she walked
through their home and everything she looked at
brought up memories about Andy and their
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perfect life together, this made her even more sad
and she eventually fell asleep on their bed
clutching onto Andy’s pillow.
Her nightmare began when she woke up …
Mark had been keeping the kids busy and also
cooked dinner for them. Melissa came out from
the bedroom putting on a brave face, it did not
last very long as the moment she saw the kids
sitting at the dinner table with Mark the tears
came running down her face. She sat down with
them and tried to explain as best she could that
daddy was gone and he was never coming back.
After a few minutes Mark told the kids to go and
play, he knew that the following conversation
would not be an easy one for Melissa and he
wanted to spare them from seeing their mom like
this.
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“Sis, …” he said with a soft voice holding her hand.
“ we need to speak about a few things that are
now coming up over the next few days “ She
looked up at him not exactly sure what he meant.
“ I will help you with the funeral arrangements but
I need some information from you first, which
company holds Andy’s funeral policy and for how
much was he covered for? “. Her eyes got more
focused, she paused for a bit and said “I don’t
know “. Mark made a note in the notepad that he
found on the kitchen table and asked “ how many
months of savings do you guys have in your
emergency fund account ? “ realizing that these
questions are only going to get tougher she sat
more upright and replied “ I don’t know if we have
one “
Mark realizes that his sister was not involved in
the finances and he would have to try and track
down all their policy information and financials.
He got Melissa to sign a document consenting to
him getting the information on her behalf. The
next day Mark had his friend that was a financial
adviser look for all Andy’s policy information and
bank accounts. What they learn next would shock
and disappoint them at the same time.
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Andy had not a single life insurance policy nor did
he have any retirement planning or savings of any
sort, he had $8.78 in his bank account, that was it.
Mark felt angry at Andy, how could he not have
planned or made provision for his family, what
was he thinking? How will Melissa and the
children continue with their lives as they know it?
With an extra dark cloud over his heart now he
was not sure how he was going to break the news
to Melissa.
Being the stand-up guy that he is, he arranged the
funeral and paid for everything out of his own
pocket, he thought it best to not say anything
until after the funeral so that Melissa and the kids
could say goodbye to Andy properly. The funeral
was beautiful as far as funerals are concerned,
Melissa and the kids got to lay rose petals on
Andy’s coffin whilst saying their last goodbyes.
Mark was even more emotional than he thought
he would be, must be because he was the only
one that knew what was still to come for his sister
and the kids.
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After the funeral Mark drove Melissa and the kid’s
home. He wanted to talk to her about what he
found out but felt that today was not the day.
“Please make some time tomorrow morning as we
have a few things to discuss “he said hoping that
she would not ask what the discussion would be
about. Silence … she did not say a word.
The next morning Mark spoke to Andy’s employer
and he was told that the company had no benefits
for Andy, no pension, no protection cover at all.
Andy was employed on a contract basis and he
was paid for the amount of hours he billed for
flying their clients around.
Mark went over to Melissa’s place, sat her down
and told her everything. She had nothing, there
would be no money coming in from anywhere.
“How could that be possible? “She cried out with
panic in her voice. “How am I going to pay the
house come month’s end? How am I going to pay
the car? What about the children’s school fees?
“Panic set in, her mind was racing with thousands
of thoughts, what would they eat ? Where would
they go? Do they still have medical insurance?
How could Andy let this happen to them?
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Melissa would never know why Andy never had
these things in place or if it was even on his to do
list for the near future, we don’t plan on dying
today so in our minds we still have time.
Melissa lost everything, the house, the cars, the
kids had to go to a state run school. The perfect
life as she knew it was over. If only she knew more
about the state of their financial planning.
___________
As stated in the beginning of this short true story,
this is an actual client and what she had to go
through just because it never crossed her mind to
ask questions about their financial planning. It is
of the utmost importance that you have a basic
understanding of what the term “personal
financial planning” means and what at the very
least you should have in place, the fact here
remains that it is not whether this could happen
to you, it’s when it is going to happen to you …
will your ducks be in a row?
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I am going to set out the very basics of what every
household should have in place, where to find the
information and what to do with it …
Funeral Cover
In many countries you find that they have funeral
policies available. Funeral policies cover a person
and his loved ones in the event of death, this
funeral policy normally pays out a certain amount
of cash to the family of the deceased individual.
The amount is usually chosen by the owner of the
funeral policy and should cover all the costs of the
funeral. Payout of the cash amount is normally
done within 48 hours after receiving the death
certificate. Do you know if you have one? Do you
have their name and contact details? Do you have
the policy number?
Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is exactly that, emergency
money in a separate account that can be used
should an emergency occur. Your fund will look
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very different from the next persons account as
not everybody has the same expenses. In the
event of a death the banks may very well freeze
the deceased’s bank accounts, you will not be able
to have access to the normal banks accounts that
you are used to.
So how big should this account be? Having an
emergency fund of 3 – 6 months’ worth of
monthly expenses is a good amount to have. Now
it might not be possible for everyone to just open
an account and put 6 months’ worth of monthly
expenses in it straight away, but start somewhere.
It might also be a good idea to have that
emergency account offshore and not in the
country that you live in.
Will & Guardianship Letters
One of the most important financial planning
documents that are often overlooked is the Will.
Here you name your children, you name the
guardians of your children if they are under age,
how your estate should be distributed and who
will be your executor.
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Each person’s Will and wishes after death will be
different, do you want to be cremated or buried?
Where do you want to buried ? Are you an organ
donor? By the time a Will is read it’s too late to
harvest organs, your family and friends should
know that you are an organ donor.
If your children are still under aged they will have
to go stay with the guardians that you have
chosen for them, will there be funds to help the
guardians with this enormous financial burden
that has now suddenly fallen on them? Do you
have a lump sum of life cover or cash that will be
available? If not, how will that cost be funded?
Drawing up a Last Will and testament gives you an
exact picture of your assets and what liabilities
you still have that will fall upon your loved ones.
There are also costs involved on the death of a
loved one like estate duties and executors fees,
will there be enough cash available to pay for this
or will you have to sell off assets to cover these
costs?
Do you have a Will? Where is it? When you signed
it did you understand it?
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Life Cover or Life Insurance
Why do you need Life cover or life insurance?
Let’s look at 4 reasons why you should know
where your cover is and what it’s there for:
Protect your loves ones
If your family depends on your financial income
for their livelihood, then life insurance is a must
because it replaces your income in the event of
your death. It is especially important for parents
with children who will find it difficult to maintain
their standard if your income suddenly falls away,
how will they cope with the day to day living
expenses? Housing? Schooling? Medical cover?
Pay off debts and other expenses
Providing income to cover daily living expenses is
one aspect, your family needs life insurance to
cover larger outstanding debts, like your home
loan, credit cards and car loans. Other expenses
include funeral and burial costs that can easily run
into the thousands of dollars. You don’t want your
spouse, parents, children or other loved ones to
be left with any extra financial burden in addition
to the emotional burden they’re already suffering.
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Financial security & peace of mind
None of us know when we will pass away, could
be this afternoon, could be tomorrow, could be
many years from now, but it will eventually
happen. No one and no amount of money can
replace a person, but having life insurance in place
will certainly protect your loved ones against the
uncertainties in life. Having life insurance in place
will give you peace of mind that your loved ones
will be looked after when you’re gone.
Leave an inheritance
Even if you don’t have large valuable assets to
pass onto your heirs, you can have life insurance
in place to create an inheritance for them, this is a
very cost effective method to create a large cash
injection into their financial future and any
monetary need that may arise.
I once met a husband and wife that said they did
not believe in life insurance and according to
them it was an unnecessary expense, the husband
passed away a few weeks later and all of a sudden
the wife started believing, too little too late.
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In closing
We all have a responsibility to our loved ones,
talking a big game in front of friends or family
doesn’t mean anything. It’s when the final curtain
closes, your love, concern and responsibility will
show. Will your family without a doubt be looked
after in the way that they should be looked after?
After the heartbreak eases will they be able to
carry on with their lives as they know it?
It’s not if it’s going to happen to you … it’s when.
Take the time, ask the questions, take action,
make certain that you understand your financial
plan and that you know whom to contact in the
event of an emergency.
In the next follow up book I will discuss severe
Illness and disability and how it impacts millions of
people daily and what you could expect should
you or a loved one suffer from a severe illness or a
disability and what you should have in place to
protect you financially. The cost of suffering either
of these could be crippling. You can’t work, so
where is the money going to come from ?