Impact on Family Systems

Bob Campbell, Psy.D., M.Div.MKSN Conference

April 20, 2013

Family Differences

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

- Tolstoy

Interconnections

Interconnections

Interconnections

Trauma

Triangles

Triangles

Triangles

Homeostasis

• Every system works to maintain itself• Change increases stress

Triangles

The Effect of Childhood Trauma

• Stress and stress response• Every situation is different• Diathesis/stress model

• Connections may be broken• Sense of being understood is lost• Feeling intensely vulnerable

Self-Protection

System Out of Whack

Guilt

• “I did something wrong”

Shame

• Guilt says “I did something wrong.”• Shame says “I am something wrong.”• Embarrassment• Silence• Stuckness

Blame

• Blaming the perpetrator• Blaming the church• Blaming the structure• Blaming God• Blaming the family• Essence of blame – a struggle

to understand and interpret

This is even more complex …

Rigidity

Rigidity

• Secrecy, decorum, rules, and shame• Related to faith stance• Black and white thinking• Oughts, shoulds, and can’ts

Boundaries

• Open and closed systems• Family rules

Depression

Isolation

Anxiety

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

• Flashbacks• Re-experiencing• Avoidance• Distress• Hypervigilance• Irritability• Comorbid mood disorders

Even more complexity

Brokenness from Outside

External Trauma

Brokenness from Inside

• Most important relationships• Trusted • Empowered• Authorities• Connected with Faith

• Loss of connection, attachment • Abandonment• Betrayal• Development of shame from lack of attachment

Internal Brokenness

Internal Brokenness

Ripple Effects

Repetitive Traumatization

• Learned hopelessness• Impact on developmental schema• Loss of meaning• Withdrawal from social support

TRAUMA

Healing the Family System

Seeking Assistance

Keeping Healthy Boundaries

Opening Lines of Communication

The F-word

• Alternatives• Letting go• Softening• Learning assertiveness• Learning self-care• Defusing• Working toward, rather than against• Finding purpose

Increasing Flexibility

Resilience

Dr. Bob Campbellrcampbell@willowwellness.comwww.willowwellness.com