in the name of love2 - Kabbalah Centrecdn1.kabbalah.com/.../nameOfLove2/lect01/slides.pdf · 2010....

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in the name of loveemail: askmonica@kabbalah.comblog: askmonicaberg.comtwitter: @monicaberg74

1.To be emotionally intelligent is to know each other’s worlds in great detail starting from their childhood to their current experiences.(It means you know their history even before you were in the picture, what their life was like and the people who were in their lives.)

2. Express & grow fondness for one another, communicated through daily actions (you know their hopes, dreams, aspirations and you encourage & support them consistently).In short, part of your brain is designated to store all relevant information about your partner’s life.

The stories in your head – false or real – effect your interaction & reaction to your spouse, partner, friend, sibling, parent, etc.

What are your narratives? (Story you tell yourself)

How does this negatively influence your behavior in relationships?

What narratives do you know about the person you’re in a relationship with?

What’s wrong?

What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going

through now?

WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH

I’m hungry.I’m

hungry.

I’m sleepy.I’m

sleepy.

I’m tired.I’m

tired.

What’s wrong?

I don’t see why you are making such a big deal

out of this.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.

I liked it better before.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair.

$50 & it doesn’t look that different!

I like that one better.

Pick anything & let’s go home!

WOMEN’S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISHWhile shopping...

MEN’S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need to talk.

I need to complain.

Sure, go ahead.

I don’t want you to.

I’m not yelling!

Yes, I am yelling because I think

this is important.

We need...I want...

It’s your decision.

The correct decision should be

obvious by now.

Do what you want.

You’ll pay for this later.

I’m not upset.

Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re so manly.

You need a shave & you sweat a lot.

You’re certainly attentive tonight.

Is sex all you ever think about?

I’m not emotional & I’m NOT

overreacting!

I’ve got my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.

I have flabby thighs.

I want new curtains.

...and carpet & furniture &

wallpaper.

I need wedding shoes.

The other 40 pairs are the wrong shade

of white.

Hang the picture there.

NO, I mean hang it there.

I heard a noise.

I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?

I’m going to ask for something

expensive.

How much do you love me?

I did something today you’re

really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute.

Kick off your shoes & find a game on TV.

Is my bum fat?

Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.

Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me?!

TOO LATE, you’re dead.

MaybeNO

I’m sorry.You’ll

be sorry.

This kitchen is so inconvenient.

I want a new house.

Do you like this recipe?

It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get

used to it.

Was that the baby?

Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him

until he goes to sleep?

All we’re going to buy is a soap dish.

It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics

department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you

bring your checkbook?

What things do you blame on your partner (or any significant relationship you are in) - that in reality is not their fault?

What is the designated issue you’ve placed on them?

What is your real unaddressed issue?

1. Sit down in a peaceful space, either alone or with someone who’s willing to act as a friend or advisor.

4 Steps to Find & Dispel Your Designated Issue

2. Imagine as vividly as you can that your designated issue is gone. Vanished. Not even a memory.

4 Steps to Find & Dispel Your Designated Issue3. Ask yourself, “Now that I’ve fixed that, what problems do I still have to face?” The answer will be sobering. Your unpaid rent, your Aunt’s illness – be prepared for all the unglamorous, frightening realities your life will spill from the lead-lined box of your designated issues.

4. Pick one of these unpleasant problems & take at least one step toward solving it.

True love is NOT conditional.

True love exists even after someone refuses to hear us, doesn’t understand us or take our advice. Truly loving someone is when they’re disappointing you/upsetting you/perhaps undermining you but you still feel love for them.

The first step in this shift of awareness is to consider the following:

Write a time where you did not act with true love & list the circumstances surrounding it.

Write a time where you felt or behaved with a lack of love because you felt anger, disappointment or stress.

WEEKLY CHALLENGE - homeworkApply one of the following tools to a relationship conflict you have this week & use these tools to:

1. Recognize Your Story2. Discover Your Designated Issue3. Practice Unconditional Love

Tuesday, November 16th @ 8 PMblog: askmonicaberg.comtwitter: @monicaberg74

Still have questions? email askmonica@kabbalah.com

in the name of love Part 2

Lecture 2

in the name of love2 - Kabbalah Centrecdn1.kabbalah.com/.../nameOfLove2/lect01/slides.pdf · 2010....

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