Love First

Presenters: Jeff Jay and Debra Jay

Intervention

www.lovefirst.net

Intervention

Interventionworkshop.com

In the beginning...Two women brought two alcoholics

together.

Alcoholics Anonymous was born.

“The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable... to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago.”

Big Book pp 23

Intervention

Normal 3-D Brain SPECT Images

Top- downsurface view

Front-on surface view

Sidesurface view

Undersidesurface view

Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen

Intervention

Alcohol – 17 years ofheavy weekend use

Top-down surface view

Underside surface view

Front-onsurface view

Side surface view

Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen

Intervention

Healthy BrainPhotos: Dr. Daniel

Amen

Intervention

Twenty-two years of daily drinking.

Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen

Intervention

Cocaine Methamphetamine

Twenty-four year old. Using two years frequently.

Twenty-eight year old. Eight year heavy use.

Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen

Intervention

Marijuana Opiates

Eighteen year old.Using 3 years.Four times week.

Forty year old. Methadone 7 years.Previously, heroin 10 years.

Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen

Intervention

Before & After Recovery

Top down surface view during substance abuse.

Same view after one year alcohol and drug free.

Photos: Dr. Daniel Amen

Intervention

The brain confabulates. It associates diverse sensations, defies contradictions, and creates coherence. It even seeks explanations for its own unfathomable behavior.

-Dr. Gerald M. EdelmanAuthor, “Wider Than the Sky”

Intervention

Thinking BrainEmotional

Brain

Spiritual Brain

We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

Bill Wilson

Intervention

Inebriety As a Disease

Scientific AmericanPublished 1877

“Science draws a broad distinction between drunkenness as a vice and drunkenness as a disease.”

Building a Language for Understanding

Intervention as communication

Intervention

the first order of business isn’t talking to alcoholics.

The power is in the hands of the families, friends and co-workers.

the first order of business isn’t talking to alcoholics.

The power is in the hands of the families, friends and co-workers.

Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.

Benjamin Lee Whorf

Intervention

American Linguist

The Three Most Damaging Myths

Thinking about our words

Intervention

You can’t help an alcoholicunless he wants help

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If you can’t help an alcoholic until he wants help,what will get him to want help?

Intervention

A question that changes everything.

“I hadn’t a clue what an intervention was when I became the focus of one a quarter century ago. The first one didn’t take. I was angry with both my daughter, Susan, and Dr. Joe Cruse, who dared to trespass into my home and suggest I had a problem. I rose up on my high horse and threw them out. I try not to think about it too often, as I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I do.

“But the second intervention had a different ending....Surrounded by the family who loved me...this intervention saved my life.”

-Betty FordHealing and Hope

Treatment won’t workif she doesn’t want it

Intervention

It’s not how you get into treatment that counts,

it’s what happens once you’re there.

Intervention

Hazelden Survey

Intervention

Statistics

Intervention

An Alcoholic Must Hit Bottomtaking along even the smallest children

Intervention

Talk about crisis as intervention.

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Crisis comes with a choice.

Children’s Brains

One in four children live in a home with alcohol abuse or alcoholism. (Children of Alcoholics Foundation)

76 million Americans have been exposed to alcoholism in their family (SAMHSA)

Most children of alcoholics have experienced some form of abuse or neglect (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry).

“The science shows that childhood maltreatment may

produce changes in both brain function and structure. These

changes are permanent. This is not something people can just get

over.”

-Dr. Martin H. TeicherMcClean Hospital

Among neglected children, the cortex–the thinking part of the brain–is 20 percent smaller on average than in a control group.

-Children’s Hospital & Baylor College of Medicine

“When young children are stressed by too much noise, abuse or violence, they use all of their brain for survival instead of for learning.

“Later in school, they can lose the ability to engage in logical thought and creative problem solving.”

-Partnership for Learning

“Bluntly put, the time that parents need to conquer their substance abuse and addiction can pose a serious threat to their children who may suffer permanent damage during this phase of rapid development. Little children cannot wait; they need safe and stable homes and nurturing adults now in order to set the stage for a healthy productive life.”

Joseph Califano, Jr.The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia Univ.

Family is our springboard...

A Personal Story of Intervention

you have a disease and it’s not your fault

Intervention

Taking Action: Practical Steps

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Building blocks to intervention

Plan, plan, planIntervention team: Family members and friends

Commitment to work together

Chairperson, detail person

Homework: read Love First thoroughly

OverviewMeeting 1: building and training the team

Details: treatment, insurance, contingencies

Meeting 2: rehearsal and preparation

Intervention day

Escort to treatment

Al-Anon and family program

Meeting 1Everyone shares their history and knowledge

Note special problems, e.g. legal, psychological

Are there children involved?

7 point letter writing process

Brianstorming objections -- and answers

Bottom lines

Meeting 2Full rehearsal

Read and edit letters

Read and edit bottom lines

Run through possible scenarios

Set seating arrangements

Intervention DayNot confrontational, but a new beginning

A spirit of love and a solution

Reading the intervention letters

Answering questions and objections

Getting to YES

Escort to treatment

Writing Letterstools that go beyond intervention

Intervention

1. Identification

Name the relationship

Introduce the power of the relationship

Remove objections before they arise

2. Love

Longest part of the letter

Detailed reasons why we love and care about this person

Memorable times and experiences

Pride and gratitude

Like a eulogy...with an inside joke

3. Reframing

Taken time to learn about the disease

Not a matter of willpower or character

Requires professional treatment

4. Facts

Brief, specific and first hand

No judgmental language

The facts Ma’am, just the facts

Poignant

5. Commitment

Personal commitment to stand by them

Any help that is appropriate

Remembering the past

6. Ask

A direct and personal request

Today...now is the moment

Be specific about treatment

Don’t leave room for delay

7. Affirmation

End on a positive note

Show faith in the addict to follow through

A purpose for living

Inclusive -- we’re a family.

The Closer

Most trusted person

Senior family member

Eye to eye

Many will just say “Yes”

...or, on to the objections...

Brainstorming Objectionsthe escape routes

Intervention

Common ObjectionsWork

Childcare

Practical considerations: the dog, bills, home care

Big events: graduation, wedding, vacation

Disease objections

“I can do it on my own.”

“I don’t have a problem.

“I’ll see a psychiatrist.”

Bottom Linesno longer helping the addiction

Addiction can no longer trump the welfare of the family.

These are the ways I will take care of myself.

Intervention

Twelve steps for families.

“Sarah,

We are all committed to you and your health. Each of us would like to share with you the decisions we’ve made. We will not do anything to help you stay sick, but we will do all we can to help you get well. The addiction hurts us, too, so until you get into recovery we must take care of ourselves, and we want to tell you how we plan to do this....”

Intervention

We love you too much.

Intervention Day

Warm welcome

No surprises

Just want to talk

It’s a free country

Get to the script

TipsTrust the process

Stay calm: don’t take the bait

Magician not allowed

2 reasons for NO

Reach for the heart

Spiritual exercise