Listening EffectivelyModule 1, Lesson 3Communication for Life

What is Listening?

Listening is more than hearing. Listening means:Paying attention to the sounds you hear

Assigning them meaningChoosing a response

Listening is NOT passive:Requires focus, interpretation

Results in increased heart rate, respiration, and body temperature

Listening in NOT natural. Must be learned, just like reading & writing

Writing

Mass Listening

Face to face listeningSpeaking

Reading

14%

17%

32%

21%16%

Is Listening Important? An essential part of

our relationships with others, both at work and outside of work

Listening… Builds connections

When we are listened to, we feel connected to others.

When we are not listened to, we feel devalued and neglected. X

Builds High-Performance TeamsWhen we listen, we learnUnderstanding another person helps them and you

Listening makes you able to let go of old resentments

Listening transforms an argument into a dialogue.

Builds Effective Communication80% of people who lose their jobs do so because of an inability to communicate effectively.

Listening is the KEY PART of communication.

Improves RelationshipsImproves job performanceMakes happier marriagesBetter one-on-one relationships

Why is listening hard to do?

Listening takes effort.Effective listening requires some of the same physical changes as the body’s reaction to physical effort

Listening lacks the “pay off” of talking.Listeners have to give up center stage.

Listeners can’t show off their wit and knowledge.

Daydream dangersWe can understand 300 wpm

Average speech rate 120 wpm

Difference is spare time to take mental side trips

Message overloadWe are bombarded with competing messages.

Constant stimulation – television, radio, music, ads, kids’, parents’, friends’ conversations….

Our response…TUNE OUT!!

Preparing a response.Instead of listening, we prepare what we’re going to say when it is our turn.

Needs and wantsOur needs determine whether or not we choose to listen.

Sometimes we’re too wrapped up in our own thoughts to pay attention to others’ messages.

FiltersWe use filters to decide what to pay attention to.

Filters attach personal meaning to information

We filter out messages based on whether or not we agree with them.

Examples of Filters

Knowledge Attitudes Values Experiences Assumptions

•Beliefs•Prejudices•Feelings•Expectations

•“Hot buttons”

Examples of “Hot Buttons”

“You never/always…” Know it alls “Shut up” Bigots “What you should do

is…” Pushy people People who interrupt Whiners

10 Tips for Controlling Hot Buttons

Take deep breaths. Make a conscious choice about

your response. Acknowledge the other

person’s feelings. Ask objective questions for

clarification.

10 Tips for Controlling Hot Buttons

Try to see the other person’s point of view.

Stick to the subject. Be patient. Express your point of view. Explain why Work out a “win-win” plan.

13 Listening Tricks for Success

Concentrate on the message rather than the speaker.

Listen with a purpose.

Daydream selectively.

Take notes.

Ask questions.1) Mentally first – wait to see if they’re answered

2) Aloud at the end

Sit in the right place for you.

Start listening immediately.

Identify key points; listen for cues.

Pay attention to everything:Tone of voiceBody languageRead meanings behind words

Think about the message. Paraphrase it in your feedback to check your understanding.

Be open to new ideas.

Don’t jump to conclusions.

Know your own listening habits.

Ask open-ended questions

Recognize common patterns of organization…

Common Patterns of Organizing Information

Chronological order - first, next, then, finally...

Order of importance -order of priority, most important...

Comparison and Contrast - similar, like; different, in contrast...

Cause and effect - because, so that, therefore...

Why Listen???90% of success in

communication in the workplace and in life in

general is a direct result of

GOOD LISTENING SKILLS!