Post on 13-Apr-2017
transcript
Enhanced Management
Training Program23 November, 2016
On Writing WellPart Two
Tom Wicker, New York Times
Why this worked• Got to the point quickly;• Information structured logically;
• most important items first;• background later.
Tom Wicker imagined what the audience
wanted to know
Why this worked• Brought in people;• Brought in empathy;• re-written.
“The first draft of everything is shit”.
Ernest Hemingway
To Review—
It’s time to radically re-imagine how we
write.
A special emphasis on audience needs.
A special emphasis on brevity and clarity.
A special emphasis on logical structure.
I can’t solve all your problems.
Important tools• Positioning statement;• Flesch-Kincaid readability score;• Vernacular eloquence review.
Our Problems
Our sentences are too long.
We structure our information poorly.
We fail to imagine what our audience needs.
Implications
We’re not engaging our readers.
No one wants to read what we write.
No one needs to read what we write.
We don’t have a point of view.
We don’t present a range of options.
We don’t explain the implications of various
options.
People don’t need to grapple with our point
of view.
We’re not communicating
effectively.
We’re not doing our job.
Why do we write too much?
We don’t know what people want…
so we give them everything.
We’re trying to protect ourselves.
We think no one is reading what we write.
We don’t talk about the value of clarity and
power.
No narrative…no voice…no story…no point…no interest.
Exercise One.
Discuss and report• What’s important in the document ?• What’s not ?• What are they really trying to say ?• How would you fix it ?
Report back
Lessons learned:• If you say everything, you say nothing;• Keep sentences short;• Structure is important.
Data dumps…
..are hard to structure.
No narrative…no voice…no story…no point…no interest.
Readers have to hunt for useful info.
Long, ponderous sentences
harm clarity.
When structuring a document,
apply critical thinking.
Ask three important questions:
1) What problem are we trying to solve ?
2) What does “good”look like ?
3) How will we know when we get there ?
Tools
Measuring text
Govt. of Sask. briefing note.
Average Score = 30-36
Good score
Bad score
Aim for:• A score of 50 or better;• 10 - 15 words per sentence;• Grade level between 6 - 8.
Grade Six readability is hard to achieve, but it’s not “dumbing
down”.
B. ObamaM. Obama
H. ClintonD. Trump
0
22.5
45
67.5
90
Readability ScoresMajor Convention Speeches
July, 2016
B. ObamaM. Obama
H. ClintonD. Trump
0
2.25
4.5
6.75
9
Grade LevelMajor Convention Speeches
July, 2016
Text Analysis of recent govt. writing.
cominglementsunitization
re-locatables
Fall 2014
12 -15 words per sentence
Reading Ease score:
50 or better.
Readability grade level
6 to 8
Parting thoughts
In your documents/presentations….• convey a big idea;• covey what’s at stake;• Convince me I should care.
Exhibit a clarity of intent
• What problem am I trying to solve;• What does ‘good’ look like;• How will I know when I get there ?
Rejected opportunity cost
• What happens if I do nothing ?
An audience transformed
• The highest goal;• Now that I’ve read this, I know this;• Now, I have to do something.
A presentation template
We had a big idea• It’s important because—• This idea came from—• We talked to these people, and they said—
Here’s how our big idea changed
• We were surprised to discover—• New information created these new insights—• Here’s why these insights are valuable—
The value proposition
• Our big idea will improve a process/save money/• make life better for people in the following ways—
Rejected opportunity cost
• If we do nothing, here are the consequences—• Here’s what they are doing on other jurisdictions—
No that you now all this
• You must—
questions