MY JOURNEY THROUGH MOTHERHOOD & MADNESS

Postpartum Psychosis

A “fairy tale” wedding… … Followed by much-hoped-for pregnancy & a new house!

We seemed “prepared” for parenthood

What could possibly go wrong?

Result: a healthy 4kg baby boy – but a seriously unwell mum

Numerous “false starts” & two weeks overdue

Failure to progress after gruelling 3 day “back” labour

Cervix swollen & obstructed (from 9cm back to 4cm)

Uterus exhausted

Lengthy (and terrifying) emergency C-section followed by severe blood loss (3.5 litres)

Extreme sleep deprivation

We were physically shattered, but so grateful for James’ safe arrival

The media gives us: Reality:

New motherhood was not how I imagined

Unbeknown to us, the “perfect storm” of risk factors had gathered…

Within 24 hours…

Psychosis

Sleep deprivation

Infection & fever

(Unknown) family history

Worries over

breastfeeding

Traumatic labour

Previous episodes of depression

Catatonia & Delirium

I’m sorry, I think I’m insane. I love you.

I’m causing the end of the world..

I’ve killed everyone, but me, locked in this cell.

I will slowly suffocate to death

Where did my life end and

this nightmare

begin?

Heart about to stop?

Stomach about to explode?

Did I die? Is

this hell?

My baby was in the care of the nurses, going for daily walks with Daddy, in his shiny new pram.

Even in a psychotic state, I was encouraged to spend time with James, under careful supervision.

Admission to MBU: “there” but not there…

Daily visits from daddy.. … and James thrived

I had moments of lucidity

A “break through”A session with the MBU’s Child Psychologist was a break-through.

As she showed me how to make James smile, I started to see James as a real person, and not just a facet of my illness or a thing to be feared.

First home leave from the MBU – Christmas Day!A long shower, a simple lunch (just the 3 of us) and a chance to show James around his home for the first time.

From this day, my home leave gradually built up until I only went back to the MBU for my formal discharge meeting at the end of January.

Home for good

Brought to you by…

Midwife

Obstetricians

GP

Health Visitor

Perinatal Psychiatrist

Child Psychologis

tMental Health Nurse

Auxiliary staff

Husband & Daddy

Our family

PANDAS

Paramedics

Our friends &

neighbours

APP

A&E staff

Me & James

Twitter & Facebook

communities

KATHRYN CAN BE FOUND ON TWITTER @KATGRANT30

&HTTP: / /BUMPSANDGRIND.BLOGSPOT.CO.UK

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON PP, PLEASE VISIT

WWW.APP-NETWORK.ORG

Thanks for listening