Getting All Keyed Up!

Ef fective communication with students

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It’s all about Communication! • We’re constantly communicating in one

way or another – even if we don’t say a word

• 65-90% of a message is communicated nonverbally

What kind of communicator am I ?What kind of communicator am I ?

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• Commands and directs the lives of children– Drill Sergeant

“I know what’s best for you and I’ll make sure you decide to do what I know is best.”

• Hovers over children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live– Helicopter

“ I’ll make the decision for you because I’m afraid you might get hurt.”

• Provides guidance and consultant services for children– Consultant

“I’ll be glad to help you explore alternatives, but I know you’re able to make good decisions.”

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B r a in D r a inB r a in D r a in

The things we remember most are the things we ________.

Most of our immediate responses are “thoughtless.”

When it comes to the way we relate to students…

Is that OK?

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…feed misbehavior

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Misbehavior

Adult Shows Anger/Frustration

Negative Self-Concept

Perception of Authority Figures

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Rule #1: Set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lecture or threats

Rule #2: Hand the problem back to the studentHold the student accountable to solve problems

in a way that doesn’t make a problem for othersOffer choices with limitsUse enforceable statementsProvide delayed/extended consequencesLock in empathy before consequences are

delivered

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W h a t ’ s t h e K e y ?

Empathy

W h a t ’ s a n o t h e r K e y ?

Empathy

W h a t ’ s a n o t h e r

K e y ? EmpathyEmpathy

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Do I say what I mean and mean what I say?

Enforceable statements tell kids what WE Enforceable statements tell kids what WE will do or allow….will do or allow….

rather than trying to tell THEM rather than trying to tell THEM what to do.what to do.

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Control is a basic human

emotional need

Give lots of little choices about issues that don’t cause a problem for you or anyone else

Practice

Practice

Practice