Reasons to hate being

at school

Slave driving Maths teachers who assign mountains of homework each night, then

wonder why you always fall asleep in class.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET TO BED

AT A NORMAL HOUR !

English teachers who cry that nobody reads anymore, then assign you unreadable

garbage like Wuthering Heights.

History teachers who can memorise microscopic details about the past but can’t

get your name right until term three.

CAN YOU TELL ME WHO STARTED THE

WAR IN 1877 JEREMY? JAMIE?

JIMMY?

Woodwork class which teaches valuable life skills – like how to slice off your left pinky with a table saw.

Language classes where you ‘ll sacrifice precious weeks of your life learning valuable phrases like ‘I love the donkey.’

Self-consciously ‘cool’ Science teachers who foolishlyassume that you’ll respect them just becausethey’re ‘down’ with hip hop lingo from 1998.

COME ON NOW, PEEPS – CAN’T

Y’ALL JUST CHILLY CHILL?

After school fights that get hyped up all day and end up consisting of two weaklings slapping at each other for four

seconds before a security guard breaks it up

Wearing the wrong thing to the school ball, a humiliation that only lasts for six hours, but will eat

you to the core for the rest of your life

Missing school because of the flu – and then getting buried under so much catch up work

that you feel like puking up all over again.

OH YES AND YOU NEED TO

GIVE ME A TEN PAGE REPORT ON PAGES 42

TO 683 BY MONDAY

Getting busted for forging your parents signatures, which aren’t usually full of pencil

drawings, rubber marks and twink.

Being sent to the Principal’s office and having no chance to explain what really happened

BUT IT WAS -

YOUR TEACHER

SAID IT WAS YOU !

THAT’S NOT

WHAT SHE SAID

I WASN’T EVEN -

Having to drag around half a tonne of textbooks which contain a combined four ounces worth of interesting, memorable information.

Visiting army recruiters who think they can con you into the one place you can think of that’s actually

worse than high school.IT’LL BE LIKE LIVING IN A

VIDEO GAME ONLY COOLER!

School buses where rules, regulations and your backpack all routinely get tossed out the window.

Speeches which always cause you to sweat and feel sick – even though your teacher and classmates

never actually listen to a word you’re saying.

I.D. Photos that catch you on your worst day

Teachers who stubbornly try to teach through your class end of period shuffling and bag zipping

HELLO PEOPLE, WE STILL HAVE

THIRTY SECONDS LEFT!

Nervously asking your lifelong crush to sign your yearbook – and getting a message about as heartfelt

as something from a Birthday card.

Annoying teachers who refuse to forget that they once taught your over achieving older brother or sister.

MERIT? YOUR BROTHER MICHAEL GOT

EXCELLENCE FOR THIS SAME TEST!

Substitute teachers who somehow expect your class to behave

despite all the ‘new’ students in the room.

Teachers who tell you ‘just relax and focus’ whiletaking a test, after they’ve spent months telling you

the result will determine the rest of your life

AND FORGET ABOUT THE FACT THAT IF YOU DO POORLY ON THIS TEST, YOU’LL HAVE TO LIVE IN A VAN AND EAT CAT

FOOD.

Dorky backpacks. You might as well just hang a ‘Kick me. I’m a Doofus’ sign.

Scary school toilets where you learn that bullies are for real.

I THOUGHT THIS ONLY

HAPPENED IN THE MOVIES!

Super strict zero tolerance rules on fighting that get you in as much trouble as the thug

who just cheerfully broke your ribs.

I DON’T CARE WHO STARTED IT OR

WHO’S BLEEDING INTERNALLY – THE

RULES ARE THE RULES!

Pointless, freezing cold winter fire drills that makebeing roasted alive seem like an enticing option

Torturous school assemblies that make you beg for death

NOW, FOR THE NEXT THREE HOURS LET’S

GIVE OUR ATTENTION TO

LEARNING ABOUT MANNERS