RESOLVING WORKPLACE CONFLICT

FOR NYC FAMILY RESOURCE CENTERS

File Name: RWC-Slides

• What is Conflict?

• Negative Styles of Conflict

• Causes of Workplace Conflict

• Stages of Conflict

• Accountability

• Coaching and Mediation

• Understanding Conflict Management Styles

• 9 Early Warning Signs of Conflict

• Pondy’s Model of Organizational Conflict

• Strategies of Conflict Resolution

• Role Plays

Today’s Agenda

Thoughts for the day…

• We will be focusing on conflicts that others

are having on your team or between

teams, not your conflicts.

• Because we will be talking about real

conflicts, confidentiality is a must!

What is Workplace Conflict?

Workplace Conflict is

• Conflict occurs when two or more people’s

differences escalate to a significant level

that negatively affects (or is likely to affect)

productivity, quality, safety, service,

morale, or working relationships

All relationships, personal and professional,

experience some kind of conflict…

•Normal

•Natural

•Sometimes even necessary for growth and

development.

Conflict Is Natural

Because people have different:

• Experiences

• Points of view

• Preconceptions

• Styles

• Abilities

• Motivations

What is the biggest impact that unresolved workplace conflict can have on your workplace?

– Shattered trust and relationships

– Decreased productivity

– Weakened/poor communication

– Loss of quality work with families

– Higher turnover of good staff

– Poor staff moral

– No one wants to go above and beyond when

they’re pissed

Negative Styles of Conflict

• Firecracker

– Blow up to sudden anger

– Usually apologizes after the fact

– You know it will happen again

• Cold Shoulder

– Two people who take pride in not communicating with each other

– Contest to see who can hold out the longest

• Backstabbing

– Positive to your face/knife in the back

• Social Zinger

– Throw verbal darts in front of others

– The “I was just teasing” syndrome

• Trivia Fights

– Those who battle over the little things

– Fight over the details

– Seldom get to the real issues

• Having the Last Word

– Must have the last remark

– Conflict is seldom over

Styles of ConflictWhat “bad behavior” do you see your staff do

when in conflict?

Constructive vs. Destructive

Consequences of Conflict

The Causes of Workplace Conflict

Common Roots of Conflict

• Ineffective

communication

• Values clashes

• Culture clashes

• Work policies and

practices

• Adversarial

management

• Noncompliance

• Competition for

scarce resources

• Personality clashes

Ineffective Communication

• Ineffective communication is a major

source of personal conflict

• When different people work closely

together, communication breakdowns are

inevitable

• First determine if the conflict is a

misunderstanding or a true disagreement

Ineffective Communication

• For misunderstanding

– explain your position or provide more details

• For true disagreements

– persuading one or both parties to change

positions may be necessary

– root problem will persist until someone

changes

Value Clashes

• Conflict may be due to value differences

between

– generations

– women and men

– people with different value priorities

– “loyalist” versus “job-hoppers”

Culture Clashes

• Occurs between people

– from other countries

– between people from different parts of the

U.S.

• Work force reflects cultural diversity

• Different cultural traditions can easily

come into conflict in the workplace

• Issues range from simple to complex

Work Policies and Practices

• Conflict may happen when organizations

maintain confusing or arbitrary

– Rules

– Regulations

– Performance standards

• Often surface when managers don’t

understand that employees view policies

as unfair

Adversarial Management

• Conflict can occur when managers view

employees and other managers with

distrust and suspicion

• When managers gossip or complain about

one another to staff

• View others as “the enemy”

• Leads to a lack of respect by employees

• Makes teamwork and cooperation difficult

Noncompliance

• Workers refusing to comply with rules

• Refuse to accept fair share of workload

• Tries to get others to jump on the

bandwagon agonist the rules

• Shows contempt for the work assignments

Competition for Scarce Resources

• Downsizing and cost cutting can lead to

destructive competition for scarce

resources

• When decisions are not clearly explained,

workers suspect coworkers of devious

tactics

Personality Clashes

• People have differing

– Communication styles

– Temperaments

– Attitudes

• People may not be able to identify why

they dislike others.

STAGES OF CONFLICT

Conflict Continuum

Discord

Dispute

Differences

Stages of Conflict: Differences

• While differing ideas, approaches, or

points of view can promote creativity and

innovation, they also can contribute to

misunderstandings and conflict.

• Ideally, this is the stage to nip the conflict

“in the bud”

Stages of Conflict: Discord

• Lack of agreement causes uneasiness

and discomfort. People start to lose sight

of mutual goals and adopt the attitude, “I’m

right, and the other person is wrong.”

• This stage is leading down the road to

destruction.

Stages of Conflict: Dispute

• At this point, the involved parties are

embroiled in an all-out argument, and

everyone just struggles to be heard, to

prove themselves right, and to win,

causing damage to relationships and

ultimately, our work with the families

• If ignored, the damage can be irreversible.

The Goal

• When conflicts escalate beyond

differences, your goal is to minimize

damage (destructive) and promote

discovery (constructive). You’ll do this

by applying one of two intervention

techniques:

– coaching and, if the conflict remains

unresolved,

– mediating

Conflict Continuum

Discord

Dispute

Differences

At what point do these

conflicts start to have a

negative impact on

others and the

organization?

The Tipping Point

Building Accountability

Who is accountable?

This is not your conflict!

• Your job is to:

– Get a better understanding of the cause

– Prevent escalation

– Facilitate resolution

– Diffuse emotions

– Spark discovery

Coaching and MediationTo meet personal needs

Conflict Continuum

Discord

Dispute

Provide coaching.

Mediate resolution.

Promote discovery.Differences

© Development Dimensions International, Inc.

Coach When…• Someone asks for your

help.

• You want to encourage

someone to take the lead.

• You want to develop

someone’s ability to

resolve the conflict.

• People are capable of

working it out.

• People are willing to take

ownership.

Mediate When…• People involved are at a

stalemate.

• Coaching didn’t work, and

the conflict is escalating.

• Productivity and morale

are affected; people can’t

work it out themselves.

• People refuse to work it

out themselves.

• People won’t take

ownership.

As a Coach You…

• Help others see their role in the

conflict and the benefits of resolving it.

• Build others’ ability and confidence

to resolve their own conflicts.

• Encourage people to understand the

other person’s point of view.

• Ask powerful questions to develop solutions,

encourage discovery, and build commitment.

An Effective Mediator...

• Makes it possible for

people to talk about

their differences in a

nonthreatening,

nonjudgmental setting.

• Gets people to focus on the facts, listen

objectively, and commit to resolving the

conflict in everyone’s best interest.

Examples of Ground Rules

• Respect everyone’s feelings and ideas.

• Focus on facts.

• Call a break, if needed.

• Take responsibility for your actions.

• Admit mistakes.

• Don’t interrupt, don’t blame.

• Avoid “you” statements (sounds like blame).

• Build on others’ ideas.

• Make no assumptions.

• Restate the other person’s perspective until understood.

Powerful Questions are mindful questions that:

• Facilitate self-reflection.

• Build awareness of the impact.

• Help challenge assumptions.

• Transform perceptions.

• Uncover different perspectives.

• Seek possible solutions.

• Encourage ownership,

discovery, and discussion.

Understanding Conflict Management Styles

YOU GOT STYLE, BABY!

What's your management style?

Accommodating

People who accommodate are unassertive

and very cooperative.

• Give in during a conflict

• Acknowledge they made a mistake/decide

it was no big deal

• Put relationships first, ignore issues, and

try to keep peace at any price

• Effective when the other person or party

has a better plan or solution

Avoiding

People who avoid conflict are generally unassertive and uncooperative.

• Avoid the conflict entirely or delay their response instead of voicing concerns

• Can create some space in an emotional environment

• Not a good long-term strategy

Collaborating

Collaborators are both assertive and

cooperative.

• Assert own views while also listening to

other views and welcoming differences

• Seek a “win-win” outcome

• Identify underlying concerns of a conflict

• Create room for multiple ideas

• Requires time and effort from both parties

Competing

People who approach conflict in a competitive way assert themselves and do not cooperate while pursuing their own concerns at another’s expense.

• Takes on a “win-lose” approach where one person wins and one person loses

• Does not rely on cooperation with the other party to reach outcome

• May be appropriate for emergencies when time is important

Compromising

Compromisers are moderately assertive and

moderately cooperative.

• Try to find fast, mutually acceptable solutions

to conflicts that partially satisfy both parties

• Results in a “lose-lose” approach

• Appropriate temporary solution

• Considered an easy way out when you need

more time to collaborate to find a better

solution

Which one is best?

There is no BEST way to handle conflict. Each conflict is different and requires a different response.

As a society, we teach:

“Two heads are better than one.” (Collaborating)

“Kill your enemies with kindness.” (Accommodating)

“Split the difference.” (Compromising)

“Leave well enough alone.” (Avoiding)

“Might makes right.” (Competing)

Conclusion

• Different conflict management styles may be used when faced with different situations.

• Knowing yourself and fully understanding each situation will help you understand the conflict management style needed.

• Knowing your own style will help you better manage other people’s conflicts.

9 Early Warning Signs of Conflict

A conflict is a-brewin’!

1. Dysfunctional meetings

• Do staff meetings end up being gripe

sessions instead of brainstorming

sessions?

• Do you or staff start to dread these

meetings?

• Are there some people who always seem

to dominate the conversation while others

appear annoyed or distracted?

2. Anger, anger…and anger

• Any anger, but especially that which is an

over-reaction, needs to be addressed

immediately. Anger is rarely the response

for a first-time upset.

• The same person seems angry all the time

or with certain people.

3. Productivity slowdowns

• When people are not happy with the work

environment, they tend to focus less on

their work.

• Ask yourself if there has been a decline in

the person’s or group of people’s

productivity and try to pinpoint when it

started.

4. High turn-over

• If employees aren't sticking around, there

is a good reason.

• Nobody enjoys looking for a job, so the

fact that people are leaving indicates an

internal problem.

5. Inappropriate communications

• This can be in the form of emails that are

rude or use inappropriate language.

• Rudeness in speech or a disregard for

another's opinion is an indicator that

something is going to blow up soon.

• Passive-aggressive statements

• Mumbling behind someone’s back

• Other examples?

6. Anxiety

• Are there certain individuals who seem

anxious or on edge most of the time?

• They avoid social interactions, are always

doubting their work or asking more than

the normal amount of questions.

• Anxiety is often an indicator that there may

be an issue festering on an interpersonal

level.

7. Clique forming

• There seems to be a division into cliques

• The same employees always seem to

team up on projects, then the team or

department isn't functioning as one body

and is not being as productive as possible

• Gossip often begins when cliques form

• Others are intentionally left out of the

group

8. Repetitive disagreements

• Does it seem that the same employees

always disagree?

• Are people beign disrespectful when they

argue with one another

• Is the conflict often over petty matters?

• Then there is a communication issue that

needs to be confronted immediately.

9. Loss of trust

• Trust is essential in any work environment,

whether between employees or between

employees and management.

• If there seems to be distrust within the

team, it needs to be addressed.

• How do you know some staff aren’t

trusting one another?

Pondy's Model of Organizational

ConflictConflict is a process that consists of

five sequential stages

Pondy's Model of Organizational Conflict

• Stage 1: Latent conflict: no outright conflict exists, but there is a potential for conflict because of several latent factors

– Sources of conflict include:

• Interdependence

• Difference in goals and priorities

• Bureaucratic factors

• Staff are evaluated differently or given different amounts of attention by supervisor

• Staff experience varying and different levels of work stress

• Staff become aware of conflict and begin to analyze it

– This is the stage when one party perceives the other to be likely to frustrate his or her goals. The case result from the parties misunderstanding each other's true position. Such conflict can be resolved by improving communication between the groups.

– Staff begin to disagree and everyone begins to notice.

Pondy's Model of Organizational Conflict Stage 2: Perceived conflict:

Pondy’s Model of Organizational Conflict (cont.)

• Stage 3: Felt conflict:

– Staff respond emotionally to each other, and attitudes polarize into “us-versus-them”

– Cooperation between individuals decreases

– What began as a small problem escalates into huge conflict

Pondy’s Model of Organizational Conflict (cont.)

• Stage 4: Manifest conflict: Staff

members try to get back at each other

– Fighting and open aggression

– Passive aggression – doing nothing

– Organizational or team effectiveness

suffers

– What are other ways staff hurt one

another or the team?

Pondy’s Model of Organizational Conflict (cont.)

• Stage 5: Conflict aftermath: conflict

is resolved in some way

– If sources of conflict are not resolved, the

dispute will arise again

– How do we make sure this conflict

doesn’t repeat itself?

Utilize the three W’s of communication• Who

– Always communicate with the key person(s)

• When– Discuss the issue within 24 hours

– This is not necessarily “the sooner the better”

– Prepare your thoughts

• Where– Consider a neutral location

– Equal footing

• Basic Acknowledgements

Non-verbal responses

• Silence

We are better speakers than listeners– Use silence to get a response from someone

• Questions

It tells the speaker you’re interested

It says you want “more”

• Constructive Criticism

– Usually applied to performance that needs improvement

– Focus on the issue, not the person

– Plan ahead and handle carefully

– Sandwich method

– Performance appraisals

• Destructive Criticism

– Intentionally used

– Causes conflict

– Attacks the person vs. performance or behavior

– Commonly used in politics

– Usually a result of anger

6 Steps to Conflict Resolution Overview

• There are six steps to the Conflict Resolution Process:

1. Clarify what the disagreement is.

2. Establish a common goal for both parties.

3. Discuss ways to meet the common goal.

4. Determine the barriers to the common goal.

5. Agree on the best way to resolve the conflict.

6. Acknowledge the agreed solution and determine the responsibilities each party has in the resolution.

• This process should be completed by all parties in the conflict together.

(“Conflict Resolution Skills for HR Professionals” by Marla Bradley)

Step 1

Clarify what the disagreement is.

• Clarifying involves getting to the heart of the conflict.

• The goal of this step is to get both sides to agree on what the disagreement is.

Tips:

• Discuss what needs are not being met on both sides of the conflict. Ensure mutual understanding.

• Obtain as much information as possible on each side’s point of view.

• Continue to ask questions until you are certain that you, and each side of the conflict understand the issue.

Step 2

Establish a common goal for both parties.

• In this step of the process, both sides agree on the desired outcome of the conflict.

Tips:

• Discuss what each party would like to see happen.

• Find a commonality in both sides as a starting point for a shared outcome. That commonality can be as simple as “both sides want to end the conflict.”

Step 3

Discuss ways to meet the common goal.

• Both sides work together to discuss ways that they can meet the goal they agreed upon in step 2.

Tips:

• Brainstorm different approaches to meet the goal.

• Discuss until all the options are exhausted.

Step 4

Determine the barriers to the common goal.

• In this step of the process, the two parties acknowledge what has brought them into the conflict.

Tips:

• Ask: “If we could have the outcome that we both wanted, how would that look?”

• Define what can and cannot be changed about the situation.

• For the items that cannot be changed, discuss ways of getting around those road blocks.

Step 5

Agree on the best way to resolve the conflict.

• Both parties come to a conclusion on the best resolution.

Tips:

• Determine a solution that both sides can live with.

• Discuss the responsibility each party has in maintaining the solution.

• Settle on a means of ensuring that this conflict does not arise again.

Step 6

Acknowledge the agreed solution and determine the responsibilities each party has in the resolution.

• Both sides own their responsibility in the resolution of the conflict and express aloud what they have agreed to.

Tips:

• Get both parties to acknowledge a win-win situation.

• Ask both parties to use phrases such as “I agree to…” and “I acknowledge that I have responsibility for…”

Role Plays

Thank you.