25 Things Y’all Need To Know About The South

Mark MichelsonBorn in Atlanta, Raised Throughout The South

1. Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's"

is plural possessive.

2. There are at least 8 distinct Southern dialects and hundreds of distinct

cultures. (Ain’t no place like Louisiana)

3. Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't

understand you either – but they can tell if you ain’t from ‘round here.

4. The first Southern statement to creep into

a transplanted Northerner's

vocabulary is the adjective "big ole," as in “big ole” truck or

"big ole" boy.

Most Northerners begin their Southern- influenced dialect this way. All of them are in

denial about it.

5. The North has double last names,The South has double first names.

6. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should stay clear out

of the way.

7. The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,The South has fried green ‘mater samiches.

8. The North has lobsters,The South has crawdads.

Pinch the tails and suck the heads

9. The North has coffee houses and

diners.The South has Waffle Houses.

Open everywhere 24 hours a day

10. The North calls soft drinks pop or soda. In the South all soft drinks are referred to

as Co-Cola.

11. The worlds largest drive-in "The Varsity" serves two miles of hot dogs, a ton of onions, 2,500 pounds of potatoes, 5,000 fried pies and 300 gallons of chili every day

12. It’s “Cheese Grits”, not “Cheesy Grits”

and they go with just about anything

13. There are 71 streets in Atlanta with a variant of "Peachtree" in their name.

14. Marta (our subway) will get you close, but you can’t get from here to there

15. And if you do take Marta, don’t expect to stand on the street wavin’ at taxi’s and

have them actually stop for you

16. Atlanta has the busiest airport in the world. Even if you die in the South you will

likely have to change planes in Atlanta.

17. DELTA is an acronym for Doesn’t Ever Leave The Airport

A.K.A. Delaying Everyone, Lying To All

18. We are polite to a fault - case in point: When we say “bless her heart” we really

mean “she’s a stupid idiot.”

19. When a Southern lady accommodates your request with a sweet, sweet ”Sure

thing honey." She really means, “OK bitch."

20. When someone says “Yes sir” or “Yes ma’am” it doesn’t mean they think you are old

21. Not all music from the South is country

REM, B-52’s, OutKast, Allman Bros, Widespread Panic, Ray Charles,

John Mayer, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Black Crowes, ZZ Top

22. Many of the largest brands in the world are from the South

23. Newt Gingrich is not from Georgia – he was born in Pennsylvania

24. Not all Southern belles sit under the

shade umbrella on the porch sipping mint

juleps

25. There are Yankees and Damn Yankees:

Yankees come to visit Damn Yankees come to stay

All y’all come back now, ya hear!