Stress & Anxiety

• Zoom Presentation for Parents and Children of NIDES

• April 27th, 2020

• By: Leanne Webster Brenner, SD 71 School Counsellor

Kids: draw a picture of your happy place … where you feel calm and relaxed.

Stress ~ Definition & Cause

•Stress can be “good” at times – such as when we have a baby or get a promotion at work. Usually, stress gets a bad rap and commonly refers to times when life’s demands exceed a person’s resources to handle them. • Time pressures, work, relationships, health, finances are examples

• Our current world state is causing all of us stress to varying degrees

Anxiety ~ definition & cause

•Anxiety causes us to focus our worries and/or fears on things that we perceive as threatening, real or not.

•Anxiety and worry are related but not the exact same thing; they differ in duration, intensity, frequency, and impact.

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201603/10-crucial-differences-between-worry-and-anxiety

Ways a Child’s Anxiety Can Show Up

• Anger

• Difficulty sleeping; constantly tired

• Defiance

• Avoidance ** makes anxiety much worse!

• Lack of focus

• Negativity

• Overplanning

Similarities

• Stress and anxiety both activate our ‘stress response’ (fight/flight/freeze) which is the body’s survival mechanism that kicks into gear during life-threatening situations. The stress response prepares our body for action (fight, flight, freeze) by sending more blood to the muscles, increasing heart rate, slowing digestion, hormones surge, sweating, etc..

• The physical effects of long-term stress and anxiety are the same in that both experiences trigger the release of stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline. (When the Body Says No, by Gabor Mate)

• Strategies for managing stress and anxiety are the same.

Brain Science for Kids

Who is the boss of you?- 3 guesses!

Brain Facts

• Your brain is about the size of two fists.

• You can strengthen your brain just like your strengthen your muscles because the brain gets good at what it practices.

• Your brain thinks many thoughts each day. Guess how many?

• Some of these thoughts are helpful and some are not.

3 important parts (from MindUP program)

A m y g d a l a : Job is to keep us safe. It reacts instinctively and powerfully to protect us when it senses a threat. It triggers release of hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) to use in fight/flight/freeze mode.

H i p p o c a m p u s : plays a role in storing our memories and is also associated with learning and emotions.

P r e f r o n t a l C o r t e x : our ‘thinker’ – it helps us manage time and our emotions, solve problems, make good decisions, and calm big emotions (among many other things).

http://teacher.scholastic.com/products/mindup/pdfs/MindUP_

K-2_Sample_Poster.pdf

What does it mean to flip your lid?So angry! Furious! Out of control!

You lose the use of your PFC (wise thinking part of your brain)

Hand Model of the Brain (Dan Siegel)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTnCMxEnnv8

https://www.anxietycanada.com/learn-about-anxiety/anxiety-in-children/

Strategies

Deep, controlled breathing

In the moment …

• Meet your child where they are. “Connect before you re-direct.” • Acknowledge and validate their feelings. • Take space and time to calm down

• Do not try to rationalize the situation or worry with your child. Telling them there is nothing to worry about will NOT work.

• Help them ride out the ‘wave’ and resist the temptation to rescue them. Avoidance makes anxiety worse.

• Be their PFC → mirror neurons!

More strategies …

• Deep breathing (practiced ahead of time) is scientifically proven to calm the stress response when practiced repeatedly.

• Help ground your child by directing their attention to the here-and-now.

• Name 3 things you see, 3 things you hear, 3 things you feel (feet on ground, breeze, clothes, etc).

• When calm and PFC is ready to problem-solve, talk it out.

• What happened? What thoughts popped into your head at that time? How were you feeling?

• Parents, try “name it to tame it” strategy (Dan Siegel) https://heartmindonline.org/resources/strong-emotions-name-it-to-tame-it

• Make a proactive plan for next time

And a few more …

• Exercise, yoga

• Fresh air and nature

• Good quality sleep

• Regular routines

• Music

• Journaling

• Activities that get us into the flow: art, crafts, building, creating, reading, anything that brings us joy and we get lost in

• Mindfulness / meditation:

• Has been proven to strengthen the PFC, decrease the over-activity of the amygdala, and strengthen the connection between the two

• https://www.stopbreathethink.com/

• https://insighttimer.com/

• Calm.com

• Inner Explorer

Continued…

Remember• The brain gets good at what it practices. Make sure it is practicing the ‘good stuff’!

• Anxiety can be caused by the fear that you don’t have what it takes to get through it –challenge your unhelpful thinking!

Resources

• Anxiety Canada https://anxietycanada.com/learn-about-anxiety/anxiety-in-children/

• Kelty Mental Health https://keltymentalhealth.ca/

• EASE (Everyday Anxiety Strategies for Educators) https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/health/managing-your-health/mental-health-substance-use/child-teen-mental-health/ease

• Dr. Bruce Perry https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pulling-through/202004/the-pandemic-toolkit-

parents-need?eml

• Dr. Gordon Neufeld https://neufeldinstitute.org/taking-care-of-children-in-alarming-times/

• Link to a ‘workbook’ to help children process the pandemic and its impacts

https://otherlifelessons.com/a/downloads/-/25a6cb157825cf39/e55af158e26b9be3

• Unicef – for Covid-19 https://www.unicef.org/media/67211/file

• https://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-children-metaphor-put-shoes-right-beside/

Book Recommendations

• Wilma Jean the Worry Machine, by Julia Cook https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZtVBvnOM6o

• Jack’s Worry, by Sam Zuppardi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ0wyzjr5mg

• When My Worries Get too Big! A Relaxation Book for Children Who Live With Anxiety, by Kari Dunn Buron.

Includes the 5-point scale. https://www.amazon.ca/When-Worries-Get-Too-Big/dp/1931282927

• Hey, Warrior by Karen Young

• Garcia, G. (2018, January 1). Listening to my body. [Video file]. Excellent video for K-3 that helps kids

understand the connection between body and feelings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B6Rik-TA-Q

• Adult Reads: Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons