Teaching The Jane Schaffer Writing Process

Gerry Matsukane

Serra Catholic School

2012

Format

I. Format – Provides scaffolding for student ideas

(see handout A)

Heading

A. Proper Heading– Name:– Teacher’s name:– Subject/title:– Date:

Colors

B. Colors:– Black ink for introductory and concluding

paragraph– Blue ink for sub-topics- which are the topic and

concluding sentences for the body paragraphs.– Red ink for the concrete details (facts,

examples, quotes)– Green ink for personal commentary/opinion

3

Paragraphs

C. Four paragraphs1. Introduction – 3-4 sentence: hook, thesis, 3rd sentence (40

words)

2. Body paragraph = 8 sentences (approximately 100 words)• Topic sentence

• 2 chunks (CD, CM, CM) + (CD, CM, CM) = 6 sentences

• Concluding sentence

3. Body paragraph = 8 sentences (approximately 100 words)• Topic sentence

• 2 chunks (CD, CM, CM) + (CD, CM, CM) = 6 sentences

• Concluding sentence

4. Conclusion paragraph (40 words)

Process

II. Process – The process is more important than the product! In the first trimester, spend your time teaching, modeling, and practicing the process!!!

5

Prewriting

A. Prewriting!!! Model, model, model!!!1. Jarhead, Brainstorm, Idea Fest – to develop and

review central topic or prompta. Mind map

b. Poster

c. Small group discussion

d. Whole group discussion, teacher models on board.

e. Jigsaw

f. Homework assignment

g. Gallery walk

Example of Mind Map

Brainstorm…Organize

2. After brainstorming, look at the facts and organize them into subtopics using colors or circles, squares, etc.

Decide which sub topics standout and use them for the focus of your two body paragraphs.

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DEMONSTRATION – CALIFORNIA

DEMONSTRATION – CALIFORNIA

Create Thesis

3. Create the THESIS from your brainstormA thesis is: Topic – Opinion – Sub-topics.

Example: Topic opinion

California is the perfect vacation spot for families because of Sub-topic #1 Sub-topic #2

its natural resources and amazing theme parks.

For a complex thesis, the student can use TWO sentences

Example:California is the perfect vacation spot for families. The many natural features of the state and the multitude of theme parks provide entertainment for everyone.

When writing a thesis about literature, include the title and the author of the literary work, then state your opinion and the sub-topics.

Example:In the novel, Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbit, the author challenges the notion that it is a good thing to be able to live forever. She does this through the different perspectives of Tuck and the Man in the Yellow Suit.

Bubble Cluster

4. Create a BUBBLE CLUSTER

5. Find the two really good facts for each sub-topic. Make sure they are significant; otherwise, commentary is difficult.

ThesisTopic Sentence Topic Sentence

Concrete Detail

Concrete DetailConcrete DetailConcrete Detail

12 2

33 3

3

Bubble Cluster

Tuck Everlasting:Eternal life is not always

a good thing

The view of the man In the yellow suit

Concrete DetailConcrete DetailConcrete Detail Concrete Detail

2

33 3

3

1Tuck’sPerspective

2

• Concrete details must support the topic sentence

• Concrete details are very specific and provable

• They can be quotes, examples, or facts from the story if you are writing a literary analysis

• They can be factual information if you are writing social studies or science report

• They are NOT opinion

Concrete Details

At this point in the essay, the student knows the general outline of where he/she is going

B. It is time to :Shape the Essay (flesh it out):

To do this he/she must put the opening paragraph on hold and concentrate on the two body paragraphs. (see handout B)

ShapingFill out the “flesh” on the body

paragraph

1. Topic Sentence:Create a topic sentence for the first paragraph from the BLUE bubble (sub-topic) of the bubble cluster.

2. Concrete Detail:Add facts/examples/quotes from the RED bubbles of the bubble cluster.

Concrete DetailNote: see handout A

a. Two concrete details per paragraph for a literary essay

b. Quotes should not be more than 10 words.

c. A first quote can start “For example,”…(REMEMBER COMMA)

d. A second quote needs a lead in such as…another example of…to

remind the reader about the topic. (handout C)

e. If students want to paraphrase…allow one concrete detail that is a

quote and one concrete detail that is a paraphrase. They need to

learn how to use quotes. Be careful that the paraphrase is indeed a

fact and not their opinion!

f. Cite all quotes using MLA format.

g. Advanced students should be able to “weave” into quotes.

Handout E

Commentary

3. Begin writing commentary. This section requires practice. It is the hardest section, developmentally, for a lot of students.a. Commentary does not include facts, it ties the examples to the

thesis and the topic sentence.

b. It should not be too vague or generic.

c. Students can use (this shows that…) in order to help them write in commentary, but this should be avoided in the final draft.

d. Students write TWO commentaries for each fact/example/quote in a literary analysis essay. In a science or social studies essay, students write multiple facts with occasional commentary

e. Students can practice CD and commentary before they ever write a Jane Schaffer essay.

• See packet of “activities”

Cinderella

Commentary

4. How to Write Commentarya. The first commentary should directly reference what

is going on in the actual example. This is where a lot of students make generic comments and do NOT directly explain/address the example.

b. The second commentary should relate the example to the position of the writer. In other words, it should include a reference to the thesis and the topic sentence. (Handout C and D)

Notes

TEACHER NOTES:• Commentary should be practiced before students ever

get to writing a Jane Schaffer. Students need continual practice differentiating between fact and opinion. This can be done in all subjects AND in all types of writing. It can be done as homework or part of a test. It is a strategy for teaching critical thinking.

• (See packet of “activities)

Concluding Sentence

5. Concluding sentence – this sentence should sound final and should restate the topic sentence without sounding repetitive.

DEMONSTRATE webbing off of the topic sentence

• One of Harry Potter’s main advantages in fighting Voldemort is that he has unusual friends that he can always rely on to assist him in achieving his goals.

Webbing Harry Potter T.S.

NOW: Go Back to the Beginning

6. Opening Paragraph: 3-4 sentencesA. Hook – Depending on child’s development, there are

several types of hooks that can be used.1. Question

2. Quote

3. Simile

4. Thematic – this type of hook should always be used in 7th & 8th grade. A thematic hook sounds like a quote but is from the child’s own creativity. It should address a universal theme in the essay. Use the thesis to find the theme.

5. Hook with precis

Create Thematic Hook

• Friendship

• Courage

• Dynamic Character

• Coming of Age

• Redemption

• Hope

• Personal Integrity

Next develop a thesis:

B. Thesis – state the thesis including the title of the piece of literature in a literary essay.

C. Third sentence – can be part two of the thesis or, in an advanced student, can be a transition sentence into the first topic sentence.

In high school they will be expected to include a precis and transition, so this should be practiced in 8th grade by second or third trimester.

Opening…

D. The Opening paragraph should resemble an upside down triangle going from the universal to the specific.

Hook

Thesis

3rd Sentence

Concluding Paragraph

7. Concluding Paragraph – minimum three sentences (40-60 words)A. No new ideas or facts, mostly student’s commentary

about what he/she feels he has proven. I tell students to think….”My whole essay shows that…….” so that they don’t add new information.

(see additional packet for extra help with concluding paragraph)

Concluding Paragraph

B. The concluding paragraph should resemble a proper triangle, going from the specific to the universal.1. Begin addressing what you’ve proven through your

examples.

2. Move to addressing your thesis and subtopics.

3. Finally address your HOOK.– Should not sound repetitive.– Last line should have impact.

Publishing

– Proof– Edit– More than 1 Draft– Meet With Teacher– Polish– Publish

Assessment

• See Assessment Packet