Post on 30-Nov-2014
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Mother-Daughter Relationships
Jennifer AlzonaJackeline CuarteroJanel GaylanChristine HubillaRoma Silva
INTRODUCTION
Expounding the definition of a mother
Daughterhood as a vital part of the family
Taking a look at the typical Filipino family
Connecting the two roles in the family
INTRODUCTION
What is a mother? Biological Role Domestic Role Social Role Moral Role Spiritual Role
As a unique human being.
INTRODUCTION
Daughter, a growing woman in society. Why is she also a vital part?
Reared towards?
A unique being too
Insert clips and photos here
FINDINGS & ANALYSISA Survey for Filipino girls ranging from the age of 13-28
years old
Aim of the survey: Have a picture of what the mother-
daughter relationship is today in the modern era
Reveal issues present in the relationship Gather data as to what their relationship is
based upon And how it is existing
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
Methodology Convenience Sampling
Gathered data among our circle of people Electronic and Paper Surveys Sample group total: 100 Survey includes 10 questions
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
57
7
31
16
1. How would you describe your rela-tionship with your mother?
We're very closeWe always argue and we can't stand each otherWe're not too close but we get along pretty wellWe try to both pay our distanceOthersWe’re very close but we always argueWell, we *were* very close. (Deceased)We argue a lot but we get along very wellMost of the time we fight but we’re closeShe passed away and we didn’t get a chance to be closerWe’re close but she’s always busy
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
66
15
44
11
2. How often do you see your mother?
EverydayOnly on weekendsOnce a monthOnce a yearShe's out of the coun-try
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
32
36
4
21
7
3. Do you have a special bonding time with your mother?
Yes, very often Yes, but only occa-sionally when we both have time
Yes, but only because she forces me to
No, I want to but she doesn't have time
No, I don't want to spend time with her
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
16
21
24
11
7
6
67
2
4. From a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being lowest and 10 being the highest, rate how much you think you and your mother know each
other10987654321
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
21
3811
25
4
1
5. Among all your family members, who are you closest to?
FatherMotherBrotherSisterGrandparent/sAunt/Uncle
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
63
48
30
2321
79
56
6
6. What are you most comfortable to share with your mother? Check all those
that apply.Daily experiences, problems, and concernsMajor and significant life alter-ing decisionsFamily problems, issues, and concernsLove lifeSocial lifeSchool related experiences, problems and concernsSubjects not related to either of you (e.g. news, showbiz, weather)Others:NoneRandom thingsWe sometimes make chismis
Whatever comes on
my mindNothing, we don’t talkChika
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
7. Do you seek advice from your mother?
Yes, mothers know bestYes, she's also my best friendNo, it's none of her businessNo, she might inves-tigate me insteadNo, she doesn't have time
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
Yes No0
10
20
30
40
50
60
8. Do you share your problems/secrets/concerns with your mother? Why or why
not?
8. Do you share your problems/secrets/concerns with your mother? Why or why not?
FINDINGS & ANALYSISYes: (Best 15 answers)
Concerns and problems, she gives great advices
Social problem because I want her to know it
Because, she knows what advice will give to me
If I can’t take it anymore I trust her yes because she usually has
already experinced what im going through and knows what to do.
She might understand me
Yes because I know she can keep secrets
She understands all my problems in life
She’s my Mom I can’t help it, I have a big
mouth She knows everything about
me Because we treat each other
as siblings. This relational dynamic makes it easier for us to share anything :)
Because its important
FINDINGS & ANALYSISNo:(Best 15 answers)
I’m shy I’m not close with her I can’t trust her, hahahah I am just too shy to tell her :D We seldom have communication
and sometimes when we talk, we only talk about important matters
It’s awkward because I know that she'll
misunderstand (I've already tried it and she did misunderstand and scolded me instead)
because she don’t understand life nowadays
She becomes so curious about my life after saying only a bit. She wanted to expand it as big as the universe.
sometimes. cause she can't understand me most of the time.
It’s too personal BECAUSE SHE WON’T
UNDERSTAND ME. co`z she doesn`t want or even
tried to listen to me so why bother share
Don’t want to worry her No time to talk to each other.
And I'm not actually comfortable telling her my problems.
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
16
3622
13
3 8
2
9. How often do you approach your mother? Very often, even just to tell
her I love her
Very often, I try to make "kulitan" with her
Often, I try to always be present with her
Often, but only because I need something from her
Sometimes, when I only have an issue with school
Rarely, only when I need something from her
FINDINGS & ANALYSIS
Yes No0
10
20
30
40
50
60
70
80
10. Do you desire to be closer to your mother? Why or why not?
10. Do you desire to be closer to your mother? Why or why not?
FINDINGS & ANALYSISYes: (Best 15 answers)
to be comfortable with each other & to be like best friends
I want to be more open to her and also to my father
I am always out of the house because of school, I would want to give her my spare time if I have nothing else to do.
because in our veins same blood runs
because i want her to fully understand me
It'll be the best if this mother-daughter relationship thingy is stronger than how it is now.
I miss her and all the things she did for me in the past, i miss how she cared for me and all, now that it has been 4years and counting that we've been apart, i miss all the stuff that mothers and daughters do
Because She is my Life!
FINDINGS & ANALYSISYes: (Best 15 answers)
I'm not really sure why but I want to.
because she's my mother whether I like it or not / whether I turn the world upside down
We're at fine distance these days.
because she is also a female and become a teenager so i think she will understand what i am going through. And also, i want us to be comfortable with each other all the time.
coz she's my mom BECAUSE I WANT HER TO
LOVE ME coz as we know mothers
are the only individuals who can understands you no matter and be there for you even though you didn`t ask them to do it. and i want to be close to my mother coz i`m so like "inggit " to some of my friends whom they have good relationship with there mothers.
FINDINGS & ANALYSISNo: (Best 15 answers)
we are fine just like this :)
that’s fine Because we have
different personalities and its hard
I wish she wasn’t annoying.
'cause ses always mad at me :(
We’re pretty close now.
We`re super close already. What more else could I desire for?
Things might get more awkward
FINDINGS & ANALYSISNo: (Best 15 answers)
I’m used to this relationship
She doesn't know how to appreciate, that's why i don't like
no. .we're very close now. .but making me closer to ehr just makes it harder for her to let make my own
decisions as an adult we're already close :) We're already close.
Any closer would be impossible
we're fine just the way we are
we’re already on good terms
ANALYSIS The relationship today of a typical Filipino mother
and daughter is close, although there are still many who just keep up with the relationship as standard roles
Issues found present: Arguments Distant relationships Lack of time Fear of awkwardness/embarrassment Misunderstanding Personality differences
ANALYSIS
These relationships, supported by our findings, are based upon: Frequency of togetherness Special bonds formed by moments and
experiences Family closeness Openness to share Social standards (mothers know best) Trust (asking for advice, seeking for help) Concept of friendship even in the family
ANALYSIS
These relationships exists: As a special bond
Friendship Trust Love and togetherness
As a part of the family Simple give and take relationship Making it work Getting along
As a biological link Merely trying to stand each other Arguing and fighting a lot Other issues that make the tie simply a biological link
ANALYSIS Moral Dilemmas that could exist in these
relationships:
If the mother is abroad, working as an OFW, will she choose to go back to the country to be closer to her children or to stay abroad to earn more money so that she can provide sustenance to her children.
If the mother wants her daughter to be happy, would she let her be and do everything she wants which would make her love her mother more at the moment or would she put discipline which would make the mother look bad to her daughter but would protect her from the things that might endanger her.
ANALYSIS
If the mother grew up with parents that disciplined her with an iron fist all her life, would she do the same thing because she knows it made her who she is now or would she take her chances and do things differently but she doesn’t know what the outcome would be.
If the daughter, as a younger child was treated harshly for a long time by her mother but then as years came has treated her for better, would pay respect to her mother or would she do differently as her mother commands her.
CHURCH TEACHINGSChildren, the Precious Gift of Marriage Thus the couple, while giving themselves to one another,
give not just themselves but also the reality of children, who are a living reflection of their love, a permanent sign of conjugal unity and a living and inseparable synthesis of their being a father and a mother.
When they become parents, spouses receive from God the gift of a new responsibility. Their parental love is called to become for the children the visible sign of the very love of God, "from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named."(36)
From the Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio of Pope John Paul II to the Episcopate, to the Clergy and to the Faithful of the whole Catholic Church on the Role of Christian Family in the Modern World
CHURCH TEACHINGS
This tells us that: Children are the reflection of love from the
marriage of two people. Therefore, the daughters are reflection of
love of the mother and father. If they are the reflection of love, it should be
shown and so the child himself/herself should be the representation of the married couple
Thus the child should be brought up by the same love that produced their child
CHURCH TEACHINGSFamily, Become What You Are Each family finds within itself a summons that cannot be
ignored, and that specifies both its dignity and its responsibility: family, become what you are.And since in God's plan it has been established as an "intimate community of life and love,"(44) the family has the mission to become more and more what it is, that is to say, a community of life and love, in an effort that will find fulfillment, as will everything created and redeemed, in the Kingdom of God
Hence the family has the mission to guard, reveal and communicate love, and this is a living reflection of and a real sharing in God's love for humanity and the love of Christ the Lord for the Church His bride.
CHURCH TEACHINGS
Thus, with love as its point of departure and making constant reference to it, the recent Synod emphasized four general tasks for the family:
1) forming a community of persons;2) serving life;3) participating in the development of society;4) sharing in the life and mission of the Church.
Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio of Pope John Paul II to the Episcopate, to the Clergy and to the Faithful of the whole Catholic Church on the Role of Christian Family in the Modern World
CHURCH TEACHINGS
This tells us that: The family has a role to promote God’s Kingdom on earth.
It produces beings which are formed by love, to be what they are and do what they are supposed to, which is: to form a community as a basic building block of society
To serve life by being what they are, doing their own roles
As for our topic mother-and-daughter, this relationship as taught by the encyclical, should be able to not only promote love but generate love in itself by doing what they are supposed to: The daughter should honor her mother The mother should rear the child in God’s love
CHURCH TEACHINGSThe Rights and Roles of Women In this perspective the Synod devoted special attention to
women, to their rights and role within the family and society. In the same perspective are also to be considered men as husbands and fathers, and likewise children and the elderly.
Above all it is important to underline the equal dignity and responsibility of women with men. This equality is realized in a unique manner in that reciprocal self-giving by each one to the other and by both to the children which is proper to marriage and the family. What human reason intuitively perceives and acknowledges is fully revealed by the word of God: the history of salvation, in fact, is a continuous and luminous testimony of the dignity of women.
Synod - a special council of church members that holds regular meetings to discuss religious issues (Encarta Dictionary)
CHURCH TEACHINGS
In creating the human race "male and female,"(64) God gives man and woman an equal personal dignity, endowing them with the inalienable rights and responsibilities proper to the human person. God then manifests the dignity of women in the highest form possible, by assuming human flesh from the Virgin Mary, whom the Church honors as the Mother of God, calling her the new Eve and presenting her as the model of redeemed woman
Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio of Pope John Paul II to the Episcopate, to the Clergy and to the Faithful of the whole Catholic Church on the Role of Christian Family in the Modern World
CHURCH TEACHINGS
This tells us that: Women, in society and in the Church are
given an equal importance with men. The greatest example of this is with Mother
Mary and the role He gave her beginning in the Mystery of the Annunciation.
Being a mother is one of the greatest roles, since it was the one with the major significance on how Jesus was born and come to save the World
CHURCH TEACHINGS
Women and Society There is no doubt that the equal dignity and responsibility
of men and women fully justifies women's access to public functions. On the other hand the true advancement of women requires that clear recognition be given to the value of their maternal and family role, by comparison with all other public roles and all other professions. Furthermore, these roles and professions should be harmoniously combined, if we wish the evolution of society and culture to be truly and fully human.
Therefore the Church can and should help modern society by tirelessly insisting that the work of women in the home be recognized and respected by all in its irreplaceable value.
CHURCH TEACHINGS This is of particular importance in education: for possible
discrimination between the different types of work and professions is eliminated at its very root once it is clear that all people, in every area, are working with equal rights and equal responsibilities. The image of God in man and in woman will thus be seen with added luster.
While it must be recognized that women have the same right as men to perform various public functions, society must be structured in such a way that wives and mothers are not in practice compelled to work outside the home, and that their families can live and prosper in a dignified way even when they themselves devote their full time to their own family.
Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio of Pope John Paul II to the Episcopate, to the Clergy and to the Faithful of the whole Catholic Church on the Role of Christian Family in the Modern World
CHURCH TEACHINGS
This tells us that: The tasks of a regular housewife are just as
important as every occupation. It is an important vocation, that without it, there’d be
no one to raise the largest personalities in our society today.
The Church recognizes this role and does not discriminate against it. Therefore as members of the Church, we should also give importance to those who choose this for their life and do not ridicule them.
We must pay high respects to these people, including our own mothers so that we may set an example and also educate others about this.
CHURCH TEACHINGS
By fostering and exercising a tender and strong concern for every child that comes into this world, the Church fulfills a fundamental mission: for she is called upon to reveal and put forward anew in history the example and the commandment of Christ the Lord, who placed the child at the heart of the Kingdom of God:
"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.“
CHURCH TEACHINGS
Acceptance, love, esteem, many-sided and united material, emotional, educational and spiritual concern for every child that comes into this world should always constitute a distinctive, essential characteristic of all Christians, in particular of the Christian family: thus children, while they are able to grow "in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and man,“ offer their own precious contribution to building up the family community and even to the sanctification of their parents.
Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio of Pope John Paul II to the Episcopate, to the Clergy and to the Faithful of the whole Catholic Church on the Role of Christian Family in the Modern World
CHURCH TEACHINGS
This tell us that: The children should be brought up in
contrast to build God’s Kingdom, for the children are at the center of God’s plan.
These children, and in our case the daughters, should be able to grow up to be the next in line in serving as important women in society that would in turn promote the same family roles.
CHURCH TEACHINGSFrom the Bible Motherly Love towards her Child
Women should be taught to love their children. Children are a blessing from God, not an unwanted burden
Titus 2:4
Mother’s should do what is best for their children, setting self-occupancy aside and their other doings to give time to nurture and bring up their children. They should be treated as gifts, for they are a reflection of love and should not be burdened by them, for they will be the one who will face the future.
CHURCH TEACHINGSFrom the Bible Daughter’s Responsibility to her Parents
Listen to the instruction of parents, do not forsake it. Remember that parents are older and more experienced. They may not be perfect yet they are still wiser. Proverbs 6:20-23
Although, today in the modern world, the younger generation may disregard their parent’s teachings and consider them as inapplicable to our time. The young should still listen to their parents for they are of authority and, as said in the verse, they are still wiser.
CHURCH TEACHINGSFrom the Bible Strengthening the Youth to Obey their Parents
Parents have God-given authority and have generally done much good for the children. They deserve to receive respectful treatment, including respectful speech and attitudes.
Ephesians 6:2,3
One who refuses to obey his parents is worthy of death, and so are those who approve of such conduct.
Romans 1:30,32
Children should obey all parental instructions unless they are told to do something sinful
Acts 5:29
PROPOSAL
Our Group Stand We stand for respect that mothers may be given
much importance in our society and its roles respected with significant magnanimity.
That people recognize motherhood as a noble vocation, that without it, communities in the world would not exist without the nurturing of a mother. Respect for all kinds of mothers, whether single, widowed, distant or non-biological, that they may be recognized for their duties whether it’s required or not.
PROPOSAL
Our Group Stand We stand for children’s rights, that they may
be given sufficient rearing and necessities to able to grow up as decent and reputable members of society.
We stand for the rights of each and every daughter, that they may be disciplined in the correct way and that they are looked after and loved by a family.
PROPOSALPersonal Proposal Through this, we pledge to serve as an example as young
daughters, not just by a family but as well as by our mother nation, that we give respect and honor our mothers as they should be and do not treat them any less.
We believe that from this learning experience, every mother, despite their shortcomings should receive revere for what they have to sacrifice to be a mother.
We should also promote proper parenting and it’s importance in building a better community and a nation that is deserving of God’s Kingdom. The people in poverty stricken areas should be able to know how and what it takes to rear a child that would later on, in turn, would help his/her own family. For every family is equal and as part of the Catholic Church, we should be able to recognize that
PROPOSAL
The Role of Society and The Church The role of society is to not discriminate anyone for their
standing in the community. Motherhood is not merely staying at home and doing house chores. It is building the fundamental part of the community and the role of our society is to give it importance and a sort of reward for fulfilling such a significant task.
Also the role of society, specifically the government, is to build laws that would further support the laws that were built for women and children.
They should be able to provide them with further knowledge on family planning, human rights, responsible parenting and other important tools
PROPOSAL
The Role of Society and The Church The role of society, specifically the media, is to
portray a truthful and real description of a mother and daughter.
They should be able to give adapt to the changing times and do not deceive into such glamorous roles that are unlikely.
They should not lead the youth into unrealistic tendencies that they might follow which would lead them to their parents’ misunderstanding.
PROPOSAL
The Role of Society and The Church The role of the Church is to guide mothers into
reaching their mission for God and to inform them of their own power to proclaim God’s Kingdom.
Their role is to also give wisdom to open the children more to God’s teachings so that they may know in a very young age what they are bound to do.
Lastly, the role of the Church is to keep up with the times and to further adapt to the growing generations.