Transactional Analysis (T.A.)

Analytical way to understand self, analyze set of behaviors and change of attitude

Basic Mysteries about self

Who Am I? Why do I behave the way I do? Can I change my behavior?

Basic Mysteries about Others

Why do some people suffer from recurring negative thoughts and feelings?

Why does their attitude, whether towards themselves or others, or towards the world at large become tinted or blurred?

Why do their efforts go in vain? Why don’t they succeed in life?

Let’s explore through

Transactional Analysis

Transactional Analysis (T.A.)

T.A. is propounded by Dr. Eric Berne in 1958

T.A. is introduced in India by Father George Kandathil in 1972

What is Transaction

A transaction is a stimulus coupled with response.

It is exchange – in communication, there is exchange of information, feelings, like and dislikes.

What is transactional analysis?

Self help psychology Easy to understand for common people Simple to adopt in daily life An effective way to understand human mind

and personality and to adopt the changes required for personal growth

Why Transactional Analysis?

How relevant is our personality at the present

Find out damage or loss to us due to faulty personality

Can we be successful without developing personality

How to develop our personality

Assumptions of T.A.

Human beings are by nature capable of living in harmony with self, others and nature

All are equal in potential and intelligence.

Everybody has capacity to think. People decide their own destiny. Decisions taken in life can be changed, if required.

Every person is unique in his/her feeling & behaviour.

Basically people have happy nature like children.

I am ok; you are ok

Where T.A. is used?

Counseling individuals, couples and families

HRD and OD Education Team building

Do we like feedback?

Does feedback matter us?

Do we like appreciation?

How we react to criticism?

STROKES

Stroke is defined as a unit of RECOGNITION.Stroke is a biological necessity. Positive Stroke → Energy is givenNegative Stroke→ Energy is taken

FORMS OF STROKE

Physical Verbal Non-VerbalTouch Praise SmilePat Wish NodBeat Greet BowShake hand Appreciate ListenKick Abuse Look

Shout SignalScold

Types of Strokes

1. Positive Conditional Stroke (+C) ------- Doing / Performance

2. Positive Unconditional Stroke (+UC) ------- Being / Person

3. Negative Conditional Stroke (-C) ------- Doing / Performance

4. Negative Unconditional Stroke (-UC) ------- Being / Person

5. No Stroke ------- Ignoring

6. Plastic stroke ------- False

7. Counterfeit stroke ------- Sounding + ve Stroke with – ve sting

RESULT OF POSITIVE STROKE

Self Confidence, Self Respect, Health Improvement, Make others happy, Winning friends, Help developing talents, Become a winner, Feel that I am OK and others are also OK.

Unconditional Positive Stroke or Unconditional love is the most powerful known stimulant of the “Immune System”

Higher stroking environment prevents disease

Effect of Stroke

Positive Stroke Self Confidence Become Winner Feel that I am Okay Feel that Others are also

Okay Self Respect Increases Help Winning Friends Help Developing talents Self Esteem Increases

Negative Stroke

Inferiority Complex Become Loser Feel that I am not Okay Talents and Abilities

Inhibited Feel sad

But what happens in life

We don’t give strokes We don’t accept strokes We do not ask for strokes We do not stroke our self We don’t reject stroke

What is human personality?

Ego State means the state of mind at a particular moment

Ego state is visible behavior pattern of self

Every individual has 3 behavior patterns within himself – or 3 personalities – Parent, Adult, Child

P

A

C

Parent

Adult

Child

Child Ego State

IN CHILD EGO STATE, YOU FEEL,THINK,AND ACT LIKE A LITTLE PERSON, YOU ONCE WERE.

A. GENERAL BEHAVIOUR Adapted Free / Natural Stubborn Active, Affectionate Rebellious Intuitive Complaining Exuberant Competitive Boastful Co-operative Self-centered Lethargic Curious Guilty Artistic, self-indulgent Anxious Excited, Repeater of mistakes Playful, Sexual. Obedient Laughter Patient Shouting, Stamping Disobedient Forgets

Child Ego State

B. Body Language

Adapted Free/ NaturalFalse Smile Mischievous SmileVindictive Smile Wide Open EyesDown Cast Eyes Looking Innocent

C. Words & Phrases I can’t- If only- Super- Come On- Ouch- Won’t- What a

shame-I don’t know really- Hey –Darling.

FREE/NATURAL CHILD

+ve -ve

Playful Over - Emotional Fostering care Over playful No inhibition Careless Ambitious Irresponsible Creative Rebellious Spontaneous Impulsive Forgiving Shouting Natural Naughty Curious Extravagant Sincere Destructive Intuitive

Adapted Child Behavior

+ve -veRebellious AggressiveAssertive AngryConfront RudeRevolutionary Hurt

Adult Ego State is a state of mind when we analyze data, information or situations. It is like a computer. It helps a person to make a logical decision

A. GENERAL BEHAVIOUR Acquiring Knowledge Looking for Options & Probabilities Comprehend Weighing Pros & Cons Perceive Reorganize Interpret Organize Classify Checking for Truth Discriminating Unifying Data Extrapolating Creativity

Adult Ego State

Adult Ego State

B. BODY LANGUAGE Quiet, Alert, Pleasant, Smile, Forward Leaning, Clear straight gaze, Unprejudiced air, Relaxed, Eye to Eye Contact

C. WORDS AND PHRASES

“I understand” “I remember” “Suppose” “The information I have is ---------” “What? How? Where?” “However” “Another way of looking at ---”

Adult Behavior

+ve -ve Matured Serious Responsible Obstinate Dutiful Too much calculative Independent Arrogant Self – Confident Over – Confident Reasonable Too factual Rational Machine like

Parent Ego State

Parent ego state resembles behavior of parental figures

You are responding as one of your parents with the same gestures, words, feelings etc.

In Parent ego state, you feel, think and act, as you saw your parents act when you were little

Parent Ego State is a set of Thinking, Feeling and Behaviour patterns that resemble those of parental figures.

A. GENERAL BEHAVIOUR Critical Nurturing Disciplining Caring Judging Guiding Compelling Encouraging Scolding Supporting Questioning Agreeing Disagreeing Clinging Ridiculing Falsely Praising Direct Let me help you Rescuing

Parent Ego State

Parent Ego State

B. BODY LANGUAGE Critical Nurturing Pointed Finger Nod Heavy strides Embrace Stern Look Consoling Touch Jerking Fist Giving attitude Foot tapping Concerned Look Hands On Hips Arm around Shoulder

C. WORDS & PHRASES Should, Should Not Take Care Must, Necessary Don’t worry Never, Always Don’t be afraid

Critical Parent Behavior

+ve -ve

Lead Demanding

Authoritative Expecting highly

Commanding Overly controlling

Assert Dictator

Nurturing Parent Behavior

+ve -ve Protects Over – Permissive Caring Over – Nurturing Encouraging Rescuer Listening Falsely praising Loving Clinging

Critical Parent Autocratic, Domination

Nurturing Parent Overdependence,Weak sentimentality

Adult Ego State Incessant doubt

Adapted Child Loss of Identity

Natural Child Unbridled License

Negative Effect of Ego State

Ego States Formation

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A

C

Taught Beliefs, Customs, Values Persecuting, Rescuing Dominance Standards, Culture Permission, Protection.

Thought Awareness, Here and now Calculation, Skill Equalityexperience, Current reality Options, Pros & Cons

Felt Satisfaction, Imagination Desires, Wishes Dependence

Creativity Wants, Needs

How do I behave?

There is no general rule Depending on situation, you can use parent to child or child

to parent But for a balanced approach to life, Adult to Adult is

recommended

Where I go wrong

STRUCTURAL PATHOLOGY

A. CONTAMINATION1. Parent Contamination

Prejudice

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C

WHEN WRONG INFORMATIONS,PREJUDICES, SLOGANS AND BELIEFS RECEIVED FROM PARENTAL FIGURES,ARE MISTAKEN FOR REAL FACTS.

2. Child Contamination

Delusion

P

A

C

WHEN “OLD CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES” ARE INACCURATELY USED IN HERE AND NOW REALTY SITUATIONS

3. Double Contamination

WHEN ADULT IS CONTAMINATED BY PARENT BELIEFS AND OLD CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES AT THE SAME TIME

Prejudice

P

A

C

Delusion

STRUCTURAL PATHOLOGY

B. EXCLUSION ( Type 1 –One Ego State is excluded)

1. Excluded Parent A

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C

PARENT EGO STATE IS NOT BEING OPERATED BY THE INDIVIDUAL

2. Excluded Adult

A

P

C

THE INDIVIDUAL IS NOT OPERATING ADULT EGO STATE

3. Excluded Child

THE INDIVIDUAL DOES NOT OPERATE CHILD EGO STATE

A

P

C

EXCLUSION (Type 2 – Two Ego States are excluded) a) Constant Parent

A

P

C

THE INDIVIDUAL REMAINS IN PARENT EGO STATE ONLY.

b) Constant Adult

A

P

C

THE INDIVIDUAL REMAINS IN ADULT EGO STATE ONLY

c) Constant Child

A

P

C

THE INDIVIDUAL REMAINS IN CHILD EGO STATE ONLY.

Interpersonal Relating

You think you understood what I spoke, but are you sure you understood what I “meant”

Transactions

Transaction = Stimulus + ResponseT = S + R

---------------------------------------------------------------------A transaction is1. Basic unit of conversation/behavior2. Unit of social intercourse---------------------------------------------------------------------

There are three kinds of Transactions namely, Parallel, Cross & Ulterior Transactions

Parallel or Complementary Transaction

Communication will proceed smoothly as long as transactions are complementary. Two ego states only are involved, one from each person.Stimulus & response vectors ( communication paths) are parallel.

P

A

C

P

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C

S = What time is it? R = My watch says 12:30.

There are 9 types of Complementary Transactions

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C

P

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C

S = Students are becoming lazy and they always welcome spoon -feeding.R = These are the signs of the times

Parallel or Complementary Transaction

P

A

C

P

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C

S = I like your company.R = I like talking with you

Parallel or Complementary Transaction

BOSS (Male) = Look, how many mistakes you have made in this report !SECRETARY (Female) = Sorry sir, it won’t happen again.

BOSS(Lady) = I’m afraid, we have to rewrite the initial part in that report.Secretary (Male) = Don’t worry Madam, I’ll take care of it.

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C

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C

Boss Subordinate

Boss Subordinate

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C

P

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C

Cross Transactions

There are 72 types of Cross Transactions

P

A

C

P

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C

S = What is the time?R = Why don’t you use your watch?

Boss = Have you lost that important file?Subordinate = How dare you say it to me?

P

A

C

P

A

C

Colleague-I Colleague-2

Boss Subordinate

Cross Transactions

P

A

C

P

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C

S = Do you know where my cufflinks are?R = You always blame me for everything.

S = What is the score?R = Wow, We are winning.

P

A

C

P

A

C

Husband Wife

Friend - 1 Friend - 2

BERNE’S RULES OF COMMUNICATION

Ỹ Communication can continue indefinitely so long as transactions remain complementary. In complementary transactions, the ego state addressed is the one which responds

Ỹ Communication is broken when a transaction is crossed. In crossed transaction, the ego state addressed is not the one which responds

Ỹ The outcome of an ulterior transactions is determined at the psychological level and not at the social level. When people communicate in two levels, the outcome of secret message is attained

BASIC LIFE POSITIONHOW A PERSON FEELS ABOUT HIMSELF/ HERSELF ABOUT OTHERS IS CALLEDBASIC LIFE POSITION

I+U+ Hope — Feel positive about himself/Herself and others- Mentally healthy – Intimate relationship — Builds trust Self Confidence – Prince/princess – Life is worth living based on conscious thought and faith — Conversion experience

I+U - Feel victimized – Blame others – Less friends-- Persecutors Feel superior – Homicide – Critical – Deprived of strokes from others – Showing power – He is unable to be objective about his own capacity.-- Exaggerate his capacity – Develop routine “Yes” men who praise — Show overblown confidence.

How I Am?

BASIC LIFE POSITION

I-U+ Feel inferior – Compare with others – withdraw from other and situations – Seek negative stroke – Inadequate – Depression My life is not worth much – shows low confidence — Person feels living at the mercy of others — Does not take initiative Devalues his own contribution – My life is not worth much- Non Assertive – Submissive

I-U- Feel Hopeless – Suicide Feelings — Neurotic ProblemAlcoholic — Frequently sick – Sadness – Futile – Life is not worth anything at all – Reject stroke – Drug Addict — Lacks energy — Go Crazy

BASIC LIFE POSITION(O.K. CORRAL) By Franklin Earnst

I – U + I + U +G.A.F. (Get Away From) G.O.W. (Get On With)Loveless HealthySuicidal Self awarenessFeel foolish Be hereLIFE NOT MUCH WORTH LIFE WORTH LIVING

I – U – I + U –G.N.W. (Get No Where) G.R.O. (Get Rid Of)Mindless JoylessFrustration HomicidalBlank Lacks Intimacy LIFE NOT WORTHY AT ALL LIFE NOT WORTH LIVING

Why I Behave In this way?

DRIVERS……DO MESSAGES

The negative restrictive Do messages that come from parents are called drivers

These drivers lead us to not-Ok feeling.

These messages are transmitted to a child either from negative Nurturing or negative Critical Parent Ego State of parents.

Driver behavior of a person which appears for few seconds can be detected

DRIVERS—DO MESSAGES

DRIVERS NEGATIVE MESSAGE

BE PERFECT You are not Ok, if you are not perfect

PLEASE OTHERS You are not Ok, if you do not please others

TRY HARD You are not Ok, if you are not trying hard

BE STRONG You are not Ok, if you are not strong.

HURRY UP You are not Ok, if you do not hurry up

What are the hurdles?

INJUNCTIONS - DON’T MESSAGES

Injunctions are stoppers or prohibition to the child’s proper, mental growth. It is a non- verbal command from a parent to a child.

Injunctions are a set of ulterior transactions from parents to off springs.

Injunctions limit the independence of a person.

Injunctions are given from Critical Parent or Pig parent or Crazy Child of parents.

Injunctions are implanted before the age of 8

IMPORTANT INJUNCTIONS

1. Don’t exist (Don’t be ). 2. Don’t be you. 3. Don’t grow up. 4. Don’t be a child ( Don’t enjoy). 5. Don’t be important (Don’t be famous). 6. Don’t be close. 7. Don’t succeed (Don’t achieve) 8. Don’t feel ( Don’t show your feelings) 9. Don’t be sane.10. Don’t be well.11. Don’t think.12. Don’t love others.13. Don’t believe others14. Don’t belong

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