Tumby; Or, In Defense of Julian Palmer

Post on 12-Apr-2017

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Foreword.By Liam Doyle

I first met Julian Palmer in September of 2004 during the first days of our first semester at the De La Salle College in Wicklow town, Co. Wicklow. He was a spritely young fellow whose auburn hair fell over a cherubic face like the beaded curtains to a living room of promise. Nervous in this new setting, as I was, we quickly dusted for common ground or something to stretch into a conversation. The word KoRn was written on his pencil case. This was how it began.

I will not tell you that the length of time I’ve known Julian Palmer has been in any way advantageous alone in understanding him, rather, in order to fully examine the nucleus of his ways, the only fruitful methods are those that observe him through the eyes of a stranger. Too often during my studies have I caught myself speaking in his language or posturing myself in a manner similar to his during a noodle rage or poo arse. Indeed, the only way to examine the man is through removal. Scientific detachment.

It cannot be stressed enough that the following should not be read as a definitive study based on any of the empirical data collected thus far. This is merely an impressionistic glance at a man who has baffled all, and whose few answers have served only to birth new and maddening questions.

~ Dr. Liam Doyle, Department of Weird Craic.

“Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds.”~ J. Robert Oppenheimer

Defending territory.

On Feeding Time.

On Socialising.

On Trust.

Observing Art.

Butt.

On Travel.

On Paternity.

Socialising.

Ritualistic Defilement*

On Wealth.

On Paternity (cont.)

Sulking.

Socialising.

An Appeal.

On Having Regrets.

Traditional Headdress.

Socialising

On Music*

On Youth.

Arse.

Arse*

Arse.

Arse.

Arse.

A Murder of Arses.

Arse.

Arse.

Fin.

Special ThanksThe Department of Weird Craic.

The Weird Craic Archives.Weird Craic Monthly.

Mothers Against Weird Craic.Students Against Weird Craic.

Weird Craic Matters.All Craic Matters.

The Committee for Weirder Craic.