Newbury Weekly News 44Thursday, December 8, 2011

Twilight: the next generationAnd so the vampire phenomenon goes on... andon... Will Beharrell reviews The Twilight Saga:Breaking Dawn – Part 1

Win cinema ticketsVue Cinema in Newbury is offering two tickets for the first correct entry thatanswers this week’s question. Enter by completing the coupon and sendingit to: Vue Cinema competition no. 30, Newbury Weekly News, NewspaperHouse, Faraday Road, Newbury, Berkshire RG14 2DW, by Friday, December16, 2011.

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Question: Who is Edward Cullen’s love rival in TheTwilight Saga

PREVIOUSLY, on The TwilightSaga: pasty-faced teen vampireEdward Cullen pledged to marrythe non-vampiric (but equallypasty) Bella Swann, much to thechagrin of his (contrastinglytanned) werewolf love-rival,Jacob. As the wedding approach-es, the tension between were-wolves and vampires reachesfever pitch. Or whatever.

Nevertheless, I must confess torather enjoying the first film in the(now omnipresent) Twilightfranchise. Certainly it was hammy,overwrought, and more than a littlehysterical, but at least it was relative-ly harmless entertainment withsome symbolic sexual anxietythrown in for good measure.

Subsequent films in the series,however, have become disappointing-ly po-faced and earnest, with Bellaand Edward’s many trials andtribulations rendered in increasinglylong-winded and tedious detail.Twilight has turned into one of thosesoap operas that used to run onAmerican network television,valiantly churning out an endlessseries of tear-jerking moments forthe benefit of a dwindling (but obses-sively loyal) army of fans.

In this year’s episode, the perpetu-ally miserable couple finally ties theknot, and (following a steamy ‘Mills& Boon’-style consummation scene)Bella falls pregnant with Edward’schild. Unfortunately it would appearthat Edward Jnr has inherited hisfather’s blood-sucking tendencies,and Bella begins to waste away underthe burden of carrying the child.

Meanwhile, news of the happyevent reaches the wolf pack (thosewell-known obstetrics enthusiasts)who view the vampire-human hybridas a threat and swear to bring about

its destruction. All this leaves one-

time love interest Jacob with a rather

sticky wicket as he is forced to choose

between his affection for Bella, and

his loyalty to the wolves.

It’s all monumentally daft, but

(more to the point) it’s monumentally

daft extraordinarily slowly. The mar-

riage scenes alone take up a quarter

of the film’s running time, lovingly

fetishising every detail of the matri-

monial like a big-budget wedding

video. Furthermore, because the

film-makers have elected to split

Breaking Dawn into two parts (as per

the final Harry Potter films), we’re

denied a satisfactory conclusion.

Harry Potter, I felt, pulled off this

technique by carefully ending the

first film so as to create a genuine

sense of anticipation for the conclu-

sion. Twilight: Breaking Dawn (Part

1) does not manage this, leaving us

with some rather ineffectual fight

scenes between the vampires and

werewolves, and a laughably

unwieldy title.

(I spent whole minutes trying to

decide where that colon should go).

All in all, the latest Twilight film is

something of an endurance test. No

doubt the many fans of the series will

find plenty of things to swoon over,

but for the rest of us this film is a joy-

less, humorless slog.

Rating: PP

N2 film reviews – supported by Newbury Vue

ALSO NOW SHOWING AT A CINEMA NEAR YOU

Happy Feet 2 (U)More penguin dancing

Hugo (U)Christmas animation thatlooks good

Immortals (15)Great powers, silly costumes.(Review rating **)

Arthur Christmas (U)It’s Christmas so it’s aChristmas movie!

The Thing (15)Yet another version of the 50shorror classic

New Year’s Eve (12a)Just the time to resolve“issues”

My Week with Marilyn (15)Better than messing withPresidents

50/50 (15)Superior pathos and humourmix

Johnny English Reborn(PG)The other Bond,

Basildon Bond

The Twilight Saga: Breaking

Dawn Part 1

More panda eye shadow and

hopeless love

(Review this page **)

The Rum Dairy (15)

Americans in Central

America - not good

The Adventures of Tintin

(PG)

Haddock, treasure, the

Thompson twins, etc

In Time (12a)

Time on your hands.

(Review rating ***)

Newbury Corn Exchange

Wuthering Heights (15)

Fri, Dec 2 - Thurs, Dec 8

Bronte’s classic

The Deep Blue Sea (12a)

2n ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

THE urge to write and publish a book is onethat has been with Antony Wootten sincechildhood. With many completed novels –in itself a feat which many would envy – waiting in the wings, he has chosen a children’s story for his first self-publishedwork and has also used his talents as an

ON Saturday afternoon, towncentre shoppers experiencedshopping with a difference,thanks to the CornExchange.

Street theatre performersFlying Buttresses were showingoff their wonderfully uniqueand quirky outfits and provid-ing a free performance treat forpassersby.

Hodman Dodmanott and hiswife Sally Forth ambled merrily

through Newbury town centre,bringing laughter whereverthey went. The news aboutChristmas had only just reachedthe far off country of Obliva(the home of Hodman and Sally)and some of the details hadbecome slightly lost in transla-tion.

The intrepid heroes knew it hadsomething to do with keepingpeople distracted on thedoorstep listening to terriblesinging, while a little helper

sneaks down the chimney andfills their sack with milk andbiscuits.

Crowds of onlookers were ableto enjoy their comical attemptsat Christmas shopping andcarol singing (although singingwas not quite the right word!...).

The hilarious duo wanderedthough Northbrook Street min-gling with shoppers to provid-ing a fantastical start to theCorn Exchange’s free Christmasprogramme.

Former Thatcham man’s zoo taleartist to illustrate the attractively dramaticfront cover.

A Tiger Too Many is set at the time of the SecondWorld War when those in charge of London Zoohad to make sad decisions about which animalswould have to be KBO (killed by order) so as toensure the safety of the public should the zoo bebombed. Animals requiring continuing and expensive medication were also at risk sincemoney was tight.

Mr Wootten’s young heroine, Jill, forms a bondwith a tiger who falls into this second categoryand does all she can to save him, but she is thenevacuated to the country and finds herself livingwith an unkind woman who treats her as a slave.Eventually Jill runs away, back to the tiger, but the troubles are not yet over, although be reassured there is a happy ending.

This story for the nine to 12 age group is well written and retains the reader’s interest, so that he or she cares about what happens to thecharacters as the story zips along. For childrenof a compassionate nature it might be as well tohave tissues on hand as there is much which issad before that happy ending is reached.

Although Antony Wootten now lives in Yorkshire,he was born in Thatcham, attending first ParsonsDown infant and junior schools, followed byKennet Comprehensive. A primary school teacherof many years – he now teaches in Whitby – he isstill a frequent visitor to the Newbury area andcontinues to find time between the day job andpainting the local scenery to continue to write. Iunderstand a book of limericks is next in thepipeline.

A Tiger Too Many (Eskdale Publishing £4.99)is available from Thatcham’s Family Bookshopand The Hungerford Bookshop, as well as viaAmazon and through Anthony Wootten’s own website www.eskdale.150m.com

A funny thing happened on the way to the shopsJothy Davies from Newbury with the Flying Buttresses in the Market Place on Saturday Ref: 49-1811B

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