1DiscussionGuideforParents

underpressureLisaDamour,Ph.D.

DiscussionGuideforParents

2DiscussionGuideforParents

IntroductionWhenyouthinkaboutthecausesofstressandanxietyforyourdaughter,whatarethemainculprits?How,inthepast,haveyoutriedtohelphermanagefeelingsofstressandanxiety?Whathasworked?Whathasn’t?ChapterOne:ComingtoTermswithStressandAnxietyInyourownlife,canyouidentifyexamplesofhealthystress(thetypethatfostersgrowthandbuildsresilience)thatyoucandrawontohelpyourdaughterappreciatethepositiveaspectsofstress?Whenyourdaughterbecomesanxious,isshefrightenedbyheranxiety?Orcansheregarditasausefulsignthatsomethingmightbeamiss?ChapterTwo:GirlsatHomeHow,inthepast,haveyouusuallyreactedwhenyourdaughter:

• wishestoavoidsomethingthatmakesheruneasy,• hasanemotionalmeltdown,or• hasadramaticoverreaction.

Whenyouthinkaboutthecausesofstressandanxietyforyou,whatarethemainculprits?Aretherestepsyoucantaketoreduceyourowntensioninordertotakebettercareofbothyourselfandyourdaughter?

3DiscussionGuideforParents

ChapterThree:GirlsamongGirlsHowwelldoesyourdaughtergetalongwithherfriends?Whenyourdaughterrunsintosocialconflicts,howdoesshetendtohandlethem?Wouldyoudescribeyourdaughter’srelationshipwithsocialmediaashealthy,unhealthy,orabitofboth?Howdoesyourdaughterfeelaboutcompetingwithherfemalepeers?Canshedrawoncompetitionasapositivesourceofmotivation,ordoescompetitionbecomeuncomfortablyfraughtwithemotion?ChapterFour:GirlsamongBoysDoyouhavereasontosuspect—ordoyoualreadyknow—thatyourdaughterhasbeenonthereceivingendofsexualharassment?Ifso,whatconversationshaveyouhad(ordoyouhopetohave)withheraboutit.Well-meaningadultsmayunwittinglyreinforcetheharmfulboys-on-offense-girls-on-defenseframeworkwhentalkingwithbothourdaughtersandsonsabouttheirromanticlives.Howhaveyoutendedtoapproachtheseconversationsinyourhome?ChapterFive:GirlsatSchoolHowdoesyourdaughtertypicallyreacttotheexpectablestressesofschool?Doesshehavereliablewaystorestoreherselfafterahardday?Howefficientisyourdaughterwhenitcomestoschool?Doesshe“floorit”inallofherclasses,ordoesshemaketacticaldecisionsaboutwhentocoast?

4DiscussionGuideforParents

Whenthinkingaboutherfuture,doesyourdaughteroperatewitha“projectiles”ora“pathways”model?Andwhichmodelcomestomindforyouwhenyoulookatwhat'saheadforyourgirl?ChapterSix:GirlsintheCultureSomegirlscanturnpeopledownwithoutharmingtheirrelationships;othergirlssay“no”rudely,andstillothersacquiescetorequestsfartoooftenandeasily.Howdoesyourdaughterfarewhenitcomestostickingupforherownwisheswhilebeingrespectfulofothers?Howhaveyoutalkedwithyourdaughteraboutourculture’sheavyemphasisonfemaleappearance?Andwhenthetopicarises,howdoyoutalkwithyourgirlaboutherlooks?Whatconversationsareyouhavingathomeonthetopicsofprivilege,prejudice,racism,equity,andinclusion?ConclusionHowwasUnderPressureofhelptoyoupersonally,orinyourroleasaparent?Whatquestionsremainunansweredforyou?Whattopicsrelatedtostress,anxiety,orparentingwouldyouliketolearnmoreabout?