WELCOME TO

MENTOR TRAINING

Using

Mentor Resources

from

www.takestockinchildren.org

TAKE STOCK IN CHILDRENNASSAU COUNTY

WHY ARE WE HERE ? TO HELP YOU SUCCEED AS A MENTOR !

➢THE TAKE STOCK IN CHILDREN PROGRAM

➢PROGRAM COMPONENTS

➢THE TAKE STOCK MENTOR

➢MEETING YOUR STUDENT

➢DEVELOPING THE MENTORING RELATIONSHIP

➢SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS

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I.THE TAKE STOCK IN CHILDREN

PROGRAM

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PROGRAM FUNDAMENTALS:

WHAT:➢Awards a 120 credit hour college scholarship to deserving students; scholarship only for tuition & fees, purchased from Fl. Pre-Paid Foundation/ Project STARS [provides matching funds for purchase costs]

➢Students meet weekly with adult mentors during each school year

WHO:➢Eligibility determined by financial need, good school behavior and attendance, minimum C+ GPA

➢Available to 7th and 8th grade students in Nassau County public schools

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HOW:

➢ Initial contact with students and families done at beginning of school year from school-provided list of income eligible candidates

➢ Students/families receive the TSIC Student Application

➢ Applications reviewed and evaluated

➢ Number of accepted students directly dependent upon the TSIC Scholarship Funding available

➢ Interviews with students/families; final assessment

➢ New students/families inducted with special Celebration Event in April

➢MENTORS matched with new students

GETTING NEW STUDENTS:

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TSIC NASSAU PERSONNEL

BOARD OF DIRECTORS-• The governing body for TSIC Nassau responsible for fund-

raising, staff hiring, student selection & monitoring, mentor recruitment & training, and program marketing.

• Members are community volunteers.

STAFF-• Full-time Executive Director and Program Manager

• Part-time College Success Coaches work directly with students, mentors, and the schools

• Part-time College Readiness Coordinator specifically guides students for college selection, applications, etc.

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▪ Nassau public schools lead by an elected Superintendent and School Board

▪ 16 schools including a middle and high school in Hilliard, Callahan, Yulee, and Fernandina Beach

NASSAU SCHOOL DISTRICT

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II. PROGRAM COMPONENTS

➢MENTEES (STUDENTS) – sign contracts agreeing to maintain good grades and behavior, and meet regularly with a mentor

➢MENTORS – adult who will motivate, encourage, and support the student through a positive caring relationship

➢PARENTS – sign contracts agreeing to support and encourage their child and be involved with Take Stock

➢COLLEGE SUCCESS COACHES & STAFF – serve as liaison between students, parents, teachers, and mentors; also monitor student’s progress

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“The #1 indicator of success for a child is . . .

What do you think ?

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. . . A relationship with a caring adult.”

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III. THE TAKE STOCK MENTOR

PROFILE

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What is mentoring like ?

▪ How is a mentor like a tightrope walker?

▪ How is a mentor like a tour guide?

▪ How is a mentor like a firefighter?

▪ How is a mentor like a gardener?

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GOOD MENTORS -

▪Are Good Listeners

▪Are Good Communicators

▪Help Mentees Focus On Possibilities

▪Make Commitment to Meet Weekly

▪Guide Their Mentee in Setting Goals

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▪ Friend▪ Confidante▪ Listener▪ Helper▪ Role Model▪ Guide▪ Reliable Adult

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A MENTORS ROLE IS AS A . . .

▪ An ATM▪ A therapist▪ A judge▪ A surrogate parent▪ A babysitter▪ A disciplinarian▪ A social worker

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A MENTOR IS NOT . . .

TSIC EXPECTATIONS for MENTORS▪ Meet weekly during the school year with your mentee

▪ Participate in TSIC Mentor / Mentee events

note- your special clearance and approval to attend TSIC

events does not extend to spouses/family members

▪ Do NOT attend non-school/non-TSIC events with mentee

▪ Meet with mentee family only within approved TSIC occasions

▪ Do NOT personally contact mentee family or teachers

▪ Use your TSIC Mentor Toolkit

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OUR GOAL: COLLEGE DEGREE FOR STUDENTS !

▪ Help develop readiness skills: organization, goal setting, problem solving, effective study skills

▪ Familiarize your mentee with general college life[credit hours, tuition, dorm life, etc.]

▪ Keep up with college testing requirements – SAT, ACT, etc.

▪ Help navigate various college and scholarship web sites

▪ Use your TSIC Mentor ToolKit

RESOURCES ON-LINE: www.takestockinchildren.orgwww.collegeboard.comwww.finaid.org

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We give ourselves when we give gifts of words: encouragement, inspiration, guidance.”

- Wilfred A. Peterson

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IV. MEETING YOUR STUDENT

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GETTING STARTED -

- You will be notified of your assigned mentee andCollege Success Coach

- Your TSIC MENTOR TOOLKIT

- ‘Log – in routine’ : sign in & wear ID

- “Thank you”

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• Be familiar with the school facilities – have

your mentee give you a tour ☺

• Know the names of Front Office & Guidance Receptionists, Guidance Counselors, Media Specialist – they can be helpful resources

• Stay ‘in the loop’ about school events of interest to your mentee

KNOW YOUR STUDENT’S SCHOOL

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GETTING TO KNOW YOUR STUDENT

TO START WITH - - -

▪ Be Patient, but Persistent

▪ Ask Open-Ended Questions/phrases [“Tell me about . . .”, “What do you think about . . .”, “I’m really interested in . . .”]

▪ Express a Pleasantly Cheerful Demeanor

▪ Relay a Genuine Caring Attitude for the Mentee23

Mentees are the Pilots. Mentors can help with navigation, but young people must set their own goals.

✓Connect with common interests and activities

✓Remember – mentors are not ‘saviors’

✓Refer to your Mentor Toolkit often

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‘TAKE IT EASY’

What Would You Do ?

You and your mentee are having a hard time

“connecting”. When you meet, you usually go

to the library and work on homework. Towards

the end of your fourth visit, your mentee says to

you, “You don’t need to come see me again.”

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V. DEVELOPING THE MENTORING

RELATIONSHIP

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a. Developing Rapport and Building Trust

b. Appearance – Important Impressions

c. Body Language

d. Speech

e. Listening

f. Problem Solving

g. Letting Go of the Relationship

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”

- Angela Schwindt

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KEY POINTS

a. BUILDING A TRUSTING RAPPORT

➢Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements that create defensiveness

➢Don’t minimize your mentee’s feelings [“it’s not that bad”]

➢Be honest and straightforward about what you are feeling and thinking

➢Be a friend – not a parent, teacher, or counselor

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First Impressions are Always Important

▪“I am a Responsible Adult Role Model.”

▪Relaxed and Comfortable but Appropriate

▪Check With School Dress Code29

b. APPEARANCE

▪ One of the keys to communication

▪ Be aware of not only theirs, but yours, too

▪ Studies show that people believe what they see more than what they hear

“There are little eyes upon you and they’re watching night and day.There are little ears that quickly take in every word you say.There are little hands all eager to do everything you do.And a little child who’s dreaming of the day he’ll be like you.”

- Unknown

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c. BODY LANGUAGE SPEAKS VOLUMES !

▪ Use words to validate and empower your mentee

▪ Actively listening demonstrates empathy

▪ Listen for feelings underneath the content.

▪ Keep an open mind . . . hearing someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with them.

▪ Try to minimize distractions. 31

d. SPEECH & LISTENING SKILLS

“A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could.”

- Unknown

Giving Advice: Mentee Solving Problems:

-- passive, resistant -- active mentee

-- blocks exploration of problem -- opens lines of communication

-- doesn’t learn -- learns

-- imposes mentor’s solution -- solution belongs to menteeon mentee’s problem

-- does not encourage self-esteem -- fosters stronger self-esteem

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e. PROBLEM SOLVING

“Helping young people achieve their

full potential is the best way to

prevent them from becoming involved

in risky behavior.”

-Statement from a brochure about the National Clearinghouse on Families and Youth.

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▪ Celebrate and Reflect on your experience together

▪ Keep open communication

▪ Consider future involvement

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f. LETTING GO

What Would You Do ?

Your mentee, who is 14 years old, has told you she wants to be a

lawyer when she grows up. She is very smart but has never achieved

highly in school. You know that, recently, she has not even been

going to school regularly. Today, when you meet, your College

Success Coach takes you aside and says your mentee’s truancy has

become a serious problem. Later when you bring it up with your

mentee, she gets mad and says, “I’m not learning anything

worthwhile. School is boring.”

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a. Confidentiality

b. The Financial Factor

c. Individual Uniqueness

d. Commitment

e. Gifts

f. Diversity

g. Child Abuse

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VI. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS

a. Conversations between mentors and mentees are

confidential!

▪ Report any concerns or problems only to your College Success Coach

b. Limited financial resources sometimes affect how

young people see themselves.

▪ Be mindful of your mentee but provide positive encouragement to build self-confidence

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c. Young people often exhibit very unique qualities.

▪ Be non-judgmental - not everyone is the same

▪ Look beyond your viewpoint and celebrate your mentee’s uniqueness

▪ Explore their differences – sharing communication builds trust.

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d. A mentor’s consistency and reliability is

invaluable to the mentee.

• Model dependability and commitment

e. Gift giving is discouraged.

• Better tokens of caring and love include homemade treats, simple school supplies, cheery and encouraging cards.

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f. Diversity : Mentoring across differences

▪ Honestly examine your own mind for prejudices and stereotypes. Almost all of us have learned some.

▪ See your mentee, first and foremost, as a unique and valuable person.

▪ Approach cultural differences as an opportunity for learning.

What Would You Do ?Your mentee is 14 years old and often works after school and on weekends babysitting children in the neighborhood. She is a diligent worker and has told you that she’s working because she wants to start saving money now so she can go to college. She shares that her grandmother helped her to open a savings account, and she deposits a small amount of money every few weeks. When you meet with her today, she proudly shows you the new pair of Nike’s she’s wearing. “Look,” she says, “I bought them with the money I’d saved. They cost $131.” 41

▪ He prayed – it wasn’t my religion.

▪ He ate – it wasn’t what I ate.

▪ He spoke – it wasn’t my language.

▪ He dressed – it wasn’t what I wore.

▪ He took my hand – it wasn’t the color of mine.

▪ But when he laughed – it was how I laughed, and

when he cried – it was how I cried.

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Underneath we’re all the same . . .

▪ Mentors are in a unique position to be alert to child abuse – be alert and supportive

▪ Recognize the four types of abuse [neglect, emotional, physical, sexual]

▪ Must be vigilant, but also educated; must act when necessary, but not overreact

▪ Call your College Success Coach !

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g. CHILD ABUSE

What Would You Do ?

Your mentee is 15 years old. When you meet with him today, he is extremely sleepy. When you say something about it, he tells you there was a lot of noise in his apartment last night and he couldn’t sleep. Later he tells you that the noise was because his mother had friends over and they were drinking a lot and smoking marijuana. He says he doesn’t like it when his mother has her friends over at night because he’s so tired the next day, and it’s hard for him to go to school. When your mentee says this to you, you feel angry at his mother.

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▪ Safety and Structure

▪ Belonging

▪ Self-worth / Self-esteem and an ability to contribute

▪ Independence and control over one’s life

▪ Support from caring adult

▪ Competence and mastery

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BASIC NEEDS OF ALL YOUTH

LET’S RE-CAP OUR MENTOR EXPECTATION POINTS

✓ Meet with your student WEEKLY during the school year

✓ Keep conversations with your student CONFIDENTIAL but report any concerns to your College Success Coach

✓ ENCOURAGE your student – “You can do it!”

✓ Never be alone with a student

✓ Never accompany student off school property

✓ Don’t engage student/family in activities not part of TSIC

✓ Be cautious of social media usage

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WHAT’S NEXT ??

“Volunteers are free from civil liability for any act or omission resulting in

personal injury or property damage if the person was acting in good faith and/or the injury was not caused by

wanton or willful misconduct.”

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Florida Volunteer Protection Act

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Now What ?✓You’ve completed application, training, etc.

✓Matched with mentee

✓Begin mentoring relationship

✓Be a talent scout for mentors

✓Let us know about your successes

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PLEASE . . .

✓Always sign in the TSIC Log Book

✓Accept our thanks and congratulations !

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Sincerity and consistency are still the keys!

And remember . . . Have fun !

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It is the power of two that you are about to discover. It is an exciting adventure.

And now you are prepared.

Thank you for being

willing to make a

difference in the life of a

young person by making

them “college ready” !

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