Post on 15-Dec-2015
transcript
Welcome to the Open Welcome to the Open Sky Webinar Sky Webinar We will be starting at 6pm – see you soon!We will be starting at 6pm – see you soon!
Personal Growth for Personal Growth for Parents Parents Rebecca Wildbear, MS, LPCRebecca Wildbear, MS, LPCClinical TherapistClinical TherapistOpen Sky Wilderness TherapyOpen Sky Wilderness Therapy
AGENDA AGENDA
Crisis as opportunity: your child’s challenges Crisis as opportunity: your child’s challenges as a call to your personal journeyas a call to your personal journey
Identifying your old patterns and stories Identifying your old patterns and stories
Utilizing Bill Plotkin’s Map of the Psyche to Utilizing Bill Plotkin’s Map of the Psyche to engage the resource areas of your psycheengage the resource areas of your psyche
Growth Across the Life Span: Bill Plotkins’ Growth Across the Life Span: Bill Plotkins’ model, the Soul-centric Developmental Wheelmodel, the Soul-centric Developmental Wheel
REFLECTIONS:REFLECTIONS:
Which sentence in the poem Which sentence in the poem connects most to your own connects most to your own life? life?
Where in the poem are you Where in the poem are you right now?right now?
What’s the “old tug” and the What’s the “old tug” and the “voices shouting their bad “voices shouting their bad advice” for you?advice” for you?
What is your “new voice” that What is your “new voice” that is stepping forward?is stepping forward?
““ONE SOURCE OF BAD ONE SOURCE OF BAD INFORMATION”INFORMATION”
There’s a boy in you about threeYears old who hasn’t learned a thing for thirtyThousand years. Sometimes it’s a girl.
This child has to make up its mindHow to save you from death.He says things like: “Stay home. Avoid elevators. Eat only elk.”
You live with this child but you don’t know it.You are in the office, yes, but live with this boyAt night. He’s uninformed, but he does want
To save your life. And he has. Because of this boyYou survived a lot. He’s got six big ideas.Five don’t work. Right now he’s repeating them to you.
-Robert Bly
BRINGING AWARENESS TO BRINGING AWARENESS TO WHAT IS AUTOMATICWHAT IS AUTOMATIC
What is your default setting in times of challenge?What is your default setting in times of challenge? RescuerRescuer VictimVictim TyrantTyrant Enabler Enabler Co-dependentCo-dependent Critical ParentCritical Parent ConformistConformist RebelRebel
When and how does this pattern arise in your life? When and how does this pattern arise in your life?
THE LOYAL SOLDIERTHE LOYAL SOLDIER
Another name for our default setting – introducing Another name for our default setting – introducing the “loyal soldier”the “loyal soldier”
Motivated by fearMotivated by fear
Keeps us safe in an old story or mode of beingKeeps us safe in an old story or mode of being
Protects you by doing what it always hasProtects you by doing what it always has
Example thoughts:Example thoughts:
-“Nothing is going to change”-“Nothing is going to change”
-“You can’t do that”-“You can’t do that”
QUALITIES OF THE INNER QUALITIES OF THE INNER NURTURING PARENTNURTURING PARENT
CompassionateCompassionate
Good listenerGood listener
Allows all feelingsAllows all feelings
Rooted/GroundedRooted/Grounded
Devoted to a larger purposeDevoted to a larger purpose
Generative Generative
-Is there a person in your own childhood who held some of these -Is there a person in your own childhood who held some of these qualities for you?qualities for you?
-How easy or difficult is it for you to feel these qualities in -How easy or difficult is it for you to feel these qualities in yourself?yourself?
PRACTICES TO EMBRACE YOUR PRACTICES TO EMBRACE YOUR INNER NURTURING PARENTINNER NURTURING PARENT
Remember a person in your own life who is or Remember a person in your own life who is or has been particularly nurturinghas been particularly nurturing
Write a love letter to yourself as if you were Write a love letter to yourself as if you were this personthis person
Go for a walk in nature and find a place that Go for a walk in nature and find a place that feels especially nurturing, perhaps a tree or feels especially nurturing, perhaps a tree or large rock. Sit or lay there and let yourself large rock. Sit or lay there and let yourself feel held and loved in your body.feel held and loved in your body.
Map of the Psyche: Map of the Psyche: Journey to WholenessJourney to Wholeness
N
S
Loyal Soldiers: habitual patterns, survival strategies
Wounded Selves: conformist, victim, rebel,
prince/princess
Nurturing Parent
Wild, Magical, Indigenous Self
EW
WOUNDED SELVESWOUNDED SELVES
ConformistConformist
VictimVictim
RebelRebel
Prince/princessPrince/princess
-What do you know about your wounded self?-What do you know about your wounded self?
-Which one of these four tendencies is most -Which one of these four tendencies is most familiar to you?familiar to you?
““MY WILDISH SELF”MY WILDISH SELF”
I want to live in the twilight country of my wildish self,dwell there in the mysterious betweensof dark mountains,in the deep caves scarred with sacred triangles. I want to wander alone, elusive,pulsing like breath or waves of light. In my dreams I go thereto chant with all my voicesdervish spin to natural rhythms, feel whatever truths there arerise and swell under my feet,the vibration of a great beating heart.I want to live in the twilight countryof my wildish self,a deer leaping into moons of light as if summoned, seeking some reasonto fall down closer to the earth.
-Reni Fulton
WHY EMBRACE YOUR WHY EMBRACE YOUR WILD SELF?WILD SELF?
Awakens your alivenessAwakens your aliveness
Revives your passion for lifeRevives your passion for life
Connects you to the natural worldConnects you to the natural world
Helps you discover what you enjoy Helps you discover what you enjoy about livingabout living
Is connected to your heart and Is connected to your heart and authentic selfauthentic self
MAP OF THE PSYCHE: MAP OF THE PSYCHE: PUTTING IT TOGETHERPUTTING IT TOGETHER
N
S
Loyal Soldiers: habitual patterns, survival strategies
Wounded Selves: conformist, victim, rebel,
prince/princess
Nurturing Parent
Wild, Magical, Indigenous Self
Which aspect of Which aspect of the psyche is the psyche is active in your active in your life?life?
Develop a plan Develop a plan to strengthen to strengthen your inner your inner nurturing parent nurturing parent and wild self and wild self aspects aspects
THINGS TO CONSIDERTHINGS TO CONSIDER
Read Bill Plotkin’s book, Read Bill Plotkin’s book, Nature and the Human Nature and the Human SoulSoul
Which stage are you in now?Which stage are you in now?
What are some unfinished tasks of earlier stages What are some unfinished tasks of earlier stages that you could complete now?that you could complete now?
Look for supportive people, programs, and places Look for supportive people, programs, and places to continue your own personal growth and to continue your own personal growth and developmentdevelopment
Contact information for the Contact information for the presenter:presenter:
Rebecca Wildbear, MA, LPCRebecca Wildbear, MA, LPCwildbear@openskywilderness.comwildbear@openskywilderness.com
(435) 691-3021(435) 691-3021
Please keep this browser window open; when the webinar is Please keep this browser window open; when the webinar is over, it will take you to a survey for today’s session.over, it will take you to a survey for today’s session.
Thank you for Thank you for participating today!participating today!