What I Wish I Knew Then: Understanding the Brain Behavior Connection

Barb ClarkNACAC Parent Support & Training Specialist

• Advocacy• Foster/Adoption/Kinship Support

• Adoption Assistance & Tax Credit Support• Connecting families with local support

• Leadership Development• Education & Information

North American Council on Adoptable Children- NACAC

3 Types of Trauma-Dr. Bruce Perry

1. Intrauterine insult; prenatal alcohol or drug exposure, stress during pregnancy

2. Early neglect; mother who is inattentive due to stress, depression, domestic violence, postpartum depression, orphanage, etc.

3. Classic trauma; abuse, molestation, witnessing violence, car accident, medical trauma, etc.

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders- FASD

• FASDs are a set of physical, behavioral and cognitive disorders affecting people who were prenatally exposed to alcohol.

• FASDs are permanent disabilities that result in lifetime brain injury/damage. Below are the main diagnosis’s that fall under the spectrum:

• Fetal Alcohol Syndrome -FAS. (1973): 3 facial features, growth deficits, meet the cognitive profile

• Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome- pFAS (1996): Have some of the physical features but not all. Match the cognitive profile

• Alcohol Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder- ARND (1996)- new name for FAE (Fetal Alcohol Effect): No physical features but brain was impacted by the alcohol. Must have confirmation of alcohol exposure in utero and match the cognitive profile.

Prevalence of FASD

u 2018 research estimates that 1 out of 20 children have an FASD, but mostly go undiagnosed or are misdiagnosed. (May, 2018). *

u 1 out of 40 children have an Autism diagnosis according to 2018 research.** Autism and FASD have many similarities.

*May, P.A., et al. Prevalence of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders in 4 US Communities. JAMA. Online February 6, 2018.

**Guifeng Xu et al. Prevalence and Treatment Patterns of Autism Spectrum Disorder in the United States, JAMA, December 3, 2016

Red Flags for FASD-questions to consider

• Was the child in foster care or is he/she adopted?• NOFAS estimates that 70-80% of children in foster care

were prenatally exposed to alcohol and have an FASD.• 29-68% of Russian adoptions are estimated to show severe

alcohol-related damage• Is there history of chemical dependency issues for child

or for their parents?• Is child easily distracted, hyperactive, inattentive and

impulsive?• Does the individual have an average IQ but functions at

a much lower capacity?• Does the child continue to make the same mistakes?• Does the child appear to not learn from consequences?

Trauma Informed/Therapeutic/Connected/Relational

ParentingWhat is it and how do you do it?

The “Blankie”

Trauma Informed Parenting

Consequence Based Parenting

§ Often causes further trauma to the child

§ Slows down and often stops attachment

§ Can impede felt safety for the child

§ Increases anxiety

So many of these kids have

ALREADY experienced some of the

most severe consequences imaginable

Slow down, let the dishes & laundry pile up- and play with your kids!!!!

PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS!!!!!!

Justin Bieber’s Cell Phone

Reframe

§ Move away from constant consequences which produce stress & anxiety

§ Child is more likely to learn skills when not anxious & stressed

Confabulation(otherwise referred to as “lying”)

• “a memory disturbance, defined as the production of fabricated, distorted or misinterpreted memories about oneself or the world, without the conscious intention to deceive”

• When under pressure, it is almost a given the correct story will not come out (when in trouble,trying to fit in socially, etc.)

• Teach the child how their brain gets confused and is almost trying to trick them and to let adults help them to know when it is confused.

Polly Pocket Airplane -thinking out of the box

Where does Polly

want to travel to?

Never in the history of calming down

has anyone ever calmed down

by being told to calm down.

Escalations/Raging- What not to do

§ Do not tell the child to calm down more than once if even once!!!

§ Stay calm, and try to talk as little as possible

§ Avoid using the child’s name over & over

§ Do not point out consequences- perceived as threat when child is in the red zone

§ Do not respond to cursing or threats

Escalations/Raging- What to do

§ Remember that when a child is on the way to the red zone, or is already there, their auditory processing disappears.

§ Talk as little as possible and in a calm voice.

§ Use phrases like;

§ What do you need from me right now?

§ How can I help you?

§ Know that often once a rage has started, it is just a matter of waiting it out and keeping yourself calm

Recovering from a rage or escalation

§ It takes at least 2 hours for our bodies and brains to recover from an escalation to the point where we are calm and can process the situation.

§ It takes 24 hours or more for a child with an FASD to recover from an escalation to the point where they are calm and can process the situation.

Neuro-typical person Neuro-diverse person

We are often expecting the child to process and make amends for an escalation when they are not yet capable of doing so.

Last serny, Fingledobe and Pribinwere in the nerd-link trepperinggloopy caples and cleaming burly greps.

Suddently a ditty strezzleboofed into Fingledobe’s tresk. Pribinglaped and glaped.

“Oh Fingledobe!” He Chifed, “That ditty strezzle is tunning in your grep!”

-- Walter Barbee

“If you’ve told a child a thousand times, and the child still hasn’t learned- it is not

the child who is the slow learner”

Forgive yourself

§ You will mess up

§ This stuff is not natural, …at first

Ask for Forgiveness & Forgive

Do not hold a grudge or expect apology Do not force or expect apology

§ Know that kids with trauma history often struggle with this.

§ Dig deep and you can sometimes find the non-verbal apology or thank you

Get SUPPORT!!!!!!!!

§ Crucial to success is connecting to other

parents who are parenting similar type of

teens

A foster/adoptive/kinship parent fell in a hole…

Family member said,

§ “You chose to fall in the

hole”

Neighbor said

§ “I’ve never seen a hole

like that before”

Therapist said:

§ “Can you document what happened right before you fell in the

hole, what the potential triggers might be, & how to prevent yourself from

falling in the hole again?”

Case manager said:

§ “We will watch to see if the hole gets

bigger over the next 12 months. What do you need to help you

live in the hole? Ladders are expensive.”

Police said:

“What do you expect

us to do?”

Charity/Non-Profit said:

“Here is a form to fill out to be

put on the waitlist for a

ladder”

Another foster/adoptive/kinship parent said:

“I’m getting in there with you.

I have been here before,

We will work on getting out of here together.

I won’t let you do it alone”

Barb ClarkNACAC Parent Support & Training Specialistbarbclark@nacac.org

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