Www.marsvenuscoaching.com Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus …Even when dealing with Stress.

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www.marsvenuscoaching.com

Men Are From Mars,

Women Are From Venus

…Even when dealing with Stress.

JOHN GRAY VIDEO

Why are we so stressed out?

Life is out of hand

Unrealistic Expectations

SUPERWOMAN

Unrealistic Expectations

2X the Burdens of Our Mothers

The Never-Ending To-Do List

Lack of Appropriate Male Support

Causes…

Causes Elevated Stress Hormones

What is Cortisol?

Weakens Immune System

Shuts-off Digestion

Our Greatest Challenge

1. Men and women cope with stress differently

2. Our differences are intensified by stress

Mars & Venus To Collide

Complaints from Venus

I have to juggle so many things, and he doesn’t seem to care or even want to help.

Complaints from Mars

When I offer to help, she always finds something wrong in my suggestions. Why bother?

Why Mars and Venus Collide

We both go to work. When we get home, why doesn’t he pitch in and help more?

She always finds something new to complain about.

Complaints from Venus

He sits in front of the TV while I do everything. I am not his personal maid.

Complaints from Mars

She wants everything done right now. Why can’t she just relax?

Why Mars and Venus Collide

We never have time for romance anymore. He is either working, watching TV, gone, or sleeping.

When I am in the mood, she is either too tired or overwhelmed with too many other things.

Physiological Differences

Gender differences in the brain's serotonin system

Response differences

In men, stress increased blood flow to the left orbitofrontal cortex suggested activation of the "fight or flight" response.

In women, stress activated the limbic system, which is associated with emotional responses.

Single-Focus versus Multi-Task

The part of the brain that produces cross-talk between the hemispheres is…

25% smaller in Men.

Single-Focus versus Multi-Task

Man’s brain is highly specialized, using a specific part of a single-hemisphere to accomplish a task.

Men get annoyed when a woman interrupts them

Women get more stressed out when a man tries to narrow

down her focus.

Our relationships can be a source of:

stress or

comfort

The Rub

The Different Ways The Genders Cope With Stress Can Actually Increase Stress In The Opposite Sex.

Radically Different Coping Mechanisms

to StressMen…

Male Response

Women…

Radically Different Responses to Stress

What Helps Reduce Stress?

Testosterone

Peaks in the morning

Depleted throughout the day

Needs time to recover

Stimulate Testosterone

Success or the anticipation of success in the relationshipForgetting the problem even momentarilyEngaging in less challenging activity

Watching TVReadingTaking a nap

Going into his cave

Leaving a man alone is sometimes the best way to support him.

Oxytocin – The love and nurturing

hormoneReduces blood pressure, cortisol levels and fear

Creates a feeling of attachment

Increases maternal behavior and sexual interest

Oxytocin

Decreases when feeling…• Alone • Ignored• Unsupported• Unimportant• Rushed• Overwhelmed

Oxytocin

Testosterone generating activities at work reduce woman’s Oxytocin levels…

Comes home without abundance of Oxytocin.

Returning home after work causes most women’s stress to INCREASE.

Overwhelming

Oxytocin

Increases with trust and anticipation of needs being met…including a simple hug, conversation and show of support.

Increases when helping, caring, sharing or befriending without expectations.

Increases when nurturing self

A woman’s greatest challenge

• caring for herself as much as she is caring for others.

One Solution…

Men Need To Feel Needed and Women Need To Feel They Are Not Alone.

Normal StuffManage your time

Exercise regularly

Get adequate sleep

Eat a healthy diet

Be assertive

Live in the now

Filling-up the Oxytocin Tank

Yourself (90%)

Do something nice for yourself and othersPlan special occasionAsk for helpSchedule a walk & talkGrow/make somethingCreate a “Have Done” listReach out to friendsHire a coach

By Him (10%)

Hug her 4x a dayLeave her a noteTake her on a dateGive her a flowerNotice herListen to herCompliment herGive her a spa dayHelp her without being asked

Mars Venus Reach out to people …talk

Allow the to-do list to end… at least for the day

Recognize the differences You NEED to connect, be heard He NEEDS to escape or feel needed

Www.marsvenuscoaching.com Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus …Even when dealing with Stress.

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