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2011 National Fatherhood Initiative 1
Responsible Fatherhood: What’s Mom Got To Do With It?________________________________________________
Improving the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children with involved, responsible, and committed fathers in their lives.
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Why are moms so critical to responsible fatherhood programs? What we heard from the field
Barriers dads face with moms Maternal gatekeeping Awareness issues (internal and external) Communication issues
NFI resources for moms
Overview
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Father joins a fatherhood group
Why Are Moms So Critical?
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Father understands his irreplaceable role
Why Are Moms So Critical?
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Father builds fathering skills
Why Are Moms So Critical?
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Father tries to reconnect with his child
Why Are Moms So Critical?
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Father runs into barriers with mom
Why Are Moms So Critical?
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Maternal Gatekeeping (Definition) Refers to a mother’s protective beliefs about the
desirability of a father’s involvement in their child’s life, and the behaviors acted upon that either facilitate or hinder collaborative childrearing between the parents.
Barriers Dads Face With Moms
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Maternal Gatekeeping (Behavioral Aspects) How the mother speaks about the father in the
presence of their child and others To what extent the father is included or updated on
the child’s health, schooling or social life The extent to which the mother communicates to the
father that she knows what is best for their child and the correct way to do things—while he does not.
Barriers Dads Face With Moms
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Maternal Gatekeeping (Reasons) Difficulty relinquishing familial responsibility Validation of her identity as the “mother” Age of the child View the father as incompetent or even dangerous to
the child Based on actual evidence; or On personal perceptions of him and his failures in the male
familial role
Barriers Dads Face With Moms
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Maternal Gatekeeping (Affects) The ability of the child to adjust to parental divorce or
separation is weakened Can damage the father-child relationship Can damage the parents’ ability to cooperate and keep
their conflict levels low and out of the child’s earshot or awareness
Threat to the overall well-being and adjustment of the child
Barriers Dads Face With Moms
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Awareness Issues What impact does her upbringing have on her
relationship with the father(s) of her children and men in general?
Does she understand the importance of the father’s involvement in the lives of their children?
Barriers Dads Face With Moms
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Communication Issues Poor patterns of communication Timing of communication Lack of communication tools Poor listening skills
Barriers Dads Face With Moms
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Group-based program 8, 1-2 hour sessions Helps moms focus on the goal of
accomplishing communication and awareness objectives that are vital to improving the relationships between them and the father(s) of their children
Understanding Dad™
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Increase mothers’ knowledge, positive attitudes, and skills associated with improving their relationships with the fathers of their children
Increase mothers’ awareness of the impact that their upbringing (e.g. their relationships with their own fathers) has had on their relationships with the fathers of their children and men in general
Increase mothers’ understanding of the importance of fathers’ involvement in the lives of their children
Increase positive interactions between mothers and the fathers of their children
Understanding Dad™
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
3-session workshop Increase mothers’ awareness of what gatekeeping
is, how it operates, and how it is sometimes misused out of anger and hurt
Offer concrete examples that will facilitate mothers’ understanding of the negative impact of excessive gatekeeping and the importance of supporting father involvement
Engage mothers in exercises that will facilitate the reduction of restrictive maternal gatekeeping behaviors that inhibit father engagement.
Mom As Gateway™
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative
Pocketbook for Moms Co-Parenting Communication New moms
For Baby’s Health tip cards
Tip Cards & Brochures For Moms
2011 National Fatherhood Initiative 18
Responsible Fatherhood: What’s Mom Got To Do With It?________________________________________________
Erik VecereVice President, Program [email protected]