-A.R.M.S.-TM

Abortion Recovery Mentoring Support

-Presented by Stacy L. MasseyMy Vision of God… by Quyhn Thi Vidal

The Message

Then, gathering the children up in His arms, he laid His hands of blessing on them.

-Mark 10:16 (The Message)

 

Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through

everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God.

-James 5:10 (The Message)

Workshop Notes

• This workshop will be posted on the ARIN website following the conclusion of the conference.

• Feel free to download this information and necessary forms.

Just What is Mentoring?

• Mentoring helps people achieve personal success.

• Mentors are caring individuals who provide: support, counsel, friendship and reinforcement.

• Abortion Recovery Mentoring results in authentic empowerment, on-going healing and enhances the overall experience for both Mentee and Mentor.

Abortion Recovery and Mentoring?

• Mentoring relationships can be very rewarding for both parties.

• They provide opportunity to communicate experiences of awareness and knowledge.

• Sharing stories, backgrounds, a sporting event or even a cup of coffee can alter the way we feel supported during the abortion recovery process.

What Makes Mentoring Work?

• Conducting reasonably intensive screening of potential mentors

• Making matches based on interests that both the mentor and the mentee share

• Providing more than six hours of training for mentors

• Offering post-match training and support.

Mentor’s Job DescriptionTitle: Abortion Recovery Mentor

Purpose: To support a person, negatively affected by an abortion, through the recovery process.

Duties:

M MotivateE EncourageN NurtureT Touch the mentees’ heartO Offer SupportR Role model for Christ – BE

ONE!

Mentor’s Qualifcations

Qualifications:

• A willing listener

• Encouraging and supportive

• Patient and flexible

• Tolerant and respectful of individual/cultural differences

• Committed to the relationship, abortion recovery process and time required

Mentor’s CommittmentsTime Commitment:

• One hour initial interview

• Six hours+ of initial training in after abortion trauma issues

• Two-three hours each week during the abortion recovery process for mentee/mentor communication.

• Further training in related topics: sexual abuse, addictions, co-dependency, etc.

• Optional mentor/mentee events and meetings

Benefits to Mentor

• Fulfillment through contribution to the mentee and the group overall (as well as to society and community)

• Satisfaction in helping someone work through the shame, guilt and grief from a past abortion

• Better compassion and understanding toward those wounded by abortion

• A greater insight to the different trauma abortion leaves behind

• Continued steps of personal healing as they hold someone else’s hand.

Benefits to Mentee

• A partner/couple to support their journey through the abortion recovery process.

• A big sister/brother/couple who has personally experienced the trauma issues first hand.

• Having a mentor who knows the expectations of the “work” required in the curriculum / bible study.

• Witnesses a role model for Christ. Maybe led to the Lord if not already a Christian.

• Gains networking opportunities, improved communication skills and diversity awareness.

Benefits to AR Center / Program

• Ongoing support for women/men/couples going through the abortion recovery process.

• Continues the opportunity to group members to experience expanded healing.

• Creates an opportunity for “mentors” to consider assisting in the abortion recovery program as a co-leader or eventually lead their own group.

• Thus an expansion of abortion recovery centers / programs within your community. Yippeee!

Mentor Application Process

• Fill out Mentor Application and sign Confidentiality Statement

• Provide 2 written references with application

• Interview with Abortion Recovery Center Director/Specialist and Volunteer Staff member/s

• If selected, attend ARMS Program Orientation

• Complete 6 hours of initial Mentor training

Sample Mentor Application

Sample Mentee Application

When Matching – Also Consider…

• God’s Input

• Levels of commitment

• Shared areas of interest

• Balanced Expectations

• Mutually Respectful Relationship

• Open, Two-way Communication

• Conflict Resolution Strategies

Orientation Night

• Have selected Mentors at your orientation night welcoming new abortion recovery clients.

• A few Mentors should share their personal abortion story and how the recovery process changed their lives.

• Match up Mentee and Mentor for a “get-to-know-you” type activity.

• Share the Abortion Recovery Phone/Email List for your group at the end of your orientation night.

What Not to Expect…

• Don’t expect the first “team” to be a good fit– If the initial relationships do not work,

don’t get frustrated– Have a back-up person who can step in

• Don’t expect immediate results or “bonding”– Getting to know a person is a gradual process

• Don’t expect the mentee to be the main “contact person”– The mentor should be the primary “caller” in the

beginning

You Determine The Accountability

• Abortion Recovery Director, or other leadership team member needs to check in with the mentors throughout the recovery process.

• It is advisable to determine a method of communication between leadership team and mentors.

• Designate a leadership team member to also check in with mentees periodically.

Mentors at Memorial?

• Consider including the mentors in the Memorial / Dedication ceremony.

• Abortion Recovery clients should determine whether this is an option for their group.

• ARIN believes that support group participants should design their own memorial. Mentors can attend, but should NOT plan the active group memorial / dedication ceremonies.

Sample Mentor Evaluation

• List and explain the ways you felt prepared as a Mentor for this Abortion Recovery Class:

• List and explain the ways you felt unprepared as a Mentor for this Abortion Recovery Class:

• Did you feel you were able to spend enough time with your Mentee? What suggestions do you have to facilitate getting together more throughout the class?

• Do you feel your relationship with your Mentee moved from a mentoring relationship to a friendship-type relationship? Explain.

• Do you recommend your Mentee become a Mentor him/herself? If so, in what areas would he/she benefit others?

Summary: Abortion Recovery

Mentoring…

• M: Motivates the overall collabortion of the group setting

• E Encourages both mentors and mentee

• N Nutures the mentoree by coming along side

• T Touches the heart of both mentor and mentee

• O Offers support to leaders and mentees

• R Role model for Christ

Thank You

• Thank you for attending this workshop and any others on the Abortion Recovery tract.

• We’d appreciate your support of Abortion Recovery InterNational and our affiliates.

• Other ideas for steps to expand the recovery process will be listed on the ARIN website following the Heartbeat Conference.