C.V.O. CA'S NEWS & VIEWS

Compiled by:

CA Nisha Ninad Gala

Assertiveness

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VOL. 23 - NO. 6 - JANUARY 2020

# Have you come across situations where you :-

Are unable to say NO

Have a suggestion but don't want to speak up in the group

Share a view different from the rest of the group and feel pulled down

Accept other people's viewpoints just to please them

Find yourself in a self doubting situation most of the times

Want to have things your way and get annoyed if they don't

Find others thinking you are dominating

Aspiring to be a winner and lead at all times

Do not tend to bother about the others point of view or feelings

Think you are always right

These are examples of either passive behaviour or aggressive behaviour.

Passive behaviour is a characteristic of people who seek to avoid conflict or criticism. These people

most likely allow others to make choices or take decisions for them. Aggressive behaviour is opposite of

passive behaviour.

Aggressive behaviour is shown through a loud voice and /or actions, demanding tone, dominating

roles assumed. People with such characteristic need to have control with themselves, ensure that their own

wishes and demands are fulfilled, even at the cost of others discomfort. These behaviours may work in some

situations, but are not desirable for a long term and overall for the group or team and even for the individual

personally.

Extreme passive or aggressive behaviours are often the triggers or possible reasons why there are

situations where

Tasks do not get done as desired or in the time frame required.

barriers in communication lead to rifts

meetings are ineffective because participants do not speak up

there are team disputes and environment of discontent

there is a lack of ownership and responsibility in the organisation

the performance levels are low

there is a lack of motivation ……and so on

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Assertiveness is a positive

quality that strikes a perfect

balance between passive

behaviour and aggressive

behaviour.

Being Assertive means feeling good about yourself and looking after your own interests as well as those

of others

It is about a direction that you are taking rather than being at someone else's beck and call.

It is also about being more self confident , standing up for your own point of view , valuing your own

judgement

Being assertive does not mean being aggressive , nor does it mean bottling u

Assertive people tend to be

Less stressed

More confident 'Good at dealing with others

Better members of a team

� � � � � People with assertiveness skills can

Present their view more confidently and have their voices heard

Deal more effectively and aggressive people

Get things done their way and earn greater respect

Know how to tell people bad things about themselves

Know how to criticise constructively

Be more relaxed and have more energy

Here are some everyday situations. Take a dive at these questions and identify your possible behaviour in

these situations. Look for the most likely behaviour:

1. You get tele-callers calling and selling you insurance and mutual funds practically every other day.

How do you respond ?

2. You are out at a restaurant with your friends. One of your friend mocks at you making demeaning

remarks in a fun way . What will be your reaction?

3. You are catching up with your favourite television series, when your sibling comes up demanding the

remote. Would you give away your remote ?

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4. At work, there is an interesting assignment which has come up. Your senior asks your team if anyone

interested to take up. Two of your other colleagues also show interest. You too think it's a great

opportunity not to be missed. How do you ensure you are involved ?

5. It is your first meeting at a new office. At the meeting, there is a discussion about a topic you are

proficient at. However, the other team members are not aware of the fact. Would you make your

presence felt ?

6. At a society meeting, a proposal for collection is shared by the secretary which you are not convinced at

all. The majority raise their hands in approval. Would you speak up?

7. You bought a gift for someone, and the person out rightly expressed an honest view that reflected that

he /she did not like the gift too much. What would be your reaction?

8. There is thought you have expressed about a particular issue on a social media platform. It has had

many negative comments and feedback. Would you counter argue?

There are no right or wrong answers to the above situations. The answers would be mere indicators of a

particular behavioural pattern and behaviours can be changed or modified.

Assertiveness is a behavioural pattern which can be learnt through practice and techniques.

In the next article we will delve more into the assertiveness techniques.

Source : Assertiveness a practical guide by David Bohman-Carter