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Essay Writing Guide

Sunitha Ramaiah

2 jdMission: Essay Writing Guide - © jdMission Inc.

A law degree will open many doors, but first you need to get accepted to law school. We at jdMission are committed to helping you create an application package that will dazzle the admissions committees and give you the best chance of gaining acceptance to your dream law school. Our dedicated admissions consultants will work one-on-one with you to help you identify what sets you apart from your fellow applicants, and to convince admissions committees that their school’s next class will not be complete without you. All of our consultants are graduates of top law schools as well as published authors, and are devoted to helping you communicate the distinct characteristics that will distinguish you from the rest of the applicant pool. Whether you are a JD candidate or an LLM candidate, a first-time applicant or a transfer student, we will not stop until you are completely satisfied with your application. Your legal career begins with jdMission.

About jdMission

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About the Author

After graduating from the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University, Sunitha Ramaiah was awarded a fellowship to work in Washington, DC, as a liaison in Congressman Gary Ackerman’s office. During her tenure, she founded a political action committee to mobilize the Indian-American community to become more involved in society’s political and social fabric and served as an editor of The Indian American as a means of reaching out to the second-generation Indian-American community. She later attended Columbia University School of Law, where she was founder of the South Asian Law Students Association and a founding member of the South Asian Bar Association. She practiced as a corporate attorney for eight years, specializing in mergers and acquisitions at Dewey Ballantine and later in private equity at the boutique firm of O’Sullivan, Graev and Karabell. Sunitha is now general counsel and president of Bombay Talkie, LLC, a chain of restaurants with a hip take on Indian street food.


jdMission Consultants

jdMission has numerous qualified consultants ready to help you polish and perfect your law school application(s). Here are just a few of the members of our incredible team.

Danielle Rothman, Senior ConsultantDanielle Rothman is intimately familiar with the law school admissions process. After earning a degree in human development at Cornell University, she headed to Harvard Law School, where she was an editor on The Harvard Women’s Law Journal and a producer with the HLS Drama Society. After graduation, Danielle started her legal career in general corporate practice at Hughes Hubbard and Reed, and went on to specialize in hedge fund law at a boutique firm in New York. Currently, she is using both her BS and her JD by wearing multiple hats at Manhattan LSAT and Manhattan GMAT, where she serves as both general counsel and human resources and recruitment manager. Danielle is a member of the Cornell Alumni Admissions Ambassador Network and is a volunteer tutor, helping prepare underprivileged high school students for the SAT.

Yael Melamed, Senior ConsultantAfter gaining admission to Harvard Law School, Yael Melamed decided to instead pursue an MBA and enrolled at Harvard Business School (HBS), where she was president of the Luxury Goods and Design Business Club and helped edit “Gretta Enterprises,” a LEAD case. Before attending HBS, Yael was a management consultant in Accenture’s Media & Entertainment Practice. After receiving her MBA, she became director of marketing at Estée Lauder’s Bumble and bumble, a luxury hair care company, where she created a turnaround strategy for Bb.Treatment, a failing sub-brand. At Bumble, Yael wrote packaging and collateral copy, and edited the Business Review, an internal publication with a distribution of 20,000. For the past several years, Yael has been an admissions consultant with mbaMission and has successfully helped dozens of clients gain admission to top business schools. Yael is also a founding board member of Roseann’s Gift, a national charity established in honor of her best friend’s mother that works to increase awareness of and funding to detect lung cancer at its earliest and most treatable stages.

Mili Mittal, Senior ConsultantMili Mittal was accepted to six top-ten law schools but decided to instead pursue her MBA at the Haas School of Business at UC Berkeley, where she also earned a Certificate in Entrepreneurship. At Haas, Mili worked on several start-up ventures and founded myChef, an online cooking and recipe platform. She also served as a board member for the Destiny Arts Center and was sponsorship chair for the Global Social Venture Competition. Before attending Haas, Mili was a management consultant with the Corporate Executive Board Company in Washington, DC, where she helped launch a new IT performance benchmarking service and authored dozens of white papers and studies on topics ranging from performance management

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to network infrastructure best practices. Mili has also authored and delivered several benchmark research studies, presentations and client reports. Mili was cofounder of the Rhythmaya Dance Company and associate director of the Rhythmaya School of Dance from 2005 to 2008. She received her BA in public policy studies from Duke University.

Benjamin Shinewald, Senior ConsultantAs a result of his unusual and diverse career, Benjamin Shinewald has developed outstanding writing and editing skills. Benjamin earned a master’s degree in international relations from the London School of Economics, where he sat on the editorial board of the Millennium Journal of International Studies, and a Juris Doctor from the University of Toronto (Canada’s top law school), where he was an assistant editor of the University of Toronto Faculty of Law Review and president of the Students’ Law Society. As a practicing lawyer and an English-language law clerk to the Chief Justice of Israel, Benjamin developed a keen eye for detail and a powerful ability for crafting arguments. Benjamin’s most recent positions include working as a senior analyst to the Prime Minister of Canada, a role that has required him to write dozens of briefing notes to two prime ministers—and one that has further honed his ability to write effectively. Benjamin’s published work has appeared in a variety of leading newspapers.


All of jdMission’s consultants have been accepted into elite law schools, which means we have learned a thing or two about what it takes to compel an admissions committee to send that coveted letter of acceptance. Although we always work closely and meticulously with our clients to ensure their unique stories and qualities shine through in their application essays, some of our advice boils down to key fundamentals: approach each essay with a brainstorming session, draft an outline, make personal statements truly personal. Now, via this e-book, we offer you our thoughts on these topics and more so that you too can begin your journey toward the JD of your dreams.

Many applicants are terrified at the prospect of applying to law school, and some approach their application in a haphazard and ill-advised manner. As a result, the process often becomes extremely stressful, and results can be disappointing. We truly believe that with some basic organization, a simple strategy and helpful professional guidance, applying to law school can actually be enjoyable and rewarding, not to mention successful!

We encourage you to visit our Web site, www.jdmission.com, which includes regular news postings about top American and international law schools, as well as a free weekly JD admissions tip, professor and school resource profiles and more. Explore our blog frequently, as we are constantly updating it and adding new, free resources.

Of course, the information in this guide and the analysis and tips on our site are no substitute for working with a dedicated jdMission professional. Each JD candidate is unique. We all have distinct personal stories to tell, and we all face challenges in telling them. jdMission consultants are specifically trained to ensure that you tell your stories in the most interesting and compelling way—and that you take advantage of even the tiniest opportunity that might help you gain admission to your ideal law program.

We hope you enjoy this guide and find it helpful in preparing your JD application. If you need any advice at all with respect to any element of applying to law school, please feel free to contact us for a free consultation.

Jeremy [email protected] 646-485-8844 Skype: jdMission

Introduction

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Your law school application essays are your chance to show the admissions committee who you are as an individual and to demonstrate why you would be a valuable addition to the school’s next entering class. Writing these essays causes a great deal of angst for many candidates, even though the subject matter of the essays is the candidates themselves. We hope this guide will not only help you craft the most compelling and effective essays you can, but also remove much of the stress and confusion from the process.

In this guide, we will walk you through the entire essay writing process in detail, from drafting outlines that will facilitate the writing process to adopting certain styles and approaches that will frame your personal stories in a more engaging way—one that will make the admissions committee take notice!

Part I: Preparing Outlines for Your Essays

Years of experience have proven to us at jdMission that virtually every law school applicant is better off creating outlines for his/her essays before beginning to write the first full drafts. You are a busy person— maybe you are balancing your final year of college, a part-time job, LSAT study and your social life. Or perhaps you are already in the work force and are logging 60 hours a week, plus studying for the LSAT, engaging in community activities, trying to maintain a personal life and more. Whatever your circumstances, you need every precious minute. Why not bring some efficiency and organization to the essay writing process?

Truth be told, many candidates’ first reaction to the suggestion that they create outlines for their essays rather than simply diving into writing the first drafts is not a positive one. They imagine that this “extra” step will add time and complicate their application process when in fact, creating outlines can not only help streamline one’s essay writing but can also go a long way in boosting the resulting essays’ effectiveness. By taking the time to first organize your thoughts in the form of shorter phrases and terms, you will more easily see how your story unfolds and ensure that no gaps occur in the information you are trying to convey. This means a stronger, more persuasive final essay and, in most cases, fewer rounds of editing and revision.

The Outline as Roadmap

Think of your essay outline as a kind of roadmap, one that guides you smoothly from the beginning of your story to the end, noting each important milestone along the way. Each major heading—or, if you prefer, each bullet point—should therefore consist of a very brief summary of a bigger idea. In other words, it should capture your key point but should not include the background, explanation or descriptive details, leaving those for the first draft of the essay. Simply put, the key in creating your outline is to provide a concise overview of what you intend to write in your actual essay.

Essay Writing


When you are constructing your outline, you can use very informal language, and you do not need to worry about using full sentences or proper grammar. After all, you are not submitting your outline to anyone—it is for “internal use only,” so to speak. Again, keep in mind that your outline should be just a brief overview of your longer essay. In general, we recommend that your outline be no longer than approximately 50% of the total word or page count allowed in the essay. For example, outlining a 500-word essay using eight bullet points of 100 words each would be pointless—your outline would be longer than your final essay would be, and this would not facilitate a more organized, efficient or enjoyable writing experience.

The Super Summary

Your first step in outlining any essay is to compose one very clear sentence that captures the key idea that ties your entire essay together. This “super summary” of your essay will help you focus your thoughts and structure your work, much like a thesis sentence would for a more scientific or theoretical text. This is a nuanced but important point (one that we explore in depth in the second half of this guide): for your law school application essays, you are not attempting to use a thesis to “prove” a point factually but instead are trying to construct a narrative that describes a central idea or experience from your life. So, you may start out with a well-structured outline and a clear thesis, but these will likely be softened and made less explicit in your first and subsequent drafts.

In Sample Essay A, which appears in full later in this section, the candidate is answering the question “Think about what you would want to convey in an interview and what you can contribute to the law school. This may include your background, unique experiences, and the things that interest and motivate you. (University of Chicago Law School, 2–3 pages).” As you will see, the applicant has chosen to write about his experience as a volunteer children’s soccer coach. A good super summary for him to build his essay around might then be “Using creative techniques and enthusiastic leadership in my role as a soccer coach, I helped bridge the cultural gap between Spanish-speaking immigrants from Colombia and their American-born, English-speaking children.”

This super summary works well because it presents the structure of the entire essay in one concise sentence. You now know exactly what the essay is going to discuss (the writer’s experience as a children’s soccer coach) and how the essay will be focused. From this sentence, the candidate could then organize a structure for the essay, creating a loose outline of its key paragraphs, as follows:

Super Summary: “Using creative techniques and enthusiastic leadership in my role as a soccer coach, I helped bridge the cultural gap between Spanish-speaking immigrants from Colombia and their American-born, English-speaking children.”

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Paragraphs 1 and 2: Introduction to the challenges encountered by Colombian immigrants in Union City, New Jersey

Paragraph 3: Actions taken to improve their circumstancesParagraph 4: Results of the actions takenParagraph 5: Lessons learned (“Takeaways”)

Breaking It Down

Now, to create a logical and defined structure for these paragraphs, some short bullet points should be added to support the central idea within each paragraph. Once this has been done, writing the actual essay becomes much less difficult. Consider the following:

Paragraphs 1 and 2: Introduction to the challenges encountered by Colombian immigrants in Union City, New Jersey• Recognized the reality of life for low-income immigrants in the United States• Decided that the situation needed to change• Created a soccer team to try to bring variety and joy to the lives of the immigrant teenagers

Paragraph 3: Actions taken to improve their circumstances• Identified the cultural and language divide between the immigrant parents and their American-born

children• Took difficult step of insisting that teenagers speak only Spanish during practices• “Adopted” a professional soccer team from Colombia to follow, giving teenagers a sense of belonging to

something larger than Union City’s isolated community

Paragraph 4: Results of the actions taken• Parents and teenagers found ways to bridge the cultural gap• Games gave way to weekend fiestas• Teenagers and parents listened more, were more energetic on and off the field, began to have real fun

and learn• An ad hoc internship clinic was created

Paragraph 5: Lessons learned (“Takeaways”)• Found rewards in the relationships formed through the practices • Teenagers showed pride in their hyphenated identities


And here is the actual essay, following this sample outline.

Sample Essay A

“Think about what you would want to convey in an interview and what you can contribute to the law school. This may include your background, unique experiences, and the things that interest and motivate you.” (2–3 pages)

“GOOOOOOOL! GOL! GOL! GOL!” Every day for two years, at exactly 4:00 a.m., my father would wake me with this unique alarm, so that I would be on time for my morning soccer drills with America de Cali, a professional soccer team in Colombia with whom I had the privilege of training when I was young. Although my dreams of playing professionally ended after I suffered a serious knee injury, I continued to play for the joy of the game, the companionship and the pride it brought, and I was fortunate to share these benefits with the teenage children of Colombian immigrants I met when I first arrived in the United States.

Growing up, my friends and I imagined the United States as a place where anything and everything fortuitous could happen to us immediately upon arrival. When, at the age of 30, I first visited my aunts and their families in Union City, New Jersey, however, very little in their lives resembled the images from my youthful imagination. Instead of the houses we had conjured in our dreams, their houses were actually just single rooms, each room occupied by a large family, all families sharing cramped amenities. They worked long hours just to pay the bills, and my cousins rarely left their apartments, let alone Union City. I understood struggle, having experienced it firsthand, but I could not accept the despondency and defeat I saw in my aunts and their families. I wanted to give my cousins and their friends, who were also the children of immigrants, a window into a different world, and I did so using—of all things—a mere soccer ball. A quick pick-up game with my cousins turned into weekly lessons with them and a group of their peers. These teenagers would not stop playing until late into the night. At America de Cali, I had learned how to run clinics that were practical yet fun, and I was able to use these skills to coach my cousins and their friends. Suddenly, I was seeing these young people outdoors, animated, smiling and relishing the sunlight.

These teenagers were growing up immersed in U.S. culture—they were fans of American football and rooted for the New York Giants, they barely spoke their native Spanish and for them, soccer was but a newborn pastime in the United States. Their parents did not share the teenagers’ appreciation for this “new sport” of American football, and lamented the loss of the connection a shared language would have provided. However, as they watched their children learn and enjoy the sport of their youth, the gap between them began to close.

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My insistence that we all try to speak only Spanish during the practices aided this process. We also “adopted” a soccer team from Pereira, Colombia—my hometown—and followed its games religiously (with zeal and a ton of paisa food) throughout the season. As a result, the kids gained a sense of belonging to something larger than the isolated immigrant community of Union City. Along the way, they also learned about Pereira’s remarkable coffee culture, about Colombia’s great heritage and about their own great cultural inheritance. I now saw pride in their faces—pride in themselves and in their community.

As the soccer season drew to a close, our weekend games were soon replaced with fiestas each weekend at a different player’s home, and everyone was invited. To the sounds of vallenatos (traditional music of Colombia), we ate arepa de choclo (corn cakes), sopa de sancocho (chicken stew) and, our favorite, chocolate con pan (bread soaked in homemade chocolate). During these parties, the older teenagers, many of whom were ready for their first full-time job, would talk about their aspirations for the future. These conversations sometimes led to informal internships with my friends and acquaintances in New York City that I helped arrange. For example, one of the players went to work for a friend of mine from Brazil who had just started an event planning company in midtown Manhattan. Another came to work for my wife and me in our Indian restaurant in Chelsea so he could learn about restaurant management. These young people’s eyes were opened to the wonderfully vibrant city in their backyard as well as to the innumerable and exciting opportunities it presented.

These kids’ fervor for soccer led them to embrace their hyphenated identities, to be proud U.S. citizens of Latin American descent. As any soccer player will attest, true magic can be found in the spin of a soccer ball.

An outline should serve as a simple guide for writing a narrative, not dictate an essay’s definitive and inalterable structure. If, while composing Sample Essay A, the writer had thought of a new takeaway or felt that the essay was taking shape in a slightly different way, that would be fine—he/she would simply need to revise the outline accordingly, ensuring that the amended outline still worked as a roadmap, effectively guiding the reader from the beginning of the story to the end, and that all the key milestones along the way made sense within context. The overarching idea here is to use the outline to get organized and to start in the right direction with a clear foundation.


Part II: Writing Effective Essays

For some applicants, writing their law school essays may be an entirely new writing experience. Although some may have written history essays or English literature papers in college, for example, others may not have written any essays at all. And those who do have some experience writing formal essays are most likely used to trying to prove an argument in their text, not communicating an image of themselves through an introspective personal essay.

In writing your essays for your law school applications, you will encounter three types of essay questions. The first is the abundantly flexible essay question that asks you to write about anything of significance to you that might help the admissions committee make its decision (the “free-form essay”). The second is the straightforward essay question that asks you to explain to the admissions committee why you are applying to law school (the “personal statement”). The third is the “optional” essay question, which many law schools pose, about how you will add to the diversity of the class. We discuss and include a sample essay for each of these types of essay questions in this guide.

The free-form essay allows the law school admissions committee to learn more about you as a person. The committee basically wants to know whether you are, first, likeable, and, second, interesting; in other words, will your potential future classmates enjoy seeing you in class, and do you bring a diverse element (e.g., race, socioeconomic status, age, religion, travels, heritage, sexual orientation, professional career track, academic history, athletic prowess, unusual hobby) to the classroom and the school as a whole? This is not the time to reiterate what the admissions committee already knows about you from the other portions of your application, your resume and your recommendations. Instead, this essay is your chance to “wow” your admissions reader with a uniquely personal and passionate story that will convince him/her that you possess qualities that would make you an asset to the incoming law school class. Sample Essay A in Part I of this guide is a free-form essay that describes the writer’s passion for soccer and the way in which he used that passion to change the lives of the children of poor Colombian immigrants in America.

The personal statement is a great deal more straightforward than the free-form essay, though it is not necessarily easier to write. Effectively communicating to the admissions committee why you want to go to law school requires a good deal of self-awareness and self-study. Career changers in particular have to make truly convincing and reasoned arguments about their decision to pursue a law degree. What brings about self-awareness and facilitates self-study? Research, research, research. This includes visiting law schools, sitting in on classes, speaking with law professors and students, visiting the schools’ career services office and/or even working for a time in the legal profession.


Moreover, your personal statement must convince the admissions committee that attending law school is the logical—if not necessary—next step in your life’s pursuit. For example, a social worker citing frustrations with the foster care system could make a convincing argument for wanting to work in the field of juvenile law. Later in this guide we provide an example of a personal statement in which the author convincingly demonstrates why she would ultimately like to work for a legal defense fund (Sample Essay C).

We recommend that you approach the “optional” diversity essay as not actually optional at all. You can always find something about yourself that will set you apart from others in your law school class and to convince the admissions committee that you would be a welcome addition. This essay is usually shorter than the free-form essay and the personal statement. We would recommend limiting yourself to one double-spaced page, though typically, schools do not stipulate an exact guideline for this essay. Later in this guide, we provide an example of a diversity statement in which the author writes about overcoming her struggle with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (Sample Essay B). Consider a Narrative Approach

Narratives are categorized by a more subtle approach to writing, wherein the central facts are not just bluntly introduced but are presented in a way that lets them speak for themselves and paint a rounded picture of an experience. Further, the narratives relayed in your law school application essays need to be about you, the candidate, so the text must be written from the first-person perspective—using “I,” “me” and “my,” rather than “one,” “he/she” and “his/her.”

Let us return to the example of writing about soccer as a way to reveal your passions. Consider the following introductory sentences:

Example A: Soccer is a national passion and way of life in Colombia. As a Colombian myself, I have been playing soccer constantly since I could walk, when I laced up my cleats for the first time. I had the privilege of sharing my passion with the children of Colombian immigrants in the United States.

Example B: “GOOOOOOOL! GOL! GOL! GOL!” Every day for two years, at exactly 4:00 a.m., my father would wake me with this unique alarm, so that I would be on time for my morning soccer drills with America de Cali, a professional soccer team in Colombia with whom I had the privilege of training when I was young. Although my dreams of playing professionally ended after I suffered a serious knee injury, I continued to play for the joy of the game, the companionship and the pride it brought, and I was fortunate to share these benefits with the teenage children of Colombian immigrants I met when I first arrived in the United States.


Which of these sample introductions resonates with you and creates a more compelling image of the person you are reading about? We expect that you would choose the latter! The first follows more of a traditional essay approach, and the second takes a narrative approach. So, what are some of the key differences between these two options?

A narrative is characterized by the first-person perspective. Consider the line “soccer is a national passion and a way of life in Colombia” from Example A. This is a statement of fact that focuses on things other than the writer, not a first-person description of a personal experience like we see in Example B; note the many uses of the word “I” in the latter example.

Complementing this first-person perspective is a sense of ownership. “Soccer is a national passion and a way of life” is not a statement that applies exclusively to the writer. In fact, this objective statement could be made by just about anyone (and statements that are not specific to the writer are especially to be avoided in application essays). In contrast, that many people would share the exact same experience of wanting to give their immigrant cousins a different perspective on life by teaching them soccer is rather improbable—which means the chances of two people both writing the sentences used in Example B are almost nil. By creating truly personal statements based on your unique experiences, you alone own the story, and this can help set you apart from the competition when you are applying to law school.

One concern many applicants have is that a narrative approach might be difficult to execute, but we firmly believe that it is actually easier than traditional essay writing because it allows the writer to simply consider and convey actual events and experiences as they occurred. Writing a narrative does not require using long, complex sentences or sophisticated adjectives with multiple syllables. In fact, simplicity is truly the rule. Once again, consider Example B. The language is not particularly elaborate—“companionship” may be the most complex word in the three sentences!

Furthermore, when writing a simple narrative (they can be more complicated if you have the skill, but they do not need to be to make your point), you want to be sure to maintain the momentum in your story—that your description of the experience is constantly moving forward. To do this, continuously ask yourself, “And then what happened?,” and generally, you should be able to keep reporting the events as they occurred. As long as your core story is strong and you maintain a connection from sentence to sentence, writing the details of your narrative should allow you to create an interesting essay. After all, you are simply relating a personal experience you had, not trying to prove a thesis or make disconnected facts fit together. On the other hand, when you start your essay with an overarching and generic statement such as “Soccer is a national passion and


way of life in Colombia,” knowing how to answer the question “And then what happened?” and getting the story to unfold from there is much more difficult.

In addition, writing an essay using a narrative approach facilitates a certain earnestness. In Example A, the writer states, “As a Colombian myself, I have been playing soccer constantly since I could walk.” Although this is not as pushy as telling the reader straight out “I am a great soccer player,” it still uses stark language and a rather boastful tone. In Example B, however, the reader learns that the individual is passionate about soccer but does so by witnessing the writer’s passion rather than simply being told it exists. The reader naturally understands it from the nature and tone of the narrative. Showing Versus Telling

Indeed, a journalistic maxim is at play here—“Show, don’t tell!”—which captures the essence of narrative writing. Rather than “telling” your reader that you are passionate about soccer, for example, show the reader by relating a personal experience. Consider the following examples of telling versus showing:

Example C:Tell: My father loves children and will do anything help one. Sometimes he goes to extreme lengths to help a child. He will go out of his way to save a child from embarrassment or harm.

Show: Seeing a child being taunted by the neighborhood bully at the school bus stop, my father, although extremely late for work, intervened by walking the child to school.

Example D:Tell: I love to travel and have visited more than 20 countries on four continents, primarily in the Middle East, where I became fluent in various Arabic dialects.

Show: Algeria, Tunisia, Morocco and Egypt—after six months in these countries, I found myself comfortably speaking colloquial Arabic over tea with the locals.

Again, you will notice that although the underlying message is the same in each set of examples, the method of conveying the message is different. When you show an idea or experience in your writing, you invite your reader into your story and have a better chance of maintaining his/her attention from that point on.


Sample Essay B (The Optional Essay That Is Not Really an Option)

Many top law schools ask candidates to provide a brief supplemental statement they believe will help the admissions committee make a fully informed decision about the applicant. The committee especially welcomes addenda that allow it to better understand how the applicant’s background (e.g., socioeconomic status, ethnic background, religious views, sexual orientation) would contribute to the law school’s community. We believe this “optional” essay should not be considered optional at all, and that candidates should view this essay as an opportunity to convey a vibrant, sincere impression of their personality to the admissions reader. Showing rather than telling is of utmost importance in this essay, as demonstrated in the following sample:

“Every good boy deserves fudge.” “All cows eat grass.” They may strike you as nonsensical phrases, but these mnemonic devices added much-needed sense and sensibility to my life when I was young, helping guide my unsure fingers to the proper keys on our family’s centuries-old piano. They served as beacons of focus in my quickly spinning mind, after I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). My mother, convinced that music would be my saving grace, would quietly watch my progress, anxiously wringing her hands.

I approached each new piece of music with an arsenal of markers and highlighters, marking each section with a different color so I could more easily identify the important transitions and changes. Soon the pages of music would be covered in shades of pink, blue, purple, green and yellow. Then, after many hours of work on phrasing, rubato and dynamics, my fingers would finally glide across the piano keys without interruption, as though I were performing in front of thousands of admiring fans at Carnegie Hall. In school my peers would heckle me whenever I struggled to respond to a surprise question from the teacher—so often my mind would wander and I would lose my place in my studies—but at home, I pounded on the piano as confidently as Lang Lang, strutting his stuff as “the J-Lo of the piano.” Playing allowed me to finally exhale, as the beauty and emotion of the music overtook me and I became one with the piano. Following the various colors across the pages as the sections of notes melded into one cohesive melody helped me learn to really focus and gave me invaluable practice in following things through to the end.

As an adult, I feel I have mostly outgrown my ADHD. Sometimes, though, when I can feel myself growing irritable and my concentration starts to wane, I head straight for my piano. As I practice arpeggios and Beethoven’s ten sonatas, a wave of calm and cheerfulness engulfs me, my mind clears and my breathing becomes relaxed and regular again. I know then that I am able to tackle any work I have in front of me. Whenever I need it, I have an arsenal—and a rainbow—of brilliant compositions at hand.


Let’s go through a quick checklist to see what this essay accomplished:

First-person perspective: Indeed, this is a very specific experience that is told in the first person, using “I,” “my” and “me.”

Ownership: This essay is “owned” by the writer—it is not at all generic. The specific details of the story create a personal connection that makes the piece undeniably that of the writer. Although many people in the world have been diagnosed with ADHD, the chances that multiple people have used music in this way to overcome the disorder are very low.

Simplicity: The language is very simple—no five-syllable words are used. The sentence structure is basic and clear.

Earnestness: The writer does not brag to get her point across. She did not directly state, “I beat the odds and came out on top,” nor did she need to. This very point is ultimately made, but the reader’s attention is held primarily by the power of the story.

Show, don’t tell: The writer describes the events as they occurred, thereby conjuring a series of images that leads the reader to the conclusions the writer wants to convey. She does not simply present a progression of facts and then tell the reader how to feel about those facts, but instead lets the story make the desired impression.

One additional concept that is crucial to effective writing is connectivity—the “and then what happened?” factor. In a successful narrative essay, each sentence serves as a crucial link in the story. To test whether this has been achieved, remove a sentence from the essay, read the piece again and see if the story still makes sense. Consider the following excerpt from Sample Essay B, from which we removed a sentence; you will notice that the story is no longer clear:

“Every good boy deserves fudge.” “All cows eat grass.” They served as beacons of focus in my quickly spinning mind, after I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

“What served as beacons and what do those odd phrases mean?” the reader might ask. Clearly, information that is important to the narrative has been left out. Removing even one sentence disrupts and confuses the story being told, which proves that this is a “tight” narrative that truly shows rather than tells


Conflict Is Good

Every effective story must involve a clear conflict. By this, we mean conflict in the literary sense, not in the physical or emotional sense (no one wants to hear about a candidate who hotheadedly instigates repeated confrontations). In literary terms, conflict occurs when an oppositional force helps shape the course of a story. So, a story in which you are the hero and are enjoying a very smooth ride toward victory will not be as interesting or exciting as a story in which you encountered an obstacle or two along the way.

For example, most people would find the story of a rookie runner beating an experienced marathoner at the finish line significantly more compelling than the story of an experienced marathoner beating all his/her fellow runners by a wide margin, never experiencing any real competition. The former scenario involves a conflict in the form of an unexpected upset (the experienced marathoner losing to a rookie), whereas the latter presents a situation with no inherent surprise or suspense. So, as you work to identify the stories you will showcase in your application essays, consider the hurdles you have overcome in your life, because those narratives are the ones that will allow you to shine more brightly.

With this new perspective in mind, we will now revisit the essays we have presented thus far in this guide. In the brief piece about the person with ADHD, the central conflict is introduced within the first few sentences: the writer/heroine alludes to the complications her disorder causes, and she applies a unique approach to overcoming them. In Part I of this guide, we offer an essay about a young man who identified something missing in the lives of a group of teenagers and used his skills as a soccer coach to help the teenagers become more cohesive, connect with their immigrant parents and develop a sense of pride. If he had not taken the initiative to respond to the situation, he would have no story to tell. The writer/hero’s reaction to the situation and the change he subsequently effects—in his players, their parents and himself—are what shape the story and make it interesting.

So, every story should involve a clear conflict—an oppositional force of some kind—to hold the reader’s attention and maintain the narrative’s momentum. In addition, well-written narratives should have the following structural elements:

• Introduction/Exposition: The introduction provides the context for the story, allowing the reader to understand the characters and the setting in which the conflict exists.


• Rising action: During the rising action, the writer introduces obstacles to the resolution of the central conflict that test the story’s hero as he/she strives to reach his/her goal.

• Climax: The climax is a moment of change, a turning point that determines whether the hero will ultimately succeed or fail.

• Falling action: During the falling action, the action winds down and the story approaches its close.

• Conclusion/Dénouement: During the conclusion, the story is brought to a close with the hero’s ambitions either satisfied or unsatisfied. Sometimes the author may also reflect briefly on the outcome.

To illustrate, let us identify these structural elements as they appear in the essay about the youth soccer coach (Sample Essay A):

“Think about what you would want to convey in an interview and what you can contribute to the law school. This may include your background, unique experiences, and the things that interest and motivate you.” (2–3 pages)

“GOOOOOOOL! GOL! GOL! GOL!” Every day for two years, at exactly 4:00 a.m., my father would wake me with this unique alarm, so that I would be on time for my morning soccer drills with America de Cali, a professional soccer team in Colombia with whom I had the privilege of training when I was young. Although my dreams of playing professionally ended after I suffered a serious knee injury, I continued to play for the joy of the game, the companionship and the pride it brought, and I was fortunate to share these benefits with the teenage children of Colombian immigrants I met when I first arrived in the United States.

Growing up, my friends and I imagined the United States as a place where anything and everything fortuitous could happen to us immediately upon arrival. When, at the age of 30, I first visited my aunts and their families in Union City, New Jersey, however, very little in their lives resembled the images from my youthful imagination. Instead of the houses we had conjured in our dreams, their houses were actually just single rooms, each room occupied by a large family, all families sharing cramped amenities. They worked long hours just to pay the bills, and my cousins rarely left their apartments, let alone Union City. I understood struggle, having experienced it firsthand, but I could not accept the despondency and defeat I saw in my aunts and their families. I wanted to give my cousins and their friends, who were also the children of immigrants, a window into a different world, and I did so using—of all things—a mere soccer ball. A quick pick-up game with my cousins turned into weekly lessons with them and a group of their peers. These teenagers would not stop playing until late into the night. At


America de Cali, I had learned how to run clinics that were practical yet fun, and I was able to use these skills to coach my cousins and their friends. Suddenly, I was seeing these young people outdoors, animated, smiling and relishing the sunlight.1

These teenagers were growing up immersed in U.S. culture—they were fans of American football and rooted for the New York Giants, they barely spoke their native Spanish and for them, soccer was but a newborn pastime in the United States. Their parents did not share the teenagers’ appreciation for this “new sport” of American football, and lamented the loss of the connection a shared language would have provided.2 However, as they watched their children learn and enjoy the sport of their youth, the gap between them began to close. My insistence that we all try to speak only Spanish during the practices aided this process. We also “adopted” a soccer team from Pereira, Colombia—my hometown—and followed its games religiously (with zeal and a ton of paisa food) throughout the season. As a result, the kids gained a sense of belonging to something larger than the isolated immigrant community of Union City. Along the way, they also learned about Pereira’s remarkable coffee culture, about Colombia’s great heritage and about their own great cultural inheritance. I now saw pride in their faces—pride in themselves and in their community.3

As the soccer season drew to a close, our weekend games were soon replaced with fiestas each weekend at a different player’s home, and everyone was invited. To the sounds of vallenatos (traditional music of Colombia), we ate arepa de choclo (corn cakes), sopa de sancocho (chicken stew) and, our favorite, chocolate con pan (bread soaked in homemade chocolate). During these parties, the older teenagers, many of whom were ready for their first full-time job, would talk about their aspirations for the future. These conversations sometimes led to informal internships with my friends and acquaintances in New York City that I helped arrange. For example, one of the players went to work for a friend of mine from Brazil who had just started an event planning company in midtown Manhattan. Another came to work for my wife and me in our Indian restaurant in Chelsea so he could learn about restaurant management. These young people’s eyes were opened to the wonderfully vibrant city in their backyard as well as to the innumerable and exciting opportunities it presented.4

These kids’ fervor for soccer led them to embrace their hyphenated identities, to be proud U.S. citizens of Latin American descent. As any soccer player will attest, true magic can be found in the spin of a soccer ball.5

Even in a much a shorter essay, the five major stages of the story are clear:

“Every good boy deserves fudge.” “All cows eat grass.” They may strike you as nonsensical phrases, but these mnemonic devices added much-needed sense and sensibility to my life when I was young, helping guide my

1 Sometimes a single sentence can provide an introduction, through in this case, the conflict is gradually introduced throughout the first two paragraphs.

2 In the rising action, we see the obstacles the protagonist faces.

3 Here the climax occurs—we see the protagonist’s creative approaches and the elements he introduces to create change.

4 In this portion of the story, the action “falls.” The protagonist is no longer being tested but is working unabated toward his goals and seeing the results of his actions.

5 In this conclusion we see the protagonist’s goals realized. In addition, the writer/hero reflects on the experience.


unsure fingers to the proper keys on our family’s centuries-old piano. They served as beacons of focus in my quickly spinning mind, after I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).1 My mother, convinced that music would be my saving grace, would quietly watch my progress, anxiously lacing and unlacing her fingers.

I approached each new piece of music with an arsenal of markers and highlighters, marking each section with a different color so I could more easily identify the important transitions and changes. Soon the pages of music would be covered in shades of pink, blue, purple, green and yellow. Then, after many hours of work on phrasing, rubato and dynamics, my fingers would finally glide across the piano keys without interruption, as though I were performing in front of thousands of admiring fans at Carnegie Hall.2 In school my peers would heckle me whenever I struggled to respond to a surprise question from the teacher—so often my mind would wander and I would lose my place in my studies—but at home, I pounded on the piano as confidently as Lang Lang, strutting his stuff as “the J-Lo of the piano.” Playing allowed me to finally exhale, as the beauty and emotion of the music overtook me and I became one with the piano. Following the various colors across the pages as the sections of notes melded into one cohesive melody helped me learn to really focus and gave me invaluable practice in following things through to the end.3

As an adult, I feel I have mostly outgrown my ADHD. Sometimes, though, when I can feel myself growing irritable and my concentration starts to wane, I head straight for my piano. As I practice arpeggios and Beethoven’s ten sonatas, a wave of calm and cheerfulness engulfs me, my mind clears and my breathing becomes relaxed and regular again. I know then that I am able to tackle any work I have in front of me.4 Whenever I need it, I have an arsenal—and a rainbow—of brilliant compositions at hand.5

A Special Focus on Introductions

Applicants tend to struggle most with their law school essays at the very beginning of the writing process. Even when you have a strong outline in hand, crafting those first few words or phrases can often be challenging. In this section, we focus on composing strong introductions in hopes of helping you more easily overcome this hurdle when you begin drafting your application essays.

A Powerful Opening Line

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

1 Introduction/Exposition: The stage is set and the conflict is clear.

2 Rising action: We witness the protagonist’s ups and downs.

3 Climax: The protagonist is successful!

4 Falling action: Because this essay is short, the falling action here is by necessity quite brief. We learn that the drama is over and the protagonist is pleased with the outcome of her efforts.

5 Conclusion: This short essay likewise requires only a brief conclusion sentence that underlines the writer’s success in achieving her goal.


“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.”

Some who read these lines may recognize them from the novels from which they came: Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina and George Orwell’s 1984, respectively. However, fewer will have actually read these works, and some may be largely unfamiliar with them and their authors—yet they will likely still recognize these opening lines. Our point? A powerful first line can stick with people long after they have finished reading a story, and sometimes even when they have not read the story at all!

Maintaining the Mystery

Although you do not need to write with the flair and drama of an internationally acclaimed author, you do need to carefully consider your essays’ opening statements and ensure that you are capturing your reader’s imagination.

Consider two of the introductory sentences we have offered thus far in this guide:

“GOOOOOOOL! GOL! GOL! GOL!” Every day for two years, at exactly 4:00 a.m., my father would wake me with this unique alarm, so that I would be on time for my morning soccer drills with America de Cali, a professional soccer team in Colombia with whom I had the privilege of training when I was young.

“Good boys deserve fudge always.”

These openers are designed to “tease” and naturally compel the reader to want to continue reading. Many prospective JDs give far too much away in the opening sentences of their application essays and present the solution to their story’s central conflict right away (through a “tell”), which only succeeds in “losing” the reader immediately. (Remember, if you lose the reader, you risk losing your admissions offer, too.)

Consider the following examples of opening lines that present no mystery at all:

By coaching soccer, I showed a group of teenagers a life outside their immediate confines, both literally and figuratively.


As a child, I was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and used playing piano as a means of overcoming the challenges I faced as a result.

Many JD aspirants begin their law school application essays with these types of openers. But where do you go from there? What can the reader really learn about you or the story you want to tell after one of these openings? Very little, unfortunately, and giving away the crux of your narrative in the first sentence makes writing the rest of the essay much more difficult. So, keep in mind that a narrative starts with a “blast” and then slowly unfolds—it should never solve the riddle in the first sentence.

Historical Versus Anecdotal Opening

Many law school candidates choose to take a straightforward, historical approach to their stories in their essays. Nothing is fundamentally wrong with this tactic, and it can be an easy way to organize an essay. However, when a writer takes a historical approach, he/she may miss the opportunity to offer a more focused and gripping introduction, beginning the essay by presenting straightforward chronological facts rather than something more compelling. For example, under certain circumstances, an anecdotal opening can better grab the reader’s interest. Consider the following example of a historical opening:

To the shock of my friends and family, I eschewed an offer to work as a paralegal at a prestigious Wall Street firm after graduating from college and instead, of all things, opened a flower shop in midtown Manhattan. I was on the front lines, struggling to bring in new customers and traveling around the world in search of exotic products. In time, I learned to advertise selectively (on electronic billboards in local office buildings) and developed relationships with suppliers, particularly one in Peru, with whom I obtained an exclusive on a rare cousin of the Heliconia flower.

This introduction is very direct and informative and entirely acceptable. However, the writer might be more successful in capturing the reader’s attention if he/she were to use an anecdotal opening instead, as shown in the following example:

A crowd five deep assembled on the street to stare at the bright yellow Peruvian Heliconia in the window of my flower shop, the end result of three trips to the small South American country and two months of negotiations with the U.S. Department of Customs and Border Protection. Beaming, I opened my doors and said, “Come in”—and did they ever! Twenty customers immediately packed my store, and throughout the day, more and more continued to arrive, thanks to word of mouth. That day, the offer I had declined from Morgan Stanley nine months earlier completely vanished from my mind, and the flower shop has been my sole focus ever since.


In the anecdotal version, much of the same basic information is conveyed, but the visual appeal is much stronger—the author paints a more colorful and complete picture. Again, one style of opening is not necessarily right and the other is not wrong. What matters is that you are comfortable with whichever one you choose. So take time to consider which one is a better fit with the narrative you intend to present. Depending on your story, an anecdotal opening may more easily allow you to capture your reader’s imagination. (In truth, however, this all comes down to execution—a strong writer could effectively execute either approach.)

Non-Introduction Introduction

Because candidates often feel they must follow the hourglass model of essay writing they first learned in high school, many end up crafting long and often uninteresting introductions that do not convey anything important (and use up valuable word count/page space). In the case of law school admissions essays, the writer is typically better served by simply launching into the action of his/her story and expecting that the reader will remain interested throughout the remainder of the narrative.

Once again, consider these two sample introductions:

“GOOOOOOOL! GOL! GOL! GOL!” Every day for two years, at exactly 4:00 a.m., my father would wake me with this unique alarm, so that I would be on time for my morning soccer drills with America de Cali, a professional soccer team in Colombia with whom I had the privilege of training when I was young.

“Good boys deserve fudge always.”

Neither of these examples includes a long “windup” to set the stage for the coming action. Instead, the writer launches directly into the story he/she wants to tell. This approach both engages the reader in the story right away and minimizes word use, so more space is available to include more important details of the candidate’s narrative.

A Special Focus on Word Count and Maximum Page Count

In general, sticking as closely to requested word and page limits as possible is a good idea. Doing so indicates to the admissions committee not only that you pay attention to and can follow directions (which reflects positively on you as a potential student who will be required to follow numerous guidelines throughout the course of the JD program) but also that you are willing to put in the work required to convey your story effectively within the stated parameters. Also, you show respect for the school as well as for the admissions


committee members, who must sort through thousands of essays each week. Some schools specify a maximum page count instead of a word count. In such cases, pay close attention to requested font size, margin size and spacing, and contact the school’s admissions office for clarification if necessary.

Putting It All Together

To help illustrate how the entire essay writing process comes together, in this section, we apply the lessons and guidelines from both parts of this guide and create an essay from scratch. We will work with the following essay question: Columbia Law School Essay 1/Personal Statement: “What are your reasons for applying to law school as they may relate to personal goals and professional expectations?” (2 pages)

In this case, the experience to be discussed will be a story about the creation of a national educational organization. Our first step, then, is to contemplate the story’s central conflict and create a super summary for the essay.

Conflict: “While serving as a Congressional intern, I was shocked at the lack of awareness about what being Indian American in America means.”

Super Summary: “Relying on my ability to think creatively, I created a political education organization to encourage Indian Americans to become part of the country’s social and political fabric.”

Paragraphs 1–6: Introduction to the writer’s relationship with her grandfather and her heritage (Introduction)Paragraphs 7–8: Decision to join Congress as a liaison to the Indian-American community (Rising action)Paragraph 9: Disillusionment with Congress (Rising action)Paragraphs 10–12: Successful creation of the National Association of Indian Americans and identification of

a new calling (Climax)Paragraph 13: Lessons learned (“Takeaways”) (Falling action/Conclusion)

With these major themes identified, we can now add the details that will bring each section—and the narrative as a whole—to life.

Paragraphs 1–6: Introduction to the writer’s relationship with her grandfather and her heritage (Introduction)• Description of the grandfather’s tremendous legacy• Description of her loss of moral compass at his death


Paragraphs 7–8: Decision to join Congress as a liaison to the Indian-American community (Rising action)• Joining Congress as a liaison• Congress as a most unwelcome shock• Surprise at lack of awareness of what being Indian American in America means

Paragraph 9: Disillusionment with Congress (Rising action)• No blame game• Creation of National Association of Indian Americans

Paragraphs 10–12: Successful creation of the National Association of Indian Americans and identification of a new calling (Climax)• Saw organization succeed• Identified a new professional calling

Paragraph 13: Lessons learned (“Takeaways”) (Falling action/Conclusion)• Learned that she could and would pave her own way• Saw self as creative, determined, passionate

The final step in conceptualizing the essay is setting the tone with an interesting opening line. For this essay, we will use a “maintaining the mystery” opening to create a visual and not immediately reveal too much.

Sample Essay C

Columbia Law School Essay 1/Personal Statement: “What are your reasons for applying to law school as they may relate to personal goals and professional expectations?” (2 pages)

Before anything, I am B.K. Lingagowder’s granddaughter. This means nothing to anybody outside my family, but it means everything to me. Second, I am a Badaga, part of a disappearing indigenous tribe from India. Third, I am an American, having been born in Brooklyn. Fourth, I am a mutt, having lived in India until I was six and then spending three months of every year there with my grandfather until I was 21. Did I mention that I am B.K. Lingagowder’s granddaughter?

He was my moral compass, though at the time, I never realized it. A village elder for our tribe, he led by example. People sought him out to discuss familial disputes or other tribal controversies. As a member of the Legislative Assembly of India, he strove to raise awareness of the plight of the Badagas, discriminated against as a backward


or scheduled caste. He wore exclusively homespun fabric, showing his pride at being a member of the National Party in the fight for independence from the British Raj, and welcoming dignitaries such as Jawaharlal Nehru and Indira Gandhi to our ancestral home.

Talk about standing on the shoulders of giants.

My grandfather raised me—my parents left me in his care to pursue their medical residencies in America—and considered me his child. Our talks as we walked through his tea plantations were often about how my duty would be to always uphold the Lingagowder name and serve my family, my community and my country. Not an easy burden for a little girl. Not an easy burden, period.

Even when I was not trying to better my karma, my grandfather was doing it for me. Once I sent him some money I had saved to give to my favorite temple in India in hopes that the gods would smile on me and grant me easy passage in life. The day my letter arrived, he was visiting a village with no running water. Quickly pulling my money from the envelope, he gave it to an elder in the village so a pipeline could be built to supply the villagers with this precious resource. I never knew this story until my aunt one day recounted it, remarking that my good fortune in life may have stemmed from the well wishes of those grateful villagers.

When my grandfather died, I was lost.

I had just graduated from Princeton’s Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs. I was debating my next steps and thought my calling might be in government, as my grandfather’s had been. Soon after, I won a scholarship to work for a congressman in Washington, DC, as a liaison between his office and the Indian-American community.

At the time, I had only just become comfortable with my hybrid identity as an Indian American. For many years, I had felt like a stranger in both America and India, not feeling that I truly belonged anywhere. At Princeton, surrounded by intelligent and worldly classmates, I had finally learned about and embraced my unique cultural role.

Congress was a most unwelcome shock. I had never met so many people who knew so little about someone like me. Very few could even find India on the map. Being Indian American was easily confused with being Native American. Christopher Columbus himself might as well have been sitting in the assembly. Moreover, all Congress’s policy initiatives concerning Indian Americans seemed to just toe the line of the State Department. No one appeared concerned about what being an Indian American in America really means.


Nevertheless, playing the blame game is not in my nature, so I did not condemn the politicians around me for their oversights and seeming lack of concern. I believe that as a community, Indian Americans have an obligation to educate themselves about U.S. legal and political processes and to become part of the country’s social and political fabric. So, I created a political education organization—the National Association of Indian Americans—calling on all first- and second-generation Indian Americans to invest in their future and in that of their children.

That I felt a desire to learn more about the legal system is only natural, I suppose, and I started to think seriously about going to law school. I knew that I no longer wanted to be any sort of political representative or diplomat—I could not stomach it. Instead, I wanted to study the Indian-American experience from a legal perspective, looking particularly at the group’s exclusion from legal and political participation. Patricia J. Williams’s book The Alchemy of Race and Rights: Diary of a Law Professor introduced me to critical race theory. I was truly inspired.

I had the privilege of sitting in on one of Williams’s classes at Columbia University, and it was the most unique classroom experience I have ever had. Students were heatedly debating the merits of examining everyday interactions and finding the racial component in them as a means of moving the racial equality cause forward. Although I was surprised at how some students had such a visceral reaction to the day’s topic that they stormed out of the room, I was not put off. In fact, I was inspired to sign up for more.

I ultimately see myself working at a legal defense fund, helping promote Americans’ civil rights through litigation, advocacy, education and organizing. With a law degree, I could provide assistance to the poor and to civil rights and voting rights activists, and bring lawsuits against violators of civil rights. I feel that in many ways, this road was paved for me, yet in other ways, I have paved it for and by myself. Maybe someday my grandfather, wherever he is, will turn to someone and say, “Did I mention that I am her grandfather?” That would put a smile on my face.

[email protected]: jdMission

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