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ResiliencyDA Civilian

Resiliency Training Part IV

(Challenges, Assertiveness & Being Constructive)

Mission and Vision

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Mission: Develop a strong, resilient workforce (Soldier and Civilians) through resiliency training.

End state: Sustain a resilient workforce that stands shoulder to shoulder, able overcome challenges and bounce back from adversity

Task: Identify strengths in yourself and others to improve teamwork and overcome challenges.

Conditions: Within a classroom environment.

Standards: Understand that Strengths of Character is a primary target of Use Strengths in Challenges

Task, Conditions, Standards

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Use Strengths in Challenges

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Key Principles

Useful in teams: Leverage the strengths of team members so that you make sure people are working together as effectively as possible.

Strengths of Character: Using Strengths in Challenges builds all of the MRT competencies; Strengths of Character is a primary target.

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Bottom Line Up Front

Using Strengths in Challenges helps to build Strengths of Character.

You can use your top strengths and the strengths of others to overcome challenges.

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Applications

As a Civilian, how can using your strengths in challenges make your organization more effective?

How can using your strengths in challenges be used within families?

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Case Study

Video

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What strengths did you hear in the case study?

What Character Strengths did the team have?

What were the specific actions that were generated by the Character Strengths?

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Use Strengths in Challenges

Flesh out the group dilemma with more detail.

Identify the group’s goals in addressing the challenge.

Discuss how the group’s strengths can be used together to deal with the challenge.

Identify the specific actions your group would take based on your strength profiles and the sequence in which you would take those actions (e.g., which action would you do first, second, etc.).

If someone already uses a strength you also have, choose another one of your strengths or discuss a different action that you would take from the same strength.

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Debrief

What did you learn from this activity?

How did you use your strengths to deal with the challenge?

What specific actions did your strength lead to?

How did other people approach the situation differently based on their strengths?

In what ways did the team benefit by having a variety of strengths and working together to overcome the challenge?

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Check on Learning

What is the skill? Use Strengths in Challenges to build positive emotions, enhance performance, and build stronger teams.

When do I use it? Use Strengths in Challenges to create effective teams, deepen engagement, and overcome challenges.

How do I use it? Identify ways you already use your Character Strengths and new ways to use them in your daily life and when confronted with a problem.

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Resiliency

Questions

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Resiliency

Assertiveness Communication

Task: Learn to communicate clearly and with respect. Use the IDEAL model to communicate in a Confident, Clear, and Controlled manner.

Conditions: Within a classroom environment.

Standards: Understand that Connection is a primary target of Assertive Communication

Task, Conditions, Standards

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Assertive Communication

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Communication Skill Set

Assertive Communication: Communicate clearly and with respect.

Active Constructive Responding: Respond to others to build strong relationships.

Praise: Praise to build mastery and winning streaks.

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Key Principles

Takes practice: Assertive Communication takes practice.Flexibility: Match your style of communication to the

situation/person you are communicating with.Skill, not personality: Communication styles are skills, not

personality styles.Retreat, refuel, return: Take a break from the conversation.

Relax/rethink and then try again.Connection: Assertive Communication

builds all of the MRT competencies; Connection is a primary target.

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Bottom Line Up Front

Assertive Communication helps to build Connection.

Assertive Communication helps you solve problems by remaining Confident, Clear, and Controlled.

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Assertive Communication:Applications

When is Assertive Communication appropriate or not appropriate in the Army?

What gets in the way of Assertive Communication?

How will your relationships benefit through the use of Assertive Communication?

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Communication Styles

Complete the chart on the Communication Styles worksheet.

What are the descriptors of each style?

What are Icebergs that contribute to each style?

What are the messages that each style sends to the other person?

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Debrief

What did you learn?

What are the descriptors of each style?

What are Icebergs that contribute to each style?

What are the messages that each style sends to the other person?

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Aggressive Communication

Must have the last word

Talking over the other person

Out of control emotion

Blaming

Talking down

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Icebergs beneath Aggressive Communication

The best defense is a strong offense.

You’ve got to be loud and strong if you want to win.

Never back down from a fight.

Any sign of weakness and you’ll be taken advantage of.I want it and deserve it now!

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Passive Communication

QuietNo eye contactWithdrawnSulkingSubmissiveFearfulAppeasing

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Icebergs beneath Passive Communication

It’s wrong to complain.

I don’t really care. It doesn’t matter.

I’ll make enemies if I speak my mind.

No one ever really changes anyway.

It’s more important that people like me, than to be right.

I don’t like conflict.

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Assertive Communication (3 Cs)

Confident, Clear, ControlledSeek to understandImportant in dealing with family and colleagues (communication

that works in combat or, with your Platoon doesn't work at home)

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3 Cs: Confident, Clear, and Controlled

Confident: You believe in your ability to handle the situation and are composed.

Clear: The message is easy to understand and is not exaggerated.

Controlled: You are “tracking” the other person and modulate yourself if necessary.

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Icebergs that Hinder the 3 Cs

I’m not that strong.

I’m not a good Soldier.

I don’t measure up.

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Icebergs that Promote the 3 Cs

We can work this out.

I trust you and respect you.

I can express myself clearly and confidently.

What I believe matters.

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The IDEAL Model

I = Identify and understand the problem.

D = Describe the problem objectively and accurately.

E = Express your concerns and how you feel (when appropriate).

A = Ask the other person for his/her perspective and then ask for a reasonable change.

L = List the outcomes.

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Tips for IDEAL

I = Identify and understand the problemATC and check for Thinking TrapsDetect Icebergs (if necessary)Put It In Perspective (if necessary)

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Tips for IDEAL

Once you’ve identified the problem, then you can move to communication.

D = Describe the problem objectively and accuratelyWho, what, when, whereSpecific, recentMinimize exaggeration

E = Express your concerns and how you feel (when appropriate)“I” rather than “you”Minimize exaggeration

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Tips for IDEAL

A = Ask the other person for his/her perspective…What and How questions, not Why questions Repeat back what you heard to check that you’re hearing

him/her accurately

…and then ask for a reasonable change“Good Faith” test (reasonable, doable)Work towards a win-win

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Tips for IDEAL

L = List the outcomesPositive rather than negativeConsider appropriateness

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Assertive Communication:Applications

When is Assertive Communication appropriate or not appropriate in the Army?

What gets in the way of Assertive Communication?

How will your relationships benefit through the use of Assertive Communication?

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Check on Learning

What is the skill? Assertive Communication is a method of communication that is Confident, Clear, and Controlled.

When do I use it? Use Assertive Communication when confronting someone about a conflict or challenge (and is the most appropriate style in that situation).

How do I use it? Use the IDEAL model: I = Identify and understand the problem, D = Describe the problem objectively and accurately, E = Express your concerns and how you feel (when appropriate), A = Ask the other person for his/her perspective and ask for a reasonable change, L = List the outcomes.

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Resiliency

Questions

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Resiliency

Active Constructive Responding and Praise

Task: Learn to respond to others to build strong relationships and Praise to build mastery and winning streaks

Conditions: Within a classroom environment.

Standards: Understand that Connection is a primary target of ACR and Praise

Task, Conditions, Standards

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Active Constructive Responding and Effective Praise

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Key Principles

Four types of responding: There are four ways people tend to respond when others share a positive experience: AC, AD, PC, PD.

ACR: ACR conveys authentic interest, and the responder helps the sharer think more deeply about the positive experience.

Benefits of ACR: ACR leads to stronger relationships, belonging, well-being, and life satisfaction for both parties.

Effective Praise: Name the strategy, process, or behavior that led to the good outcome. It builds motivation, optimism, and winning streaks.

Connection: ACR and Praise build all of the MRT competencies; Connection is a primary target.

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Bottom Line Up Front

Active Constructive Responding (ACR) and Effective Praise help to build Connection.

You can strengthen your relationships by responding actively and constructively to others’ positive experiences.

Effective Praise identifies what was working and creates winning streaks.

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Build Strong Relationships through ACRBased on work by Shelly Gable

There are four ways people tend to respond when others share good news, talk about a positive experience, or describe a success.

Only one of the four styles leads to stronger relationships.

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What do we mean by positive experience?

My RDO is now every other Friday.

I received an excellent evaluation/appraisal.

I passed AMC’s inspection.

I received a promotion.

It wasn’t so hot out.

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But… how the other person responds matters.

Constructive Destructive

Authentic interest, elaborates the

experience; person feels validated and

understood

Squashing the event, brings conversation to

a halt; person feels ashamed,

embarrassed, guilty, or angry

Quiet, understated support; conversation

fizzles out; person feels unimportant,

misunderstood, embarrassed, or guilty

Ignoring the event; conversation never starts; person feels confused, guilty, or

disappointedPass

ive

Activ

e

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Private Jackson says to Private Carson:

“Hey, my wife called and told me she got a great job on post.”

Constructive Destructive

That’s great. What’s the new job? When does it start? What did she say about it?

So who’s going to be looking after your son? I wouldn’t trust a babysitter.

That’s nice.I got such a funny e-mail from my son. Listen to this...

Pass

ive

Activ

e

Private Carson responds:

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Your face is worth a thousand words…

Constructive Destructive

Pass

ive

Activ

e

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Make Your Praise Praiseworthy:A Special Case of Active Constructive Responding

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Effective Criticism

When someone we care about fails, underperforms, or struggles, we don’t say, “Man, you are dumb as a rock.”

Effective criticism names the process, strategy, behavior that led to the problem (e.g., “You aren’t keeping your arm level.”) and how to correct it.

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Effective PraiseBased on work by Carol Dweck

When you recognize someone and offer praise, name the specific strategy, effort, or skill that led to the good outcome. It just takes another sentence.

Naming strategy does three things:Demonstrates you were really watchingDemonstrates authenticityEnables winning streaks

This is AAR at the individual level.

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Applications

What are the ways you give and receive praise in the Army (one-on-one; public acknowledgments, symbolic rewards, etc.)?

How are ACR and Effective Praise already used in the Army?

How can you further incorporate ACR and Effective Praise in the way you cultivate teams, offer recognition, or communicate about successes (with Army and family)?

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What is the skill? Active Constructive Responding (ACR) is a method of communication in which the responder conveys authentic interest and helps the person to relive the positive experience. Effective Praise focuses on the strategy, behavior, or process that brought the good outcome.

When do I use it? Use ACR when someone shares a positive experience with you and Praise when you want to build motivation and performance.

How do I use it? Respond to positive experiences by conveying interest and by asking questions. When giving Praise, name the behavior, strategy, or process.

Check on Learning

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Resiliency

Questions

AAR

What went well1.2. 3.What can be improved1.2.3.

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