.Come to The Mattlet

”Bugs Bunny Hop” Thursday, April IS

$1.00 a cou6Ie ’

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BUY THE ’ T O W E R

$1 ..25 Af te r \

April 1

Yictoria College, Victoria, B.C., March 81 I 19SO. ,

Minister of >“Education Promises ‘New Units ( 8 I

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Announcement that a new Col- +The new building will probably lege building would #be built came be erected oh recently-purchased,

have had to endure cramped quarters. Mr. Straith also mentioned the

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as WelCOnle neWS’t0 students who property east of the buildillg.

Mon. W. T. Straith, Minister of Educationl+lannounced that the new unit would contain adminis- tration offices,,a library and read-; ing ,room. The Normal Schdol building will be used entirely for claq-room use.

/ , possibility of .constructing a gymnasium, which would be used by both ;he College and the Normal School. The construction of , thh gymnasium would leave room .for seven new claw’i-ooms in the present gymnasium.

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! i . By Dick Baker

’ I One of the major issues facing the students during the past few weeks is7 the drinking situation at College dances. I asked a number of students for sensible and mature answers to the ques- tion: “What do you think of drinking , at College dances?” Here are ‘a few of the answers I received.

Peter Paterson: “Drinking should not )be necessary for a good time, since it. is against the law.”

Tom Rhdes:. “It’s against ihe law, *but it’s the ctlstom. Dr, Ewing was ,quite right in bring- ing‘it to the‘ attention of the $tu- dents; but he may have been too firm.” .

Anne ]FIendersot,l: “I think drinking-in moderation at lCollege dances should be allowed. But it s6ems that students aren’t inteilj-

gent enough to do so.”, Doma Camichael: “‘The fault

lies not wi$h the Ficulty of Vic- , ,

toria;,College, but with the Liquor Act.

Jim Harvey: “If a person goes to college he should have enough personality t o , get along. with Geople without, resorting to alco- hol.”

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,[ . Fighting Vikiogs,Down J.B.A.A. Team ‘Wln Cily Championship, Bernard (up

THIS IS THE END? I

This is ’the last issue of tlic Year.

)?'allowing publication of’ thi: issue, bleary-eyed, cagein-addict, ed editors 4will leave sin and de, bauc,hery of Rookery, and sctirrJ to Library. The Library is iargc room cantaining books, and i: rumored t,o be in the basemen of the main building! Here, edi tors will conscientiously furrov brows, open musty volumes, an( brush cob,webs off semi-legiblc wanderings, known as notes. I t i: hoped that there will be no un fortunate incidents, as there wa: ill the year 1943 when the New: E,ditor was driven crazy by thc silence.

As there wili ,be’no m’ore ne,w: coverage, don’t miss :

Soph.on;lore Dance-held a i te: exams.

Martlet Dance-held beforc exams.

Exams-held betweek Martle Dance and Sophomore’ Dance,;

Natalie Bergstraesser: ’ “The Liquor Law i s stupid, but it has to be obeyed?’

Dick Vogel: “I don’t think the situation warrant3 the fuss mqde over if.”

”I alsq asked, several .members of the faculty for ariswers to the same’. question. Here are two , points of view.

Mqg, doble: “A College dance is ju9t not the time or place.”

M. Treil: “Do you want me . .

thrown out of College?” -

* . * * I ’ nadel ’a bee-line for the try-line.

College fullback, Art Bridge, piosed fast and caught the break- away inches from the end-zone.

Vikings recovered, and min- utes later Bob Shipley, tucking a’ pass frbm brother John, ter- minated a smooth-passing for- ward movement by going, the remaining 25 yards to score standing up. , ’

The dwindling seconds of the game saw another wave of Vik- ings wash over the Bay’s defence, this time, John Campbell saw the light and burned a sizzling trail for 30 yards,, planting the leatlier atwiftt the perpendiculars. The final whistle, sa* the score 19-0; and the Vikings in possession oi the Bernard Cup.

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College Open House ‘ I Attracts Many chemistry quiz had so many out- ‘ siders present that he decided to hold the lab right away instead of confusing them with the quiz. Several girls w.ere quite disap- pointed in not being able to find the Greek A dass. Another popu- lar attractioq was the zoology lab, whkre the second year stu- dents were dissecting cats.

A 1 t h o u g h some professors were ‘shy about being watched by the visitors, the idea of throw- ing open the classrooms is an * excellent one and should be con- tinued in future years.

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The College held Open House on,, the afternoon of Friday, March 17 and on the morning of Saturday, March 18.

For the first time this year, grade .12 high school students were allowed to see classes and labs In action. Altogether 170 high schoolers checked in .at the Registrar’s Office, in spite of rainy weather.

Mr. Elliott organized shifts of guides, wearing identifying rib- bons, to show the visitors around.

On Friday, Mr. Savannah’s

Activity Pins and Athletic Awards Preqented at Awards Banquet

The Awards Banquet and .Dance was successfully staged’at thc Crystal Garden-on the evening of March 20.

‘ I The roast turkey dinner wad followed by a .toast to the King, speeches and preseptation of awards by faculty’ members.

Retiring President Neil Neu- feld opetied % the after-dinner speeches with introductory dom- ments. Mr. J. B. Clearihue de- livered .his greeti,ngs from the College Council. His address was followed by presentation‘ of awards by the faculty. a r . R. ,T, Wallace presented the men’s athletic award.s; Mis. .O. P. Noble the women’s athletic awards; Mr. E. G. Jones the Activity Pins; and Dr. Ewing the Council awards. 1

, The banquet was concluded with a speecb from President- Elect: Ken MacKay. :

After the banquet, dancing wis held in the upper ballroom of the Crystal. Len Acres and his orchestra supplied music until one, .

Armngenients were carried out by woman members of the Coun- cil. Names of award winners are posted in the main hall.

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. . 1 ’,, 8 (Photo Courtesy The Times) ‘ I

Shown above’ are+ rugby players admiring coveted Barnard’ Cup ,at Annual Awards Banquet and Dance. From 1,eft to right are Geoff d‘Easumi Art Bridge, ,Gerry Main and Dick Baker.

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Editor-inAChief __________ 1 ____________________r i _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ John Napier-Hgmy News Editor _____________________________ 1 _______.__________________________ Di+ck"Baker Business Managers ._..-.---... Dpreen Collie'and Tania Hurmuses Clubs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . __________________. ___________: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Ray Wehner Sports Editor _L_________ L ___________ ___________: ___________________r Denny Boyd Photography ____ _______ I ______ :Co,nnia Wood and 'Russel Robertson ,

' Cartoons ________._______________________________-------------------- David Sutherland Reporters _--...---.------ Carol Potter, Pat Thomas, Pat Carstens,

.David Moilliet, Donn . Carmichael, Torn Ball.ard, Bob Hutchison, John Fobte, John Goult, Peter Smith, Bruce Young, Peter Paterson.' . ,

Advertising ____________________.-.----- John Moffat, Dudley Cobdington I

THE ACME PRESS LTD.

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As this is our last issue, we feel entitled to indulge i a little 'reflection on the Martlet's journalistic achievements thi .year. I

Inspired by our own creative and organizing effort: and kept in line by our readers, we have produced a pape

'which, we hope, has been both entertaining and useful to th students.

Our most obvious accomplishment was' the number o papms this year, a total of seven, two of th,ese being six pagers. Measured against last year's output, this is equivalen

was accomplished by a sounder business policy, which mor than compensated, for the increase in printing pxts. ., ' ,

arrangement of the material has cqmpared afavorably with an, newspaper on this continent, There have .bedn .relatively fe\ typographi6al errors, although we. have made the occasiona

t: tc an increase of two whole papers. This remarkable *gail

1 In the 1 :ma,h+p departrdnt,, :,ghe,'-gdt&l, ut, ,) o

j blunder in headlines and in our photographs.

For the first time, the Martiet is giving notes ,on ex-students who have made"good in various ffelds of endeavour. This list is by no means complete, but it will serve to indicate the success at- tained by old' Vic College stu- dents in various endeavours.,

Vis: Hay has been appointed editor-in-chief of , the D ,a i 1 y Ubyssey for the 1950-51 session. Vic, a veteran of 'World War 11, was a member of the Students'

. Council in 1947-48, Those who know Vic will reme.mber him for his friendly manner and his gen- ius for .htirnour,

During the past year, Vic .has been Features Editor of the Ubyssey. His weekly ' humor column "While the Sun Shines" has established his reputation as one of .the best writers on the U.B.C. campus. ,

Pietre Berton is now an assist- ' ant editor of MacLeans.

Editor-in-chief of . th/ 1935 Microscope, predecessok to the Maartlet, Pierre has achieved a high degree of prominence in the field of journalism.

Mary Richardson, who waq Women's Sports representative

a t Victoria ,College in 1948, 'an1 nowAs 'in 3rd year Physical Edu cation at McGill, has just bee. elected Preqident of McGill Wo men's Students Athletic Associa tion. This associatio,n conttols a: the athletic and recreational ac tivitks of Mc-Gill's 2,000 womer

Mary is, graduate of SI Nargaret's .School, Victdria. Las year she obtained her internation a1 referee's rating and becam Canada's youngest basketba: official.

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SMART CLOTHES for MEN and YOUNG MENk

1828 Doughs Street

Let's .Give' Our Athletes a ,Break

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Poge Two THE MARTLGT I ' , . March 31; 1950.

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Ex=Students Make Good

By Bob Hutchison One 'Saturday last February, a

b i g blond miler pounded past Len Eyres of England and, through a downpour of rain, splashed his way to the tape, knocking 6/10 of a second off the existing British Empire Games' miles record. Big Bill' Parnell had just run the greatest race of his career, probably the great- est race run by a Canadian since Percy Williams won both sprints at the 1928 Olympics. His feat was a 4:l.l mile, which, done on cinders , favorable weather conditions, would have come to something like 4:08, better than anything presently being done on this continent.

This had been Canada's only track win in a week of competi- lion at the Empire Sports Meet in New Zealand. Performances like Bill's were literally non- existent among Canadians. Can-

ada had reached only four track finals and paced in only three of these, although Jack Hutchins and Parnell finished second and third in the half.

I t is true that two possible finalists, the McFarlane brothers, turned down the long trip to Zealand because of pressure from their studies, at Western Univer- sity. True also that Ez Henniger, until he pulled a leg muscle in training, looked like, another point-getter in the quarter. Even with, these excuses, Carlada was outrun at almost every distance, Her field men looked just as bad, and, except for Victoria's own Pete Salmon, her swimmers were washed under.

What is wrong yjth ,Canadian athletes? They eat and live as well as any other athletes in the '3inpir.e. Why is it that our men were so outclassed by England and 'the countries "down under"?

By Bruce Young A little less liois,e from Mr:

McGugan and his fellow dialec- ticians would be appreciated by the people who are fighting for democracy in the face of Russian opposition. The L.L.P., of which Mr. McGugan is a member, IS an organiqation whose intention it is to disrupt our economy and pave the way for a communistic rdgime in' North America.

The attacks made by Mr. Mc- Gugan on his 11ativ.e land, Canada and the United Sates, can only be considered in poor taste and merely serve as illustrations o f his fanaticism and ignorance of the truth. The writer sdspects th.at Mr. McGugan has behn thoroughly indoctrinated by a party whose H.Q. is to be found at the Kremlin, U.S.S.R. Mr. McGugan is not a free man bul a hireling and one,! of the many innocents who have been induced to voice the opiniqns of the' Rus- sian dictator, ''.

Mr. McGugan sees fit to s u g gest methpds whereby the prob- lem of Canadian over-production in agriculture can be splved. Our present Liberal democratic gov. ernment would .appreciate any bona fide suggestions as to horn this might be done. Mr. Mc- Gugan's advice , is', however strictly along the Party line and since this party has only thf interests of communism and

Martlet Salutes Mr. Bishop for his super,b dir.

kction of "School for Scandal.' Barbara, Flaten for ekectively

wganizing the various depart- ments of the Player's Club into an efficient whole.

Ray$ Wehner for elevating the Music Appreciation Society to the point where, it has become one of the'most edifying campus clubs.

Ken ,Burkinshaw for tirelessly promoting the cause of Chris- tianity among the students.

Mr. Howatson for his able coaching of the Second Division Rugby Team. Mr. McOrmond. for promoting

the Radio Club, and assisting the Tower staff.

Gerry Mdn and the First Divi- sion Rugby Team for winning the City Inter A championship.

Mr. Wallace for his friendly and useful advice to, students in distress.

Fred Anderson for . his , cow scientiousness in managing Tow- er finance$.

Marion Gibbs for undertalqjqg the huge task of editing the Toy."- er., ' Jon Wvods and Mr. Jones for reorganizing t- h e Psychology Club.

Brian Wharf for keeping the Colonist informed of College activities.

Johnny Symonds for'his work as the ."Voice of Victpria (301- lege." . .

Denny Boyd for his part it: making the Jazz Club and Mart let successful.

Russia .at heart his words can not be taken too seriously.

The writer of the axticle, in question alsp 'mentions that American "Imperialists" are ex* ploiting the peoples of India and other nations. Whether or ,not this is true, he neglects to point out that the Russians, have over 20. million people enslaved m Siberia, where they *are receiving "corrective treatment." Nor , do we find people in ou r . western democracies being starved to death delilberately as Stalin did on one occasion. (8 millioh peas- ants in Russia died because they were "interfering with the dialec- tical process.") Some Weakneebee

While it is probable that our democratic system has some weaknesses through lack of ex- perience, it is certain that Mr. Truman, br any other politician west, of the Curtain, would not find it possible to act in a manner similar to th.at of Stalin. Apart front, the fact that our politicians have,the interests of their people at heaft it would be impossilble for this type of thing to happen under our system. The ''fotir freedoms" accorded to EVERY citizen in a democratic country would soon end any such project, On the other hand, the Russian people are completely a t the mercy of a despotic dictator.

'This denial of rights in Russia is by no means confined to the borders of that nation. Thanks to the fanatical-en'ergy of minor. ity groups in many Eastern Earopean countries they too have been brought under the control of a man who has no respect for human life,. In Cana- da the L.P.P. is strivi g to at- tain the s"ame end. 7 Appeal to Students ,

Instead of appealing to the students of this college to support a communist sponsored organization, as Mr. Mc zouth ugan has done, it would be more fitting the appeal to the students to fight to pfieserve the democratic rights that our forefathers have given their lives and energies to obtain for us. I t is our *,duty as future citizens of the world to carry on the work and to rid the world of communism in ,order that it might become a better place in which to live.

Note-This is not a personal attack on Mr. I McGugan. I t is an attack on the doctrine in which he believes.

The chief reason is lack ,df preparation. W e expect our ath- letes to go out every four years and bwome heroes. Then w,e forget about then1 until the next Games roll around. T o run on equpl terms with other countries of the world, they must have constant competition and sup- port. Until this is obtained, Can- ada will continue to put up a rnediocle show a t every intp-2 national gathering. Great& em- phasis must be put on Collegiate competition. More International Meetp

Also, more international meets tnust be staged with U.S. univer- sities. As it: is now,',virtually all our good track -men are being lured to the United States by athletic scholarships and the promise of better competition and more recognition. E,very finalist at New Zealand, except fQr the women competitors, is attending of has attended an American uni- versity, in return for tuition fees. It's time .for Canada to realize that unless she pries loose with the buck and houses track and fieid athletes on her own cam- puses, she will Itever be on a par with. other countries in interna- tional competition.

I t seems a shame that top notch athletes should go down to the States to compete for what is actually a very 'small grant. Track and field is one sport in w h i c h Canadian universities should be able to 'reach a par with the Americans.- B.C. alone has enough top ranking track men attending U.S. colleges to enter a team that could stand competi- tion from any of the Pacific Coast Conference teams. If these men were given by Canadian univer-* sities the same help and competi- tion they receive in the States, their national loyalty would keep them and their records at home. The injtial output for a coach and grant-in-aids would be made up in a period of years, if the pro- motion were ' properly ,handled and people were. stimulated into becoming rabid fans. More Competition Needed

Of course, Confer'ence rules would keep ,Canadian universities out of good, American competi- tion, but some arrangement could no doubt be worked out. If. Cana- dian univehities could' provide good enough competition, they could probably arrange for some dual meets with colleges below. the' border, In time they might be allowed into top-ranking con- ferences.

However, even if we can't overhaul our Collegiate system, we can start encouraging our high ,school athletes. Today's high school stars will comprise 3ur '52 Olympic and '54 Empire Games teams.

Canada must put in more tr.acks, obtain better coaches, and give more support to her. athletes, if she wishes to get back her lust reputation as a leading country in international com'petition, I t is to {be ,hoped that she will. ,

Davies &, Hibbs I

852 FORT ST,

Shoe Rebuilding * Expert Skate Sharpening

Medals, Diplomas, .Honours from Seventy-six International Exhibitions in 24 Countries

Telephone E-4718

qeufeld, I , Powerlmad Purity Squad

ZooZogy Lab.

more frequently. 5. Ash trays will be emptied

When asked for a story by coop-hungry downtown dailies, ‘ ~

:x-Editor john Napier-Hemy ’

,tated: “There’s a time ind a ,lace for everything. W E thougllt we had found the place.

‘as exposed-- by photo-electric seeing eye” installed by Neil Jeufeld’s Purity Squad. Neufeld, now notorious for h;s

rbitrary “anti-booze” edi:t, 1s ead of ’ the viceikilling Lily- Vhite Ten.” Motto: “Vice isn) lice.” On seeing pictures bf seduc-

on, beer-drinking and card- lajing, Neufeld blushed and aid, “Mother ’never told me\” Strong man of the Purity

qubd, I Daniel “Light in %he )arkness” Levy clamped a six lonth ban 011’the Martlet stating, There has been too much going 11.”

Sneak expos6 by power-crazed ’urity Squad will mean;, 1: Booze ring w*ill g o under-

ground. 2. Stookh wiil be abandoned in

favor of Canasta. 3. Martlet will coMply with

ban. “We weren’t publishing anymore anyway,” d a i d

+ Editor. . ’

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Ii I ’ Pecadent Martlet \

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Handed io ‘Smith ‘You, can have it,” s’aid embitter- :d Editor.

Bright-eyed, innocent Peter Smith dntered the Rookery yes- :erday. While opening the win- iow, youthful (17’) ’ Smith said, ‘Things will be different next rear,”

Aging (18), embittered John’ Napier-Hemy grunted, scratclled :offee-stained sweater,’ and said, ‘Machine’s breaking down. YOU :an have it,”

The, now cynical editor-in-chief c faced with increasing problems, and intimated that he was ‘‘skip-.* ping town.”

Editor “Dirty Dick” aker hanged him- self day. on the Library steps yester-

“Denny da Boid” ”Wanted Drape-panted, psychopathic

”Denny da Boid” is being hunted by Essondale Authorities. Busi- ness Managers Tania “the Body” Hurmuses, and Doreen “the

Disillusione % News

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9 Shape” Collie have been denoun- ced by a joint V:C.I?.-S:C.M.- Newman Club committee ‘‘as a - moral-corrupting in f lu en c e .” Clubs Editor Ray Wehner is

; studying for exams. Star report- ers Davs: Moilliet and .Gerald . Coultas killed one and other in a duel yesterday. I t ‘is reportEd

5 that Moilliet called,,Coultas a lecherous old ,man, and that Coultas retored by calling Moil- liet “a senile! ,idiot.”

Admitted Napier-Hemy, ab- sen.tly scmtching the pamt from a pm-up, “The Martlet is a clique and a faction. I t is not a student paper. W e have misused .Council funds and we owe Acme Press ,nioney. Pour me another !beer.”

On a suggestion from elr-presi- F dent Neil Neufeld that the retir-

ing ,editor should. make some formal presentation to the new editor, Napier-Hemy threw the typewriter at Smith, .Picking up his’ teeth, Smith stammered, :‘We’ll clean this place up next year.” .It .( will be remembered that Napier-Hemy made a simil-

: ar statenlent last year.

‘Named as Principals in Vice-Net Expos6 are left to. right Jean “Cushions” McKee, a coy>y-boy John “The Sinner” Goult, Doreen “The Shape” Collie, Julie “Gee Gee” Horsey, Dudley “Laughine

I Boy” Coddington, ‘l’ania “The Body” Hurmuses, and an assistant copydboy.’

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Famous Authors I Back Up Freud, I

Why Bug Edster Eggs When You .qon Give Your Friends The ,.Bird? . “ ~ y love and 1”would lie.”- 1. E. Housman,.

“Je dormait dans us gros lit? -Coriot.

“His hand y a s ,resting on a nountain.”-James Stephens.

“Withdraw thy hand from-me.’ -Job 13:21.

“Are you honesf?”-Sh.akes. )care's' “Hamlet.”

“Je suis ti plaindre, mais pa: I vendre,”-Fldubert. I . . . elle s’abandopna.”-Flaubert

ANYTHING 7HAT.FlTS I S NEWS . . e

Fast-Thinking Martlet .News. Reporter Breaks Open Pubs. Office, Vice Ring “Mississippi. Joe’” Wilson to Face Trial f

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NOTICE!! ATTENTION!!

All Female Reporters

must be in the hands oi

‘the Editor by noon

tomorrow. *r

’ A fmt-thinking Martlet reporter broke through a Pubs office barricada yesterday to expose th biggest gambling net-work in College history.

Crafty, sloe-eyed, “Mississippi Joe”, Wilson named as principle in gambling concession.

’ Those caught in vice dragnet will Iface ,trial in Council Office tomorrow, They are:

“Lippy’* O’Hallocan. Snivelled pantless O’Halloran’; “1 won’t play with those nasty boys again. lk:y took everything Z had.”

I Rotgut” Thompson. Snarled Thompson: . . . you! And OU!’”

Deni Lely. Slobbered levy: “You b o t . (EditoY’s note. A clot is a congealed specimen of blood.) Levy will face additional charge for defamation of charad

I Mississippi J o , e ” Wilson will not face tiial until .next week, We is blind ,,from his recent ex- posure to sunlight. .” ’.

above art: ,--’” ,,-:. *: $

f ]L ’Assault $id* battery-,& those wishing to paint posters.

I 2 Operating a‘ gambling cqncqs- sion without giving the Coun-

cil a percentage. 3 Failure to comply with ven-

4 Vagrancy.

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I Charges arraing8pi,.,again~,t the

tilation req.uirepients..

. 5 O’Hi.alloran will face an addi- tional ’ charge ,of :, indecen!

exposure.

The Dobu consider it unluckJ to bk disembowelled.

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Grittinks from1 Lower Hlobovians *-

Rasputilwille, Gower Hlobovia (PU) ’- Grittinks, Kenedians, from Hlobovian Pipple’s Passant Goveramrtnt (Alw.ays Hlobovia iss haffing Pipple’s Passants Governmant. All Hlobovians iss PasSants. COnsequantlyp Passants iss only party.) Wishink to thank y o u r prasident, Byronsputin Johnsonitch, for last rqlief ship- ment ’ consistink’ off . Hqlenski Harperoff brand swatters. Wit swatters ofer’ their hads, some Hlobpvian womeiis iss lookink not ha.8 bad. Ln cold wather, iss usink them ask snuggy-type in- fant’s troussers. * . I

Also, many thanks, Ke~~edians, For big shipment “Quakker Outs.’’ Passants 1s uslnk worms to mak silk stockinks. .Wit pilk stock! inks ofkr ,their..;. 4rads, s o w Hlobovian’ wpmcns iss lookink not haff (bad.

Remindink you wonce aean thinksiss loussy here in Hlobovia Oftices of PU Prass are being cofiCered ‘wit snow. Honsry .adi- tors is eatink nogoodnrk cop3 boys, Tought we are seeink Kene, dia,n good-will type ship di: mornink, but iss only Hamericat: Battleship, .“Taddy $. Bagle.” Ts! here to defy Rossian army, whlcl iss honly fife miles from HloQo vian borders, and iss blockad@ . i r I t ,

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Hlobovian‘ toot-pick indus’t;l Toot-pick workers iss starfinl Please sand more swatters. Som Hlobovians womens;.iss lookin batter that way.

GIRLS I I r

MORE VICE SCENES !! 1 . I

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Go”ing to U.B.C.

Next Year?

Join a \

MATERNITY

For, full information

write ,to, Vancouver , ,

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Americans, I British .Spread “Goodwill 1‘ I ‘

In 8‘’ .Friend.ly Cross-Country Sales.’Tr>ur

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Sewage Junction, Iowa (HIC) -One of the year’s most excit- 1g events in the sleepy hamlet pf lewage JuiictiOn was the visit of Carl Weefie-Crunch,, Ne‘w Yor,k epresintathe of the English-firm

Piddle-in-the-puddle, England (BURP)-Highlight of the re- cent, Labor Government spon- sored “Plant for Prosperity” J’

agricultural fair was an address by Senator Bilgewater Q. Hog- -’

wash, from Missouri, U.S.A. !+$mator ‘Hogwash, who bas been completing a series of contracts f o r obsolete garbage-disposal equipment, has taken time out from his business activities to make a series of speeches throughout the British Isles.

His subject at the fair was “Earning American D*o 1 1 a r s , Through Production.” The cor- pulent (275 lbs.) Senator spoke in a broad Southern accent, which has already become familiar to Britishers through the medium of American news niovies.

He repeatedly attributed Bri- tain’s econopic ills to the fact that “the British people are not producing.” Said Hbgv@sh, “It’s no use sitting round on’ your bot- *

toms waiting for Marshall Plan dole-outs. You’ve ‘got to get in there with both hands and pro- duce. Chuck out all your obsolete machinery; .and really step up production.” ’

Giving specific exainples of Britain’s I p o v e r t y, Hogwash pointed to the patch on Major Pillsbury-Bloomsworth’s tweeds, referring ,to him tactfully as that “hick.” ’

Commenting on the English Far he had be.en loaned to tour In, Hogwash joshingly said, “there isn’t roo* to spit’ in it.?’

The nex,t point on Senator Hogwash’s itinerary will be Little

I f . Bindle Gaskets Ltd. Earl {arl W-eetie-Crunch, New York ountry demonstrating a new :adget, the Bindle Tension Arm, , slip-on attachment for Bindle :askets, which are used on Bin- Ile Tractors.

After repeated requests by ibigail Applebiter, president of he Local Division of The Grand- laughters of the War of ’ 1812, he dapper, monocle-wearing Earl onsented to speak in hall of the iewage United.

Speaking on “America’s Cry- ng Need for Quality British dachine Parts,” the Earl show- d how the life of Iowa tractors ould ,be increased ten percent throqgh the enlightened usage ‘f Bindle gaskets.” A,sked how he came to visit

iewage Junction, .the Earl chuck- :d and said, “I ,hadn’t meant ,to om’e at all, actually. You see, I Jas asjeep in one of those beastly uses when it stopped. Naturally, thought I was in Des Moines,

nd got out. Never dreamed that he 4311s would stop a t a place like his., The audience la,ughed appre-

iatively. Shown the Autonlit at Gold-

erg’s Foodateria, the Earl com- lented, “Deuced clever, these Tanks. Ingenious device.‘ Does way with everyone but Gold- ‘erg, what?”

The audience again laughed. Invited by Miss Applebiter to

(tend a combined Hoe-Down nd Revival Meeting in the Sew- ge United Hall, the Earl politely .eclined.

{‘I really must be off. You :now. how things are.”

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Phe Bird Reviews iome New Books t

Bird-cages, rat-traps, dolls, and 00 Things Any Boy Can Make -“An interesting manifestatiqn” -Mr. Pettit. T h e Sex Life of an Amoeba-

Lasclvlous””Danie1 C. B, Levy. The Holy Bible-+4 handy

Zference book fort disputes. with agans. All sizes. ’

Machines-Levers, bulleys, in- lined planes, Students’ Council, tc. $.l7 ($2.50 in Canada.) The Martlet-student publica-

on. - “May be processed, into lick, gooey pulp with applica- on of water.”-Mr. Savannah. . . “Useful for blocking’ up

roken windows.” - Alastair lousland. $.05.

The Tower-picture magazine -expensive. Hop to Make $10,000 a Year

-a guide to the printing industry -$.lo. v

Dogs, S,paniels, Terriers, Capl- %list, etc. . . . another McGugan elease.

As you probably already know, the Martlet is a clique ant faction. It is not a student paper.’That is why we are printini the Bird.‘ The Bird contains none of the hypocritical nicetie: none of the .misleading half-truths and none of the insidiou inlplications that the Martlgt does. The Bird contains nothini but shingle-nails. #

That’s right. Shingle-nails. f

And believe me, the Bird isn’t afraid to call a shingle-naj a shingle-nail. , .

As .you will probably notice the front page is lousy wit1 news about the Martlet. Andi that’s what we think of th Martlet. Shingle-nails.-P.U. 3

Literary Arts On April 8,”. Mr. E. Beedc

world traveller, will address tl Literary Arts Society on his prc posed trjpk to the Gold Coas where he hopes to discover go1 The Canary Islands where 1 hopes to discover canaries, ar the Virgin Islands where 1 hopes to discover ground-nuts.

j H our,” a Sunday afternoo usical program.

lotices ,”

Tom Rhodes, Forum Pres: nt, was reported seen in .Iloon following a recent Forur ,bate. A witness said, “Tor id he was Jqe Stalin. He’s sti ) in the air.” Prayers have bee Fered for his recovery.

Up-to-the-minute .Gallup po lows that two out of three stt :nts who bought:the &st issu

the Martlet prefer Purex. * + *

The annual meeting of tk 4et’s Give Mr. Poisson a Ne. hirt” Society will meet in roo] ; nex‘t Monday. *Executives wi : elected for the 1950-51 sessiol

, . . * + *

Inside. the Rookery . . . another f Gunther’s insides is out.

.TwTggington, where h,e will speak on “Hbw Britain Can Avoid De- pression Through : Production” ’ - at the alnnuaf Poultry Exhibit. i

:orurn Introduces The S.C.M. /

~olilical Courses The Student Christians w have a movement early ne: week.

Mrs. Ina McCoskey, Barge ;treet, was dinner hostess to a lumber of students staying at Ler residence throughout the ,949-50 academic ‘session last rhursd,ay.

First treated to an entrC of :anadia,n bun,s, the students ;howed their appreciation by learti\y digging their knives into ; pat of butter which Mrs. MC- ~ s k e y had artfully‘ placed in .he center of the ta)>le..The buns vere :by tumblers of water which s:he bad, drasvn €or he occasion.

On the tnaitl course was Spud Slab, an lngetuons load comv )ounded of pommes de terres and 111 exotic Italian meat called ,alami. This tantalizing dish was aid in carefully aged garlands ) f lettuce. As an additional appe- izer, the guests were, treated to :heese McCoskev, which was

The Forum,$ most vocal group 111 the Campus, will sponsor a .umber of new courses next year. ‘hey are:

Heckling 202. Fundamentals of nvective-hurling, cliche-tossing, .nd lung-d.eveloping. Prerequis- te-History 101.

Mudslinging 200. An i n troduc- ory course dealing with the .elem nents ’ of ’ #blackmailing and red- lerring drawing. .Prerequisite- h d e n t Elections 105.

donfusion 304. ‘An advanced :ourse outlining the principles ol lrguing in a circle. Prerequisite -Forum Debating 200,

Red-Baiting 200. Origin, evolu- ion, and use of such terms as red,’: “agitator,” “insiduous evil pawing at the roots of our .emocracy,” “anarchist,” etc. ’rerequisite-Heckling 202.

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Jazz Club On April 4, the Jazz ,Club w

be hosts to Bugs Bumpwell ar his All-White Dope Fiends, wl have been making a cross-cou’ try tour of penitentiaries, lunat asylums and universities.

Ra-dio Club On April 2, the Rddid C11

. will present the - “Constipatc

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“They say HUMBER‘S Give Furniture Away

With a Smile! ers a t &$’!- in I her .home for. the Third, Local of th’e Women’s

erved in rat-trabs in different Rivet-Heavers , . Association.

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Apple-browsing was Eve’s downfall., Book-browsers will meet sore temptations at .

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824 Douglas St., Driver-Owfied Cabs are

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GIRLS BE WISE! ZERO COLD WATI%R

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B$ng thid ad in for a F R E E SAMPLE

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I

“THE MARTMT March $1, J 950. 4 * ’ Page Five b

2nd Div. Vikings Defeat 0,ak’Bay Jazz Club Features Terry Garner The Collegians were pressing ,

in the first half, and seemed to forgkt abo,ut their defense, giving the Wanderers a big chance which they missed. However, the fiie work of the ‘College pack was finally rewarded, when Mur- ray Saunders fell on a loose ball over the opposition’s touch line. Jim “Spider” Loutit made the finest kick of the day when he split the uprights from a very ,

difficult angle. The Vikings really put on the /,

pressure in the second half, and came close to pay dirt on nearly every play, but the, Wanderers put up a very strong defense. Half way through the period, Glen Guest, who played an ex- cellent game defensively and, offensively, had to leave the field due to a shoulder injury. Later in the half, Jim Loutit made good a kick when the team .was award- ed a penalty in front of the Wan- derers goal posts.

In one of the hardest fought rames of the year, the 2nd Dlvi- ;ion Vikings, led by the sensa- :ional ki,cking of Jim Loutit, lefeated the Oak Bay Wanderers 3-0. Holding the edge in the play :hroughout most of the game, :he Vikings showed the improved :earnwork, and spirit they have cained under the coaching of ”harlie Howatson.

By Carol Potter- *~ There was just lone’ touch of Bop in “Congo Blues” with Dizzy Gillespie on trutnpet. This piece included various “jungle” effects, rather more Chinese than African. “No More”

Few were taken by Billie Holli- day’s singing of “No More’’ with Kamarata’s orchestra. The song itself is good and the string back- ground excellent, but Miss Hol- liday failed to impress.

The audience was quite enrap- tured by S,fra Vaughn’s “Don’t B,lame Me. Her pliant, colorful voice showed off ‘the song to ad- vantage. ‘

Lloyd Rayburn’s “Man With a Horn” was a very choice item on the program; it was close to really classical jazz. The fine theme was somewhat too fancy, but just the same, it is a near perfect record.

I t was a ,treat for College jazz fans to meet Terry: Garner. Mo,sl have heard him when he was with the “Saturday Swing Show”{ ovex QIQWX. He is now witb CKDA from 6 to 8- with the “Early Bird Show.”

The College Jazz Club was very fortunate in having ,CKDA’s Terry Garner to officiate a t their Friday 17th meeting. The records he presented, chosen from his own collectio,n, were some that he hitnuelf particularly fancied. For the most part, the audience liked them.

One of the best was the first \one played-Woody Herman’s “Bijou.”, This plece featured calypso rhythm and was filled with interesting variety of h s t r u - ment,.beat and idea. Outstanding was the trombone solo-“one of Harris’ greatest,” said Mr. Gar- ner. “Doggin’ Around”

Count Basie’s “ D o g g i,n’ Around” failed to capture the audience. I t was done up in a style fast moving but -somewha1 routine and aimless. ..

“I Don’t Know What Kind o j Blues I Got” by Duke Ellingtor i s a very .fine sounding record ’It has a simple,-memorable themt

‘ carried partly by the clarinet anc ’ underlined by masterful fbu,

casual harmony. There is a shor, * vocal in it by Herb J,efferies.

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Introducing . . The .New Council

Ken MacKay,’ first non-veteran president for many years, has had excellent executive training 3s president of the Students’ Council of Oak Bay High.

Marion Gibbs, Secretary, is re- sponsible for the high quality of work in this year’s Tower.

Fred Anderson, Treasurer, has skillfully kept Tower,, expendi- tures from soaring. Next year he will be responsible for keeping meagre Council, funds intact.

Douglw “Meatball” Bebb, lam ky scholar and athlete, will be on the bit next year directing Men’s athletics and injecting life into Council meetings.

Vera Stanley, energetic First Year e ‘resehtative on the W.U.- G.S., ’$11 take the wheel from Jean McKee next year in organ-

Profile of KEN MACKAY

On interviewing “Slick” Mac Kay, one easily sees why th students of Victoria CoIlege gal the new president-,elect the grea est majority of votes ever ac corded a candidate for A.M.! president. l i e !las a quiet, eas: going manner which gives h acquaintances a feeling of COI lidence in his abilities to mastc any situation. His speakir talents, well demonstrated at tl Awards Banquet, will great assist him to co-ordinate ar manage College activities ne: term.

Coping with executive respo~ sibility is nothing new tq “Slick During his final year at O.B.H. he was president of the Studeni Council and captain of the r( basketball team. His proficienc in athletics, especially basketb: and baseball, is matched by equ proficiency in his studies.

Asked what he thought of s t dent administration a t Collef this year, ‘“slick” replied that would be difficult to better tl standard attained by faculty ar council this year. However, ; “life at College does get dull times,” he. thought that a .fe innovations in student activi were needed.

On this last. point we agre Good luck “Slick.”

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Pat Thomas, new Literary and Scientific Director and prominent Saanich politician, will supervise club activities,

David “Suds” Sutherland, who has kept Martlet readers happy with his clever cartooning, will be in charge %f sign-painting as Director of Publications and Publicity.

Beverly Luff, Women’s Sports I izing women’s ‘social functions. Representative.. to the three winners, .who re, ceived $5.00, $3.00 and $2.00 re. spectively.

The V.C.F. Features of theo V.C.F. pro-

gramme during tlte past few weeks have been talks led by Mr. Climenhaga and I Rev, Mac- Lean.

Profess:: Climenhaga chose as his topic The Compatabi’lity of Science and Christianity.” H e showed how many statements in the Bible, whibh were formerly believed. false,’ have now been proved scientifically correct, ’

Rev. MacLean gave the group a m talk on some of St. Patrick’s writings.

For their final meeting the V.C.F. have planned to have Mr. Harris, a prominent citizen of Jamaica, as speaker.

Cqmera Club Connla Wood, Camera Club

President, recently announced the winners of the Camera Club contest. They are Denis Levy, first prize, David Sutherland, second prize, and Julie Horsey, third prize. 1

The prize mone,y, which was jointly r,aised by the Camera Club and the W.U.G;S., was awarded

Wehner,Enyisions New Building Sees Silent .Library Lighting

The S.C.M. P l a k are under way for i

weekend camp at Thetis Islanc from April 29 to May 3. “hi! expedition will terminate the year’s activities.

Next year the S.C.M. hopes t( be an official part of the world wide and dominion-wide move ment.

Executives expressed thanks tc Mr. Hulford, who,,as club Chap, lain, has given much of his time and energy, and also to M. “rei and Mr., Jones, faculty members for. their help and encourage ment. c

Mr. Hughes can expect a lab- oratory which will contain :. com- fortable working tables. and chairs, space designed specifical- ly ‘for equipment, sinks, gas equipment, a dark room, and facilities for converting the lab- I

oratory into a projection room, which will p,ermit th,e adequate presentation, by’visual means, of “physical views.”

lecture rooms as laboratories will find laboratories designed for I

their respective subjects. ’ The gymnasium will be of

regulation size and will have: a complete track, complete gym- nasium equipment, spectator space, good ventilation, and shqwers within a few feet of the doors. Silent ’Light ’ Miss Mathews will have a li-

brary quite different in many re- spects to the present one. The new library will have: miles of shelvipg with (books always with- in eisy ,reach, tables and chairs designed for comfort, warm, fresh air, silent lighting, and (I room set aside for , periodicals and magazines with a “talk as much as you like, fellows” pro- vision. Miss Mathews’ office will &

be ,sound-proof, and will be sit- uated overlooking the lirbrary through a giant window.

My pet room will be one de- signed specifically to suit the needs, of club. activities with the following: comfortable and adap- table seating, ’storage space .for the needs of each club, qiano, recording and record play1Fg equipment, ,*and movie equrp- nlent for general club activltles.

This imaginary college addi- tion and the addition which will materialize in the future may be two distinctly different things, but I say, as I sit with my two feet above my “functional” desk, “I can dream, can’t I?”

Other instructors, n o d using ,

By Ray Wdhner

Last fall a friend of mine, a student of architecture from the University of Manitoba took one look at our building and said, “Huh!’’ I .didn’t know much about architecture at the time, but my friend was kind enough to explain the “obvious” defects of the building.

My friend presents an idea which is probably ultra-modern: “A good building is a functional building.” The ideal building, in the words of my friend, is one in which beauty lies not in orna- mentation (which . is useless),, but rather in sim.plicity and the complete fulfil.lment of a specific function. In function, every por- tion of the building must account for some purpose, and the build- ing must, at the same time, be adaptable to changing needs.

Because this pew addition to the college building will not in- trude to any considerable extent on the present landscape, I think ‘1 may apply the criterio of my friend’s “good cbuilding” to the

soposed addition; the new !build- g is going to be functional.

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French Club The last meeting of the Frencl

Club took place a t Mrs. Birley’! home where the three group! gathered for an informal after noon on March 12th. Misse: Collie, Sawyer, and Coltis playec the piano. Refreshments wen served. ’ Some people talked others danced, some even triec to learn the Charleston.

NOTICE ‘The Arts Centre”’ Bf’ Great

Victoria and . Victoria Collel Evening Division ‘present Ma: Bucklkl Hammond (cello), ar Una Calvert .(piano), in a recit on WednesdAy, April the 26t 8:30 p.m., .at Victoria, Col1e.g Tickets are 75c and 50c for st dents and Art! Centre Membet They may be obtailled from C Marry, Hickman.

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Radio Club Givdnitial Broadcasts ‘tors being David Moilliet, Reic Taylor, Kay Orchard, liosalil Chee’seman, and John Coult. 11 addition to the play there wa information of the d.C.T. given Guest artists were Muriel ant Vivian Trimble who sang Sig mund Romberg’s ‘!Desert Song.!

Ed Farey, program director o CKDA, generously consented tc write the first two scripts in hi own time in order’ to acquain the club with the procedure o radio program production. Sub sequent shows will be written b: the Radio ‘Club executivks.

I t is hoped that the program will continue until the ’end o April with the main features be ing the spotlighting of the vari ous College Clubs and studen adtivities such as The Student5 touncil, 3thletics I and publica tions. / ’

RECORD fans The first show of the College ‘Radio Club was presented oier Radio Station CKDA’ $Mon- day, March 20, a t 9!30 p.m.

The program, announced by Johnny Symonds, gave a resume of the governing body, officers, Staff and history of ‘Victoria Col- lege. In the spotlight was feat- ured ,Marguerite. Mawer singing Pur Dicesti, and Marion Gibbs playing Chopin’s pantastie In- promptu and the first movement of Poulenc’s Perpetual Suite.

The Second Program The second program was heard

the ,following Monday a t 7 :30, the new time being necessary to allow, for ,the hockey .lbroad‘caist at 9 :OO. Reatureo in. , .th$s. &ob was the Victoria College Theatre who gerformed Dicken’s “Dt. Manette’s .Manuscript,” the ac-

remember ‘this ooking Ahead F. r o m present indications nostly hearsay) the new addi- 3n will leqve the present build- g completely free for lecture Irposes. Administration off ices boratories, gymnasium, li,brarq ld other ,rooms will be founc . presume) in the new addition T o begjn with, Miss Cruick- lank will have an office corn. .ete with the following: a silenl lor, adequate illumination, suffi. ent filing and storing space, s :inting room designed for al’ le school’s printing -needs, a rge vault for the storing oj ower money, asd a small kit- len complete with equipmenl xessary fdr’ afternoon tea.

Jive or Classic It doesn’t matter . . At B.C. SOUND , You’ll find your platter.

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Page Six

dirty dick’says: i

‘DoYou‘Know‘That ..’ . ernment. Its people have heard Tommy and the Hsnourable, ’

Member from the Mediterranean Area throw their issues *back and Forth across the house. Its people , havd heard the story of the pur- ple dye. Its people have heard the story of tEie highway that ’

runs before a member’s farm. For’ a part of each winter day, its people are a part of its gov- ernment.

.There is something about Sask- Saskatchewan is flat, too-at The’ Young Love ’

During the past two terms i’ve ’ noticed ,many tender romances

here at College, either just in the bud, or in full blaom. Let’s have a look ,at the passing parade.

There .are those tight-hit lit- tle romances that nobody seems to know ,much about. Gerry and fhyl,; Johnny and Joan, and Hutch and Corry are the niain contributors to.’my wonder and

‘speculation. How about the ,Casanova type

who just plays with his lady- love? Suave, sophisticated, Peter Paterson conducted many in- trigues in the Council Office and

least that psft of SaskatchewaA that people talk abou?. I know the Saskatchewan that roll& its flat carpet of waving wheat to the horizon. But Saskatchewan has its trees and valleys, and these trees and valleys are as much a’ past of Saska’tchewan as its carpet p f wheat.

.And, of course, there is some- t h i n g about Saskatchewan’s government. An island of social- ism 111 Canada, Saskatchewan proudly &plays its tratisporta- tion, company, its air ambulance service, its hospitalization ,plan that works, and mqny other things the province has bought with its socialism.

There is something, else about Saskatchewan’s government: car- ried to Re$.ina.by Mr. Marconi’s invention, the people of Saskat- chewan can be a part of the gov-

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atchewan that attracts the at- tention of people-even Eriglish professors. The word Saskatche- wan ’spoken in conversation brings chuckles from some, sneers from some, and from bthers , smiles of satisfatcion fol- lowed with this note: “Why, that’s where I come from!’’ Yes, there is something about Sask- atchewan. ,

There is ‘&mething about Saskatchewan’s physical feat- ures, Its summer days are felt with burning skin and seen with a clqud of dust-in many years, a cloud of ’hoppers. I ts winter days are felt with a stinging cold and seen wi’th last summer’s tumble-weeds-we called them rushin’ thistles, they were always going somewhere-struggling to free themselves from a snow- banked barb-wire fence.

Co nelius J. ‘Neufeld and this lo&y wife. ~ o w f lucky can you get? 4

Two members of the Council seem to have used ‘ hypnosis to have so completely ,subjugated their ‘partners in love. ‘

Here and There While in Vancouver, thy BOSS

went to one of those famous Pub Bureau parties. First on the menu was gin, followed by Chin- ese foo_d, and topped off with warm beer. Needless to sayi be didn’t feel any ,too well, the next day.

One of our ‘2nd year science- ,men is afraid of a woman, believe it or ndt. Ask him about the night he left his shoes behind and, in his bare feet, ran, away from her demanding grasp’.

John has a tea party at his house every other day (some- times in’ the night, too). This can be interpsting, especially when it’s tea for two.

’ Fresh Men What technique does Rag use

to ’bring that little girl friend of his so much under his spell?

The light’ has cha,nged from Amber to green for I Stew.

Murray ‘and Sam got stuck by the Premier’s house the other night. They used Mr. Johnson’s .bricks, t,o get they out of the h u d .

._ . * * * ‘:‘During the past‘ issues of t i is

papep I have mentioned the Naval Approach nlany times. I, should like t&:give a word of advice to those wishing to employ. it. 1 If you are a nqvice at ,the game of “Touch and Go” it is agaipst all good common sense to attempt this ,method of attack. Better to use the “Soldier Sneak” play:

Saska’tchewan has been the poor land. Yes, people in Sask- atch;ewan have toiled fdr years only to be hailed out, burned out, blown out, eaten out, mortgaged out, starved out. Many ’ of its people have had the right to complain that Saskatchewan has not been the land ‘of milk and honey, but rather the land of sweat and sorrow. . ,

The Rich ,Land But Saskatchewan has also

been the rich land - the land where many men have begun with nothing and finished with fortune. Today,, Saskatchewan looks to fortune and prosperity -the land df wheat feels its im-, poitance in the world. And now the people of Saskatchewan are. talking ,about oil-Qil that may take Its place with wheat, the Saskatchewan farmer’s gold.

. Biglogy (?) Lab. ‘L hreerstout-hearted “Untidies”

took the pledge some time after New Yees . Unfortunately, two of them deviated from the party line and reverted to the Naval qppfoach and the Nqrmal School species. ,

You may not have noticed many of ‘the affairs going on

1 right under your nose. Here are a few: . . . those young philosophers who $it side by side in class. NO wonder Johnny never has any of the answers. . . . that coup1 who have .just made up. I t must e be spring, Dina.

’ , . . . the. fellow who goes out with the, Minister gf Education’s daughter, EnougMsaid! . . . the symlbol of ,British Indi- vidualism-Conn-la Wood, apil the fair Rosalid. Thls IS why Connla has beeb so inflated these past daysdafter all, be spirite.d her right from the ’ infamous

Rtv . -0r r baked his negative argument on the deeds of the Christian Church in many cdun- tries, especfally Africa. He stated that our Common Law is based on Christianify, and that ‘‘tyrant ny IS impossible where Chris- tianity exists.’’ This debate evoke4 considerable interest from the -various religious organiza- tions on the campus, and:was a lively topic debate among the student body itself. ,’

The cause .of international gdod-wiil received an enthusiastic boost recently in the form of a vis$ of a group of Austrian stu- dents ,to U.B.C. This, group has been visiting the Varsity under the auspices of the Office for Wandering Stbdents (Amt fuer Studenwanderungen). Altogether there were 31 students on the trip, who have been presenting nusi- cal programnles’ of Audtrian folk music, smglng, and dancing across the continent. They were sent from the ’ Universlty of Vienna, and were chosen so as to represent over thirty different districts of Austria. ’ On kriday, March 3, U.B.C. inhabitants were treated to a de- bate abetween Les ‘?Armour and Kev. J. E. Orr on the subject: ‘Resolved that the ‘Social Philo- sophy .of Jesus Christ is not Practical.” h n o p r , on the affir- mative, based !his ’argument on the fact that there are too many different interpretations ,pf Chris- tlanity. Said qrmour, We ‘can not look to God to interfere in individual actions.”

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’ But who can describe Saska&- chewan’? .Npt any writer. Sask- atchewan’ alone describes itself and says, “T+here is something about ,Saska’tchewan!” I

. * ”F ted , Smith.

Note:-Fred Smith ‘is one of those Saskatchewan people who likes to talk, An,important thing to Mr. Smith these days is to be able to defend I his native prov- ince. I know Mr. Smith quite well, and although he is some- times vain, sometimes foolish, and sometimes a . genuine nuis- mce, I can s ~ y , whether or not Mr. Smith be talking’ about his native pro$ince,\ there are times when he knows what hk is talk- ing about. ~ ’

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Introducing . . - Pierre. 8

“the kid.” What kid? , . . and then there’s Reg and The’iower ; , ,

Probably the sweetest and most Marion Gibbs, the energetic edi- tor of The Tower, is the person responsible for making this year’s .annual such a S ~ C - cess. t

Pete Smith, the associate’ editor, ---has used his experience, as

editor of last year’s “Carnosun” to smooth out the rough spots

I in editing “The Tower.” Fred Anderson, carefree business

manager, can smile as he gl‘ibly asks an Additional $300 from the student body.

Dave Sutherland i s probably the hardest worker in the College. In his position as art editor of “The Tower,”‘ Dave has done the cover, cartoons, I and pro- files.

Anna Johnson, the persuasive money-grabber on the staff, has kept up advertising sales’ de-

\ spite many difficulties. Bob Hutchison has been busy

writing up all the sports events of the past ‘year for “The Tower.”

Maureen Cromie, capable Liter- ary editoy, has had the difficult task of choosing the best $of the many contributions re- ceived.

Connla Wood, with a Aash- camera in one hand, and a tri- pod in the other, is in charge of club and candid pictures. I

Bruce 1 Naylot has been losing ;weight chasing club pr.esidents for their annual reports.

Peter Evans and Bernadette L inebm a re the two’ r&pon$q ible for.the second year person- alities. , .

Dick Baker has been prying into the lifves of the faculty, seeking inspiration for staff write-ups,

4

enduring “romance is that of

burst into the full bloom of adolescence., Buxom ‘and happy, she would watch the sun sink into the west, mkrking the‘ eAgd of another glorious day, as the warm winds played invitingly about her body.

Within the next five years, she gave birth to ten children, six of whom *were normal.

She ‘was then presented with the “Stalin Prize for Maternal Productivity.”

She had never beet) happier, Often upon a ,winter’ts night, she would sit in the collective barn and jingle her medals .together, T’he Love Mgssage

One day she sat next t O the famous Russian general Ickj Halfoff ’ on a railway coach. Neither spoke, but in a glance they read in one anotherls eyeh the love message. th,at has blazed undiminished for a ihillion years, Jcki was powerful, handsqme and irresistible. Whed he spoke,‘ the words’.canle in a passionate tor-

’ 1 Dear ‘Reader: Do you remem- ber ,Little Gretta? Tlk Commis- sar from ‘the Soviet zone .took

Perhaps you will be able to meet ,Mr. Smith. Whether or not one can pick up the, discard pile i f . the top card can be used in one’s meld, whether or not “jazz’’ has it all over “classical,” whether ,or not .Saskatchewan is as cold as British Columbia, and ’

whether or not, we should recog- nize ’the price of eggs in China, are things ’Mr. Smith will lprob- ’

ably discuss with you. Yes, per- haps you, will be able- to meet Mr. Smith. And then, as Mr, Smith says, !‘We sh$l see ’. : . what we shall see!”

. -Ray Wehner. r .

~ her away from her , German homelaqd, {did he not? And I

’ , have lainawake saying to myself, “I I wonder what happened to her.” And now, I have the, full story told f’n all its simple passion and naked be,auty.

Grefta Kartoffelkopf s t 9 o d ,alone in the blackness of the

‘ uranium mines, a thousand lumi- nous pinpoints dancing before her eyes like some bilious delirl

Yanks Overcome Savage Beast

By David Moilliet Ij

Oklahoma was ‘on ‘ the alert. Only two months out of India.. . a beast full .of savage jungle guile . . . that w.as the object of the State’s 3,000-men leopard hunt. Battle-hardened ’qarines, the fearless Press, vigilant police and just plain citizens were mobilized.

The animal was finally trapped with good old American Mickey Finn. The leopard ate, grew drowsy and was captured. Fifteen1 hours later it ,died.

~ After .the great beast’s death, many Americans suddenlyk felt sorry. The animal had died, “not in fair combat, ,but by a massive Mickey, had died with its eyes fixed, ndt upon the Himalayas, bgt upon the tired, businesslike face of a veterinarian.”

‘But this *was not the end of the episode: . . . Cdmmerce ,and Industry met , the challenge. Macy’s Department Store pro- duced ‘electric-eyed toy leopards, there were leapard strip-tease acts, dollar leopard T-shirts and even leopard-skin ,menus offered by one ,restaurant.

‘Where else but in ‘this great centre of World Trade .to the South could one find such a re- sgQnse to the needq of the fickle

bnum I I ublic? Hurrah for E ,Pluribus

I , 1 ’ , .

.,1

ium. “Ach,” she said; spitting onto

the lbarren earth below her, “I

. I

Keep Supplied / %

with

College Equipmen1 rent. “Ah,” he murmured, “I kiss

your fingers , . . I kiss your hatld . . . I- kiss you]: eAbow .’. . I kiss your shoulder . . . , I . kiss your lips.”

, “Ah hi,” he said, ‘‘1 tiqkle yaur toes . $ , . I tickle your ,,feet . .

tickle your calves . . I

After’a while, Gretta k n ~ w him quite- well.

“Adh,” said Gfetta; ‘‘Germany was never like this.”

Then there were others. T h y was Pietro Kwitoff, the wrld. eyed ppet, .who worsld,.seek fol Gretta’s .image. in the lily-ponds there was Rubles Kopec, thc power-mad bureaucrat, w h c would drink vodkg W i l , late. a$ night, shrieking 111s g1,onficatlor of Gretta to the empty chamber: of his home, while. he lashed ou savage1,y a t his furniture with z riding-crop; there was Ivan, thc peasant. boy yith the muscles o iron, who would take her intc the orchard and chan’t ballads tc: her. in rhythm with the breeze

But as Ime w$nt :by, khe song of the V 2 lga grew. fainter, and the chanting of Mother Russia grew weaker in her breast. Her eyes mQoistene8 bs though1

, ,

And, he did.

I ,

We’re always &;iy ’

,with a ‘fide stock” of ‘

lootseleaf b i n d e r 6,

books; pens and pen7 cillr, Come and see us at otar new, location.

DI,GG’ON’S Government ai Johnlron

,of the dark, sombre woods of hpl German homeland.

As she lay on the steppes aric pined for the smell sf schnapps an8 the sound of guttural voices .a fat, jolly man in a red sui, appeared, his rotund figure quivc ering with his hearty, laughter.

’But it wasn’t the commissar. I t was Santa Claus. No kidding 1

“Cleanctrs to Particular, People” E