1 · Quadrant Model (The one we’re working with in this book is the “PSI” model in red): ......

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

We Have A Date!The Secret to Success and HappinessWhich Category Do You Fall Into?Promoters: The Limelight of EverythingControllers: The Power to Control EverythingSupporters: At Peace with EverythingAnalyzers: Constantly Dissecting EverythingSetting the StageHow to Date PromotersHow to Date ControllersHow to Date SupportersHow to Date Analyzers

Being Everything to Everyone!


Girls Guide to RelationshipQuadrants

Mastering Love Skills by Understanding theWayYour Man Behaves

Welcome to the Relationship Quadrants Guide! This is a fun-‐filled,light-‐hearted guide on how to relate to a man by understanding yourselfas well as understanding how HE behaves -‐based on his personalitytype!

As you might know, there are many variations of teachings regardingthe personality quadrants out there all written by psychologists andexperts in the field.

Modern personality analysis tends to categorize people into one of four main types.Although each of us are unique and form different combinations of these types, weall have one dominant personality type that characterizes us most accurately.

There are many different schools of thought extending from ancient times to thepresent that use four main groupings or categories of personalities. This is oftencalled a "four-‐quadrant model", and is used in many different psychological andemployment contexts.


Here’s a chart of almost all the variations on the Four Quadrant Model (The one we’re working with in this book is the “PSI” model in red):

Table of Equivalents for the 4 Personality Types

Merrill-‐Reid Driver Expressive Amiable Analytical

D.E.S.A. Dominant Expressive Solid Analytical

HippocratesGreek Terms(370 BC)

Choleric Sanguine Phlegmatic Melancholy

WesternAstrology Fire Air Water Earth

"What's MyStyle?" (WMS) Direct Spirited Considerate Systematic

The P's Powerful Popular Peaceful Perfect

The S's Self-‐propelled Spirited Solid Systematic

The A's Administrative Active Amiable Analytical

LEAD Test Leader Expressor Dependable Analyst

ARRAY(JonathanKnaupp)

Production Connection Status Quo Harmony

BiblicalCharacters Paul Peter Abraham Moses

Geier Dominance Influencing Competence Steadiness

DiSC(r) Dominance Influencingof Others Steadiness Cautiousness/

Compliance

McCarthy/4MATSystem

CommonSense Dynamic Innovative Analytic

Merrill / Wilson Driver Expressive Amiable Analytic

Plato (340 BC) Guardian Artisan Philosopher Scientist

Kretschner(1920) Melancholic Hypomanic Anesthetic Hyperasthetic

Sprangler(1930) Religious Aesthetic Theoretic Economic

From (1947) Hoarding Exploiting Receptive Marketing


Psycho-‐Geometrics(1978)

Triangle Squiggle CircleSquare/Rectangle

Type A or B Type BMotivated

Type BMessy

Type ACasual

Type ACompulsive

PSI Controller Promoter Supporter Analyst

BrokenlegReclaimingYouth at Risk

MasteryAchieverPower

BelongingAttachedSignificance

GenerosityAltruisticVirtue

IndependenceAutonomousCompetence

Enneagram AdventurerAchiever

HelperRomantic

PeacemakerObserver

AsserterPerfectionist

Animals Bear Monkey Dolphin Owl

True Colors(r)(1978) Green Orange Blue Gold

Children'sLiterature Rabbit Tigger Pooh Eeyore

Charlie BrownCharacters Lucy Snoopy Charlie

Brown Linus

Jane AustenNovelCharacters

EmmaWoodhouse

LydiaBennet

ElizabethBennet

MarianneDashwood

Comics Jason Snoopy Cathy Ziggy

Who Moved MyCheese?(by SpencerJohnson, M.D.)

Sniff Scurry Haw Hem

The CelestineProphecy(by JamesRedfield)

Intimidator Poor Me Aloof Interrogator

No one personality type outshines the other or is preferable to the other -‐ but allcomplement each other in different ways. If you are choosing a team for a difficulttask, it is a good idea to have representation for each on your team for a balancedapproach to the task at hand.

The information here covers two main points:· Understand which personality quadrant you fall into· Understand how to deal with the man you’re with.


Which Category Do You Fall Into?

Are you?

PEOPLE ORIENTED (Let’s call this INFORMAL) or TASK ORIENTED (We’ll callthis FORMAL)?

In other words, do you feel more comfortable dealing with task, schedules, objects,projects, and results? OR do you feel more comfortable dealing with people, groupsandpeers?

DOMINANT or EASY-GOING?

Do you find yourself always wanting to be in charge, in the lime-‐light and findingthingsto take over? OR are you the more laid-‐back, relaxing, don’t mind, complyingattitude?

NOTE: Don’t Think too much! Just take the 1st answer that pops up in yourmind!IF YOU ARE:

INFORMAL + DOMINANT, YOU have a PROMOTING STYLE

FORMAL + DOMINANT, YOU have a CONTROLLING STYLE

INFORMAL + EASY-‐GOING, YOU have a SUPPORTING STYLE

FORMAL + EASY-‐GOING, YOU HAVE an ANALYZING STYLE

STILL CAN’T DECIDE which categories you are in, ask the person who spends themost time with you and chances are, you belong in one of the 4 styles above.Now that we have established your typical behavioral pattern, let’s see how we canget you to deal with your man!

Here’s another way to tell where you fall (and where a man might fall if he took thequiz!)

We understand that the responses provided won’t always describe you exactly, orcover the myriad emotions and reactions that are generated within each of us. Whenyou read each question, ask yourself, “In General, which of these answers usuallywould apply to me?” Move through the questions rapidly, trusting in your intuitiveresponse, which is usually the most accurate.


1. I like to help people1. understand the proper facts2. enjoy themselves3. accomplish a task4. feel better

2. I rarely hear myself say,1. “I’ll do it immediately.”2. “I’ll give this careful thought and study.”3. “I’ll do whatever you say,”4. “You’re wrong.”

3. I most desire to1. understand.2. have fun.3. conquer challenge.4. forge closer relationships.

4. I would describe myself as1. thoughtful and deliberate.2. friendly and energetic.3. goal-‐oriented and driven.4. loyal and committed.

5. I have the most difficulty with1. operating at a rapid pace for extended periods.2. following up every little detail.3. being patient with others’ procrastination and weaknesses.4. asserting myself.

6. I enjoy giving people1. correct information.2. a laugh.3. a challenge.4. a helping hand.

7. I could easily put together a long list of1. facts about a given subject.2. my friends.3. my goals.4. my values.


8. I most dislike1. being rushed.2. being alone.3. losing.4. attacking someone.

9. I ammotivated by1. a desire to learn and the satisfaction of a job well done.2. excitement and variety.3. challenge and crisis.4. building relationships with others.

10. My decisions are usually1. careful and reasoned.2. emotional and impulsive.3. quick and decisive.4. based on others’ feelings, as well as my own.

11. My friends would most likely say that I am1. careful and knowledgeable.2. friendly and fun to be with.3. strong and fearless.4. loyal and patient.

12. I most fear1. chaos and crisis.2. being disliked.3. losing control.4. confrontation.

13. I dislike people who are1. making me hurry.2. boring.3. weak.4. insensitive.

14. I am confident that1. I can learn a lot about almost anything.2. I can overcome most obstacles by the power of my personality.3. I can meet and master any challenge4. I will always treasure my friends and family over financial success.


15. When I have an important decision to make, I would be most likely to1. gather all the relevant information, consider it thoroughly, and thenarrivea t a carefully reasoned decision.2. make a snap decision based on my feelings at the time, and I might changemy mind later.3. quickly arrive at the best possible decision, and I expect others to go along.4. ask others how they would be affected by the consequences of my actions,and I would try to consider their best interests, not just my own.

16. If I could select only one word to describe myself, it would be1. intelligent.2. friendly.3. strong.4. faithful.

17. I enjoy1. learning.2. talking.3. winning.4. giving.

18. I prefer to do things1. the correct way. I like things to be done accurately.2. the fun way. I enjoy variety and excitement.3. my way. I like to be in charge.4. the nonconfrontational way. I’d rather not conflict with the desires ofothers.

19. I like people who are1. logical and patient.2. spontaneous and energetic.3. capable and cooperative.4. friendly and kind.

20. I like to think that I am1. correct.2. cheerful.3. in control.4. compassionate.


Now add up the number of questions you answered with Response #1, withResponse#2, and so on. Write your totals below:____ (1) Analyzer____ (2) Promoter____ (3) Controller____ (4) Supporter

We all have all these parts within ourselves – and we show all these parts – but weeach also have one part that seems to show up the most.

See if you can find the closest quadrant that represents you...and let’s go fromthere...


Promoters: The Limelight of Everything

Promoters are people with strongsocial skills. They are very good atwinning over people, crowds, evenenemies. They enjoy being in thelime light.

A Promoter will always be eager toplease others especially if theygive them attention for theiroutgoing, friendly ways. They alsoenjoy the recognition from otherpeople and generally get involvedwith things they would excel to be the best in. Quick thrills and fast paced actionmotivates them.

When they deal with people, they will generally try and sell themselves to othersand even try to win their point of view if it differs. Often, in spite of their outgoingand winning personality, people may perceive them as show-‐offs, manipulative andlike to use other people.

Most of the time, they tend to disregard the feelings of others. They do not knowthey have offended someone even though they thought it was a really funny joke(normally to gain the attention of others at the expense of the poor friend).

A Promoter may also appear to others as overly attention seeking, liars and overexaggerate events or stories to get the attention of others.

They are people who respect strength and will often trample over weaker people.

If you are a Promoter, you will be:· A person who uses openness to build trust· Likes applause, sincere feedback and being the center of attention· A person who embraces excitement and risks· Responds to personal challenges coming from other people· Tends to save effort· Likes to gain visibility and exposure in the eyes of others· May appear over-‐committed but under-‐deliver· Will be influenced by anything that appeals to them emotionally


Controllers: The Power to Control Everything

Controllers are typically people whom others perceive as a very active, independent,self-‐confident and results-‐oriented kind of person. He or she may appear to be bossyat times or even disregard other people's feelings when it comes to getting thingsdone.

They are very forceful and strongwilled and may tend to take chargeof everything, especially when theysee a colleague, project partner orsubordinate doing something wrongor slowly.

They usually appear rushed and willdo anything to save time in the nameof efficiency.

They also have very high standardsand will be seen as very competentin getting the job done but may pushpeople too hard and sometimes evenwondering why those people don'trespond to orders or move tooslowly.

Controllers also tend to lack patience when dealing with others. They don't likerepeating instructions and solving the same problem over and over again.

A controller's need for personal success will also become counter productive as theylimit their ability to work as a team with others because they will hoard all the tasksto themselves.If you are a controller, your will be:

· Obsessed with efficiency and saving time· Enjoys beating your opposition to the ground· Measure the value of everything in results· Gets along well with people who will comply with you· Likes to find out what is the solution to getting things done· Does things that gain immediate result· Thrives best when given the freedom to make all the decisions


Supporters: At Peace with Everything

Supporters are very good friends. They are very casual and likable people thatwould go all out to please others. They are the peace makers. They tend to minimizeconflict with other people.

When it comes to making decisions, they let generally let others make the decisionsand will rarely turn down the request. They may sometimes be perceived by othersas having no back-‐bone because of their complying attitude and lack of initiative.


They are also people who do not respond well to challenges and are not usuallyhighly competitive people. This is because they do not want to hurt the feelings ofothers when winning or losing in a competitive environment and may even 'letothers win' to preserve the friendship.

They are people who respond well to orders (especially from controllers). Thismakes them very easy to supervise but not when it comes to having them do thingson their own without supervision. They also tend to lack interest in planning andgoal-‐setting and may need to be more ordered when it comes to doing things.

Sometimes, it is no point asking them for honest or critical advice because they thento sugar coat the feedback in an effort not to hurt anyone.

Finally, when they face disagreement, they tend to let others have their way whilebuilding a wall of resentment in themselves until they finally explode (and thenapologizing profusely afterwards)

If you are a supporter, you will be:

• Leaning towards projects that promise rewards and more friends Are moreinclined to personal welfare than goals Will do anything to save arelationship

• Enjoys people that provide companionship and mutual cooperation Viewsattention from friends and loved-‐ones an utmost priority Lacking urgency indoing things

• Poor time management• Builds trust through acceptance


Analyzers: Constantly Dissecting Everything

An analyzer is a type of person who uses a methodical problem solving methodapproach to life. They tend to lean more towards good ideas, complex concepts andintriguing solutions rather than towards feelings. They also like study and analysisof the topics they are interested in.

When it comes to making decisions however, their knowledge does not help them;rather it hinders them frommaking timely decisions. The term -‐ Too Much AnalysisLeads to Paralysis tends to describe them best. They tend to procrastinate too muchuntil they 'find the best solution'.

Normally when you put to similar analyzers together, they can entertain each otherfor hours dissecting, hair-‐splitting ideas and spend the whole day discussingtheories and situations and all kinds of things relating to their topic of interest. Onthe other hand, when it comes to talking to others, they tend to bore others and theywonder why nobody will listento their great ideas andanalysis!

Analyzers are the most wellorganized people in the worldand perhaps the only groupwho enjoy doing the dishes.Their charts, graphs, statistics,schedules, calendars anddiaries are probably the mostbeautiful pieces of artworkthey own.

Analyzers thrive in situations where they are in an advisory role and relate well toothers through information. However, they don't respond well to pressure and willbe rendered ineffective when it comes to high-‐pressure situations.

If you are an Analyzer, you will be:

The king of knowledge and will thrive in situations where information is neededMeasures progress by the number of activities Has an overly detailed timemanagement style Builds trust with others through reliability Always asks thequestion HOW because it relates to technical things Will do anything that ensuressafety and gains certainty Is influenced to decide through detailed plans and wellcharted arrangements


Setting the Stage

Now that we have a good idea how we behave, we must remember that thecategories above apply to different people at various degrees. The descriptionsabove define generally what those groups of people have in common. A person withthe more extreme style will display those characteristics more pronounced.

We must move on to the most important step which is being able to relate to a manin a way that he will be attracted to you. In other words, you must relate to his HOTBUTTON.

His “Nightmare” Response

So -‐ what would he consider his worst nightmare personality-‐quadrant-‐wise?

It's important to know that if you're activating this "nightmare" response in him -‐ atbest he'll just not find you interesting, and at worst -‐ he'll be totally turned off. Mostlikely, in either case, you'll never see him again. So...it's important to pay attention towhat's going on between you so you don't put him in a situation with too muchpressure.

We will also take a closer look at his (and YOUR) responses in high pressuresituations.

The majority of the time, people will form their opinions of you during their firstimpression. This shows up when what seems like a "good" first date doesn't turninto a second date. And -‐ unbelievable but true -‐ many, many men hold onto theirfirst impressions of you throughout the relationship -‐ so he may never get fullyemotionally involved and invested in you...even though he's still spending timewithyou.

Remember once again, that 75% of other people are not like us. So it helps toanticipate how they will react to situations -‐ and then the predictability of theiractions will help us to make intelligent guesses as to why they're reacting the waythey do.


How to Date Promoters

A Promoter's worst idea of a date:

Um, hi, err...I have got our entire outing thoroughly planned out for tonight, ok? First,we will come over to my place where we will be watching documentaries on thedevelopments of the decades, and then we will head over to the restaurant nearby tohave a meal.

The restaurant has planned out the entire program where the food will all be servedaccording to the order listed down on the menu, and they will be featuring a live bandthat will play songs that are enjoyed by the majority of the people. After that, maybewe can head over to the library to do some reading. Don't worry, there's no pressurefor us to rush anywhere or do anything over-exciting. In fact, we won't bump intoanyone at all cause nothing can go wrong on this date... um, so how's that?

Okay -‐ this is a very extreme idea of how you might act in a way a Promoter man willexperience as terrible (or the way, if you're a Promoter, that a man might turn YOUoff) -‐ but, let's face it -‐ acting this way with ANY man is a bad idea. Even if he'scoming to your city to visit you -‐ arranging the logistics of his time with you is a verybad idea.

Men in general do not like to be told what to do unless they ask, and they feel bestabout themselves when they're in charge.

That said -‐ use these extreme models we're using here to get a very CLEAR idea ofwhat the "nightmare" is -‐ and check it against the way you normally like to actaround a man.

If you're not getting the results you want with men -‐ it could be that you are simplybeing too "take charge" with a man (possibly because YOU are a Promoter!) -‐ or, itcould be because you've got yourself a Promoter in front of you -‐ and he's not likingthe "vibe" you're directing at him.

Looking at these possibilities makes it so much easier for you to make adjustments -‐and makes it so much easier for you to choose a man (yes, you have a choice...) whofits with YOUR personality quadrant style.

So -‐ without looking at the obvious "take charge" energy of the speech above, let'sjust look at it so you can understand where a Promoter is coming from: APromoter's worst nightmare is predictability! He (or you...) won't like things to bepredictable and boring without any element of excitement or visibility.


If YOU'RE the promoter -‐ and your date is all over you like this -‐ you won't even givehim a chance! You'll feel he has no spontaneity, and write him off. It's reallyimportant for you to know what you can live with in the difference between yourquadrants, and what you can't.

What to know if you are an Analyzer meeting or dating a Promoter:

1. Be a good listener: promoters LOVE to talk and talk and experience you whenyou're excited and interested and concerned about what they're talking about.

Social skills are really important here -‐ in terms of just being able to listen withoutalways "throwing in your two cents" or taking over the conversation with "yourstory."

This does NOT mean you want to listen to a man go on and on who shows nointerest in you -‐ but understanding that he has a Promoter style will help you notjudge him so harshly. It will help you find a way in to where he feels relaxed andcomfortable enough with you to stop Promoting himself for a moment and find outwho YOU are.

It's a way of creating attraction from the beginning and building trust so that moreof both your personalities can come out.

2. Learn to showmore emotion when you talk.

This is a big one, because women have been taught from childhood that emotion isBAD. That men don't want to hear emotion.

And that's just totally not true. Men can't stand "drama" -‐ but they want toexperience how YOU experienced the movie, the dinner, his touch, sex, a walk.

He doesn't want a description of "just the facts" -‐ hw wants to share in yourexperience -‐ and that's through your emotions.

He may have difficulty reaching and being in touch with his own emotions -‐ andyour ability to feel and show your emotions (especially the upbeat, positive ones,but the angry and sad ones, too...) can help him to OPEN UP!

Apathy -‐ a kind of lack of interest -‐ is something you ALWAYS want to avoid. Andbecause you don't want to be a "fake" woman, showing interest sometimes andsometimes not -‐ you want to ALWAYS -‐ 100% of the time if you can, be curious andinterested in EVERYONE you meet.

You never know when your dreamman might be WATCHING you. He might becomeattracted to you just from seeing you interact with others...so don't ever let "apathy"steal your attractive energy from you.


If you're not feeling great -‐ physically or emotionally -‐ you don't have to be "peppy"and "funny" to create this kind of attraction. No matter how you're feeling, you canalways listen -‐ and most of the time, that's the most powerful thing you can do!

It is easy to get to a man's heart if you radiate the sense that YOU are open to HIM.Don't be afraid to pay attention to him. (This paying attention is very different from"showering" him with attention -‐ which is way too aggressive and actually makesyou less attractive -‐ especially to a Promoter.

Just radiate openness.

3. Don't give too many details to a Promoter. Your constant rambling about theoriesand ideas will make them turn off their minds if they find you boring or cannotrelate to your analyzing style. If you close yourself up too much, the promoter willhave little chances of relating to you and you will ruin your chance for a second date.

How to relate to a Promoter if you are a Controller:

1. Never ever focus too much on the end result of the date.

Learn to loosen up a bit and enjoy the process of dating because promoters lovegoing through the process.

2. If the promoter is talking and you offer your "wisdom" -‐ basically trying to offeryour own idea on the way things should be -‐ you are stealing the limelight awayfrom the promoter. So actually listen to him (no pretending) -‐ and see if he slowsdown, calms down and relaxes right before your eyes.

3. Take your time to understand and relate instead of rushing.

4. If you enjoy the freedom of making the decisions during your date, you can alwaysoffer lots of surprises and excitement.

Promoters respect strength -‐ and really like to know that you know what you likeand want and aren't just doing whatever it takes to please them -‐ but bossiness orpushing will quickly send a Promoter running.

How to relate to a Promoter if you are a Supporter:

Supporters are a good match for promoters.

They enjoy pleasing their friends and the Promoters will dazzle them with theirstories.


However, there's a tendency to let the Promoter walk all over you -‐ and if you give intoo much, you'll develop resentment and it will spoil YOUR idea of a good date.

Promoters also like to move from one exciting place to another so you can easily"spoil their mood" by lacking urgency and being too laid-‐back. This can cause allkinds of friction -‐ and if you don't stand up for yourself and what YOU want -‐ it'seasy to get lost in the shuffle of the Promoter's ideas and plans.

A good relationship can't be based on you "giving in" to your partner all the time.You'll end up feeling frustrated and worn-‐out, and you may be "stuffing" yourresentful feelings so that they come out later, in ways that can truly damage love.

How to relate to a Promoter if you're another Promoter:

It is fun when two Promoters get together and have a raging time together.

However, it might not turn out to be so much fun when one Promoter tries to stealthe limelight from another. It will become a competition of who tells the betterstories or does the more outrageous thing and the date might turn out to become adisaster.

Don't be too quick to jump the gun, jump in with your story, your wants, your needs-‐ your "advice" and opinions. Everyone needs to learn to "breathe" and take a stepback with two Promoters are together. It can be exciting one moment and terribleconflict another. It can be "juicy" and sexy -‐ and it can be draining andargumentative.

Pause, check if everything is ok, or count to 10 if necessary.

Also don't over-‐commit to your date if you're not ready to be serious. There is atendency for Promoters to promise or commit too much just to be in the limelight -‐and then backtracking can be painful for everyone.

Warning Signal

If you're doing something "wrong" when you're with a man who's a Promoter -‐basically something that disturbs him (and not in a good way) -‐ you'll see this sign:

When a Promoter is "set-‐off" -‐ he'll react by talking too much! In other words -‐ he'lltalk even MORE! He'll feel pushed to "get in a word edgewise," to be heard by you,and to gather the attention.

He won't even know he's doing it, or why. It's simply how he initially reacts tofeeling pressured.


Sometimes, if he's seriously disturbed -‐ he may completely withdraw, but morelikely -‐ if you don't "adapt" -‐ he might start throwing what feels like a "tantrum."

If you don't know him well, you might write him off your list quickly -‐ but it's notalways the thing to do. If you know what's going on, and you can slow yourself downand step back so he can regain his sense of "equilibrium," you can not only "save"the situation (and the date or the relationship) -‐ you can get to know him in a deeperway and create even a MORE emotionally intimate relationship.

If your own sense of self-‐esteem isn't high, and you feel very attracted to him, youmight feel like you've done something wrong when he gets upset -‐ and just tryharder!

This is the absolute worst thing you can do!

In order to make a good relationship -‐ there has to be communication. When youlearn and can quickly "get" what style your man is -‐ you'll feel so much moreconfident and won't find yourself in a situation like this. And -‐ if you do -‐ you'll beable to find the quickest, easiest, and most effective way to turn that awkwardmoment around.


How to Date Controllers

A controller’s worst idea of a date:

Hi, darling! It’s so good to see you! Oh, about tonight, don’t worry. You don’t need to doa single thing. I have chosen everything for you. The food I have ordered for our datetonight, it is fixed so you don’t have to decide what you want to order. And our moviefor tonight, oh, you are gonna love it. We are gonna watch ‘The Titanic’ again wherewe can both sit still for HOURS and hold each other’s hands and just contemplate onthe LOVE of the main characters.

Oh, I just love the way their romance blossoms all the way till the tragic end, *sob*, it isjust so touching… thinking about it just makes me wanna cry all over again. Oh,darling, we are so going to enjoy tonight, it’s gonna be so good that we can spend timetogether and I promise that this is going to be the most romantic date ever that wetreasure a lifetime…

A controller’s worst nightmare is not being able to have any control of hissurroundings -‐ and he might develop an almost claustrophobic feeling if you“smother” him. Being “romantic,” or even just sentimental a lot of the time canmake him feel smothered. For him, it’s a combination of your being predictable, andwanting and doing the same thing in the same situations that makes him feelpressured and cornered.

If you are a Supporter:

Being a supporter can work great with a Controller – but it’s so easy to lose yourselfin the process of “deferring” to him constantly that you’ll actually lose his attractionfor you at the same time! Again, “smothering” him with love, affection, attention andsex may seem like an amazing gift – but it just makes a Controller feel pressured andcornered.

It makes him feel like he’s losing the “initiative” – which is crucially important tohim. HE wants to “call the shots.”

A man who’s a Controller is very caught up in “effectiveness.” He wants to get thingsdone quickly and most efficiently. He doesn’t want to dwell on anything, or pickthings apart, or be “lazy” about anything. He’s not a man with “all the time in theworld” – and though that may be something you can “teach” him by example...at thevery beginning, your “tempo” may feel “draggy” to him. This is not to say you needto “speed up” – but just know that when he makes a decision – he doesn’t want to“hang out” about it – he wants to DO it and get it done and ACCOMPLISHED.


A Controller is all about ACHIEVEMENT – so – let him achieve! (Yes, even theprocess of courtship is like a list of achievements to him.) Don’t steal his thunder byDOING things for him, or making arrangements. As a Supporter – your gift to therelationship is your willingness to be the one who “carries things out” – while he’sthe “decision-‐maker.”

After awhile, you may find yourself in a position you don’t like – he always makingdecisions, you always going along. But essentially, that’s what it means to have agreat relationship with a Controller – and as a Supporter – it’s easy for you to get upin not getting your OWN needs met because decisions are always being based onHIS needs.

A GOODman who’s a Controller is a GOOD leader – and that means he ALWAYStakes YOUR needs into consideration when he makes decisions. So it’s yourresponsibility to express what you need and want in a more emotional, personalway.

Instead of offering suggestions or initiating ideas – state things to him from yourown desires – and then allow Him to figure out how to make it happen.

A Controller who doesn’t care about your needs and feelings is not someone youwant to be in a relationship with, so keep that in mind as you’re getting to know him.Throughout your relationship, you will be giving him the freedom and responsibilityof making choices and decisions for you both...so make sure you learn to expresshow you feel so you don’t feel like you’re giving yourself up and just handing you lifeover to him.

Not only will you be miserable – he’ll lose interest in you, because he won’t respectyou.

Though he wants the power and prestige of making decisions – he DOESN’T wantyou to let him “run over you.”

If you are an Analyzer:

As an Analyzer, you likely think things over, think things through – and have aharder time actually making a decision from all your options. A Controller quicklyloses patience with this – and, on top of it – he resents your “second guessing” him,trying figure things out he’s already made a decision about – and just your simplytaking the time to think that he considers to be “a waste.”

At the beginning, he might just be slightly irritated when you question his judgmentwith your analysis of the situation, but after awhile – this can turn into real conflict.


He may feel disrespected by you. He may feel “judged” by you. If you’re alwayscoming up with reasons, and wanting to ‘discuss’ things he sees as “simple” – you’llbe ‘butting heads” all the time.

Learning how to state your preferences and your thinking in everyday situationswith a Controller in a way that complements his style can be a challenge – but if youdo it correctly, it can be a perfect match.

First – time is a consideration. If you take the time in every situation to think thingsthrough and come up with your ideas and thoughts...he may become irritated justbecause he wants to get going and achieve and accomplish and DO – instead of“think” about it.

He doesn’t want to “tear things apart” – he wants to DECIDE.

You may enjoy the Analyzer process of thinking it over, but the Controller is moreconcerned with getting results. The greatest problem you’ll have as an Analyzerdealing with a Controller is that while YOU perceive your mental and organizationalactivity as “busy-‐ness,” and think that it’s productive, HE doesn’t. He sees it asrunning in circles, making a big thing out of a small thing, over-‐thinking – andmostly, if it has to do with something you’re doing together – stealing his “thunder.”

Again, we’re not suggesting you become a “doormat” to a Controller, and “defer” tohim in everything – but essentially, complying with his wishes and plans is what arelationship with him will look like.

The way into a Controller’s heart is to respect his decision-‐making. To respect hisjudgment. Like the Supporter, the key here is in your discovering how to expressyour feelings, wants and desires to him without taking over the decision-‐makingprocess. Your contribution to that decision-‐making process has to come from whatwould feel best for you, what you desire – rather than what you “think.”

The last thing a Controller wants to hear, especially when he first meets you – iswhat you “think.” And, unfortunately, as an Analyzer, “thinking” is what you do best.As you learn to balance your thinking with your feelings – with fun and relaxationand ease and just “letting go” of some decisions and TRUSTING him – you’ll getcloser and closer to him

The way to his heart is for him to start trusting that you’re not going to analyzeeverything he says and everything he does and everything he initiates and decides.And the way to convey that he can trust YOU – is when he feels that you trust HIM.

Once he “gets” that you trust him to make decisions and plans and to initiate thingsyou do together – even romance and sex – he’ll feel in his heart that he can trust you– he’ll start to open up to you emotionally.


So, when a Controller shares an idea with you – try not to offer your “wisdom” andideas and your detailed analysis to counter or support his “proposal.” Don’t alwayscome up with suggestions and ideas to make his “better.” Learn to say “yes” or “no”to his ideas based on how it would feel to you, and to express yourself to him in thatway. Learn to simply listen to his ideas and ask questions if you’re not sure.

Don’t let yourself get gobbled up by his Controlling nature by letting him know howhis ideas fit with what feels good to you, what you like, what you want to do at thatmoment – but learn not to express your needs and desires and experiences in a waythat doesn’t challenge his thoughts and judgments directly.

Spirited conversations can be fun between friends, but they don’t lead to romancewith a Controller. And just allowing him to take charge of the relationship and dowhatever he wants makes you feel terrible and he will soon get bored.

The way to his heart is to trust his decision-‐making style, respect his need to be inauthority and to keep to a certain structure and economy of time and still knowwhat it is that feels right to you, inside. As long as you can feel good following hislead – do it. And when you need for your feelings and concerns to be heard andconsidered – stand by yourself and share them with him.

If you are a Promoter:

As a Promoter you can connect well with a Controller if you’re willing to structureyour time together around tasks that reward with achievement and results. Thatcould mean sporting events, or walks, or activities you can do together that have an“end point” – like seeing a movie. Controllers like being winners in a competitivechallenge. If you are talking with him, Controllers don’t like rambling stories –remember a Controller is all about efficient use of time. If you “try” to entrance himwith all the colorful details – he may ask you to get to the point.

Not only that – he doesn’t want your Promoter exuberance to get in the way of himadding in HIS “wisdom,” advice, and desire to “fix” or “solve” things for you. Be sureto hear him out. Even if you don’t want an opinion, or fixing, or solving – hear him.Let him offer his advice and ideas, and respect them. Thank him. But you don’t haveto always take his direction. This is where you can butt heads – and that won’twork.

What he can hear from you is your own concerns, your own wants and needs, andwhat impels you to feel great about the way YOU’RE doing things for YOU...just don’ttry to promote the relationship!

If you try to create the structure for your time together, if you let your excitementfor your own ideas and plans take precedence over hearing what HE has to say –he’ll close up and you’ll never get deeper with him emotionally than a “business”meeting.


It’s really easy to show off for a Controller, to want to get his approval. And, nomatter what, though he might be flattered that you value his opinion and wisdom,no man wants a woman to be always looking to him for approval. He’s much moreabout “efficiency” to be entranced by the “how” and “why” of your stories.

Instead, he’ll be fascinated by a woman who seems to have her life under controlwith a minimum of fuss, and yet is emotionally open – the one part of him he wisheshe could expand – his emotional openness. The path to his heart almost instantly isto share your feelings and emotions in a simple, direct way – without the completedetail of the stories – but with the full sense of howmuch enjoyment and passionyou feel about your life.

Just remember – a Controller likes to be in control. But that doesn’t mean you wanta man who will walk all over your Promoter dreams. Make sure you don’t makeyourself “small,” or try to package yourself like a baby Controller to be “like” him –that’s not you. Instead – connect with him by listening, by being really present,really there when he’s talking or fixing or solving. Help him trust you and open up toyou by being simple and direct about your needs and concerns, and don’t challengehis opinions and thoughts.

There’s a big difference between making a man ‘wrong” for his decisions andchoices – and simply sharing that your needs, wants, desires and concerns lead youto want something different at that moment. As a Controller, he’ll be so attracted toyou for expressing yourself that way – he’ll quickly get to work trying to make youhappy by figuring out how to make decisions that make you happy!

If you are another Controller:

Controllers might not like being around another Controller. Neither of you mightlike it. Neither of you might like the idea of sharing power.

The last thing in the world you want to do if you’re in this situation is to strugglewith another Controller over who is going to settle the bill, who is going to find thebest driving route to the party, what time or place you should go – or anything else.Because he’s the man and you’re the woman, though, logically, there should be anequal sharing of who gets the “final say” about things...if you like the man and wantto get close to his heart – you’ll have to give up the “pilot’s seat in the relationship tohim.

There’s little chance you’ll “lose yourself” if you allow him to make most of thelogistical decisions that dating and being together are all about – but watch that youdon’t stuff down resentment over it.

You’ll have to make peace with the sharing of power in perhaps a different way thanyou’d like. You’ll have to put down your “decision-‐making” hat and learn to express


your feelings so that he will automatically want to take your needs and feelings intoconsideration with every decision.

When you’re first meeting another Controller – make the decision right away toshare the power in that way – to listen to him, to not argue facts, to not do “businesstalk,” and to just be present and more laid-‐back than you might usually be.

Once he trusts that you won’t always be interrupting him with your own opinionsand ideas, he’ll relax and be more open to what you have to say.

A man who’s a Controller likes being the ‘boss’ so let him!. Also, behind every toughlooking controller is also the need to be appreciated -‐ so try and take some time tolisten to the feelings behind his words.

Warning Signal

When you are doing something a Controller dislikes, his initial reaction to pressureis to become even MORE controlling. You can see it in his face -‐ he wants to takemore control of the situation and it tenses up his features and stiffens his jaw. Youcan hear it in his voice – it becomes more and more edgy. You know you have anunsuccessful date when the Controller turns into a dictator.


How to Date Supporters

A supporter's worst idea of a date:

OK. This is our plan for the date tonight. First, we go to the movies. I have arranged itso that you won't waste time traveling, lining up and hanging around the area. We aremoving fast so once the movie is finish, we will rush to the restaurant where the foodwill be served quickly. Next, we will head over to the bowling center where there is acompetition for teams. Try not to score too low for this one because if we exceed acertain amount of points, they will reward us with a few gifts.

Don't ask why the plans are like this. I have made all the decisions for tonight so let'sget moving now. Oh, don't worry about your parents' curfew, we want to pack as muchas possible into one night so coming home a few minutes late won't offend yourparents, they are too old-fashioned thinking anyway. Who cares if your dad is waitingfor me with a chainsaw??.

Again -‐ you'd never talk like this to a man -‐ but you might think it. You might WANTto talk like this to him, in your own way -‐ and so it's really important to put out anextreme version of what it's like to be a Supporter experiencing this kind of"vibration."

A supporter doesn't like being rushed from one place to another because he usuallyentirely lacks a sense of urgency. He's laid back. He likes to take things slowly. He'salso not used to well-‐structured goals and rigid planning. Your job, if you like a manwho's a Supporter, is to enjoy his wonderful qualities and NOT put him in a situationwhere he might be judged by others who are more action-‐oriented, or where hemight actually offend people in a high-‐stakes environment with his casualness.

If you are a Controller:

Take things SLOW! A Supporter likes to have clear options and take the safest route.Let him feel safe. You WANT him to feel safe -‐ in fact -‐ you want him to be supportiveof YOU! Let him take you places that are comfortable for him -‐ where he can talkwith people, be social, make friends with your friends, and develop yourrelationship.

Your Controller-‐ness will lead you to judge him for his lack of urgency. It might evenshow up in him as a lack of ambition, or a lack of organization or drive -‐ and sinceYOU are driven to control things, you might think of him as "less of a man." You mayhave to completely change your perception of what a man "should be" and startappreciating him for reasons that are different from what you usually appreciate aman for.


You'd think that a Controller-‐Supporter match would be perfect for you! That hewould ENJOY your taking charge and letting him just "be" -‐ but in most cases -‐ you'llfeel frustrated in that situation. No one likes to be in charge all the time -‐ and mostwomen -‐ though they like 'calling the shots" stop respecting a man who lets them.

The only way to make this work is for you to dial back your natural Controllerinstincts and let HIM take charge...even if you end up going nowhere and doingnothing but "hanging out." You might find that kind of peacefulness to be verywonderful, especially if you're a high-‐energy, driven kind of Controller.

No matter what, you'll have to learn to accept him for who he is, and deliberatelystop yourself from finding fault with him. Stop yourself before you criticize himwhen he's moving too slowly or not efficiently enough, or not acting "like a man."

Most of the time, he's not going to be too concerned with getting things done, andhe'll ask the question "Why?" a lot. This might irritate you, because you sense he'sjust putting off accomplishing anything...but, truly it's because your personal goalsaren't necessarily HIS personal goals!

He's going to be sensitive to other people, so you'll start to notice if YOU are aperson who's "short" with other people. If you criticize people (waiters, yourfriends) when you're around him -‐ he's going to quickly be turned off. Being withhim will force you to slow down -‐ and that's a GOOD thing!

If you find yourself being irritated at lost time, and "wasted" opportunities' andevents that don't happen or he isn't interested in -‐ think about what you want and ifthis man can really satisfy your needs. Or -‐ perhaps it's you who would be so muchhappier reframing everything you THINK -‐ and letting this Supporter support you inliving an "easier" life.

He may not want to DO the things you want to "do" -‐ but if he wants to spend timewith you -‐ you could be very happy. It'll be different, and your expectations will haveto change and your words and manner will have to change to make it work...but itcan be good for both of you.

Also, remember that a Supporter is in better touch with his feelings than most men -‐so you'll want to learn to get in touch with your OWN feelings so you can connect onas deep a level as you can with him. If, however, his feelings are mostly about HIM,and what HE'S feeling -‐ if he's feeling hurt or upset -‐ instead of caring about whatYOUR feeling -‐ he may not be a good match for you.


It is fine to talk to Supporters about all kinds of things. They like to listen. But in theprocess, you might neglect a man's feelings and give him the sense you're


disrespecting him because you are too centered on yourself. Do not put him in highpressure or competitive, challenging situations -‐ because what may pump youradrenaline may not be his cup of tea.

He likes relationships that are safe and comfortable -‐ and he's more emotional thanthe other types, so he's more in touch with his feelings about safety and comfort -‐ sodon't let your enthusiasm for your own stories, what's going on in your life, youropinions and ideas and suggestions, overwhelm him.

Everyone loves the friendliness and energy of a Promoter, and yet, in a one-‐to-‐oneromantic relationship -‐-‐ even from the first moment you meet a man -‐-‐ thatfriendliness and energy can impact a man more as a "friend" or "business buddy"than as a woman he wants to ravish and be with for the rest of his life. It might seem"extreme" to him.

Don't mistake a Supporter's different "energy" pattern for the kind of moodiness ordepression you want to avoid. He'll just move a little more slowly than you do andnot want to be as "pro-‐active" as you in areas of life that might be important to you.If you can think of this as a complement to your own energy, you will experience himas FUN!

He likes things to be warm and long lasting, so don't jump from one place to anotherin your conversation -‐ it will make him feel insecure. He won't instinctively want towork hard enough to follow your thoughts -‐-‐ though he might be very interested inyour passion, enthusiasm, and energy. But don't forget -‐-‐ he's a man.

This means he wants to be heard. Even though he might not be as outgoing as youare, he wants to feel respected for his ideas and thoughts, too. Most important of all,be sensitive to his feelings. This takes effort, because we don't normally think of aman as "sensitive" -‐-‐ and even a Supporter man is likely to not show his feelings onthe outside, so it might be hard for you to see what he's actually feeling and what'sgoing on for him.

It's easy to overlook what's going on underneath the surface with a Supporter,because it's easy for him to simply stuff down his true feelings and act casual. Hewon't tell you if he's hurting or uncomfortable. You'll have to notice that from hisbody language and his eyes -‐-‐ he may step back a bit, his eyes may seem lessfocused, and he may talk even less.

It's easy for you -‐-‐ as a Promoter -‐-‐ to just keep on going with what you're talkingabout or doing and just ASSUME that your Supporter man is fine. But actually, hemay just be being "easy-‐going" and, underneath, may be losing his attraction to youbecause he doesn't feel safe and connected to you.

If you are an Analyzer:


To a Supporter, an Analyzer can seem boring. This is not a place you want to bestuck in -‐-‐ especially not in the first moment you meet a man.

You are Supporter would never tell you that he's bored. He's too sensitive to yourfeelings to make you feel bad by criticizing you. But listening to anyone analyze asituation or a movie or a dinner or a friend's relationship is about the leastinteresting thing in the world.

When he's talking to a friend or business partner, he may love discussing somethinghe's particularly passionate about -‐-‐ sports, his business, a hobby -‐-‐ but it's not whathe'll find attractive in you.

He won't be interested in your detailed planning and structure around your datesbecause he himself is not interested in planning. Here's where your desire to "makethings happen" can either be a complement to his personality type or in directconflict.

If you will want to make things happen with him, and want to involve him in yourideas and projects -‐-‐ he might go along just to be "easy," but inside, he may feelpushed around. He may feel rushed. It might simply feel like too much work. He maynot want to listen to your explanations and analysis. But instead of telling youdirectly how he's feeling, he'll just sort of pull away. He'll seem to withdraw. He'lljust look at other things around him and not pay you the kind of attention you want.

When this happens -‐-‐ it might not have anything to do with his feelings for you! Itmay simply be that he's not interested in communicating and the way you areinterested in communicating. So -‐-‐ the best way to be with a Supporter, for you as anAnalyzer, would be to use your analytical and discussion skills with your friends andbusiness partners, and learn to adapt to an "easier" way of being with him.

The best way to date a supporter is to showmore empathy for what he's feelingrather than giving a systematic approach to solving problems. In fact, stay as faraway from problem solving as you can. Being in your "head" and continuallyworking things out, figuring things out, and solving problems will completely blockany emotional connection you could be making with a man -‐-‐ especially a Supporterman.

Even if you are smarter than he is (especially if you're smarter than he is) -‐-‐ don'ttry to give advice. You'll come off to a Supporter as a "know-‐it-‐all." You'll appear tohim to be aloof or stuffy -‐-‐and a supporter man doesn't respond well to that. Hemight be "intrigued" for a moment -‐ but he won't be able to connect with you in aphysical, emotional, "energetic" way, and will quickly lose interest and attraction.

Though Supporters tend to trust more easily than other types -‐ and to give youmuch more leeway in all directions because they're not about trying to "control" or"impress" you -‐ as an Analyzer, your tendency is to NOT trust.


So it's really important that you accept him exactly as he is and not try to "change"him with small suggestions, "innocent" remarks, and intellectual guidance. Thoughhe may be as interested in a certain topic as you are -‐ he'll be very uninterested inyour intellectual thought process around it. The last thing you want is to appear tobe "showing him up" with how smart or clever you are. A Supporter needs to feelsecure, but doesn't (like every man) want to be "coddled" or "led along" in adiscussion

If you are another Supporter:

This is easy -‐ you both can do a good job making each other feel comfortable.Unfortunately, one of you must be assertive enough to make the decisions or elseboth of you will be slow and obliging and deferring, and might even get into difficultsituations because of inaction (such as being late for a movie).

The way to win over another Supporter who's a MAN is to just follow his lead -‐ evenif he doesn't lead anywhere! And at the same time -‐ let your wants and wishes beknown CLEARLY when he asks you what you want to do, or what you think aboutsomething.

If he's a truly "passive" man who can't make decisions at all, or put any kind of planstogether -‐ he might not be what you want. Trying to turn this kind of man into anaction-‐oriented, decision-‐making, typical "man" will be a losing battle -‐ don't evenstart. But -‐ if YOU'RE comfortable taking over the decision-‐making and problem-‐solving and thinking of things through -‐ it might work (but it likely won't be muchfun for YOU).

As a Supporter, you're likely to feel even more "easy-‐going" than he is -‐ so it's reallyimportant for you to assert yourself when you have a strong feeling aboutsomething. Appreciating him for who he is -‐ and letting him KNOW howmuch youappreciate him goes a long way with a Supporter (you already know that...).

Warning Signal

If you do something that disturbs -‐-‐ on a gut level -‐-‐ a man who's a Supporter, itmight be difficult to tell. He won't give you easy-‐to-‐read signals because his instinctis to "give in to you" first. Then, he might simply lose a feeling of attraction and backaway -‐ physically, verbally and emotionally. If you put even more pressure on himwhen he starts to withdraw (try to "bring him out") he'll back away even more.

Your Supporter might respond this way: He'll back away emotionally when he feelspressured and overwhelmed by what you're doing or saying (or even just the "vibe"you're putting out), but still leave an "easy-‐going" smile on his face and keep sayingthat everything is "all right" (even when it isn't). If you're just meeting him for thefirst time, he may keep on talking to you because he doesn't want to "hurt your


feelings," but not ask for your phone number or email or just never call for a seconddate. Or...

If the pressure persists, and he's already backed off a bit he might "pout" and Sulk -‐letting his discontent brew deep within his heart -‐ shutting you out.

If you can learn to become aware of what's going on with this Supporter man whenhe's stressed -‐ by sensing discontent and disturbance in his eyes, his body languageand even his voice -‐ you can turn moments like these around quickly.


How to date Analyzers

An Analyzer's worst idea of a date:

Hey! How's it going, baby! Yo! Tonight is going to be a blast! We are heading to thehottest club in town tonight where there will be loud music, excitement, and a chanceto let your hair down and partaaayyyyyyy! There's gonna be so many people theretonight. Man, I can't wait to go wild and jump on the table and take off my top andswing it all around in front of the crowd. Dude, there's gonna be games there wherethey'll put you up on stage and everyone will be looking at you do the craziest stunts.Man, what Can be better than tonight, huh?

It's not that Analyzers are boring people, but it is very clear that they have littledesire for unwanted attention. The worst thing you can do to an Analyzer is put himin a situation where he can lose face!


You can kill a date or a first meeting with an Analyzer by giving him too muchattention. He's likely shy and WAY less outgoing than you are -‐ so it's easy for you toaccidentally put him in a situation where he has to talk to a lot of strangers, or be thecenter of attention just because he's with you!

Loud music and excitement are okay -‐-‐ he can get lost in the shuffle of people andsound -‐-‐ but just keep the attention away from him, and even allow him to wallow inhis own little corner once in a while. He needs the space to think about what's goingon around him and to analyze the situation.

An Analyzer who's a man won't much like unpredictable events -‐-‐ so be sure to givehim the full details about what to expect if you're going to a family event, or out withfriends, or to a place you love that he's never been to.

If you are a Controller:

Don't pressure him into making quick decisions. He'll much prefer situations withlimited pressure and unlimited time to make his decisions -‐-‐ as well as to considerescape routes and safe alternatives. Let him think things through.

He's likely to ask you questions to get information to help him make his decisions(he's a problem solver, and that requires "research" -‐ and you are the source of thatinformation). So be prepared for a barrage of questions -‐ he gets a sense of solidityand focus and security by understanding the technical aspects to all things. Evenrelationships.


An Analyzer can easily be made to feel embarrassed, and your Controller aspects,unfortunately, are uniquely geared to put him into this situation. You'reautomatically judgmental about how things are done (and usually want them doneyourway) -‐ and so you have to suspend that in romance with nearly any man, butespecially with an Analyzer.

He will not be a naturally aggressive man. Perhaps not even naturally assertive -‐ buthis skill at finding the ins-‐and-‐outs of things, and his love of solving problems can bea real bonus for you by taking all that part of decision-‐making off your shoulders. Ifyou can learn to respect his "process," an Analyzer can be a perfect complement foryou -‐ doing the research so you can feel more in command of your surroundings andwhat's happening.

Even better -‐ if he's willing to do the 'thinking" when you meet, and all through yourrelationship -‐ it gives you a constant opportunity to relax and allow him to take thelead. It allows you to allow yourself to feel instead of think -‐ and that's the ultimateattraction for a man: A woman who can relax and feel.

He likes to do things at his own pace. So, to get into the heart of an Analyzer, takeinterest (you can learn to appreciate and take real, genuine INTEREST) in what hisfield of specialization is. Ask him to elaborate for you, and learn to relate to histheories and ideas -‐ you'll have a great man for life.

If you are a Supporter:

Take time to digest the things Analyzers are saying. As a Supporter, you likely don'tenjoy "thinking" about things too much -‐ but if you take the time to hear what he'ssaying, and ask him the right questions, he'll be very happy to be around you ratherthan just nodding his head and going..."Uh huh, yeah, uh ok..., yup..."

It's really easy to disregard an Analyzer's planning and well-‐structured schedules. Itseems way too regimented and forced to a Supporter...but it's the way he feels bestwith HIS personal style. He's likely scheduled in a lot of time to do the things he hasscheduled -‐ because he often judges himself and his "productivity" by his "busy-‐ess.He needs all that time to think things through as he goes along -‐ so learn to enjoyjust "tagging along" with his process. This way -‐ he'll be more able to enjoy YOU andYOUR process!

If you are another Analyzer:

Learn about the field of expertise of the man you're with. If it's the first time you'remeeting him -‐ accidentally at a coffee shop, or at a party -‐ you'll naturally showinterest because that's what most of us do when we're first meeting people. Butyou'd be surprised, too, how nerves get in the way of just listening to someone andbeing curious about them.


Even if you have a strong instinct to talk about, think about, tear apart, discuss andanalyze what the man in front of you is saying -‐ hold off and, instead -‐ give him achance to get his thoughts out. Learn to actually BE interested in his point of view,instead of chomping at the bit to offer your own opinions, thoughts and ideas.

If the both of you have things in common, that's great, and you'll get along just fine.But if you are not interested in what he has to say, see if you can get curious abouthim by doing some research about it. Interest is developed as you knowmore andmore about him, and more about his topic of interest.

As you knowmore, you can relate more and connect with his heart on a deeper levelthan just "pretending" to be interested because you're attracted to him.

Warning Signal

An Analyzer's warning signal is very easy to spot. He'll fall completely silent. Ifyou're an Analyzer -‐ you know that feeling. If the pressure persists, the Analyzer willenter a state of withdrawal and block himself from you emotionally for the rest ofthe evening.

If this happens a lot in the beginning of a relationship -‐ it won't work...so be on thelookout for signs that he's feeling pressured to be other than he actually is.


Being Everything to Everyone!

Of course we can't be everything to everyone. We must also be ourselves or elsewe'll come across as fake or unnatural. Dating, love, relationship, romance -‐ it's allsupposed to be fun and fulfilling!

Remember that there are always different degrees of the Four Quadrants and thereare Men who might fall somewhere in the middle of 2 or all 4 of them.

Once you've learned to communicate well with ALL of the Four Quadrants, andknow yourself -‐ your own styles, your needs, how you react when you feel good orwhen you feel uncomfortable -‐ meeting men everywhere, dating them, beingromanced by them and getting involved in deep relationships and then a lifelongmarriage with one great man will be as easy, fun and fulfilling as you dream it willbe.


LEGAL NOTICE

The Publisher has strived to be as accurate and complete as possible in the creationof this report, notwithstanding the fact that he does not warrant or represent at anytime that the contents within are accurate due to the rapidly changing nature of theInternet. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in thispublication, the Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors, omissions, orcontrary interpretation of the subject matter herein. Any perceived slights ofspecific persons, peoples, or organizations are unintentional.

In practical advice books, like anything else in life, there are no guarantees ofincome made. Readers are cautioned to reply on their own judgment about theirindividual circumstances to act accordingly.

This book is not intended for use as a source of legal, business, accounting orfinancial advice. All readers are advised to seek services of competent professionalsin legal, business, accounting, and finance field.

You are encouraged to print this book for easy reading.

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