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Learn BetterGame Writing

In a Day

Evan SkolnickProducer and Editorial Director

Vicarious Visions

[email protected]

All characters and works in this presentation aretrademarks of and/or copyrighted by their respective

owners.

Except where noted, they are used without permission

for educational purposes only, under the Fair Use

provision of the United States Copyright Act.


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Tutorial Overview What This Tutorial Is About

Overview of fiction writing as it applies to most gamewriting situations

80% general fiction writing theory Story structure and plotting

Characters and characterization

Dialogue writing

Editing

20% video game application

Whom This Tutorial Is For

Game designers unfamiliar/uncomfortable with fiction

writing

Game designers with limited writing experience who wantto improve their craft

Aspiring or beginning game writers

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Tutorial Overview What This Tutorial Is Not About

A debate on or vision of the future of video game narrative

Advanced fiction writing techniques

A planning session for how to make players actually crylike they do in the movies

Whom This Tutorial Is Not For

Professional writers who want to work in the gamesindustry

Game designers who consider themselves professional-level writers

Holders of Creative Writing degrees

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Tutorial Overview

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Tutorial Overview Introductions

Getting Over Yourself! The Game Writers Role

General Theories of Story

Three-Act Structure

Monomyth

Dramatica

Storytelling Rules and Tools

Exposition

Believability

Impact

Characters and Characterization

Focus on Hero and Villain

Character Arcs

Dialogue

Dialogues Main Function Elements of Dialogue

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Getting Over Yourself

Youre not the next Hemingway

Write tight, effective, serviceable story content Attempting anything beyond that is a distraction

and a disservice

Gameplay is king Story should always support it, never supplant it

IntroIntro

Getting OverYourself


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Amount of Story

How much story does your game actually need?

Chart adapted from Andrew Rollings and Ernest Adamson Game Design, Rollings & Adams, 2003

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Amount of Story

Opening Cutscene(s) How much is enough?

Example 1: Grand Theft Auto III

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Total required viewing time: 2:55

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Opening Cutscene(s) How much is too much?Intro



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Opening Cutscene(s)

Example 2: Grand Theft Auto IVIntro



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Amount of Story

Opening Cutscene(s)

Example 2: Grand Theft Auto IVIntro




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Amount of Story

Opening Cutscene(s)

Example 3: Left 4 DeadIntro



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Opening Cutscene(s)

Example 3: Left 4 DeadIntro




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Amount of Story

Opening Cutscene(s) How much is too much?

Example 2: Metal Gear Solid 2

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Theories of Story

Three-Act Structure

Aristotle, Syd Field

Monomyth (Heros Journey) Joseph Campbell, Christopher Vogler

Dramatica Theory plus software-based checking tool

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Three-Act Structure

First described by Aristotle in Poetics

Posits that all stories share a

common underlying core structure

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Three-Act Structure

Beginning Setup

Middle Confrontation

End Resolution

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Three-Act Structure

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Three-Act Structure

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Three-Act Structure

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Three-Act Structure

Syd Field et al. expansions on Three-Act Structure Act 1

Opening Image

Inciting Incident

Turning Point 1

Act 2a

Pinch 1 Midpoint

Act 2b

Pinch 2

Turning Point 2

Act 3

Showdown

Resolution

Tag

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Three-Act Structure

Beginning Setup

Middle Confrontation

End Resolution

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Three-Act Structure

Still applies to nearly all successful

fictional stories today

Universal, and therefore almostoverly simplistic

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Monomyth

First described by Joseph Campbell in The Hero

With a Thousand Faces(1949)

Partially based on work of psychologist Carl Jung

and his concept of archetypes

Refined and elaborated on by Christopher Vogler

in The Writers Journey(1992)

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Monomyth

Like Three-Act Structure, posits that all successful

stories share common structure

Suggests also that these stories share common

character types... archetypes

Archetypes represent various aspects of human

personality, personified

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Monomyth Archetypes

Each archetype is a character or energy

embodied by multiple characters

Together, they represent a complete human

psychological profile

By meeting and learning from the various

archetypical characters, the Hero learns andborrows along the way, becoming a stronger,

more complete person

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Monomyth Archetypes

Hero

Mentor Threshold Guardian (Henchman)

Herald

Shapeshifter

Shadow (Villain)

Trickster

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Monomyth Archetypes

Hero

Dramatic Functions Audience Identification

Growth

Usually character who grows or changes most

Action Sacrifice

Risk

Gaming Equivalent: Player

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Monomyth Archetypes

Mentor

Dramatic Functions Teaching

Gift-giving

Motivation

Conscience

Gaming Equivalent: UI or a character

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Monomyth Archetypes

Threshold Guardian (Henchman)

Dramatic Function Testing

Gaming Equivalent: Generic enemies, Sub-Bosses

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Monomyth Archetypes

Herald

Dramatic Functions Announce the Conflict (or its potential)

Motivation

Offer Hero the Challenge

Gaming Equivalent: Marketing

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Monomyth Archetypes

Shapeshifter

Dramatic Functions Sow suspicion and doubt

Gaming Equivalent: Executive Producers

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Monomyth Archetypes

Shadow (Villain)

Dramatic Functions Challenge the Hero

Gaming Equivalent: Final Boss

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Monomyth Archetypes

Trickster

Dramatic Functions Comic relief

Gaming Equivalent: Sidekick (e.g. Daxter)

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Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World

Depiction of the heros normal world Possibly idyllic

More likely unbalanced but livable

Gaming Equivalent: Often first few seconds of the opening cutscene

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Monomyth Structure

2. Call to Adventure

First indication that trouble is brewing Problem presented to Hero

Hero can no longer stay in comfort of Ordinary World

Gaming Equivalent: Often first middle part of the opening cutscene

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Monomyth Structure

3. Refusal of the Call

Hero initially refuses to confront the problem

Gaming Equivalent: Rarely seen in video games, for brevitys sake

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Monomyth Structure

4. Meeting with the Mentor

Mentor provides motivation, gifts and encouragement

Gaming Equivalent: Superior officers, Narrators or other characters designed

to provide player with briefings and objectives

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Monomyth Structure

5. Crossing the First Threshold

Hero fully commits to the adventure Enters the Special World

No turning back

Gaming Equivalent: First or early gameplay level

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Monomyth Structure

6. Tests, Allies, Enemies

Series of sub-adventures related to the overall conflict Challenges increase in drama and stakes

Gaming Equivalent: Levels!

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Monomyth Structure

7. Approach to the Inmost Cave

Danger-filled approach to site of final conflict

Gaming Equivalent:

Late levels

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Monomyth Structure

8. The Supreme Ordeal

In the belly of the beast Death faced

Gaming Equivalent:

Levels and/or cutscenes leading to a false final bossbattle

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Monomyth Structure

9. Reward

Hero survives Supreme Ordeal and seizes the sword Reward received for victory

Gaming Equivalent: Cutscene following false final boss battle

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Monomyth Structure

10. The Road Back

Hero tries to return to Ordinary World with the Reward,but dark forces are in pursuit

Gaming Equivalent: Late levels or a cutscene following a false final boss

battle

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Monomyth Structure

11. Resurrection

Hero (or heros main goal) seemingly dies butsomehow survives

Transformed by the experience

Gains final victory

Gaming Equivalent:

Final boss battle

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Monomyth Structure

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Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World Lukes life on Tatooine as a farmboy

2. Call to Adventure Leias message on R2-D2

3. Refusal of the Call Luke refuses Bens request to accompany him toAlderaan

4. Meeting the Mentor Luke meets Obi-Wan Kenobi; is given lightsaber

5. Crossing the First Threshold Lukes foster parents killed; he commits

to fighting the Empire6. Tests, Allies, Enemies Blasting out of Mos Eisley, getting to know Han

& Chewbacca

7. Approach to the Inmost Cave Sucked into the Death Star

8. Supreme Ordeal Rescue of Princess Leia

9. Reward Escape with Princess Leia and the plans

10. The Road Back Defeating TIE fighters and preparing for assault on

Death Star

11. Resurrection Lukes X-Wing about to be destroyed by Darth Vader

12. Return with the Elixir Luke returns to hangar; closing honorceremonies

Example: Star Wars

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Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World Neo squeaking by as a corporate drone

2. Call to Adventure The cell phone call

3. Refusal of the Call Neo chickens out on the ledge4. Meeting the Mentor Neo meets Morpheus

5. Crossing the First Threshold Neo takes the red pill, is detached from

the Matrix and rescued by the rebels

6. Tests, Allies, Enemies Training with Morpheus, first excursion backinto Matrix, meeting with Oracle, first battle with Agent Smith

7. Approach to the Inmost Cave Invasion against Agents HQ

8. Supreme Ordeal Rescue of Morpheus

9. Reward Escape with Morpheus

10. The Road Back Final battle with Agent Smith

11. Resurrection Neo shot, seems dead, but comes back

12. Return with the Elixir Neo masters his powers and obliterates

enemies; ready to continue fight against the AI

Example: The Matrix

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Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World A typical day for Pee-Wee

2. Call to Adventure Pee-Wees bike is stolen!

3. Refusal of the Call Pee Wee passes out (questionable)4. Meeting the Mentor Pee-Wee meets with police, Dotty and the Palm Reader

5. Crossing the First Threshold Pee-Wee sets off for Texas

6. Tests, Allies, Enemies Mickey the escaped convict, Large Marge, Simone, Andy,

bucking bronco, biker gang

7. Approach to the Inmost Cave Pee-Wee sneaks onto Paramount Studios lot to gethis bike

8. Supreme Ordeal Pee-Wee poses as actress playing a nun and must stare at his

bike without revealing himself

9. Reward Pee-Wee grabs his bike and pedals for it

10. The Road Back Pee-Wee chased by rent-a-cops on the Paramount lot; he stopsto save animals in burning pet store, passes out from fright and is captured by

police

11. Resurrection Charges are dropped and Pee-Wees story is bought by Paramount

and turned into a major motion picture

12. Return with the Elixir Pee-Wee and everyone he met during his journey attendthe movies world premiere

Example: Pee-Wees Big Adventure

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Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World Young Simba growing up within the pride; father is killed and

uncle takes over; he is exiled but grows up in a new, if unbalanced, Ordinary World

(with Timon and Pumbaa)

2. Call to Adventure Nala runs across Simba while hunting and urges him to return

to Pride Rock to depose Scar

3. Refusal of the Call Simba refuses, mainly due to his erroneous belief he was

responsible for his fathers death

4. Meeting the Mentor Simba is visited by Rafiki and the ghost of Mufasa

5. Crossing the First Threshold Simba sets off for Pride Rock

6. Tests, Allies, Enemies Timon, Pumbaa and Nala join Simba and devise a plan of

attack

7. Approach to the Inmost Cave Simba literally approaches a cave here; Pride Rock

8. Supreme Ordeal Simba verbally confronts Scar

9. Reward Scar seems to acquiesce...

10. The Road Back Scar turns on Simba, hyenas attack; Scar gets Simba hanging

over the abyss

11. Resurrection Simba somehow escapes falling and Scar is killed by hyenas

12. Return with the Elixir Simba emerges as new lion king; produces an heir,

continuing circle of life

Example: The Lion King

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Monomyth Structure

1. Ordinary World Jules lives his life as an enforcer for Marsellus Wallace

2. Call to Adventure Jules life seems miraculously spared during a routine

shakedown

3. Refusal of the Call N/A (Vincent fulfills this role)

4. Meeting the Mentor N/A (Jules mentor is his vague knowledge of the Bible)

5. Crossing the First Threshold Jules tells Vincent he plans to change his life

6. Tests, Allies, Enemies Vincent accidentally shoots Marvin in the car; Jimmie and

the Wolf assist in clean-up7. Approach to the Inmost Cave Jules and Vincent go to diner before returning

briefcase to Marsellus

8. Supreme Ordeal Diner is robbed and Jules refuses to give up the briefcase;

Jules is able to turn tables on robber

9. Reward Jules shows restraint in not killing robber10. The Road Back Vincent returns and threatens to escalate situation, resulting in

multiple deaths

11. Resurrection Jules talks everyone down and resolves situation non-violently

12. Return with the Elixir Jules leaves the diner as a confirmed practioner of what he

now preaches

Example: Pulp Fiction

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Monomyth

The monomyth represents a pattern seen in

many, many stories, but...

Dont follow it slavishly!

Use as a general guide only take from it what

you can use

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Dramatica

First developed in 1996 by Melanie Anne Phillips

and Chris Huntley

Builds on Three-Act Structure and Monomyth

theories

Comes with software checking tool to aid in

writing analysis, billed as The Ultimate WritingPartner

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Dramatica

Main concept: The Story Mind

Every complete story is a model of the minds problem-

solving process

To fully explore an issue, author has to examine all

possible solutions to the problem Make an argument to prove to an audience that authors

way is best

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Dramatica

Concepts and software best utilized by

intermediate to advanced writers

Can feel restrictive and in some cases, forced

May have limited application to game story

development

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Story Common Themes

Beginning, Middle, End

(Setup, Confrontation, Resolution)

Conflict-driven plot

Into trouble, back out of trouble

Main character action, change and growth

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Rules & Tools

Exposition

Show, dont tell

Seeding, planting and foreshadowing Believability

Removing/masking/downplaying coincidences and

contrivances

Avoiding deus ex machina

Internal world consistency

Character consistency

Impact

Setting appropriate scope of conflict

The element of surprise

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Exposition Show, Dont Tell

Exposition Dialogue!

Talk is cheap

Think of how your voting process works do you base iton words, or actions?

Show, dont tell

The villain is evil? Show him being evil The hero is brave? Show her being brave

The weapon is dangerous? Show it being dangerous

That lady is forgetful? Show her being forgetful

Etc.

Whenever telling the audience something, ask

yourself if you could be showing it instead

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Exposition Seeding

Exposition is something you seed throughout the

story

Not all dumped on the audience at the beginning

A beginning is a very delicate time.

Frank Herbert, Dune

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Exposition Seeding

In games, first cutscene is often the longest

Writer struggles to establish world, characters and

conflict all at once

Common area of overwriting

Generally the viewer needs much less exposition

at the outset than youd think

Focus on providing only need to know info,

especially up front

Providing barely enoughinformation can actuallyincrease drama and viewer interest

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Exposition Seeding

Plot Exposition:

Its OK to delay Focus on Need to Know

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Exposition Planting

If seeding is like spreading seed evenly to

grow a lawn...

Planting is choosing a spot for a shrub,

and placing it right there, for a reason

It grows slowly and provides its benefitmuch later in the story

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Exposition Planting

Chekhovs Law

If Act One opens by mentioning a shotgun

hanging over the mantel, that gun must be

fired by the end of the story.

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Exposition Planting

If you plant it, it must grow

In fiction writing, planning ahead is key

This is why most writers create the

opening of their stories last

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Exposition Planting

Planting is establishing something specific that will

be important later in the story

A machine or gadget

Knowledge or expertise

A skill, gift or power

An object or items properties

It is often established in as innocuous a way as

possible, so that later on it:

Does not telegraph whats to come Is half-forgotten later and so still surprises the

audience

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Exposition Planting

Memorable movie plants

James Bonds weapons, vehicles andgadgets (planted by Q)

RoboCops interface spike

Woodys matchstick in Toy Story Hannibal Lecters paper clip

Buds wedding ring in The Abyss

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Exposition Planting

Planting opportunities in games

Show item in cutscene that player later canfind/acquire

Establish characters ability in gameplay that

affects outcome of a cutscene Establish enemys ability in cutscene that

player must contend with in gameplay

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Exposition Foreshadowing

Related to planting but wider focus

Hints at what may come ahead Like planting, can lay the groundwork and

increase believability

Often delivered as warnings, theories,

images, dreams, feelings

Usually delivered subtly as possible toavoid complete telegraphing

Often only make sense or seem relevant

later

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Memorable movie foreshadowing

RoboCops secret fourth directive Doc Browns warnings to Marty McFly about

his actions possibly impacting the future

Incredi-Boy sequence in The Incredibles Sam Lowrys dream sequences in Brazil

Rexs Have you been replaced? line in Toy

Story T-1000 staring oddly at silver mannequin in

shopping mall, in T2

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Foreshadowing usage in games

Dialogue or imagery in cutsceneforeshadows whats coming next in

gameplay, or vice versa

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Believability Coincidences

Coincidences hurt your storys credibility and

believability

Many story coincidences are due to the writer

trying to solve other problems Ex. heros love interest is the one who gets kidnapped

Ex. hero must be resurrected in Act 3 and sosomeone/something comes out of left field to do so

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Two different types

Seemingly small coincidences or

contrivances that ultimately have huge and

necessary story impact (way-homer)

Ex. Star Wars(droid blows up)

Ex. Star Wars(Leia and the battle plans)

Blatant, giant coincidences at which the

audience immediately rolls its eyes (deus ex

machina) Ex. Jurassic Parkmovie version (climax resolution)

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Three tactics to deal with coincidences

Change plot Retrofit

Mask or downplay

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Change plot to remove coincidence

Can something different happen here thatflows more organically?

Can the characters actions, position,

relationships or role help justify/causesituation?

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Retrofit

While retaining the action, can you do whatis necessary to make this no longer a

coincidence?

Planting

Foreshadowing

Establishing

Linking

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Mask or downplay the coincidence

Will people really notice this coincidence atthe time if it is glossed over?

Can you distract audience with something

else during coincidence? Can you get away with it as is? Is it a way-

homer?

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Believability Consistency

Story and all elements within it must be

internally consistent World (physics, technology, etc.)

Characters

Any changes to the established normmust be explained or otherwise set up

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World Consistency

Rules of the world are established Physics

Technology

Audience expects realism (whereappropriate) and consistency

Ex. Independence Day

Ex. Roger Rabbitand toon physics

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World Consistency

In games, this is taken a step further Actions and abilities seen in cutscenes must

be consistent with gameplay

A character in a cutscene with abilities they cantexhibit in gameplay will cause player frustration

A character in a cutscene without abilities that do

exist in gameplay will cause player derision

Gameplay abilities, physics, etc. expected toremain internally consistent

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Character Consistency

Character motivations and actions mustremain consistent within story

Exception: character growth which has been

properly established

In games, character motivations and actions

must also be consistent between: Cutscenes

Mission objectives In-game abilities

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Rules & Tools Impact

Scope of conflict

Element of surprise

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Impact Scope of Conflict


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Scope of conflict

What is at stake? Too easy to make this overly large

The USA

All life on Earth Our galaxy

The entire universe

Any conflict can feel huge if it means a lot to

a sympathetic character

Ex. Fatal Attraction

Make scope of conflict only as large as it

needs to be

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Good game examples

Grand Theft Autoseries (one thugs criminalcareer)

Sly Cooper(family birthright)

Diner Dash(keeping ones job) Mr. Mosquito(keeping a mosquito fed)

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Impact Surprise

Best stories regularly surprise audience

Best games regularly surprise players Avoid a plodding series of missions that

lead to a long-expected showdown

Audiences are well-versed in story

Able to anticipate even more than youd

expect

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Impact Surprise

Plot twists

Vital to maintaining interest Easy to do badly, unless properly set up

(can also feel like deus ex machina)

In a game, poorly set up plot twist can feelunfair to player

Seed subtle exposition that increases

believability of your twists Include red herrings to throw clever viewers

off the path

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Characters Overview

Most important characters

Hero Villain

Creating non-generic characters

Character arcs

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Characters

Characters Hero


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Characters Hero

Hero starts in a stable if not balanced state

Often: Wrong career

Wrong position

Divorced

Single/lonely

In a rut

Trapped

Underachieving

Otherwise incomplete/unfulfilled

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Characters Hero

Hero starts in a stable if not balanced state

Often: Wrong career Changes to right career

Wrong position Changes to right position

Divorced Reunites with ex, or finds someone new

Single/lonely Finds true love

In a rut Gets out of rut

Trapped Breaks free

Underachieving - Overachieves

Otherwise incomplete/unfulfilled Becomes

complete and fulfilled

Intro

Getting Over

Yourself

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Characters Hero

Hero changes/grows the most

In well-constructed story, this is its mostdramatic aspect

Can be difficult to establish in a game story

Can be almost impossible to accomplish in alicensed game story

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Getting Over

Yourself

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Characters Hero

Stakes of conflict must be intensely

personal to Hero Not enough to save world must save

someone with emotional bond

Otherwise audience indifference will result Superman 1 and 2

Spider-Man 1 and 2

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Yourself

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Characters Hero


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Characters Hero

Being the Hero must include:

Risk Sacrifice

Reward

In stories, these can be physical oremotional elements

In games, they are most likely physical

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Yourself

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Characters Hero


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Characters Hero

Hero must be active driver of the story

Decision Action

Hero must not be forced or have no

choice Hero must actively and directly resolve

conflict

No deus ex machina

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Yourself

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Characters Villain


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Characters Villain

Villain is the source of the main conflict

Must be more than a match for Hero Viable threat

Shown, not told

Cannot be approached without getting pasthenchmen

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Yourself

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Characters Villain

Doesnt consider himself a Villain

Thinks hes right Is the Hero in his version of the story

Has clear, believable motivation

Can be understood/appreciated by audienceat some level

No black and white; shades of gray

Answer to whys he doing that? cannot bebecause hes evil.

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Characters Villain

May or may not grow/change

Must be directly confronted by Hero Otherwise resolution is unsatisfying

Memorable exception: Star Trek II

Kirk and Khan never physically meet

Final boss battle!

In non-adventure stories, villain may be:

Boss, supervisor or work rival

Heros own destructive personality

Nature/The World

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Characters Arcs

Character arc

Each significant character has his own arc,with:

Its own conflict

Its own three-act structure (beginning, middle, end)

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Characters Arcs

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Characters Arcs

Movie Example: Star Trek II

Kirk (Hero)

1. Feels old

2. Gets back in action, defeats Khan

3. Feels young

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Characters Arcs


Spock (Mentor/Hero)

1. Tasked with training next generation on his

ship2. Sees ship is going to be destroyed

3. Sacrifices himself to save them

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Characters Arcs


McCoy (Mentor/Trickster)

1. Friend (Kirk) feels old

2. Tries to advise/help

3. Friend feels young

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Characters Arcs


Saavik (N/A)

1. Inexperienced, prickly and overly literal

2. Learns from Kirk and Spock

3. Becomes more seasoned, balanced and

flexible

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Characters Arcs


Terrell (Shapeshifter)

1. Captured/brainwashed by Khan

2. Fights the influence

3. Overcomes influence and commits suicide

before murdering Kirk

Intro

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Characters Arcs


Chekov (Shapeshifter)

1. Captured/brainwashed by Khan

2. Fights the influence

3. Overcomes influence and returns to duty

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Characters Arcs


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Characters Arcs


David Marcus (N/A)

1. Hates Starfleet (including Kirk)

2. Meets Kirk, does not get along with him,discovers Kirk is his father

3. Grows to understand Kirk and be proud to

be his son

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Yourself

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Dialogue


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Dialogue

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Dialogue

Dialogues Main Function


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Dialogue s Main Function

Exposition

Plot

Character

Emotion

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Exposition Plot


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Exposition Plot

Dialogue is a tool the writer can use to provide

plot exposition, but...

Always better to show than tell

Its possible to convey a complete story with no

dialogue at all

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Exposition Plot

If art/animation is already providing adequate plot

information, dont duplicate that effort

Instead, use dialogue to support the ancillary functions: Character

Emotion

Humor

However, when necessary, youll need to convey plot

exposition via dialogue

Dont explain what is obvious or irrelevant

Try to subtly weave exposition into your dialogue

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Exposition Character

What your characters docan drive

plot and character exposition What your characters sayoften

drives plot exposition

Howyour characters say it drives

character exposition

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Yourself

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Dialogue

Character Voice


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C a ac e o ce

Each important character must have a unique

voice

Affected by: Intelligence

Vocabulary

Ethnicity/Accent

Economic Background

General attitude toward life

Specific attitude toward the recipient

Can change depending on:

Current situation

Current emotional state

Current goals

A change due to character growth or new information

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In all cases, characters voices should

differentiate them from each other

A line that could be spoken by any character

could probably be improved

(Or your characters may just be too bland)

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Finding each characters voice Licensed characters: research

Find out everything you can about the character Read the prior dialogue

Transcribe if necessary

Note sentence structure, dialect, etc.

Write, then read out loud (or out loud in head)

Check for authenticity vs. established character voice

Original characters: over-develop

Create detailed background upon which to draw

Intro

Getting Over

Yourself

Theoriesof Story

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Dialogue

Character Voice


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Some things to know about your original characters Where was I born?

How old am I?

Where did I grow up?

Whats my educational background?

Do I have an accent?

Do I have a speech impediment?

Do I have any pet phrases?

What do I do for a living?

What are my hobbies?

What do I love?

What do I hate?

Am I personality type A, B, or C?

Am I married? Have I ever been? How do I feel about the other characters in this story?

Who is my best friend and why?

Who is my worst enemy and why?

What makes me special and unique?

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Exposition Emotion


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p

Emotion mainly conveyed through character

action

Again, show dont tell

Dialogue usually reinforcesemotional states

Emotion increases stakes and adds weight to

gameplay situations Resolution of conflicts must personally matterto theplayable characters to add weight

Direct investment in the outcome of the overall conflict

Pepper sub-conflicts which tie into main conflict

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Exposition Emotion


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pA simple turn of phrase can move the characters emotional

state all over the placeIntro

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p

APARTMENT, DAY. JANET, a 35-year-old woman, slumps in her chair

at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette. She glances at theCLOCK on the wall, then takes another drag, looking unhappy.

The front door opens and BRAD enters carrying a brown paper bag.

JANET looks up.

JANET

Im not happy, Brad. Youre late.

A simple turn of phrase can move the characters emotional

state all over the placeIntro

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p




JANET looks up.

JANICE

Where the hell have you been?

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p




JANET looks up.

JANET

Half an hour, huh?

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p




JANET looks up.

JANET

Thank God youre back! I was worried about you.

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Exposition Emotion


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p

APARTMENT, DAY. JANET , a 35-year-old woman, slumps in her chair



JANET looks at her watch then glares furiously at BRAD.

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Other Considerations


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Humor Even the most intense story experience needs the occasional

stress-relieving laugh

Maybe you haven't been keeping up on current

events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!

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Ill be back.

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Youre gonna need a bigger boat.

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Naturalness vs. Compression Writing natural-sounding dialogue comes easily to some, but

most writers need to work at it Real-world dialogue vs. effective, natural-soundingstory

dialogue

Exercise

Record people talking and transcribe it

Rewrite the conversation for clarity and brevity

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Audience What is your target audience?

Age

Sex

Interests

Pop culture knowledge

ESRB

Are you writing at a level appropriate for the target ESRB

rating (E, E10+, T, M?)

Research and read entertainment experiences targetedat the same audience

Intro

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Rules& Tools

Characters

Dialogue

Your Writing and Editing Process


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Intro

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Dialogue

Process

Process Cutscenes


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Blocking Out

Work with designers to determine what each cutscene

MUST convey in order to:

Pay off previous game experience

Set up / support next game experience

Continue to move the overall game plot forward

Establish important character and relationship info

Otherwise support design or storytelling goals

Do a rough first pass on all cutscenes in the game

before beginning to edit or polish any of them

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Process

Process Cutscenes


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Second pass

After first pass, evaluate to make sure all requirements

of each cutscene are being met

Pay off previous game experience

Set up / support next game experience

Continue to move the overall game plot forward

Establish important character and relationship info

Otherwise support design or storytelling goals

Flesh it out

Your second pass might be longer than the first!

Before you start to cut the fat, make sure all the muscle

is there

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Process

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Editing

Now its time to pare dialogue down to its essence

Look at every sentence and challenge it to justify its

existence

What purpose do you serve?

Could you be replaced by a shorter or better phrase? Are you being spoken by the best choice of character?

Are you trying to communicate too many things all at

once?

Do you sound natural? Are you surrounded by sentences of similar length?

Shorten, replace, remove wherever possible. Cut until it

starts to hurt!

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Editing Second Round

After challenging sentences, move onto challenging the

individual words

Shorten, replace, remove wherever you can

More words = more likelihood player hits skip button

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Process In-Game Dialogue


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In-Game Dialogue

Same rules as Cutscene dialogue apply

Emphasis on providing very specific direction

Objectives

Hints

Means to the end Use the challenge each word process here, too

Shorten, replace, remove wherever you can

However, timeout idle and similar throwaway lines are

fun to write and pure gravy for a writer. Have fun!

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Getting Feedback

Dont do all edits yourself

If your company has no editors, find another writer to

read your work

Dont prep them any more than you must

The colder they read it, the better They can help you check:

Is your work confusing or clear?

Is exposition coming across?

Is your writing entertaining?

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Becoming a better dialogue editor

Look at how other writers handle their dialogue

Movie scripts are generally tight: read lots of them

In particular, look to good movie adaptations of novels to

see how the masters cut something big down to size

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Process

Case Study: Lord of the Rings: ROTK


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Novel by J.R.R. Tolkien

Screenplay by

Fran Walsh & Philippa Boyens & Peter Jackson

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Dialogue

Process

Case Study: Lord of the Rings: ROTKS Wh t d h ?S Wh i M t ?


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Sam: What does he mean?

Frodo: We set out to save the Shire, Sam, and it hasbeen saved ... but not for me . . .

Sam: You dont mean that - you cant leave.

Frodo (handing him the Red Book):The last pages are for you, Sam.

Frodo V/O: My dear Sam. You cannot always be torn in two.You will have to be one and whole for many years.

You have so much enjoy and to be and to do.

Your part in the Story will go on.

Scene time: 4:35

Sam: Where are you going, Master?

Frodo: To the Havens, Sam.

Sam: And I cant come.

Frodo: No, Sam. Not yet, anyway, not further than theHavens. Though you too were a Ring-Bearer, if only

for a little while. Your time may come. Do not be too

sad, Sam. You cannot always be torn in two. You will

have to be one and whole, for many years. You have

so much to enjoy and to be, and to do.

Sam: But I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, too,for years and years, after all you have done.

Frodo: So I thought too, once. But I have been too deeplyhurt, Sam. I tried to save the Shire, and it has beensaved, but not for me. It must often be so, Sam, when

things are in danger: someone has to give them up,

lose them, so that others may keep them. But you are

my heir: all that I have and might have had I leave to

you. And also you have Rose, and Elanor; and Frodo-

lad will come, and Rosie-lass, and Merry, and

Goldilocks, and Pippin; and perhaps more than Icannot see. Your hands and your wits will be needed

everywhere. You will be the Mayor, of course, as long

as you want to be, and the most famous gardener in

history; and you will read things out of the Red Book,

and keep alive the memory of the age that is gone, so

that people will remember the Great Danger and so

love their beloved land all the more. And that will

keep you as busy and as happy as anyone can be, aslong as your part of the Story goes on.

Intro

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Dialogue

Process

Reference / Reading


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Aristotle. Poetics

Public domain

Campbell, Joseph. The Hero with a Thousand Faces

Princeton University Press (reprint), 1972

Field, Syd. Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting Dell Books, 1987

Franklin, Jon. Writing For Story

Atheneum, 1986

McKee, Robert. Story

Regan Books, 1997 Phillips, Melanie and Chris Huntley. Dramatica: A New Theory of Story

Write Brothers, 2004

Rollings, Andrew and Ernest Adams. Andrew Rollings and Ernest Adams on Game Design

New Rider Games, 2003

Strunk, William and E.B. White. The Elements of Style Longman (4th edition), 1999

Vogler Christopher The Writers Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers

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CaseStudy

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