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After dropping from the news cycle, attention- starved Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi at- tempted to produce his own viral video on Thurs- day. However, due to what some are calling “a slight misunderstanding between Muammar and his extras,” the production of the video ended in the former strongman’s untimely death. While Qaddafi seems to be an unwilling partic- ipant in the clip, Muammar’s intent is apparent in his references to the titans of the viral genre. There is the extremist rebel version of “Charlie Bit My Finger,” in this case “Ahmed Stabbed My Torso,” which Qaddafi ut- ters repeatedly, in an increas- ingly forced British accent. More subtle are Qaddafi’s fren- zied movements, which actually mirror the dance moves from “Flo-mar Qaddafi.”, his critically-ac- claimed instructional home workout video. Just before the video cuts out, Muammar tries to pay tribute to the woman-of-the-hour, Rebecca Black, when he cries out, “Executin’ in the back seat/Mob violence in the front seat/Which seat should I take?” However, his fellow fame-seekers, like so many surly, overweight Youtube comment- ers, ended this aspiring star’s dream when they forced him to chill on the hood of their truck. And then killed him. R.I.P. Muammar Qaddafi 1942-2011 • Youtube Sensation THE UNDERWHELMING ISSUE THE DAVIDSONIAN PAGE 7 Where was the Yowl last week? November 2, 2011 THE DAVIDSONIAN Your Davidson Honor Section Editors: Brian Correa Anna Marie Armistead Steve Jobs Writers: Matt Morrish Charles Pennell Note: The Yowl is a satirical supplement to The Davidsonian. Hence, nothing in it should be taken as truth. Word. THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH OCCURS... FOR THE SEVEN BILLIONTH TIME SEE PAGE 4 COSTUME WIN OF THE WEEKEND: SLUTTY JANITOR, SLUTTY NURSE, SLUTTY SLUT.... SEE PAGE 304 CAIN TRAIN LIGHTS UP THE TRACKS SEE PAGE 9 Yowl Horoscopes Scorpio: Don’t give too much of your power away. If you want to pass out, you’ll rufie your- self, am I right? Qaddafi Gets Down On Friday, Never Gets Back Up Just kidding, I always ride shotty “Executin’ in the back seat/ Mob violence in the front seat/ Which seat should I take?” My name is Mickey Rourke, and I am looking to get back on the work- horse after a couple of rough years out on the job front. My last couple of films haven’t exactly been blockbusters, you know? So I would like to try something more hands on, preferably something with minimal responsibil- ity and little to no kind of accountability for what I may break, steal, or eat in the work place. I am great with kids and would actually really love the opportunity to play with young children in the neighborhood. I’ve sat many babies over the years. I used to take them to Ben & Jerry’s, CVS, and even Harris Teeter; they have the best sugar cookies! I am a graduate of Penn State University, where I obtained a degree in child servicing, before being committed to a 7-year program at the State Pen. While I am required by law to visit my Parole Officer 2-4 times a week because of a totally non-violent crime. I am still in touch with my in- ner child, and thus, feel like I would be a great hire for any parent, nursery, or illegal nursery-style day-care in someone’s garage. Please direct all responses to... [email protected] In Reidsville, NC just a few days ago, law enforcement officials raided a woman’s home after complaints of stench and noise. Upon arrival, the po- licemen were greeted by over 150 cats piled up in the home. According to the Rockingham CountyAnimal Shelter, many of the felines were sick. “These cats were, like, very chill,” reported one officer. “I’m talking, like, legit as balls.” Other officers said that the cats inside had “like six kegs” and “some nasty DJ banging dubstep.” Carolyn Johnson, the cats’ own- er, said that they were being treated well. “Hell yeah they were,” a po- liceman interjected, “those cats were getting real rowdy in there.” Four years ago in a previous raid, 100 cats were found in Johnson’s home, though the Animal Shelter released no word on how insane those dudes must have been. Either way, they “must have got a sick-ass pledge class that year,” the Reidsville Chief of Police reported. Of the 150 discov- ered just a few days ago, the News and Record of Greensboro informed that many of them were euthanized, which the Yowl assumes must be some cra- zy new drug in an attempt to get super weird—it was probably late-night. “Raid on NC home finds 150 cats, many sick” - Literally Helping Out The Community: Yowl Highlights Unemployment Hours Avaliable: Monday, Wednesday, Thursday • 12am-4am, Friday • 9am-Whenever Happy Hour Starts
