Voter’s guide to the president/vice president election kentucky kernel est. 1892 | independent since 1971 | www.kykernel.com wednesday 03.21.12 80 60 isolated T-storms tomorrow’s weather index First issue free. Subsequent issues 25 cents. Newsroom: 257-1915 Advertising: 257-2872 Classifieds.............3 Features.................4 Opinions.............3 Sports..................4 Horoscope.............2 Sudoku................2 Passion for fashion? Check out our Spring Fashion Guide Anyone who’s been keeping up with March Madness has seen the UPS commercial on the logistics of a game-winning shot — and it probably caught UK fans’ attention more so than oth- er viewers. The commercial shows a clip from the 1992 game where Duke player Grant Hill catapults the basketball across-court to fellow player Christian Laettner, who makes a last-second shot, preventing the Cats from mak- ing the Final Four. Though many UK students weren’t alive or old enough to remember this game, it still strikes a nerve. Some wonder if the clip was chosen intentional- ly. Others just have a deep root- ed feeling of hate for Duke bas- ketball. “I mean, it’s fitting for March Madness, but as a UK fan and anti-Duke fan, I de- spise it,” said English junior Eliot Brown. “Also, you’d think UPS would choose a dif- ferent game that isn’t so anti- Kentucky considering their air- line (hub) is based out of Louisville.” Mike Mangeot, a public re- lations manager for the Louisville UPS air group re- butted this sentiment in a WAVE 3 news story, saying, “We want Kentucky fans to know that there was certainly no slight in- tended. It was simply just a great illustration of logistics. How everything has to happen By Kellie Oates [email protected]Ad brings back bad feelings See UPS on page 2 UPS logistics commerical not so logical to UK fans Candidates addressing student body at debate The two sets of candidates running for president and vice president will par- ticipate in a debate Wednesday, a week before the elections will take place. Stephen Bilas and Mary Katherine Kington are on one ticket. Drake Sta- ples and Mary Ellen Wimberly are on the other. The debate is sponsored by the In- ter-Greek Programming Assembly, Interfraternity Council, National Pan- Hellenic Council, Panhellenic Council and the Kentucky Kernel. “One of our main goals in estab- lishing an event like this and includ- ing a couple different sponsors is to engage the entire student body,” Nolan Jackson, IFC president, said. The first portion of the debate will include prepared questions asked by each of the five sponsors, Jackson said. The second part of the debate will By Kayla Phelps [email protected]See DEBATE on page 2 PHOTO BY TESSA LIGHTY | STAFF Chemistry sophomore Sheldon McLetchie practices taekwondo at Alumni Gym Tuesday. UK’s taekwondo club meets two days a week in the Alumni Gym loft. Practices incorporate meditation and stretching, kicking drills, form practice, self-defense techniques and sparring, which follows Olympic-style full-contact rules, according to the club’s Facebook page. Its three to four committed members meet every Tuesday from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. and every Thursday from 6:30 to 8 p.m. The club costs $25 a year to join and is open to UK students, faculty and staff, whether they have experience or not. To learn more, email [email protected]or visit the club on Facebook at University of Kentucky Taekwondo Club. Fighting for fun President/VP - Drake Staples / Mary Ellen Wimberly - Stephen Bilas / Mary Katherine King- ton College Senators Agriculture - Staci McGill Arts & Sciences - Kaylin Oldham - Leslie Knopf - Luke Glaser - Luke Lewis - Maddie Wright Business & Economics - Jordan Plamp - Trevor Turner Communications & Information Studies - Rachel McMahan Dentistry - Aaron D. F. Stanley Design - Kendall Latham - Ryan Littman Education - Eli Edwards - Jessica Harden Engineering - Caleb DeVries - Christopher Meri- wether - William Walker Fine Arts - Caroline Wakefield - Evan J. Pulliam Graduate School - Aileen Chua - Bethney Wilson - Brian McDowell - Jeremy Preston - William Osborne - Zachary Harr Health Sciences - Kelly Reemelin - Maggie Grisanti Law - Ryan Galloway - Shannon E. Leahy Medicine - Matt Sexton Nursing - Jordyn Bland Pharmacy - Brittany Smith Social Work - Emily Underwood - Jill Harris Senator At Large (15 seats) - Alexis Cataldo - Anna Bostrom - Annie Tiu - Audrey Lavin - Ben Venable - Bradley Bernhard - Breanna Shelton - Cabot Haggin - Charissee Ridgeway - Chris Goodale - Claci Ayers - Clay Lykins - Devon Wilson - Drew Ritzel - Emily Dicks - Emily Willett - Grant Peach - Jake Ingram - Joe Papp - Karah Brown - Katie Longarzo - Liz Pawley - LT Thompson - Manny Cortez - McKenzie Bond - Megan Biven - Melissa Matthews - Michael Gant - Parker Whitehouse - Roshan Palli - Ross Micciche - Scotty Stutts - Seth Fortenbery - Timiah Dickerson - Will Blackford - Zach Doole Student Government candidates Staples Wimberly Bilas Kington Mary Ellen Wimberly Finance and economics junior Current position: Student representative on University Senate and Senate Council Plans: “To better the university for each student who sets foot on campus.” Drake Staples Finance and marketing junior Current position: Deputy chief of staff for community engagement Plans: “To change the perception that Student Government is not for all stu- dents. It’s for ... the entire UK campus.” Stephen Bilas Management and finance junior Current position: SG chief of staff Plans: “Reaching out to the universi- ty in ways (SG) hasn’t done before, and really empowering the student body to take action.” Mary Katherine Kington Finance junior Current position: Senator Plans: “I think the Leadership Devel- opment Program has been lacking in retention and we think it’s important ... to continue to invest time and ener- gy into that.” if you go What: Student Government debate When: Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. Where: Memorial Hall Admission: Free Bilas/Kington Staples/Wimberly Spring is here UK football starting practices inside story + videos online video online
Transcript
Voter’s guide to the president/vice president election
kentuckykernelest. 1892 | independent since 1971 | www.kykernel.com
Anyone who’s been keepingup with March Madness hasseen the UPS commercial on thelogistics of a game-winning shot— and it probably caught UKfans’ attention more so than oth-er viewers.
The commercial shows a
clip from the 1992 game whereDuke player Grant Hill catapultsthe basketball across-court tofellow player Christian Laettner,who makes a last-second shot,preventing the Cats from mak-ing the Final Four.
Though many UK studentsweren’t alive or old enough toremember this game, it stillstrikes a nerve. Some wonder if
the clip was chosen intentional-ly. Others just have a deep root-ed feeling of hate for Duke bas-ketball.
“I mean, it’s fitting forMarch Madness, but as a UKfan and anti-Duke fan, I de-spise it,” said English juniorEliot Brown. “Also, you’dthink UPS would choose a dif-ferent game that isn’t so anti-
Kentucky considering their air-line (hub) is based out ofLouisville.”
Mike Mangeot, a public re-lations manager for theLouisville UPS air group re-butted this sentiment in a WAVE3 news story, saying, “We wantKentucky fans to know thatthere was certainly no slight in-tended. It was simply just agreat illustration of logistics.How everything has to happen
UPS logistics commerical not so logical to UK fans
Candidates addressingstudent body at debate
The two sets of candidates runningfor president and vice president will par-ticipate in a debate Wednesday, a weekbefore the elections will take place.
Stephen Bilas and Mary KatherineKington are on one ticket. Drake Sta-ples and Mary Ellen Wimberly are onthe other.
The debate is sponsored by the In-ter-Greek Programming Assembly,Interfraternity Council, National Pan-Hellenic Council, Panhellenic Counciland the Kentucky Kernel.
“One of our main goals in estab-lishing an event like this and includ-
ing a couple different sponsors is toengage the entire student body,”Nolan Jackson, IFC president, said.
The first portion of the debate willinclude prepared questions asked byeach of the five sponsors, Jackson said.
PHOTO BY TESSA LIGHTY | STAFFChemistry sophomore Sheldon McLetchie practices taekwondo at Alumni Gym Tuesday.
UK’s taekwondo clubmeets two days a week inthe Alumni Gym loft.
Practices incorporatemeditation and stretching,kicking drills, form practice,self-defense techniques andsparring, which followsOlympic-style full-contactrules, according to the club’sFacebook page.
Its three to four committed members meetevery Tuesday from 6:30 to7:30 p.m. and every Thursday from 6:30 to 8p.m.
The club costs $25 a yearto join and is open to UKstudents, faculty and staff,whether they have experience or not.
To learn more, [email protected] visit the club on Facebook at University of Kentucky TaekwondoClub.
Fighting for fun
President/VP- Drake Staples /Mary Ellen Wimberly- Stephen Bilas /Mary Katherine King-ton
College SenatorsAgriculture - Staci McGill
Arts & Sciences- Kaylin Oldham- Leslie Knopf- Luke Glaser- Luke Lewis- Maddie Wright
Engineering- Caleb DeVries- Christopher Meri-wether- William Walker
Fine Arts- Caroline Wakefield- Evan J. Pulliam
Graduate School - Aileen Chua- Bethney Wilson- Brian McDowell- Jeremy Preston- William Osborne- Zachary Harr
Health Sciences- Kelly Reemelin- Maggie Grisanti
Law- Ryan Galloway- Shannon E. Leahy
Medicine- Matt Sexton
Nursing- Jordyn Bland
Pharmacy- Brittany Smith
Social Work- Emily Underwood- Jill Harris
Senator AtLarge(15 seats)
- Alexis Cataldo- Anna Bostrom- Annie Tiu- Audrey Lavin- Ben Venable- Bradley Bernhard- Breanna Shelton- Cabot Haggin- Charissee Ridgeway- Chris Goodale- Claci Ayers- Clay Lykins- Devon Wilson- Drew Ritzel- Emily Dicks- Emily Willett- Grant Peach- Jake Ingram- Joe Papp- Karah Brown- Katie Longarzo- Liz Pawley- LT Thompson- Manny Cortez- McKenzie Bond- Megan Biven- Melissa Matthews- Michael Gant- Parker Whitehouse- Roshan Palli- Ross Micciche- Scotty Stutts- Seth Fortenbery- Timiah Dickerson- Will Blackford- Zach Doole
Student Governmentcandidates
Staples
Wimberly
Bilas
Kington
Mary Ellen WimberlyFinance and economics junior
Current position: Student representative on University Senate
and Senate CouncilPlans: “To better the university for each
student who sets foot on campus.”
Drake Staples Finance and marketing junior
Current position: Deputy chief ofstaff for community engagement
Plans: “To change the perception thatStudent Government is not for all stu-
dents. It’s for ... the entire UK campus.”
Stephen BilasManagement and finance junior
Current position: SG chief of staffPlans: “Reaching out to the universi-ty in ways (SG) hasn’t done before,and really empowering the student
body to take action.”
Mary Katherine KingtonFinance junior
Current position: SenatorPlans: “I think the Leadership Devel-opment Program has been lacking inretention and we think it’s important
... to continue to invest time and ener-gy into that.”
if you goWhat: Student Government debateWhen: Wednesday at 6:30 p.m.Where: Memorial HallAdmission: Free
Bilas/KingtonStaples/Wimberly
Spring is hereUK football starting practices
insidestory + videos onlinevideoonline
PAGE 2 | Wednesday, March 21, 2012
To get the advantage, checkthe day's rating: 10 is the easi-est day, 0 the most challeng-ing.Aries (March 21-April 19) — Todayis an 8 — You're lucky, powerfuland looking good. The trick is toinspire action, rather thandemand it. Celebrate results,and acknowledge partners. Yourcharm's magnetic.Taurus (April 20-May 20) —Today is an 8 — Share whatyou've learned with someonewho's providing assistance. Relyon loved ones at home. Listenup ... they're saying nice thingsabout you.Gemini (May 21-June 21) — Todayis an 8 — Your career's takingoff, and your cheering sectionapproves. Take them out to cele-brate with comfort food. Getorganized, and keep yourfriends involved.Cancer (June 22-July 22) —Today is an 8 — Give in to sweetindulgences with this NewMoon, especially those that
charm someone near to you(maybe very near). The conver-sation's illuminating.Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Today isan 8 — If you've been respectful,the commentary's complimenta-ry. Go ahead and put down someroots. Make a commitment.Work smarter, not harder. Newdoors are open.Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Todayis a 9 — Beautify your spacewith simplicity. A hunch could bequite profitable. You're attract-ed to someone who's making alot of sense. Share their mes-sage.Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) — Todayis an 8 — Sometimes the funpart is to work hard for whatyou want. If you're not sure,don't be afraid to ask for direc-tions and learn new skills. Keepworking at it.Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) —Today is a 7 — It's an excellenttime for a journey with friends.Others appreciate your leader-ship and clever storytelling.Leave room for others to shine,too. Feel the love.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) —Today is an 8 — Find the solutionin the usual place. Visualizebeauty. Pamper yourself, and itdoesn't have to cost you apenny. Stay close to hometonight.Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) —Today is an 8 — Taking a walkoutdoors helps clear yourthoughts. Keep your eyes wideopen. There's a lot to learn inunexpected places. Observe acaterpillar. Build a dynamicvision.Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) —Today is an 8 — Fine-tuningactions and letting go of unnec-essary steps leads to increasedsatisfaction. The less movingparts there are, the lesschances there are of breakingdown. Dream.Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) —Today is a 9 — You risk steam-rolling your loved ones withyour increased confidence. Lis-ten to your partner for wisdom.The conversation can be signifi-cant in many ways.
If you are one of those stuffy types whoinsists on understanding what is happening ineach and every scene of a film, the Chineseaction-comedy blockbuster “Let the BulletsFly” is not your cup of Oolong. But if you’rewilling to accept a movie as an immersiveemotional-kinetic experience, it might be yournew favorite thing.
After watching it, I was as confused —and giddy — as if I had been rolled down ahill in rain barrel. For unmitigated insanity,this is a hard film to beat.
The film, reportedly China’s No. 1 box of-fice hit ever, is essentially a rowdy latter-dayWestern set in the warlord era of the 1920s. Anewly appointed governor is riding a privaterail car to provincial Goose Town, guzzlingchampagne and hatching plans to fleece thelocals. Bandits attack, the governor dies in thehellacious train wreck. His flunky, Tang, sur-vives, and Zhang, the chief of the marauders,forces him to play along in a plot to oustGoose Town’s boss, Master Huang. At least Ithink so. I’m about 70 percent sure that’s what
writer-director Jiang Wen was driving at.Never mind. Goose Town is a wide-open
frontier city where everybody has a gun andthe irritability to use it. The bandit chief,“Pocky” Zhang, uses Tang to dupe Huang. Ac-tually, there are two Huangs, the real one andhis double. I’m guessing the soundalike namesare a riff on the idea that political leaders areall interchangeable crooks. And the popula-tion, as indicated, is a bunch of birdbrains.
The movie is above all entertaining, a riot ofmadcap comedy, exuberant action scenes andflamboyant acting. Writer/ director Jiang, mov-ing in front of the camera to play the banditZhang, is cowboy cool incarnate. Ge You, atimorous Don Knotts type in silk brocade, is ahoot as cowardly, avaricious Tang. Best knownto Westerners is suavely handsome Chow YunFat, China’s answer to George Clooney, in ahigh-spirited double role as the nefarious Huangand his pea-brained lookalike.
The plot-be-damned lunacy of the story re-peatedly made me feel lost, but never bored.
Somewhat ambiguous film still fun
MCT
4puz.com
Horoscope
MCT
at exactly the right time foran event to take place. Andthat’s the business that we’rein.”
Mangeot also said in thearticle that UK had “creativeapproval on everything” andthat its officials “gave UPSthe go-ahead to do it.”
“I have a hard time be-lieving UK approved this be-cause of how serious we areabout basketball,” sophomoreClay Smith said. “The shot is
great for the commercialthough, so I see why UPSused it, but UK fans arediehard. Especially when itcomes to Duke.”
UPS, the official logisticssupplier for the NCAA, is us-ing the pass as a metaphor forlogistics. And while the ideamakes sense, it still doesn’tsit well with a lot of UK stu-dents and fans.
“It was crushing, that’show I remember it. I wasabout 8 years old and I re-member the atmosphere inthe room was like that of a fu-neral; like someone we loved
had died,” said Chad Glasser,a pharmacy graduate student.“These feelings come flood-ing back when I see this com-mercial.”
UPSContinued from page 1
include a forum that allows students in atten-dance to submit questions to a moderator.Each question will be projected onto a screenand answered by the candidates.
Panhellenic President-Elect India Landsaid she hopes students will take advantageof the forum and get to know the candidatesbefore voting.
“Students can voice their concerns andget them cleared up before it is time to vote,”she said.
Land said she wants to see unity through-
out UK’s campus. One of her main goals is tosee “both Greek and non-Greeks come togeth-er so the entire campus can become involved.”
Jackson also said he wants “to appeal tothe interests of this diverse population.”
“Having that second portion allows stu-dents with all different backgrounds andideas to engage,” Jackson said.
The elections will take place March 28-29 and results will be announced at 8 p.m.March 29 on the Student Center patio.
“This election affects all students at UK,”Jackson said. “Who they decide to elect willaffect them and campus opportunities.”
For more information about Student Gov-ernment and the elections, visit uksga.org.
DEBATEContinued from page 1
CorrectionThe UK Hoops Sweet 16 game against Gonzaga will be Sunday in Kingston, R.I. Articles
in Monday's paper incorrectly reported the game would be played in Bridgeport, R.I. Bridgeport is a city in Connecticut.
To report an error, call the Kentucky Kernel at 257-1915 or email [email protected].
Bilas/Kingtonwww.bilaskington2012.com
They want to focus on taking past initiativesand making them more efficient and effective.Both have worked in Student Government sincestarting at UK, so they “recognize the impor-
tance that an experienced, passionate team ofleaders has on the success of Student Govern-ment,” Bilas said. They think teacher accounta-bility is an area that can be improved and hopeto implement a program that caters to teacher
expectations and student concerns.
Staples/Wimberlywww.stapleswimberly.com
They have multiple initiatives they want tosee through that they know can be accom-
plished in one year. They want to implementa short-term, interest-free loan program forall UK students. They also want to start ONEKentucky at campus, which is a program that
promotes respect, equality and diversityamong students. Their platform is based onequal representation of the entire student
body.
UK fans arediehard. Especiallywhen it comes toDuke.”
CLAY SMITHUK sophomore
“
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Research Opportunities for Occasional (less than 4to 5 times per month) Recreational Users of Opioidsfor Non-Medical Reasons. Researchers with theUniversity of Kentucky College of Medicine,Department of Behav ioral Science are conductingresearch to ex amine the effects of medications. Allinfor mation obtained will be kept confidential. Youmay be eligible if you: are between 18 and 50 yearsof age; and have recreationally used opioids fornon-medical reasons occa sionally (less than 4 to 5times per month) in the past year (for exampleOxyContin®, Lortab®, Vicodin® or morphine).Eligible volunteers will be paid for their participa -tion. You may be reimbursed for travel. Stud iesinvolve completion of one to 40 testing sessionsdepending on studies for which you may be eligible.Meals, snacks, movies, video games and readingmaterials will be pro vided. For more informationand a confiden tial interview, please call859-257-5388 or 1- 866-232-0038.
Researchers at the University of Kentucky are look-ing for individuals between the ages of 21 and 35who have received a DUI in the last 2 years to par-ticipate in a study looking at behavioral and mentalperformance. All participants will be compensatedfor their time and participation is completely confi -dential. For more information, please call859-257-5794
Seeking teachers for Toddler Program (1-3 yearsold). Must be 18 years old with high school diplomaor GED. Full-Time and Part- Time positions avail-able. Apply in person @ 3271 Beaumont CentreCircle.
Servers, expos & bussers positions avail able. Josie’s@ 821 Chevy Chase Place and Merrick Inn @ 1074Merrick Drive. Please apply in person.
STUDENTPAYOUTS.COM. Paid survey tak ers need-ed in Lexington. 100% FREE to join. Click on sur-veys.
Summer Full and Part-Time staff for our K-5 sum-mer camp. We also need a maintenance person.Many positions are available for all ages.Experience in childcare is a must. Ap ply in person:National Academy Child Care Center, 3500 ArborDrive, Lexington.
The Kentucky Kernel wants you for its ad staff. Whatkinds of students are we looking for? Motivated.Outgoing. Organized. Busi ness savvy. Dedicated.What will you get? A fun, flexible, job. Valuable salesand account management skills. Amazing co-workers.Ex perience facilitating the buying, selling and produc-tion of advertisements. And, oh yeah, a nice paycheckeach month. If you think you have what it takes, andyou wouldn’t mind bringing in some cash to pay yourbills each month, send us a resume. email: [email protected]. Mail: 026 Grehan Jour nalism Bldg,University of Kentucky, Lexing ton, KY 40506.
The Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen’s Club is lookingfor multiple happy, fun loving peo ple! We train.Truck driver minimum age 25 with clean drivingrecord, cooks, Man ager trainee 21 years old mini-mum. Call 859-263-1991, 2PM to 11PM, or stop by.
Violin instructor for 2 girls, ages 10 and 13 that have4 years experience. Fun and enger getic personalityrequired. Call 806-1000.
Writers & Interns Wanted:Lexington based Internet company seeks writingstaff. Applicants should be familiar with socialmedia, ebusiness and/or technol ogy. VisitWebProNews.com for examples. This is a greatopportunity to earn extra cash while building yourresume/portfolio. We are also accepting applica-tions for intern ships across our company for Spring.Send resume with writing samples to jobs@ientry. -com and/or call 859-514-2720 to schedule an inter-view.
YMCA is looking for group leaders/coun selors forour before/afterschool programs and summercamps. Download a job appli cation at:www.ymcaofcentralky.org. Con tact Jamie Massie,Staff Development Direc tor, (859) 226-0393 orjmassie@ymcaofcen tralky.org
FOUND: A White iPod shuffle was found near theWhitehall Classroom Building on a sidewalk onWednesday, January 18th around noon. Call859-955-0123.
FOUND: Long-hair, beagle-size female dog with UKcollar. Found in Chevy Chase area. Call 233-0044,Lexington Humane Society.
Found: 01/23 - Beaded Bracelet at Lime stone andVirginia. Call 859-361-0770.
LOST: Set of multiple keys on an empty UK I.D.holder. Lost around campus. Please call270-590-3629.
ACTOR’S TRAINING TO DEVELOP STAGE PRES-ENCE. REPUTABLE UNIVERSITY OF MASSACHU-SETTS MEDICAL SCHOOL MEDITATION PRO-GRAM. FREE IN STRUCTION AND MATERIALS(VALUE: $300 TO $1800). REQUEST INFO:mindfu [email protected].
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Healthy Volunteers Needed for Behavioral StudiesResearchers with the University of Kentucky Collegeof Medicine, Department of Behavioral Science arerecruiting healthy volunteers ages 18-50 to partici-pate in ongo ing multiple research studies that evalu-ate the behavioral effects of prescribed FDA ap -proved medications. Qualified volunteers will bepaid for their participation. Studies involve comple-tion of 1 to 47 testing sessions depending on studiesfor which you may qualify. Studies are run in apleasant setting during daytime hours. Snacks,movies, video games and reading materials will bepro vided. To apply visit our website at: http: -//rrf.research.uky.edu
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Daycare: Maxwell Street Presbyterian Early CareCenter currently has openings for 6 weeks to 24months, infants & toddlers. 7: 30am-5:45pm. PamBoldt @ 859-255-1074
Editor-in-Chief Taylor Moak,Becca Clemons, Aaron Smith, Eva McEnrue, Sam Rothbauer and Luke Glaser
Every once in a whilewhen living abroad, youhave to do something dis-tinctly American. Whetherit’s complaining about stu-dent loans or streamingMarch Madness online inthe wee hours of the morn-ing, little pieces of homecan make all the difference.
Hence, I recently setout on a mission to makecheddar biscuits.
I havea feeling
that you know exactly whatI’m talking about. Doesanyone actually go to RedLobster for seafood? I mustsay the seafood is drastical-ly better in Scotland, but theendless baskets of biscuitsare certainly lacking.
Thankfully I managedto get my hands on a goodrecipe. It’s probably thetype of recipe that PaulaDeen’s diabetes doctorswould encourage her toavoid, but being that Ihadn’t even seen a biscuit inmore than six months, I fig-ured I was safe.
A couple hours and a couple cups of but-termilk later, I was covered in flour and hadwhipped up a batch of delicious heaven.Crumbly, salty, cheesy — everything a goodAmerican biscuit should be.
I brought the batch into my office at theuniversity and attempted to feed some col-leagues. Expecting to be greeted with cheers
and incessant drooling, I instead got a host ofrepulsed facial expressions and commentslike, “Biscuits? With cheddar? Disgusting.”
I couldn’t imagine why anyone would eversay that, but it seems I missed one small butvery important detail — biscuits in the UnitedKingdom are essentially what we would call ahard cookie.
Flat, crunchy and sweet, they are the kindof treat you would eat with a cup of coffee,rather than with a dose of warm cheese.
I managed to figure this out conversingwith my Scottish colleagues and finally under-
stood why I was met withsuch reluctance. Nonethe-less, after a little convinc-ing, I managed to get themto try the “biscuit.”
One bite later? “Oh, adelicious cheese scone!”
I inadvertently hadlaunched an office discus-sion on the merits and usesof the American biscuit asopposed to the Britishscone. I’m still not con-vinced they are the samething, but we’ll set thataside for the time being.
Discussing the vast ver-satility of the American bis-
cuit, I mentioned the mosttraditional of breakfast cuisine — biscuits andgravy. Again the groans and sickened faces.“Gravy? For breakfast? And it’s white?”
I continued my lesson and described theprocess of making white gravy — sausagedrippings, butter, flour, milk and southerncharm. Let’s just say I was digging my holeeven deeper.
But I could see why this might scare them
a bit. After all, the “full Scottish breakfast” tra-ditionally includes black pudding, a sausagethat contains thickened and congealed blood,fried in a griddle. Not scary at all …
In the end, the biscuits, er, scones weremore a source of Scottish entertainment thanan American treat.
Although you know what else has becomedistinctly American for me? Creating enter-
taining cultural confusion.Jordan Covvey is a 2010 Doctor of Phar-
macy graduate from the UK College of Phar-macy. She is currently a Ph.D. candidate andFulbright-Strathclyde Postgraduate Scholar atthe University of Strathclyde in Glasgow, Scot-land. Her monthly column will follow herexperiences and cultural education across thepond. Email [email protected].
From one UK to another: The battle of the biscuits
JORDANCOVVEY
Contributingcolumnist
CHRISTOPHER EPLING, Kernel cartoonist
Whether it’s complainingabout student loans orstreaming MarchMadness online in thewee hours of the morning, little pieces ofhome can make all thedifference.
PAGE 4 | Wednesday, March 21, 2012
features
sports
It’s been (as of writingthis on Tuesday) 101 dayssince UK went to Indiana onDec. 10 and lost its only reg-ular-season game.
“That was like a seasonago,” head coach John Cali-pari said. “I had to watch thetape just to remember any-thing.”
For UK fans, everyoneremembers one play: Chris-tian Watford’s buzzer-beating3-pointer. But that’s onlythree of a combined 145points in the game. Otherfactors went into Indiana’supset. Were they aberrationsthat day? Or can we expectsimilar performances? Let’stake a look at some of themajor storylines in thatgame:
Indiana made 9 of 15threes and 14 of 17free throws
The Hoosiers’stellar performancefrom behind the (3-
point) line and from the(free-throw) line wasn’t ab-normal.
Indiana ranks second in
the NCAA in 3-point per-centage (43.7) and everyplayer except Cody Zellercontributes from outside. Butit’s tough to guard becauseIndiana isn’t overly reliant onthe three: only 27.6 percentof its shots are 3-pointers.Against UK on Dec. 10, 25.9percent of its shots werefrom deep.
As for the free throws,Indiana ranks 12th nationallyin free-throw percentage(76.3). Indeed, the Hoosiersdidn’t get to the line againstUK as often as they usuallydo. Their free-throw rate of29.3 percent paled in com-parison to their season aver-age of 45.2 percent.
“If you foul them or givethem threes, you’re losing,”Calipari said. “That’s whatthey do.”
Terrence Jones was ano-show
Jones had hisworst game of theseason, scoring fourpoints and grabbingone rebound. He
was benched down thestretch and Calipari all butsaid he might as well havestayed home that day.
It didn’t seem to be aHoosier-induced problem forJones, though. It was, sim-ply, his worst day. There’snothing that suggests he will
have a similarly bad day inthe Sweet 16, especiallyconsidering how well he’splayed lately. He’s averaged14.4 points and 10.4 re-bounds over the past fivegames.
“I hope he keeps playinglike he’s been,” Calipari said.“Whatever you’re eating,whatever you’re reading, tellthe rest of the guys.”
Anthony Davis was infoul trouble
Davis fouledtwice in the firsthalf and finishedthe game with four.
As a result, he was relegat-ed to 24 minutes, the lowestof the top six rotation play-ers.
Davis hasn’t had fourfouls since. For an elite shot-blocker, he’s great at avoid-ing fouls. Everyone calls hima game-changer, but he hasto be in the game to changeit.
“He left his feet twice,and he didn’t need to eithertime,” Calipari said in ex-plaining Davis’ foul troublesthat day.
Davis has continuedlearning how to be a betterdefender through the year. Ifhe can stay in the game, he
could make the dif-ference.The motivation was inIndiana’s favor
That Dec. 10game was the most
hostile crowd I’ve seen. Indi-ana wanted that game against
then-No. 1 UK so bad. It rep-resented the restoration of theprogram. The incalculablefactors pointed the Hoosiers’way.
This time around, theCats have the edge. Nowthat the game’s here, Cali-pari stressed that the gameisn’t for revenge and that itwon’t matter. But at differ-ent times throughout theseason, when Indiana wasn’timmediately on the horizonand the “right things” didn’thave to be said, playerstalked about how much thatIndiana loss burned, howmuch they would like anoth-er shot at the Hoosiers.Those feelings haven’t dis-appeared.
At the end of everything,I go back to something Cali-pari said a few weeks ago.He was talking about howwell UK had played, game-in and game-out, during itslong winning streak, andthen he touched tangentiallyon how the Indiana gamewas one of the only timeshis team had not playedwell. That sentiment,stripped of all external ra-tionale for saying it — hedidn’t have to talk up or talkdown that game because therematch was not sitting rightin front of him — might bethe key.
The Cats didn’t play thatwell against Indiana the firsttime around. Play better, andanything else might not mat-ter.
Many factors may have made a difference in Indiana’s win
What contributed to UK’s loss?
AARONSMITH
Kernelcolumnist
UK 101, the orientationprogram created for incom-ing freshmen, has seen wildsuccess in its goal to in-crease retention rates andcreate a more accommodat-ing environment for newstudents.
So why, dear readers,wouldn’t it work the otherway around?
The newly created Officeof Old Students has an-nounced the genesis of UK501, an orientation programwith a focus on seniors get-ting the hell out of UK.
“We’re just sick of themsticking around,” said the pro-gram coordinator. “I mean,geez, enough is enough.”
The program was createdto address the growing issueof students refusing to leavecollege.
A bad job market, cou-pled with an adolescent re-fusal to move on with life,creates an atmosphere offifth-, sixth- and even sev-enth-year seniors in the mostextreme cases.
“I’m not just another oneof those students,” said onefifth-year senior, whose firsttwo years were spent drink-ing, failing and filling out re-peat options. “I just have afew more classes to take andthen I will be finished withmy degree. I think.”
UK 501 will teach stu-dents who have been herelonger than the traditionalfour years how to grow up.
Courses include “Classesthat help finish your degreethat aren’t intermediate ten-nis,” “Quit complaining andfill out applications” and
“Safety tips when movingout of your parents’ base-ment.”
“We love all our stu-dents,” said one instructor.“But, you know, there’s atime when you need to leavethe nest. Our job in UK 501is to violently shove them outof the nest.”
Studies show that stu-dents desperate to stay in col-lege “just one more year”will add degrees that theydon’t really care about andhave a sudden epiphany inwhich the career that hasevaded them all their livessuddenly presents itself threeyears into college.
Unfortunately, said careerdoesn’t involve any of thoseaccumulated psychologycredits.
UK 501 will also revisitsome UK 101 principles.
“So this is Willy T. Li-brary?” said one befuddledfifth-year, gazing in awe at
the building whose tour hemissed when he went toprank that one sorority fresh-man year as a pledge. “Thisis really cool. This substantialcollection of books and elec-tronic resources would havereally helped me the last fiveyears.”
Coordinators are opti-mistic about the results of theprogram.
“One of the primarygoals of UK is to increasegraduation rates,” one coordi-nator said as he created the“Go to the freaking CareerCenter” lesson plan. “We aredoing that by making themgraduate.”
And that, dear readers, isthe lukewarm truth. Not quitehot, but definitely not cold.
The editors of the Ken-tucky Kernel neither confirmnor endorse the ideas ex-pressed in this article. Be-cause really, who in theirright mind would?
The Lukewarm Truth: UK 501LUKE
GLASER
Kernelcolumnist
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The UK baseball teamwill play Cincinnati Wednes-day at 4 p.m.
The Cats (21-0, 3-0 SEC)are in the midst of the longestwin streak in program historyand the third longest in thehistory of the SEC.
The longest streak in con-ference history belongs to the2009 LSU team, who won 23consecutive games on their
way to a national champi-onship.
A win over UC (8-10) andwins Friday and Saturday atTennessee (11-8) would securethe record for UK.
“It’s a great feeling,” sen-ior catcher Michael Williamssaid. “We’re a lot more confi-dent, more positive and we allhave each other’s back.”
But UK head coach GaryHenderson is trying to contin-ue to take it one game at atime.
“We enjoy winning,” Hen-derson said. “But the biggerpicture is there are 30 of them(conference games) and weneed to win as many as wecan to get to Birmingham.”
The Cats made a climb inthe national rankings follow-ing their sweep of the two-time defending nationalchampion South CarolinaGamecocks last weekend.
Highlighted by a No. 2ranking from CollegiateBaseball Newspaper, UK was
seen at No. 6, 13 and 16 byvarious media outlets. A winover UC and a sweep of UTcould make UK a unanimoustop-five team.
“I told our kids there aremore distractions and chal-lenges in their lives than therehave ever been in college ath-letics,” Henderson said.“Moving forward, we willjust try to do a good job inhandling tomorrow night’sballgame at Cincinnati beforewe do anything else.”
