If we’ve walked this pathway for a while and we’re doing the meditation, we are witnesses to our own life changes. Others may see some changes in us, but only we know the truth of those changes, and only we know what it took to move through all those things to make our life what it is today. And so, my question to you, right now, would be: “Where you are today, after all these changes, after many meditations, after this action of Loving in your life, would you give all this up and go back to before you began this practice of meditation? Would you want to go back to that?” Most of us would say, “No, I don’t want that anymore; that was hell.” I hope none of us want to ever go back, and anyway, there’s really no way we can. We could try but it wouldn’t be the same because of what we now know. Back then, we didn’t know the choices and so we weren’t making them. We were just living what was present in the moment. We have since experienced that movement of the Divine inside. We have since witnessed ourselves change and grow, and we have since experienced a greater peace and joy. Even if we do go back to the old ways, they’ll just transform and move back into this new action of Loving. It would just be automatic because wherever we take Loving things change. Once we have Loving anchored inside, we can’t give it up and we can’t stop it from moving. It is ever in action. Now, we could do one thing. We could do what we did when we first entered into the physical creation, and that is to turn away from the realms of Spirit and look back into the world. But Spirit is right there and we know it. If we were to turn away from that Truth now and turn back to the illusion, we couldn’t forget. We can’t forget this time because God will ever remind us back to the Truth of who we are, through the longing, through the pull, through the call to remember, so that we can continue the journey Home to God. We can resist, we can fight, we can turn away, but ultimately, today, tomorrow, twenty years from now, the next lifetime, we will choose back into the Loving once again, and just pick up where we left off. VOLUME 22 NUMBER 2 AUGUST, 2010 I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES J OURNAL I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES J OURNAL OVING CHANGE (from Divine Inheritance, 11/15/09) by Jim Gordon, President of ILM L S ometimes the hardest thing to do in our lives is to confront change. Change is challenging for most of us. But everything in life is ever changing. Sometimes it’s very dramatic and it’s right in our face, boldly challenging us; and other times there are these little, subtle changes that we aren’t even aware of until after a certain point. It’s as if someone is slowly pulling the rug out from under our feet and then, all of a sudden, there is one big tug and there we are, in the midst of change. So, if we look at our lives right now, and look at where we were prior to starting this pathway, would we all agree that even though a lot of things have changed and dropped away, our lives are better now than they were prior to being on this pathway? From a spiritual standpoint, we have begun to understand and experience, and to choose into neutrality, into loving, into forgiveness and acceptance. We’ve begun to choose into “putting God first.” We have begun to take responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings, for our actions and reactions, and not put this responsibility upon others. And all of these changes make our lives simpler and more fulfilling because we are beginning to experience that movement of Loving which is a fulfillment of oneself in this creation. To be able to live in that movement of Loving is fulfillment. Since starting this Pathway Home to God, our relationships with our parents may have changed, or with our siblings, or with co-workers; our belief systems, our attitudes, and maybe our careers and finances may have changed. But all these changes have helped to move us into neutrality, into the centeredness of this pathway, into one of the key actions of this pathway: detachment. And what is detachment? It’s a choice. It really is a choice. We look at something and ask, “Is that really important? Do I have to keep holding on to keep this relationship alive? Do I have to feed it all the time and make it happen? Or, do I just let it go?”
Transcript
If we’ve walked this pathway for a while and we’re doing the meditation, we are witnesses to our own life changes. Others may see some changes in us, but only we know the truth of those changes, and only we know what it took to move through all those things to make our life what it is today.
And so, my question to you, right now, would be: “Where you are today, after all these changes, after many meditations, after this action of Loving in your life, would you give all this up and go back to before you began this practice of meditation? Would you want to go back to that?” Most of us would say, “No, I don’t want that anymore; that was hell.” I hope none of us want to ever go back, and anyway, there’s really no way we can. We could try but it wouldn’t be the same because of what we now know. Back then, we didn’t know the choices and so we weren’t making them. We were just living what was present in the moment. We have since experienced that movement of the Divine inside. We have since witnessed ourselves change and grow, and we have since experienced a greater peace and joy. Even if we do go back to the old ways, they’ll just transform and move back into this new action of Loving. It would just be automatic because wherever we take Loving things change. Once we have Loving anchored inside, we can’t give it up and we can’t stop it from moving. It is ever in action.
Now, we could do one thing. We could do what we did when we first entered into the physical creation, and that is to turn away from the realms of Spirit and look back into the world. But Spirit is right there and we know it. If we were to turn away from that Truth now and turn back to the illusion, we couldn’t forget. We can’t forget this time because God will ever remind us back to the Truth of who we are, through the longing, through the pull, through the call to remember, so that we can continue the journey Home to God. We can resist, we can fight, we can turn away, but ultimately, today, tomorrow, twenty years from now, the next lifetime, we will choose back into the Loving once again, and just pick up where we left off.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do in our lives is to confront change. Change is challenging for most of us. But everything in life is ever changing.
Sometimes it’s very dramatic and it’s right in our face, boldly challenging us; and other times there are these little, subtle changes that we aren’t even aware of until after a certain point. It’s as if someone is slowly pulling the rug out from under our feet and then, all of a sudden, there is one big tug and there we are, in the midst of change.
So, if we look at our lives right now, and look at where we were prior to starting this pathway, would we all agree that even though a lot of things have changed and dropped away, our lives are better now than they were prior to being on this pathway? From a spiritual standpoint, we have begun to understand and experience, and to choose into neutrality, into loving, into forgiveness and acceptance. We’ve begun to choose into “putting God first.” We have begun to take responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings, for our actions and reactions, and not put this responsibility upon others. And all of these changes make our lives simpler and more fulfilling because we are beginning to experience that movement of Loving which is a fulfillment of oneself in this creation. To be able to live in that movement of Loving is fulfillment.
Since starting this Pathway Home to God, our relationships with our parents may have changed, or with our siblings, or with co-workers; our belief systems, our attitudes, and maybe our careers and finances may have changed. But all these changes have helped to move us into neutrality, into the centeredness of this pathway, into one of the key actions of this pathway: detachment. And what is detachment? It’s a choice. It really is a choice. We look at something and ask, “Is that really important? Do I have to keep holding on to keep this relationship alive? Do I have to feed it all the time and make it happen? Or, do I just let it go?”
(from Patience and Gentleness On This Path, 7/12/09)
your journey.
I will, at times, find myself experiencing this pressure inside my head at the same time Spirit is there. I am ever watching, observing, paying attention of my own inner experience, and simply through paying attention, I begin to awaken and learn from my inner experience. I’m not doing anything but observing. I’m not trying to get rid of the pressure or trying to change anything. I’m simply in the state of observation, being patient ...
So, to be patient and gentle with ourselves, within ourselves, to be in that neutral place of observation, allows us to be more open so that we really can experience that greater unfolding of life itself. It’s when we give our attention to the pressures and the demands, and try to control how we want life to go, that we can limit ourselves and, in a sense, close a door of awareness and to the greater movement of Loving.
Simply by being willing and vulnerable, and by observing what is present, we can create the space to allow Spirit to come present. We cannot create spiritual experience, because it already is – there’s nothing to create. All we are doing is creating the space within ourselves to move into that which already is, the spirit of life itself. And as we create the space, we will be uplifted because that’s the nature of Spirit. The nature of the world is down and out. It pulls us down and out. When we are upset or depressed we even say, “I’m feeling down and out.” And when we are joyful, we say, “I’m feeling so up today.”
So this journey of awakening to Spirit takes time, takes patience and gentleness in observing and learning from those experiences we have inside. Once we begin to pay attention, once we become aware, we can begin to take the action steps within ourselves of letting go of the pressures, demands, and judgments, and come more into alignment with Spirit. It’s about always staying in a state of observation, with patience and gentleness, as we go about our daily lives so that we can continually experience the movement of Loving.
by Brian Yeakey, Vice President of ILM
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bservation is Key
One of the biggest keys in walking this Path of Soul Transcendence is patience and gentleness. Patience and gentleness go hand in hand really. If we are patient, a
lot of the pressures we place on ourselves are lifted, and with less pressure life becomes more gentle. Patience and gentleness begin to create a space within ourselves so that we can open to the experience of Spirit – not our imagination of Spirit, not what we think about it, but to the truth of Spirit. To have that greater awakening, we have to create the space within our consciousness; and learning to be patient and gentle with ourselves are keys in doing this. We’re not going to awaken just because we know about the different realms, or because we understand all the teachings of LAF, or know about the Sacred Name of God; that’s not going to help us wake up into Spirit. It can give us direction, inspiration, motivation, encouragement – but it’s the qualities of patience, gentleness, acceptance, openness, and loving that are really going to work for us and help us to awaken.
The way we approach our lives makes all the difference. In doing the inner kingdom work, if we find that we are pushing, demanding, judging, pressuring ourselves, trying to get rid of, or somehow trying to change ourselves because we think something is wrong, just be aware of this and let that be feedback of what’s taking place inside. Each of us is the creator of our own experience. Creating pressures and demands can hold us back or limit us from really moving into Spirit, so learn from that. Ask, “What is creating these pressures and demands?” And then, as awareness comes forth, begin to use the approach of patience and gentleness. Begin forgiving the different parts that are judging, and get free.
It’s a process from the very beginning, with that first breath into this world. We have to find our way out and into the greater freedom, the greater innocence, the greater joy and truth of life itself. So, pay attention and be aware of your inner experience at any given time. What you do with it will lead you into what is next, into what your next experience is going to be on
o
My Journey of beCoMinga spiritual teaCher
I nner L ight M inistriesI L M
presented by JiM gordon and brian yeaKey in Austin, Texas:For additional information, call 512-306-1056.
W
CalendarCLassEs & PRoGRaMs: suMMER – FaLL ‘10
Weekly classes include spiritual teachings, Q&A, and meditation. Jim and Brian assist participants to become
more deeply aware of the Spirit within. No charge.
eekly Classes:
(ILM Calendar continues on pages 4-12)
Jim and Brian’s weekly class is held on Sundays, 3-5 pmat the ILM Center, Franklin Sq. Bldg, 3724 Jefferson, Ste. 100.
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a frequenCy of Changefor a new MillenniuM
fullfillMent of the soul
the aCtion of initiation and the power of
the naMe
Recent ILM Talks and Meditations On CDs
an introduCtion to ilM disCipleship
20102010facilitated by Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey
* These ending times are approximate.
in England:
in Hawaii:
Saint anthony’s Cost: double Occupancy (per person) - $350
beginning Wednesday, august 11 at 6 pm thru Sunday, august 15 at 1:30 pm.*at Saint anthony’s retreat Center, Honolulu, Hawaii
For more information contact: laura doggett at 512-306-1056 or e-mail Laura at [email protected].
beginning Wednesday, november 3 at 6 pm thru Sunday, november 7 at 1:30 pm.*at earnley Concourse, earnley, Chichester West Sussex
To register contact: laura doggett at 512-306-1056 or e-mail Laura at [email protected].
For more information contact: Susanne Cook at 01444 870838 or lynn Johnson at 01903 765928.
II n this meditative retreat, Jim and Brian will be taking you on an experiential journey into
the greater knowing of your Divine Nature. They will be sharing about the meditation practice
of The Path of Sound and Light to “experience the Divine,”
and there will be gracious periods of timefor meditation, relaxation, and rejuvenation.
n this meditative retreat, Jim and Brian will be taking you on an experiential journey into
the greater knowing of your Divine Nature. They will be sharing about the meditation practice
of The Path of Sound and Light to “experience the Divine,”
and there will be gracious periods of timefor meditation, relaxation, and rejuvenation.
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November 3-7November 3-7
August 11-15August 11-15
Experiencing The Divine –A Meditative Retreat
Experiencing The Divine –A Meditative Retreat
Saturday, August 21 Saturday, August 21
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Sunday, August 8Sunday, August 8
tiMe of event: 1:30-6 pm* where: Ohana East Hotel, Waikiki, Hawaii
Ohana East Lobby Conference RoomPark in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio Avenue.
Parking will be provided by ILM.donation
ILM presents:
tiMe of event: 1:30-6 pm* where: Ohana East Hotel, Waikiki, Hawaii
Ohana East Lobby Conference RoomPark in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio Avenue.
Parking will be provided by ILM.donation
in Hawaii
Wednesday, August 18 Wednesday, August 18sharing and q&a
with JiM and briansharing and q&a
with JiM and brian
For further information regarding this event please contact Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509.For further information regarding this event please contact Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509.
* These ending times are approximate.* These ending times are approximate.
183 laWrie park gardenS, Snydenham, london Se26 6XJ
Please contact Caroline at 0208-778-9430 for information and directions.
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SuNDay, oCT 31 after Jim & Brian’s ILM ClassJoin us at 6 pm at Bill Stratton’s home
We’ll order out from a local batty restaurant, and then we’ll flock together at Bill’s house of horrors and dine Addam’s family style.
Costumes are a plus! (But optional.) All are welcome -
but beware!
Halloween Party
oins For KidsC
he celebration begins at 4 pm at 203 Buckeye Trail in Austin, Texas. Everyone is welcome!
It’s a potluck so bring a dish to share.
ur Coins For Kids Christmas service project is coming up ... so if you’ve been saving your coins or wondering what you might like to do
as an expression of service this year, consider participating with us as we once againgo on a joyful gift shopping spree for children in need at Christmas time.
Drop off your coins/donation at one of Jim and Brian’s Sunday classes
by SuNDay, NoV 14, or you can mail a check to:
ILM, P.O. Box 164332, Austin, TX 78716-4332.
(Donations to ILM’s Coins For Kids are tax deductible.)
Shopping Day will be on SuNDAy, NOv 21Meet at 9:30 am at the Super Target
at I-35 and Parmer.
oin us for ILM’s Christmas celebration on SATuRDAy, DEC 11
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hristmAs Potluck PArty:C
Holiday Events in Austin:
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I nner L ight M inistries CalendarI L
(New Name! previously STorieS unTold) Jim and Brian talk about Loving, Acceptance, and Forgiveness in every talk they give. In The Heart of Journaling we, first-handedly, practice and experience LAF through writing about the events of our lives, releasing the past so that we can open more fully to the Divine in the present. The process of journaling can keep us more aligned and in the flow of God’s Loving. These weekends are magical! Try it for one weekend and see for yourself. No experience necessary! You just have to show up! Sharing is always optional.
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The earT of Journaling:H
presented by laura Kesten:For additional information, call Laura at 512-323-2058 or email: [email protected].
Check out our recently updated http://www.ILM.org today!Check out our recently updated http://www.ILM.org today!
ILM.org — the inner light Ministries WebsiteILM.org — the inner light Ministries Website
• Jim & Brian’s weekly talks – listen on-line or download to your computer or MP3 Over 100 recordings of weekly talks available • ILM Journals – the most recent issue as well as archives • Calendar of Events – find out what’s going on by geographic location or by minister • order CDs – you can get any and all of ILM’s CDs online • open-ended Meditations – you can listen to or download edited meditations that allow you to continue meditating for as long as you desire • “Initiates only” section – find out about Initiates events and listen to talks for Initiates
auG 6, SEPT 3, oCT 1, NoV 12 (second Friday), DEC 3
nitiates, remember to check out the recently updated version of the Initiate’s Handbook that has just been added to the
Initiate’s Only section of the website.
Whether you are newly initiated or a long-time initiate, this most current version of the Handbook contains information
that will be of special significance to you on your daily walk on the Path.
I
updated Initiate’s Handbook
On the 1st Friday of every month join the ILM community at Laura Kesten’s new apartment for fun, laughter, and to watch an uplifting movie. If you have a favorite movie that speaks to you, we’ll add it to our list. Come early (5-5:30 pm). Bring a dish if you want to add to the potluck. Movie starts between 7-7:30 pm. Everyone is welcome: 4330 Bull Creek Rd. Apt 2416 – park in lower garage or on street, north side of complex. Phone: 323-2058.
ilM CoMMuniTy ovie & PoTluCk nighTs:M
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SaTurDay, oCT 30 at 7 pmILM Center
t’s a potluck Halloween party! Wear your favorite costume,
brush up on your favorite spook-tacular tunes, and bring a dish from your mummy’s recipe!
Join us for a night of
ho l g good fun!
oin us for the Festival of Light celebration on WEDNESDAy, DEC 22
Howl-owe'enPotluck & Music
J
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oins For KidsCShopping Day will be on MONDAy, NOv 29.
Meet at 7 pm at Wal-Mart on Coldwater Rd.Please let us know by Nov. 24 if you can join the shopping elves!
Wrapping Party will be on TuESDAy, DEC 7.Meet at 6:30 pm at the ILM Midwest Center. (Note: pizzas and sodas will be provided.)
Extra bows, boxes, wrapping paper, and tape are always welcome!
ring your holiday spirit and come enjoy the food, the lights, the music and the fun; the gift of your presence is all that is needed to make the celebration complete!
he celebration begins at 7 pm
at Steven & Anita’s home in Fort Wayne.
Everyone is welcome!
B
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Holiday Events in Ft. WAyne:
I nner L ight M inistries CalendarI L Mpresented by steven MCafee, Midwest Coordinator:
For additional information, call Steven at 260-485-2167 or by e-mail at [email protected].
uesday Class series: T
(ILM Worldwide Calendar begins on next page)
eekend PrograMs:
ilM oMMuniTy nighTs:
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unday serviCes:S Steven occasionally serves as a guest speaker for various churches and spiritual groups in the Midwest. The following is presently scheduled:
oCT 24 11 am Regular Service Brigade of Light, Fort Wayne Donation
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sPeCial uesday Classes:T
Steven offers classes in Fort Wayne on Tuesday nights from 7-8:30 pm at the ILM Midwest Center. Part of each class is devoted to meditation and the rest of the class is a combination of ILM teachings and group discussion. The focus is upon our inner awakening to divine Loving.
Live from Austin! Special live video presentations by Jim and Brian via the magic of technology!
oCT 5, NoV 30 7-9:30 pm ILM Midwest Center Donation
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The eTreaT reTreaT:R
More fun community nights are on their way! Please rSVP the week before so we can plan appropriately. See page 9 for holiday events.
The Child At Heart programs are opportunities for children and the people who love them to come participate in fun activities together in ILM. December’s craft is ornament making. Materials will be provided.
oCT 28 6-7 pm Child At Heart: Pumpkin Transcendence ILM Center DonationDEC 13 6-7 pm Child At Heart: Making Christmas Bright ILM Center Donation
This is not a workshop, a seminar, or a conference; but a true retreat. It is designed in an open format to provide participants with time for their own individual spiritual practices. Prior registration is required. Space in this retreat is limited and scholarships are not available. Registration forms available at the ILM Midwest Center or upon request.
oCT 7-10 The Retreat Retreat GilChrist Three Rivers, Mich. $230
The SpiriTual paTh in ancienT TeXTS: This series is devoted to the discovery of inner spiritual teachings that are revealed, yet hidden, within the sacred texts of a variety of traditions. Steven will be highlighting texts from sacred literature that contain explicit references to the inner meditative path of Sound and Light and the “Unspoken Name of God.”
auG 21 1:30-4 pm Relevance of Gnostic Gospels Mother’s Trust Ganges, Mich. Donation oCT 2 12-5 pm The Messiah Fort Wayne Donation
(Potluck begins at 12:00 / Program begins at 1:30) NoV 11-14 Spiritual Path in Ancient Texts Retreat GilChrist Three Rivers, Mich. $230
Walking The paTh: Presenting different aspects of the Path of Sound and Light, these programs will include spiritual teachings, meditation, and discussion. The specific emphasis will change from program to program but the focus will always be on “Walking the Path” – in other words, what is the path and how do we truly live it in our daily lives?
auG 22 2-5 pm Walking the Path: Your Choice Kalamazoo Radisson DonationauG 28 12-5 pm Walking the Path: Awakening Souls ILM Center Donation
(Potluck begins at 12:00 / Program begins at 1:30) SEP 17-19 Retreat at Seasons Kalamazoo, Mich. $150
I nner L ight M inistries CalendarI L MCoMMunity ilM Meetings and events worldwide:
•
Each seminar will consist of a short meditation and the listening to a class CD by Jim and Brian. If interested please check with Jason for the most current date, time and location.
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KalaMazoo:
eeTing:
These groups supports our spiritual growth with a short meditation and the study of ILM books, CD’s or tapes. Come join us for an enriching experience of growing in our loving.
Tuesdays: auG 10, SEP 14, oCT 12, NoV 9 5-7 pm Judy Richards, 4715 Thistle Mill Ct., Kalamazoo No charge
Wednesdays: auG 25, SEP 29, oCT 27, NoV 24 1-3 pm Carolyn Dailey, 2485 Brahms Ave., Portage No charge
ChiCago: Call Loretta Lassandro at 708-481-7751 or e-mail [email protected].
Join us for meditation. Call in advance so adequate space can be prepared for all participants.
3rd Sunday 3:30-4:30 pm 125 Warwick Street in Park Forest No charge
eeTing:M
Call Teri Sandler at 719-359-9951 (home) or 719-661-0817 (cell).
dallas: Call Jason Baker at 972-571-8511 for dates, times and directions.
Connect with community and listen to Jim and Brian’s weekly meditation and talks.
2nd Sunday 2 pm (call for location) No charge
• eeTing:M
Colorado springs:
Call victoria Eng at 310-980-2224 to RSvP and get directions.
eeTing:Mlos angeles:
The focus of each evening is on spiritual awakening and connecting to the Loving through listening to an ILM meditation and talk by Jim and Brian. These seminars will be held every other Wednesday at Victoria and Willard Eng’s home in Beverlywood.
Call for dates 6 pm Beverlywood, Los Angeles No charge
Call Nanna Brinker at 0207-485-0699 for directions.
Join us for a short meditation and talk by Jim and Brian and share your favorite spiritual poetry, music and readings. Our ILM meetings are at 42A Montpelier Grove, London NW5, and start at 4 pm. On September 12 the meeting will be at Caroline’s in Sydenham - call Nanna for details.
Sundays auG 8 & 29, SEPT 12 (see above) & 26, oCT 17, NoV 28, DEC 12 No charge
• eeTing:M
london, england:
(ILM Worldwide Calendar continues on next page)
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Fun, enjoyable evenings with ILM friends, watching favorite movies having a spiritual message. Welcome all – yourself, friends and family members!
SEP 28, NoV 23 5:45-8 pm Judy Richards (see her address above) No charge
I nner L ight M inistries Calendar
n this packet you will find ILM’s book love and loving,the CD: an introduCtion to ilM,
the CD: understanding the ‘inner’ pathway, the CD: lotus Meditation,ILM’s brochure: inner light Ministries guidelines
for initiation and initiates, and a copy of our latest newsletter.
All of these materials have been selected to give a newcomera better understanding of who we are and what we’re about.
If you would like an Introductory Packet for yourself or someone else, just let us know.
Call us, email us, or write us! Feel free to take a look at our website too: www.ilm.org
(for more information see page 8). We are happy to do what we can to assist you
on your spiritual journey.
Blessings of Peace, Joy and Loving To you!
Jim Gordon, Brian yeakey, and The ILM Staff
2. Call Mig Gaspar at 808-638-8153 for information and directions. Listen to Jim and Brian’s weekly meditations and talks.
Tuesdays 7 pm North Shore of Oahu No charge
3. Call Brian Samo Ross at 808-247-3305 or 554-3305 (cell) for directions. Listen to Jim and Brian’s meditations and talks followed by a potluck.
2nd Sunday 10 am Kaneohe, Oahu No charge
eeTing:M
eeTing:M
eeTing:M
Share in a one-hour meditation and fellowship opportunity.
Mondays 6-7:30 pm Manoa Valley, Honolulu No charge
1. Call Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509, or 551-3123 (cell) for directions.
Remember, the Path of Sound and Light is a journey of experience, a journey of inner experience. So we need to allow ourselves the experience. This is how we learn. This is how we come to
know the truth of Spirit, not only the Divine truth of Spirit but also the truth of all things. – Brian Yeakey
CoMMunity ilM Meetings and events worldwide (Continued):
hawaii: Call the contact person for the following events.•
I L M
Welcome to Inner Light MinistriesIntroductory Packet
I
Welcome to Inner Light MinistriesIntroductory Packet
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it doesn’t mean anything.”
a: (Jim) There’s a lot of “its” on the way home to God. We are waking up to each level and having experience at each level as we journey homeward, and if we miss the next wrung on the ladder we may find that we really can’t get to the next wrung after that, or we may find we fall back down easily because we haven’t noticed that there is a step right in front of us that we can use to go up. So, everything is leading us Home. Everything. Even the most negative experience is a part of that journey back Home to God. It may sometimes seem like we are failing, but we are just on this journey and it is ever upward and downward – two steps forward, one step back, so to speak. But, ultimately, we do get Home, we do get to see the face of God.
a: (Brian) Jim and I talk about inner experience, spiritual experience, out of body experience – these are just all different types of experience – the word “experience” is the key. We can have experience inwardly as we are sitting here with our eyes open, or we could have our eyes closed in meditation where the body goes to sleep but we’re consciously travelling out of body in another realm. These are just experiences. So let it all be okay whether it’s inner experience, out of body experience, the inner kingdom, the outer kingdom, whatever it is. We simply are using terms to help people come into the greater understanding and have the clarity within ourselves so that we know what’s going on. So, make it all “normal.” Sometimes we may have these experiences and think they are “weird” or not “normal,” but it’s when we move into the ‘okayness’ of these experiences that we move into the acceptance and neutrality – and that’s when we step free. So part of the work, if you will, with LAF (Loving, Acceptance and Forgiveness), is truly coming into that neutral place of acceptance where it really is all okay no matter what the experience is. The key is always ‘experience and okayness’ because that’s where the freedom is; and then the soul can truly be multi-dimensional and free. It can be aware of the realms of Spirit and the realms of the body and everything in between all at the same time … and it’s just all okay … that’s the real freedom.
Q: I have these expectations of what an inner experience is. I’m guessing the ultimate inner experience is seeing the face of God, and so anything else that comes up is like, “What is that?”
a: (Jim) Everything – disturbance, anger, frustra-tion, pain, desire, need, want, longing, or whatever it is – is inner experience and part of our inner creation. It’s all things that we, the Divine in us, have created through the power of the mind, the emotions, and the body. And what we want to do is go within and clear those experiences through loving, acceptance and forgiveness so that all of it comes into alignment with the Divine Flow of the Loving that we are, and then our inner experiences are no longer focused down and out into the frustrations or anger, but rather inward and upward toward that Divine Flow.
Q: But, like I shared that strange but funny experience I had … I wouldn’t have categorized it as an inner experience because it certainly wasn’t the face of God; and yet, it was wonderful. So, I guess there can there be all kinds of inner experience then?
a: (Jim) right. It’s like a diamond. There are many facets to the diamond, and each facet aides to the beauty of the whole; and so it is with our inner experiences, which ultimately brings us to the fullness of the knowing, of the experience, of the Light and the Sound. So we are going to have many different expressions and experiences of that inner process.
Q: So, we just accept all of those experiences no matter what? It’s not any lesser just because it’s not the face of God?
a: (Brian) These are the experiences we need to walk through before we see the face of God. Each experience we have is a stepping stone to the top of the mountain; and then, once we get to the top, we fly beyond. But first we must get through all the steps.
Q: I realize there was a judgment going on inside of me of what I experienced. “That it’s not worth it. That
Q & awith JiM and Brian
(from Resurrection Thru Meditation, 4/08/07)
it, the fear was really nothing. Those experiences have been good reference points for me.
It also occurs to me that it’s easy to love myself for all those times when I did choose to move forward in spite of my fear. I haven’t always loved myself when I’ve let fear get the better of me. During those times, I’ve felt ashamed of myself; like a failure, a coward. I’ve had an internal judgment system set up, bestowing approval on myself when I chose loving over fear, anger, self-pity, or pride, but bestowing disapproval when I was unable to choose the loving.
Having witnessed Brian’s interaction with Gavin, I suddenly realized that I had never given myself permission to love not doing it. And, by not loving myself when I chose the fear, I’d actually keep myself in bondage. I saw that Gavin’s accepting himself for being afraid, and being comfortable with not going down the slide, was part of why he was able to let go. It was only then that he was able to go forward and actually move into the freedom he wanted. I suddenly saw that when Jim and Brian talk about moving into acceptance, they mean not only accepting the circumstances of life as they are outside us, but also accepting ourselves inside, just as we are.
The spiritual path is not a race, not a contest, not a thing we have to succeed at doing. It is really not even about the doing. It is about the loving. Loving everything, accepting everything – even those parts of ourselves that we think we are “supposed” to somehow spiritualize so that they don’t exist within us anymore. Before, I thought of freedom as the vanquishing of all those aspects of myself that I didn’t like. Now, I am seeing freedom as the genuine inner acceptance of who I am and what I do, just as I am. Gavin did not have to love the “doing” over the “not doing” – he had to love it all to find his freedom, to slide into the waters of the pond. And, I don’t need to love my “spiritual” choices over my “non-spiritual” choices. I only need to love it all to find the freedom I want to sail off into the waters of Spirit.
by Steven McAfee, ILM Minister
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Recently, an ILM member hosted a BBQ for Jim and Brian and the ILM community. Everyone, especially the kids and dog, enjoyed the large, beautiful
pond in the backyard, as the weather was Texas-style hot that day.
And so our six-year old grandson, Jayden, was having a grand time going down the big water slide. Our four-year old grandson, Gavin, decided to give it a try. He climbed all the way to the top just fine, but when he looked down the long slope into the water, he couldn’t bring himself to go down despite the encouragement of those around him. He climbed back down and came straight over to “Uncle Brian.” Gavin told him that he was afraid to go down the slide and asked what he should do about being afraid. Brian said, “Just keep loving it even though you’re scared, and just do it.” Gavin considered that for a moment and then replied, “But I don’t want to do it.” Brian smiled and said, “Well then, just keep loving it … and don’t do it.” Gavin relaxed, and ran off to play.
A short time later Gavin was back at the top of the slide again. And once again, after a few moments, instead of sliding, he climbed back down. Brian said, “He’s practicing. He’s getting himself ready.” Sure enough, just a little while later, there was Gavin, back on top of the slide. He sat a brief moment, and then slid down into the water with a splash! He came running up to Brian and said, “Uncle Brian, I did it! And guess what? It wasn’t as bad as I thought.” Brian chuckled and said, “You know what? If you do it again, I bet it will actually be really fun.”
Watching Gavin made me think about all the times in my life when there was something I wanted to do but didn’t because I was afraid. I thought about how often fear had denied me the fulfillment I wanted because I was afraid of the outcome; afraid of failing, afraid of how I would look, or afraid that I wouldn’t do it “right.” Of course, there were times when I chose to move forward even in the presence of my fear, and then I had been amazed at how, once I had moved through
oving it allL
Just the week before my friend’s dad passed, my nephew’s wife was killed in a motorcycle accident. Just seconds before the bike hydroplaned, she told my nephew to look over his shoulder at the beauty. They were vacationing through Texas and that part of Texas is flat and barren and dotted with oil wells. He said sarcastically, “Where?” She pointed to the single beam of light coming through the clouds. She had found something to be in awe of in that moment and she shared it with her husband. She hadn’t got caught up in the rain that had just begun. Instead, she chose to see the beauty before her. Like my friend’s dad, she was also a living demonstration of total acceptance of the moment she was in right then.
I once asked a group of people to write down everything that they wanted to experience if they had only a year to live. They got busy writing their lists and many of them had long lists. Then I asked them to reevaluate if they had six months to live. They got busy crossing things off their list. Then I asked them again to reevaluate if that had six weeks, then six days, then six hours, six minutes, six seconds. It’s a great exercise, really, because what the group found out was it wasn’t quite the “bucket list” they had thought it would be. Instead, they learned that what was most important to them was meditating, sharing Loving, Forgiveness, Acceptance, being in the moment, being in gratitude, sharing, laughing, letting go of the things in the past, letting go of the hurts, the judgments – all the things that had kept their hearts closed, that had kept them from experiencing God fully.
That’s the curious thing about life and death: we really don’t know when death is going to come, and we can choose to live each day as if we have a thousand more, or we can choose to live it as if it’s our last. We can start, right now, with putting God first in each moment, with meditating every day, with choosing Loving, Acceptance, and Forgiveness towards the plan God has set before us, and with being in gratitude for it all.
by Laura Kesten, ILM Minister
the urious thingabout life and death
Agood friend of mind lost his father recently from cancer. I had the honor of meeting his dad a few months before he passed. He was smiling and laughing
and joking around. I watched him, wondering what I would be doing, how I would be acting, if I knew I had a limited number of days left here on earth. Every day I do my meditation in preparation for that day but when it comes right down to it … I found myself sitting in silence, wondering, really, what would I do.
Just weeks before his passing, I watched as he struggled to get out of his chair. He wobbled to the kitchen, gave his two-cent input on the shrimp sauce. His hands shook as he ate, and I saw his concentrated effort to bring his food to his mouth. And all the time, he was chiding his wife, and telling stories about his dad and granddad and the family recipe for shrimp sauce. When he finished, he wiped a napkin across his face, and with a big smile, said he’s a bit tired and is going to lie down. A few hours later he emerged with a grin. While my friend and his mom made coffee, I decided to ask him how he does it – just how does he get through each day laughing and joking. With a twinkle he said, “The Lord has a plan for all of us, and this is the plan He has for me.” He continued, “I’ve never been angry with God for giving me this cancer, not even in the beginning, and not even now. I’ve embraced it and have looked for the good in it. Knowing my days are numbered has made every day a joy. And when the good Lord is ready to take me, I’ll be ready.” All I could say was, “Wow.”
Later I was thinking about his words, and I remembered something a great mystic once said – that we are all walking behind the donkey and the cart, and we can go either kicking and screaming or with ease and grace, but we will all follow the pathway God has set for us. I thought about all those times when I went kicking and screaming behind that cart. How much simpler it would have been to just move into acceptance and go with ease and grace.
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