2011 Colorado Gold Workshop Handouts-Short

Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers

2011 Colorado Gold Conference

Lifting Off

SEPTEMBER 9, 10, 11 Renaissance Hotel * I-70 and Quebec * Denver, Colorado

2011 Colorado Gold Page 1

2011 Colorado Gold Workshop Index NOTES:

1) Workshops are listed alphabetically by workshop title 2) This handout collection includes all handouts submitted by presenters, however, not all

presenters submitted handouts 3) This handout collection does NOT include Friday Morning Master Class handouts (which

were distributed directly to attendees) 4) Click on the workshop title to access handout 5) Some instructors have requested that attendees bring a hard copy of the handouts to class.

These are highlighted in *RED.

Belabor Him As You See Fit: Steam Punk Self Defense - Terry Kroenung 4

Conflict: The Engine That Drives Your Story – Cindi Myers 7

Creating Character Flaws – Sue Viders & Becky Martinez 8

E-Publishing: A Quick and Dirty Workshop on Formatting – j.a. Kazimer 9

Fair is Foul & Foul is Fair: Copyright, Infringement and Fair Use – Susan Spann 17

Fiction Genres: Where Does Your Book Fit – Linda Rohrbough 19

*From Proposal to Publication – What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Publish – Rachelle Gardner 23

Good Things Come in Small Packages – Sarah Joy Freese 26

Here Be Monsters: Writers Beware – Margie Lawson 36

*How Do You Know if You’ve Arrived if Don’t Know Where You’re Going/Business Plan Jones – Cynthia Richards 44

*How Do You Know if You’ve Arrived if Don’t Know Where You’re Going/Business Plan Template – Cynthia Richards 49

How to Write That Script - Chantelle Osman 52

*I’ve Been Here Before-Writing Effective Flashbacks – Karen Lin 57

Layering Complexity, Texture and Theme Using Subplot, Secondary Characters and Villans – Robin Perini 68

Let Your Characters Take the Wheel – Sue Viders and Becky Martinez 74

*Liposuction for Your Overweight Manuscript - Linda Berry 75


Literature and Liquor – Betsy Dornbusch, Lesley Smith, David Hughs 79

MA / MFA – What’s Next? - Sarah Joy Freese 87

MapTrapZap – Ron Heimbecher 95

Nice Guys Finish Last – Kay Bergstrom 100

*Perfecting the Pitch-Life isn’t Just an Elevator Ride – Karen Lin 103

*Police Procedures for Crime Writers: Writing Scenes That Will Work – Laura Manuel 104

Pow! Bang! Charge! Writing Physical Action Scenes – Susan Mackay Smith 157

Press Release Bootcamp – Susan Mitchell 161

Putting on the Moves: A Writers Guide to Body Language – Morgen Leigh 163

*Show AND Tell – Linda Berry 169

Show Me About Book Publishing (two parts) – Judith Briles 171

Takin’ It In the Shorts – Ron Heimbecher 193

The Art and Craft of Voice - Carol Berg and Susan Mackay Smith 197

The Devil’s Cup: Poisons – Martha Husain 200

The Faster I Go, The Behinder I Get – Becky Clark 233

*The Fearless Writer: Discovering YOUR Story – Laura Baker 239 (NOTE FOR ABOVE** please have these 5 items on hand in the class: title of your manuscript, first line of your manuscript, last line of your manuscript, the sentence or paragraph with the most unusual or significant detail, and the most important line.) The Nitty Gritty of Book Promotion – Laura DiSilverio 243 Turn Your Research into Revenue – Becky Clark 247

What Was the Question: Keeping Your Story on Track – Mario Acevedo, Jeanne Stein and Warren Hammond 251

Writing Dynamic Flash Fiction – Chantelle Osman 255

Writing Historicals and Memoirs – Joyce Ellison Moore 257

Writing Paranormal Worlds - Mario Acevedo, Jeanne Stein and Warren Hammond 261


Creating character Flaws

Sue Viders [email protected] andBecky Martinez [email protected]

Use this wheel for each of your main characters. Although most of these flaws are timeless, someare better used with certain genres, specific timeperiods.

• Addictions___________________________________________________________________

• Attitudes____________________________________________________________________

• Too much ______________________________________________________________

• Too little _______________________________________________________________

• Beliefs ______________________________________________________________________

• Emotions____________________________________________________________________ • Fears______________________________________________________________________________________

• External ______________________________________________________________

• Internal_______________________________________________________________

• Habits______________________________________________________________________

• Obsessions__________________________________________________________________

• Prejudices __________________________________________________________________

• Secrets_____________________________________________________________________

• Seven Sins__________________________________________________________________

Check out our writing site - writethatnovel.com and our critique blog - http://thecritiquecorner-writethatnovel.blogspot.com/

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E-Publishing: A Quick and Dirty Workshop on Formatting for E-Publication by j.a. Kazimer This guide is designed to help you upload your first ebook to amazon.com. It is a very basic guide, and should be used as a starting point in your e-publishing journey. For a more detailed style guide or to troubleshoot your ebook, please refer to the Smashwords Style Guide by Mark Coker at http://www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/52/1/smashwords-style-guide Format Your Manuscript Step 1 ~

Open .doc file in Microsoft word and save a copy of the file as TITLE_ebook.doc. FILE > SAVE AS Step 2 ~

Make sure your formatting toolbar is visible. VIEW > TOOLBARS > FORMATTING

Step 3 ~

Select all of your manuscript EDIT > SELECT ALL Step 4 ~

Take a deep breath and clear all formatting in your manuscript using your Formatting toolbar. Using the CLEAR FORMATTING drop down. Make sure to remove any page numbers, and headers or footers.


Step 5 ~

Save your work. FILE > SAVE Step 6 ~

Reformat your manuscript using the formatting below. EDIT > SELECT ALL > FORMAT >PARAGRAPH

Make sure that your Indentation (Special) is set to First Line by 0.5.


Step 7 ~

Continue reformatting, this time reformatting text. FORMAT > FONT > Times New Roman (or other standard text font)

Continue reformatting, this time reformatting chapter and centering. Select your chapter heading and select HEADING 1 from your Formatting Toolbar

Next, reselect your chapter heading and Center (if you wish). Step 8 ~

Review your manuscript and re-italicize any italic lost during the reformatting. The same should be down for bold or underlined text as well.

Step 9 ~

Add your artwork to front page (must be at least 300 dpi)

INSERT > PICTURE > FROM FILE Add your copyright, title, and author information after artwork Example:

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and

incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used

fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to

persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely

coincidental.


E-Formatting: A Quick & Dirty Guide. Copyright © 2011 by j.a.kazimer.

All Rights Reserved. For more information, contact OBSCURE

Publishing, Denver, Colorado.

FIRST EDITION

Step 9 ~ Save your work. Step 10 ~

Check your formatting by saving the file as a .RTF and converting it in Calibre (http://calibre-ebook.com/). Download the Calibre file to your e-reading device. If the formatting looks good, prepare to upload to Amazon.

Upload to Amazon https://kdp.amazon.com Step 1 ~

Download Kindle reader for PC (or whatever device you will read your book on) http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=sa_menu_karl3?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Step 2 ~ Sign up for direct publishing at https://kdp.amazon.com/self-publishing/signin Step 3 ~ Upload your book. Bookshelf View


Click on Add a New Title

Fill in the required information



Upload your book cover. Make sure your artwork is in a .JPEG file (300 DPI and at least 700 pixels wide)

Make sure to upload the .DOC file.

Preview the file. If it looks good, continue to publish it. If it doesn’t, refer to the smashwords style guide for tips.

Smashwords Formatting Style Guide ~ http://www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/52/1/smashwords-style-guide

Next, click to continue to pricing


Click save and publish.

Your bookshelf should reflect the book is In Review. From there it takes about 48 hours for the book to go live. When your book is listed as Published, it is now available for purchase. Purchase it and download to your reading device. Check the formatting. If it looks good, congratulations you have published your first ebook. If it has formatting errors, refer to the smashwords style guide for additional (detailed) formatting instructions.


ROCKY MOUNTAIN FICTION WRITERS COLORADO GOLD CONFERENCE 2011 Fair is Foul & Foul is Fair: Copyright, Infringement, and Fair Use

Lecture Outline/Handout I. Copyright Basics A. Copyright protects original creative works which are fixed in a tangible medium B. Protection is automatic and attaches at time of creation C. Works no longer (or never) subject to copyright are “in the public domain” II. Requirements for Valid Copyright A. Copyright protection lasts for a statutory period i. Individual authors: life of the author + 70 years ii. Entity “authors”/works for hire: 90 years from first publication or 120 years from date of creation, whichever comes first B. Copyrightable Subject Matter i. “Copyright protection [exists] ... in original works of authorship fixed in any tangible medium of expression, now known or later developed, from which they can be perceived, reproduced, or otherwise communicated, either directly or with the aid of a machine or device...” (TL;DR: Originality + Fixation) ii. Merger Doctrine: Where a topic requires or permits only one or a very limited range of expressions, copyright is weak or nonexistent iii. Useful Article Doctrine: No copyright in useful/functional articles if design is inseparable from function. C. Originality/Independent Creation (threshold for protection) i. Copyrightable Originality: a work which is independently created by the author and possesses a minimal degree of creativity. ii. “Creativity” requires “more than a trivial variation on prior work” iv. Beware of plagiarism D. Fixation in a Tangible Medium of Expression E. Compliance with Formalities a. Requirement for enforcement but does not affect existence of copyright. III. Rights Associated with Authorship/Copyright Ownership A. Control over copying and distribution (or lack thereof) B Enforcement – the right to sue infringers and receive damages C. Control over Derivative Works D. Right to control public performance & display E. Moral Rights F. Authors may license, sell or assign some or all rights to another person or entity - Contracts (Licenses)/Works for Hire/Joint Works


IV. Copyright infringement A. Requirements: (1) ownership of a valid copyright, and (2) copying of significant original elements of the work. B. Contributory Infringement V. Defenses to Infringement A. License/Permission (from the copyright holder or by operation of law) B. Uses which fall within the “Fair Use Doctrine” i. “Fair Use” is a legal (and limited) right to use and reproduce parts of copyrighted works for “legitimate purposes including criticism, comment, reporting, teaching, scholarship and research” (17 USC §107) ii. Fair Use Test (facts and circumstances, no bright line) a. Purpose and character of the use b. Nature of the original copyrighted work c. Amount and substantiality of the portions used d. Effect of the use on the potential market for the original iii. Fair Use cannot have any material negative impact on marketability of the original work. C. Parody (vs. Satire) D. Independent Creation E. Consent/License F. Inequitable Conduct/Fraud (on the Copyright Office) G. Statute of Limitations (3 years from the date the claim accrues) Disclaimer: Publishing and copyright law contain a wide range of terms and conditions and apply differently in various fact-specific circumstances. This presentation does not attempt to describe them all. Attendees are advised to consult an attorney about legal issues. Information presented at the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers’ Colorado Gold Conference is intended for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice or an agreement to provide representation. This document may not be published, reproduced or reprinted without the author’s permission.

Copyright Resources Online

Berne Convention on the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works http://www.wipo.int/treaties/en/ip/berne/index.html Copyright/Public Domain Calculator Chart http://copyright.cornell.edu/resources/publicdomain.cfm Plagiarism – Information and Resources http://www.plagiarism.org/ U.S. Copyright Office http://www.copyright.gov/ U.S. Copyright law (17 U.S.C. 101 et seq.) http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode17/usc_sup_01_17.html


http://www.wipo.int/treaties/en/ip/berne/index.html�

http://copyright.cornell.edu/resources/publicdomain.cfm�

http://www.plagiarism.org/�

http://www.copyright.gov/�

http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode17/usc_sup_01_17.html�

Fiction Genres Workshop Handout

Sponsored by Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers Colorado Gold Conference 2011 Presented by Linda Rohrbough

Linda’s Four Principles:

1) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4) ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: This is my best advice. Take what you can use and leave the rest.

The Problems:

1. Popular Writing Advice: Don’t consider genre, write the book of your heart 2. The Language Barrier, Genre terminology is confusing 3. Once the “book of your heart” is written, how do you label it?

Answering “The Question”

What kind of writer are you? Choose up to three genre categories, but no more. Avoid “I write anything.”

Fiction Genres* Adventure: Emphasis is on a plot centered on a chase or retrieval of some object from a hostile environment.

Popular author: Clive Cussler. Word count: 100,000-140,000. Historical: Emphasis is on the setting, which is true to some time in the past, usually 100 years ago or more.

Popular authors: James Michener, Patrick O'Brien. Word count: 100,000-140,000. Inspirational: Fiction focused on the affect of God and religion on the characters; typical stories include

spiritual themes (Christian), the mission of the church, religious prophecy, and spirituality in daily lives. Popular authors: Tim LaHaye & Jerry Jenkins. Word count: 80,000 to 100,000.

Juvenile: Fiction written for children and adolescents. Subgenres: Middle grade: Aimed at children ages 8-12, about others like themselves who are the hero

and the main problem solver in the story. Popular author: Gary Paulsen. Word count: 10,000 to 15,000.

Picture books: Dominated by illustrations with typical themes of family, friendship, animals, and monsters, aimed at ages birth to 8. Popular authors: Bernard Waber, Mem Fox. Word count: 200-800.

Young Adult: Novels written with teenagers as the focus of the story; typical stories deal with adolescent problems, angst, insecurities, and maturing. Aimed at ages 12 and up. Popular authors: Laurie Halse Anderson, Judy Blume. Word count: 35,000 to 50,000


(Note: See www.scwbi.org for more information since juvenile titles tend to be based on page counts, not word counts, because these books are usually less than the standard 250 words to a page.)

Literary: Characterized by an eloquence of expression and a philosophical bent. Stories tend to be about human failings and interaction and are not plot driven. Popular authors: John Updike, Joyce Carol Oates. Word count: 100,000 to 120,000.

Mainstream (General): Novels about ordinary life written in language that doesn’t challenge the reader, novels aimed at the broadest possible audience, and extremely popular novels. Popular author: Jan Karon. Word count: minimum 80,000 to 120,000. Subgenres: Women’s Fiction: Dealing with women’s issues, like families, sister relationships, etc.

Popular author: Alice Walker, Rebecca Wells. Word count: 75,000 to 90,000. Chick Lit: Modern, twenty- or thirty-something heroine looking for the perfect

relationship, told usually in a sassy, irreverent voice. Popular authors: Helen Fielding, Jane Green, Sophie Kinsella. Word count: 65,000 to 95,000.

Mystery: A who-dun-it. Centered on crime, usually murder, it’s the author’s job to create a puzzle for the reader to solve and not unveil the answer until the end. Popular author: Sue Grafton. Word count: 50,000 to 65,000. Subgenres: Cozy or Amateur Sleuth: A "traditional" mystery usually in a domestic setting with little

violence shown to the reader and solved by an amateur sleuth or eccentric professional. Popular authors: Diane Mott Davidson, Agatha Christie. Word count: 60,000 to 90,000.

Hard-Boiled: Hero is usually a private detective (a loner) solving violent crimes, lots of action. Popular author: Robert Crais. Word count: 80,000 to 100,000

Police Procedural: A team of police officers solve case(s) emphasizing the technical aspects of investigation. Modern police procedurals often develop the characters and interactions of the police in great depth. Popular author: Ed McBain. Word count: 60,000 to 80,000

Romance: A story about a woman and a man overcoming obstacles to end up happily together. Subgenres: Romantic Suspense: Mix of Romance and Suspense with emphasis on Romance.

Popular author: Anne Solomon, Tami Hoag. Word count: minimum 40,000 to 120,000.

Historical Romance: Mix of Romance and Historical with emphasis on Romance. Popular author: Jodi Thomas. Word Count: 40,000 to 95,000.

Single Title Contempory Romance: A romance set in a modern time with everyday characters, but not part of a series. Popular author: Susan Elizabeth Phillips. Word count: minimum 70,000 to 140,000.

Series Romance: Romance novels that together form a continuing story, such as the marriage of each brother in a family, and usually involves characters who have long-standing relationships. Popular authors: Nora Roberts, Joan Johnston. Word Count: 80,000 to 140,000

Futuristic/Time Travel/Paranormal: Mix of Romance and future settings, time travel or paranormal with emphasis on Romance. Popular author: Jayne Castle. Word count: 80,000 to 100,000.

Inspirational Romance: Mix of Romance and Inspirational with emphasis on Romance. Popular author: Francine Rivers. Word count: 80,000 to 120,000.

Romantic Comedy: Mix of Romance and Comedy with emphasis on Romance. Popular authors: Shari MacDonald, Jennifer Crusie. Word count: 40,000 to 70,000.

(Note: See www.rwa.org contest category and judging guidelines for more subgenre definitions and word counts.)


Suspense: Plot centers around the commission of a crime and the protagonist struggles against a strong villain and crummy odds to win. Popular authors: Patricia Highsmith, Harlan Coben. Word count: 65,000 to 75,000.

Speculative Fiction: Fiction built around subjects or settings around which there is speculation. Subgenres: Science Fiction: Characterized by an emphasis on the future and often on

technology. Popular author: Frank Herbert. Word count: 80,000 to 120,000. Fantasy: Stories with an emphasis on magic, imaginary things, and/or other

worlds. Popular author: Anne McCaffrey. Word count: 75,000 to 100,000. Horror: Dark stories designed to illicit fear, dread and sleepless nights in the

reader. Popular authors: Stephen King, Dean Koontz. Word count: 100,000 to 120,000.

Paranormal: Supernatural abilities on the part of the characters, especially the protagonist. Popular author: Anne Rice. Word count: 80,000 to 120,000.

Thriller: Like suspense, we see the villain at work and the protagonist is up against long odds, but the pace is break-neck and the stakes are people’s lives. Popular author: Patricia Cornwell. Word count: 80,000-120,000.

Subgenres: Medical Thriller: Thrillers where the crime is medical in nature. Popular authors: Tess Gerritsen, Michael Crichton. Word count: 80,000 to 120,000.

Legal Thriller: Thrillers where the crime is legal in nature and involves lawyers and the courts. Popular authors: John Grisham, David Baldacci, Scott Turow. Word count: 80,000 to 120,000.

Western: Emphasis is on the setting in the American West, usually in the past. Popular authors: Richard S. Wheeler, Elmer Kelton, Louis L'Amour. Word count: 65,000 to 75,000. *Genres are in alphabetical order, not order of popularity. This is by no means a comprehensive list. And these are general definitions based on research; individual opinions of authors, agents, editors and publishers can and will vary. ** First time authors are advised to stay on the low end of the word count. Linda’s acknowledgment: Many thanks go to Pam McCutcheon and Laura Hayden of Pikes Peak Writers for their time and expertise in contributing to this table.

Books with Genre Information Writer's Market FAQs by Peter Rubie 20 Master Plots (And How to Build Them) by Ronald B. Tobias The Marshal Plan for Novel Writing by Evan Marshall Making Crime Pay: A Practical Guide to Mystery Writing by Stephanie Bendel How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy by Orson Scott Card Writing the Modern Mystery by Barbara Norville How to Write Horror Fiction by William Nolan How to Write Romances by Phyllis Taylor Pianka How to Write Western Novels by Matthew Braun How to Write Action Adventure Novels by Michael Newton

National Organizations Devoted to Specific Genres American Christian Fiction Writers, www.acfw.com American Crime Writers League, www.acwl.org Horror Writers Association, www.horror.org Mystery Writers of America, www.mysterywriters.org


National Association of Science Writers, www.nasw.org Romance Writers of America, www.rwa.org Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, www.sfwa.org Sisters in Crime, www.sistersincrime.org Western Writers of America, www.westernwriters.org Genre Popularity by Category*

2009 Fiction Data According to the Romance Writers of America Romance: $1.36 billion Religion/Inspirational: $770 million Mystery: $674 million Science fiction/fantasy: $554 million Classic literary fiction: $462 million

2004 Data According to the Romance Writers of America Romance: 33.8 percent (over $1 billion in sales annually) Mystery: 25.6 percent Mainstream (or General): 24.9 percent Science Fiction: 6 percent Other Fiction: 9.7 percent (western, adventure, male, history, movie tie-ins)*

*Source Romance Writers of America, Inc., www.rwa.org (*Note: RWA is slicing up the genres to show a comparison with Romance. This is not intended

to show how genres are divided.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Presented by: Linda Rohrbough Website: www.LindaRohrbough.com E-mail: [email protected] Facebook: www.Facebook.com/LindaRohrboughAuthor


From Proposal to Publication What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Publish

RMFW September, 2011

Workshop overview • Agents • Querying • Editors • Contracts • Editorial process • Production

Reasons to have an agent–personal

• Do I need an agent? Yes! • Publishers prefer it. • Pre-submission editing & preparing professional proposal • Knowing the editors and submitting to them • Negotiating offers (editors don’t want to negotiate with authors) • Negotiating contracts • Keeping track of the publication process, especially payments

More reasons to have an agent

• Your advocate in every step of the process (deadlines, covers, titles) • Constant advice, answering all questions • Career shaping, helping guide you toward success • Keeping your relationship with the publisher clean and positive • Can be a constant through changing publishers, genres, etc. Long haul. • THINK BEYOND THE SALE

How Authors (Collectively) Benefit From Agents

• Agents have been on the front lines when it comes to advocating for authors in their relationships with publishers

• All things related to money – size of advances, royalties rates and breaks, payout schedule

• Electronic rights recently • Agents collectively have the knowledge and the clout to duke it out with publishers

on a contract-by-contract basis, holding ground for authors Querying

• Multiple submissions: batch it • Submission guidelines • Expect long waits & instant response & everything in between • If you’re getting only form rejections… • Remember that queries are lowest on the agent priority list


What to Expect from an Agent • Has a strong track record of selling books to legitimate publishers and/or has

experience in the publishing industry • Has access to the right publishers and editors • Understands books, literature, and the power of words • Is ethical and abides by the guidelines of the AAR

More What to Expect from an Agent

• Handles business aspects of your career • Ongoing source of support, intervenes with the publisher when necessary • Is responsive and communicative. • Will offer guidance, tell the truth, give an informed opinion when you need it. • Is interested in your career and future, helping you grow as a writer • Is your biggest fan and closest ally

What NOT to Expect from an Agent

• Your agent can’t be your daily phone buddy • They won’t usually play hardball or bargain till they drop • They don’t have unlimited patience • They do not publicize or market your books

Questions to ask an agent

• Openers • Legal stuff • About the Agent • Agent Process • Money • Career & Editorial issues

Once you have an agent – what will happen

• Administrative details • Agent works with your project. May edit, may help you with proposal. • Makes their submission list • Writes their pitch letter • Submits to editors

How do editors make their decisions?

• 3-tiered decision: idea, execution, platform • Fiction: execution is first, followed by idea • Non-fiction: platform is primary, followed by idea. execution can be dealt with.

More on editors decisions

• P&Ls, comp titles and sales figures, envision the marketing and sales pitch • An editor’s reputation and career hang in the balance with every acquisition!


How to Write that Scriptby Chantelle Aimée Osman

Do:

* Use correct grammar.

* Write the story with visuals.

* Keep exposition nontechnical and brief. Characters talk to each other, not to the audience.

* Limit descriptions to what’s visible on screen.

* Describe new characters using colorful metaphors.

* Consider using once scene with carefully scripted action and dialogue instead of a montage.

* Keep flashbacks brief, and ideally only use them if they form a subplot.

* Think carefully before you use narration, and if you do, move the focus quickly to the action.

* Keep scenes to 2-3 pages and the entire screenplay between 90-120 pages.

* Include one unforgettable scene, and at least one line of unforgettable dialogue (Gary DeVore).

* Avoid clichéd romance. If you don’t want to play it out, hint at it.

* Keep sex scenes in line with the tone of the overall script.

* Give your movie a great title.

Don’t:

* Write a shooting script (directions for editors, cinematographers and directors).

* Write an encyclopedia entry. The audience doesn’t need to understand in detail every scientific/technological element.

* Show us what the character is thinking (use actions/dialogue instead).

* Be too specific with brands, clothing or cars (this could date your script - unless it’s a period piece).

* Describe characters in a laundry list of facts.

* Wrap up the climax/big action scene in one sentence.

* Confuse with complicated scenes. Rework chaotic scenes with clarity, coherence and brevity.

* Ignore the laws of physics or logic. You don’t want viewers distracted by wondering how someone did something while the movie plays on. This goes for sci-fi too, when you create a world, create limitations and rules the characters must follow.

* Write a script because a particular trend is hot right now. It will be over by the time it’s made.

1

How to Write that Script ⓒ A Twist of Karma Entertainment, LLC


Basic Formatting Rules:

* Use Courier 12 point font.

* Margins: Left (1.5), Right (0.5), Top & Bottom (1)

* Page numbers in upper right hand corner, double space following)

* First page begins “FADE IN” and last page ends “FADE OUT”.

* Four Basic Elements:

* Slugline (scene heading): In caps, tell if interior/exterior, the location, and the time.

* Action: Below the slugline, single spaced, present tense. Describes what’s happening on screen, and what characters appear.

* Character Name: Appears in caps above the dialogue (at 3.7 inches)

* Dialogue: Single spaced, below character name, no quotes (2.5 inches from left, 3-3.5 inches wide).

Basic Structure:

* Act 1: Present ‘normal world’ of your film, at end of act should be a point of no return. (25-35 pages)

* Includes page-turning page 1, and inciting incident page 5.

* Conflict laid out around page 17.

* First plot turning point at end of the first act.

* Act 2a: Protagonist reacts to changes in their world (30 pages).

* Act 2b: Protagonist stops reacting and takes control (15+ pages), include mini-climax.

* Second plot turning point occurs at the end of the second act.

* Act 3: Protagonist’s false victory undone, setbacks, new information given leads towards resolution.

2

How to Write that Script ⓒ A Twist of Karma Entertainment, LLC


For the writing sake: Create a fully realized story world

1) to show instead of tell backstory. 2) add dimension to the writing and create richer drama

3) add suspense - ex: from Karen’s new book – a) we learn of character’s avoidance of media cameras b) we learn of the character’s fear of her true identity being discovered by the public c) we learn her mother disappeared when she was a young girl and that she blamed herself d) we learn that she was a witness protection kid and she has long believed that her mother was killed because she told her friend her real name e) she fears exposure can make her own daughter vulnerable.

4) Sometimes the benefits outweigh the sacrifice of immediacy. 5) Whenever you can, contrast events, people, or objects in fiction. Contrast is a powerful tool. Ex: In No One Asked the River, a screenplay by

Karen Lin and Janet Fogg, the main character, an archeologist, lost his son in an accident on a dig. He still blames himself. It affects him when another young boy dies on his watch. This contrasts this POV character before and after a traumatic experience. In Karen’s novel, Mu Shu Mac-N-Cheese, the visiting Mother-in-law’s insistence on Feng Shui-adjusting the POV character’s house into “submission” is informed by a previous visit by a relative that used Feng Shui to structurally redesign that same house.

A flashback works when: - getting across backstory through dialogue would be cumbersome or unrealistic. - “show versus tell” makes narrative less appealing. - is in unobtrusive and allows front story to press ahead. - you enter them at the last possible moment and leave as quickly as you can. - you’ve made the reader want to know the past, especially if it relates to a desperate

goal. - the reader absolutely needs certain information from the past. - you keep it short. - you only put it in where you integrate it into current story and where it informs

reader about current actions. Ex: If we see a man performing an exotic ceremony before killing his daughter, we’ll want to know what that was all about.

- you break it up into smaller chunks if a lot must be put forward. ex: Karen’s novel Mu Shu Mac-N-Cheese. This also created mystery.

- you keep the time sense clear. Remember the different gradations of the past: Story in past tense? going into flashback use past perfect “she had…” to clue readers into time frame in the past (one or a few then

use past tense and at end of flashback use complex past again to clue) Story in present tense? when going into flashback use past tense to clue readers into time frame in the past (all backstory can be in past tense) - your current plot is to some degree the product of events that came earlier. - regardless of the tense you use, transitions will make entry into a flashbacks more

clear: She closed her eyes. Suddenly she was ten years old again. Her Dad threw her favorite shirt across the room.


- it is fascinating to the reader apart from the information being conveyed. - the flashback is in first person or deep third person and from the perspective of the

character who has the most to lose. - a story element needs to be worked in. ex: starting with a murder then jumping

ahead two years to Jim’s probation hearing would be clumsy. A flashback doesn’t work when: - it comes too early – first chapter is discouraged - it’s so long that your real story is likely in the past. - you do it too often (irritating) unless you are telling a story like Tim O’Brien’s

The Things They Carried. - it seems like only an info-dump (backstory dialogue is notorious for this). - you wait too long to give the flashback (frustrating to reader). - you give so much backstory that the novel lacks suspense. - you use it to “run away from conflict” James N. Frey warns in How to Write a Damn

Good Novel. - it stops or slows the pace of your book. - it isn’t tightly linked to the front-story. - if it confuses the reader about what exactly the story is. Ex: set up rule early as Tim

O’Brien did in The Things They Carried. - it interrupts the momentum you’ve built. - it happens in an action scene like running from a murderer. - you go from one flashback into an even earlier one. - you use too many. - a conversation between characters can impart their life stories elegantly. - you provide more information than is necessary. - it could be more clearly provided in the form of a prologue, thus keeping it

separate from the rest of the story. - it follows a weak scene (or sequel) - it is confusing (better not to do it than to do it poorly). Some authors choose to

put them in italics. - it is before we know a character pretty well since we won’t care about his past. - put into the first chapter (usually) because it stops momentum of story at a time

when reader hasn’t yet invested in the ride you are taking him on – let alone what happened previously.

- your narrator is omniscient. That generally won’t work since there can’t be as much psychological impact. Deep third person and first person work well.

- the reader can surmise the same information from the dialogue and action of current story. - you don’t orient the reader – time and place and who is present. - you use clear ( like dreams), elegant, subtle techniques like Match Cut (ex: from Karen’s new book lock visual to different lock in past) - you fail to clearly let the reader know that you are leaving the present.

Ex: “She remembered the day her mother signed her divorce papers. She had crumpled them in her sweaty hands….” Then use past perfect “had” one or two times, then past tense within the flashback, and clue reader when coming back to present by using past perfect tense again before heading back into past tense. “She had vowed never to do what her parents had done. But


now wasn’t the time to think about her mother. She needed to plan the wedding and…”

Past past perfectpast within flashbackpast perfectpast or presentpastpresent

DO - Use only when insight is necessary to fill in gaps. - Be sure you are clear about what you are trying to accomplish within a given scene. - Make careful choices about what to reveal and what to leave out. - Make it riveting. - Use it to clarify how a world works. - Use it following an action-filled strong scene. Then it can act like a sequel if it isn’t

equally riveting as what just came before it. - Use when connected to present action. - Use when reader wants to know more about past. - Keep it short. - Dole out pieces of information in bits and pieces – this creates mystery and makes

reader want to read on to learn more. DON’T Stay in a flashback too long. Better to give bits over time if a lot needs to be conveyed. Don’t leave characters dangling while we go in the past. Connect to current action. Editors and Agents and Readers Readers are often the most accepting of this technique. Acceptance of Flashbacks by agents and editors is all over the board. 50 years ago it was typical to use flashbacks. Now, they are often resisted because they are believed to crush the impetus of your story chronology, slow the read, and/or they are considered “old news” in your story. They must be done very well to be successful in today’s market of immediacy. If told you should get rid of your flashback: Be sure your advisor is right and not just blanket-prejudiced against the technique,

check with your critique partner/s, be sure you agree with the assessment. Revise the chapter to remove the flashback completely. Develop a timeline for the story and consider starting the action earlier. Delete the first three chapters if you’ve begun too early, and weave the backstory into

the novel through dialogue and dramatic narrative. Have the POV character spend less time alone thinking (Too much thinking

often leads to unnecessary flashbacks) Add a character that can help you integrate backstory through indirect dialogue (not on the nose).

Use dramatic narrative NOT just a summary of facts. Don’t include it all; the reader doesn’t need to know as much as the writer does.

(Historical writing can have too much detail – thanks to loads of research. Fantasy writers need to realize that the world of the story will loom larger in your head than it will on the page. Accept that.) © Karen Albright Lin


Present tense past tense present tense

Sharon stares out her bedroom window. Condensation blocks most of the view. It

takes her back to that other dreary day five years ago, the day that changed her world

forever. James puddled there in the ICU, machines trying to pump the life into him…

{past tense}

….It crushed her to watch him slowly evaporate. Life as she knew it stopped.

She bonks her head on the damp window and rubs her forehead in a circle on

the cold pane. She knows darn well that pitying herself is only sabotaging her

recovery.

--- flashback is triggered by a dreary day


Set up: Elaine, the POV character, is standing with her mother-in-law outside the bathroom door, worrying over Elaine’s husband who is in there after starting to feel very sick.

{longer flashback}

No sounds came from within except a few faint sighs. For a small guy, he

usually peed like a horse.

“Okay in there?” Elaine touched the door handle.

“Uh huh.”

“Whoooooo.” Ma whistled, knocked with a single knuckle, then whistled

again.

Elaine understood why Ma was whistling.

[quick time trigger to past perfect]

[A few months after one of Pei’s nephews, Yang-Hao, was born, she’d visited

the family. One morning she’d awoken desperate to use the restroom.]

(transition to past tense)

(She teetered toward the bathroom, awkwardly clamping her legs and giving it

her Kegel-clutching all to help her make it. The door was open. But all hope of

comfort evaporated. Inside, her sister-in-law, Jen, held baby Hao over spread

newspapers. They must have been in that position for a while; they were both red-

faced. Hao’s little legs kicked furiously, seeking solid ground.


Finally a look of joy passed over Jen’s face, and she whistled a few measures

of a steady alto note. “Whooooo.” Below her a stream flowed from Hao’s niao niao.

It was definitely high-low-high tone.

“Do this enough,” she said, “he will connect whistle with niao niao and I put

him front of toilet and he go for hearing whistle.”

“Pavlov,” Elaine said. The image of a tethered salivating hound tickled,

punctuating her own painful predicament. She tensed her thighs.

Jen explained that the whistle method had long been used by Chinese mothers

eager to potty train their babies.

Elaine didn’t know if she could make it through too much more positive

reinforcement.

Jen, nude baby Hao on hip, rolled up the thick carpet of damp advertisements,

checked for moisture underneath and waved Elaine in.)

[Bringing insight from past into present]

[It dawned on Elaine: Pei had always been willing to sing but rarely whistled.

Pei’s family claimed a ticklish man was easily controlled by his wife. What

massive amount of power, then, could a whistle bestow upon his wife? The

knowledge could come in handy if she ever felt devious.

That thought ended in a smile], (which quickly dissolved when Ma whistled.

…

Notice:This flashback is long enough that is was necessary to go from past

tense to past perfect (signal in) to past tense to past perfect (signal we’re about to

come out) and then back to past tense.


Set up… The main character’s mother-in-law is totally rearranging their home in the name of Feng Shui.

{past tense – current action} [Current dramatic narrative triggers transition.]

[They’d been through something similar when Pei’s cousin came to visit a few

years ago. Unbeknownst to Pei, Chang, a mushroom-of-a-man with an ill-fitting

toupée, had been feng shui-trained in Taiwan. He had entered their home, taken off

his shoes, and barely offered a moment of small talk before traipsing about, judging

their decorative choices.

He’d even invaded their bedroom and clicked his tongue, a gun cocking.

“…that painting above your headboard is all fault. Too small. Wrong colors. Use

big. Lots of red.”

She’d imagined a huge tacky poster of a poppy from Frame it Yourself. Then

she silently repeated a mantra. “I love my husband. I love my husband.”

For a few months after Chang’s home analysis, Pei had paid inordinate,

obnoxious attention to the feng shui reference book the fungus cousin left behind.]

{back to past tense and current action}

Notice:

Begins as dramatic narrative and sneaks into a short flashback. This flashback is so short there’s no need to switch from past perfect to past tense then past perfect then back to past tense.

Short Flashback = ptpppt


Set up: My first person POV character is a serial killer and he’s stalking his next victim.

Rushing with tiny steps, hips thrown off, in those clunky boots, the Goth girl

with the red lipstick disappeared into Sole Sisters shoe store.

The curb, cool under my shorts, I rubbed along it right up to her old blue

Schwinn bike. I played with the black on silver combination lock, twirled the dial,

flipped the lock hard once, moved the face again. [It spun me back in time.] It was

similar to the ones dotting the long row of outdoor lockers near my father’s restaurant

in the big city. I’d only seen my father use one of the mysterious lockers once.

Though I was only two weeks from turning ten, (I found enough courage to sneak

after him while my mother was gone shopping.

I squeezed onto the subway and ducked behind others so he wouldn’t see me,

swam through crowds following him as he walked past the little boutique clothing

stores and a tight line of men in suits at the bus stop.

The grin on Father’s face as he walked to the lockers had me convinced he

was aware that I’d been following him. I waited, not wanting to yell to him and run

giggling into his arms, just yet. I wanted to know what he had in the locker. Maybe a

gift for me.

Father turned-turned-turned the dial, opened the little door, pulled out a short

stack of clothes – his tan and teal for-home outfit? - closed the locker and spun on his

heels in the opposite direction from where I stood. His shoulder cocked at a perfectly


satisfied angle and feet moving swiftly away, told me I’d been wrong. His grin had

nothing to do with me.

He walked close to a smog-stained old building, raised his chin following the

lime stone layers up and up, several floors above street level. And there, in a frilly

framed window, was a woman staring down at him. Even from a distance I could see

she had painted her lips a red my mother would never have dared to wear, hair as

shiny as and shaped like a midnight polished teardrop. Wow, she was the most

beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Father put one finger in the air before hurrying to the

building’s entrance, loosening his tie and tugging it off by the time he slipped through

the door. The woman pulled away from the window. I wished she’d return, even if it

meant seeing my father framed there with her. I wanted so badly to see her again. I

thought maybe if my father kissed her, I’d get to kiss her too.)

[device again – lock – used to come back to current story]

[A pair of cooing pigeons and the calunk calunk of the woman’s heels brought

me back in time, to where the lock on the bike hung, initially unfocused.] (Hugging a

bag to her chest, she headed my way. I was determined to speak to her. …

Notice: A MATCH CUT of a lock in the present spins the POV character back in time to a lock in the past associated with very strong feelings. This is a technique commonly used in screenplays.


Set up: The POV character, Sha Ling, has just learned that her family is being

evicted from their home.

{use of senses}

(Mother rolled up the family tree, eleven generations long and written on a

scroll of red rice paper in delicate black calligraphy, then hugged it to her chest

along with Grandfather Lee’s black and white photo.)

[Sha Ling was nine when Grandpa’s spirit had fled. He’d pushed death

away until just the right moment, when all the family was present.] ( Though gone

from this world, he still needed earthly nourishment, so Father presented fresh fruit

to him, arranging it with great care on a small platter under the photo.

The family tree with its generations, watched over Grandpa’s photo. In

front, incense stood stabbed into sand, lit and curling smoke to honor the ancestors.

On Chinese New Year, Father and Chiang fell respectfully to their knees to make

four bows for each generation. Forty-four kowtows! Sha Ling, as a female, only

watched. How their knees must have hurt. She was amazed by their lack of

complaint.)

(Thoughts of ghostly hunger and fruit offerings stirred Sha Ling’s insides. She

turned to the bowls of soup with Father’s noodles floating inside, a snack for her and

Chiang when they came home from school. …

Notice:

Seeing the family tree being rolled up leads Sha Ling into the flashback, and thoughts

of her grandfather’s ghost eating connects to her own hunger, pulling her back out of

the flashback. All flashback samples excerpted from novels by

© Karen Albright Lin


© Robin L. Perini, 2011

Layering Complexity, Texture and Theme Using Subplots, Secondary Characters and Villains

2011 Colorado Gold Conference • Denver, CO • Saturday, September 10, 2011 Presented by Robin L. Perini

“The power of fiction lies in accurately portraying the truth of the human condition.”

— Laurine Ark, Writing from the Exterior Dramatic Perspective

I. THE STORY QUESTION

must by Your Protagonist Critical Plot Goal Conflict with the Antagonist

Only to Realize What the Character Learns about life that helps him/her change his goal during

the journey of the book. EXAMPLE: Jacob Marshall must avenge his father's honor by implicating Serena Jones' father, only to realize revenge often hurts the innocent.

II. IDENTIFY THE THEME

a. Theme = Truth (It's simple, and in its simplicity lies its power.) i. What do you want your reader to understand about the world after he/she

finishes your book. (The Heart of your Book) ii. Anchors Your Book

iii. The Quick and Dirty Way to Figure Out Your Theme: The epiphany of your protagonist is the theme of your book. (Know your Protagonist and Antagonist)

1. Protagonist: the person who grows and changes the most. 2. Antagonist: who or what drives that change.

iv. Your Theme: ________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

III. LAYERING COMPLEXITY: START WITH CHARACTER NOT CHARACTERIZATION a. Characterization - Sum total of observable traits and qualities. b. Character - Deep true nature of your character, revealed by making choices under

pressure. c. It always comes back to the same necessity: go deep enough and there is bedrock

of truth, however hard. — May Sarton


Subplots/Secondary Characters/Villains - Robin Perini Page 2 of 6


Characterization Character

d. Duality of Character

i. Character's strength is their weakness

Self-Image Worksheet Strength Character Flaw Weakness Strong-willed/Decisive Needs to be in Charge Too Impetuous

Self-Involved

Realistic/Lives in the Present Needs Balance Controlled by Circumstances

Self-Reliant Needs Independence Can't Rely on Others

Goal-Oriented Need to Achieve End Justify Means

Competent/In Charge Fear of Failure Boss/Arrogant

Power of Convictions Wants Fairness/Justice Righteous

Self-Assured Needs No One Arrogant

Loyal Needs to be Trusted Gullible/Unrealistic

Logical/Practical Needs Order Too Rigid

Optimistic Needs to Please Decides by Feelings

Persistent/Determined Needs Result/Endings Won't Give Up

Spontaneous Needs Freedom Undisciplined/Unpredictable

Intuitive Fears Misjudgment Distrusts Logic

Adventurous/Daring Needs Change Unreliable/Rash

Balanced Fears Risk Unemotional

Persuasive Needs to be Right Manipulative

Competitive Needs Goals/Tests Insensitive

Analytical Needs Logic/Fears Chaos Critical

Self-Sacrificing Needs Love Submissive

Perfectionist Needs Goals/Fears Failure Hard to Please

Adaptable Needs Balance Indecisive

Tolerant Fears Confrontation Unable to Take Stand

Idealistic Needs to Hope for Best Naïve

Confident Needs to Win/Succeed Domineering




IV. MORE COMPLEXITY: THE POWER OF CHARACTER GROWTH a. Function of story design/structure is to provide conflict (in the form of events) of

a progressively building nature, which will at the very least reveal character in contract to characterization and possibly change the deep character over the course of the story.

b. Character Elements and Growth (Character Grid For form e-mail me) 1. Inciting Incident - on the road to change 2. Long Range Goal - self concept meets innermost dreams 3. Short Range Goal - beginning goal of character's first scene 4. Character Flaw - barrier of making him/her best they can be

5. Relationship Barrier - barrier to relationships with others

6. Black Moment - the worst that can happen to the character

7. Realization - what the character learns

V. Major Secondary Characters and Villains

a. Specific Uses of Secondary Characters i. Strong secondary characters impact the main plot through action and

example. ii. Illuminate, illustrate, emphasize, complicate the protagonist/antagonist's

lives iii. Maximize roles within secondary characters

b. Villains

i. Love your villains. Find their humanity. ii. The strength of the villain must exceed the strength of the hero or heroine

at the beginning. Only through character growth is the villain vanquished. iii. Great villains develop from emotional as well as physical challenges to

major characters.

c. Layering Theme i. Villains take advantage of protagonist's flaw

ii. Secondary characters conflict, contrast and echo the protagonist VI. Subplots

a. A story recounts events that must be translated into feelings. It concerns . . . someone's reactions to what happens; his feelings; emotions; his impulses; his dreams, his ambitions; his clashing drives and inner conflicts. Plunge the character into a pre-planned situation that challenges the part of him that cares, that threatens the thing he feels is important. — Dwight V. Swain, Techniques of the Selling Writer.

b. Strong subplots mirror or parallel the main plot.




c. Illustrate, emphasize, illuminate or complicate the plot of your major characters from an external and/or internal perspective.

VII. Layering Complexity Using Subplots

a. Layer subplots to complicate the plot b. Turning Points

i. Major changes in the direction of your subplot for the character and the reader.

Protagonist

Sec. Char/ Villain

Set a course for relationship

Major change of course in the relationship.



Final course (either defeated or learned

something) The End

Third Turning Point

Second Turning Point

(Midpoint)

First Turning Point

First Interaction

Black Moment

Realization (Fourth Turning Point)

c. Escalate the stakes as you go from turning point to turning point.

i. Story Board 1. Attack your character's flaw 2. Take full advantage of theme during turning points

ii. Build plot and emotions to and away from turning points. iii. Plot and write to and away from the turning points with escalating series

of scenes. iv. Turning points in the subplot lead to major events in the main plot

d. Plot to the Surprise i. Shift the character's reality

ii. Each time you remove an obstacle, uncover one more. iii. The end can deliver the main plot's black moment or complicate the plot in

a major way.




e. Using Story Boards & Plot Lines

Story Board For a 20-Chapter Book with Four Turning Points

1 2 3 4 5

6 7 8 9 10

11 12 13 14 15

16 17 18 19 20

First Turning

Point

Third Turning

Point

Second Turning

Point

First Scene

RealizationBlack Moment

Fourth Turning Point

Subplot Black

Moment/ Realization

Subplot First Scene

Subplot First Turning Point

Subplot Second Turning Point

b. Plot Lines

Main Plot

SubPlot A

Subplot B

TP1 TP2 TP3TP4/End

TP1 TP2 TP3/End Beg

TP1 TP3/End Beg

Beg

VIII. Other Methods of Layering Complexity a. Write on two levels: External and Internal b. Character Arcs and Character Turning Points

IX. Layering Texture a. Layer emotions

i. Actions don't drive the story. Actions drive emotions, emotions drive the story.

b. Layer Imagery c. Layer scene, chapter, and turning point arcs

X. Another look at Layering Theme

a. Exercise




b. Test Your Theme i. List of five (Thanks Bruce Ballenger & Barry Lane, "Discovering the

Writer Within"): 1. Title 2. First line 3. Last line 4. Sentence or passage with the most unusual or significant detail 5. Most important line

“The only stories worth telling are stories of the human heart in

conflict with itself.” — William Faulkner

Bibliography Techniques of the Selling Writer (Dwight Swain) Story (Robert McKee) Writing the Breakout Novel (Donald Maass) Writing Novels That Sell (Jack Bickham) Writing the Blockbuster Novel (Albert Zuckerman) The Art of Fiction (James Garner)

Biography Robin Perini is a sought after speaker on writing topics and time management. She has been included on the 24 Most Popular Workshop CDs from Romance Writers of America (RWA)® National Conference five times. As a writer, Robin's love of heart-stopping suspense and poignant romance, coupled with her adoration of high tech weaponry and covert ops, encouraged her secret inner commando to take on the challenge of writing romantic suspense novels. Her mission's motto: "when danger and romance collide, no heart is safe." Robin’s strong characters and tightly woven plots have garnered her seven prestigious RWA Golden Heart® finals. Her 2011 Golden Heart Finalist novel, In Her Sights, is a launch title for Amazon's Montlake Romance. Her other 2011 Golden Heart Finalist novel, Stolen Lullaby (working title), will be a March, 2012 release from Harlequin Intrigue. For current news, check out Robin's website at www.robinperini.com or visit her on Facebook, Twitter and Goodreads.

Contact Information Robin Perini • E-mail: [email protected]

www.robinperini.com • www.discoveringstorymagic.com www.facebook.com/RobinPeriniAuthor • www.twitter.com/RobinPerini

Books

In Her Sights • Amazon Montlake Romance • November, 2011 Stolen Lullaby (working title) • Harlequin Intrigue • March, 2012

The LERA Writer's Guide • ISBN 0-9660063-0-5


Let Your characters Take the Wheel

Sue Viders [email protected] andBecky Martinez [email protected]

Use this wheel for any of your main characters, remember that you should only do one characterat a time. Start with the character who either has the most to gain in the story or the most to lose.

• CHARACTER_______________________________________________________________

• Catastrophe_________________________________________________________________

• Crusade (external event)_____________________________________________________________________

• Cause (internal motivation)___________________________________________________________________

• Companions ________________________________________________________________

• Complications _______________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

• Clashes (both external and internal) ____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

• Crisis _______________________________________________________________

• Climax ____________________________________________________________________

• Change ____________________________________________________________________

• Conclusion _________________________________________________________________

Check out our writing site - writethatnovel.com and our critique blog - http://thecritiquecorner-writethatnovel.blogspot.com/

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Liposuction for Your Overweight ManuscriptColorado Gold

September 9-11, 2011Linda Berry

www.ogeechee.avigne.org

Good writing is writing that gets its job done, whether the job is to inform, entertain, or convince. Writing that is unfocused, repetitive, and full of errors is more likely to be irritating (or unintentionally humorous) than effective.

Consider your purpose and your audience. A scholarly article will likely have a different tone and a different vocabulary than most spoken conversation. In a work of fiction, dialogue will probably be more informal and varied than the narrative voice.

Choose every word carefully, being suspicious of phrases that come easily. Learn to recognize needless repetition. Eliminate irrelevant and useless information and information that is common knowledge.

In general, your writing will be more readable if you use short words instead of grandiose ones, if you use metaphors carefully, if you use strong verbs instead of trying to prop up weak ones with adverbs. Avoid the passive voice. Vary the length of your sentences.

Beware of these three main forms of flabbiness: *lack of focus *padded language *inexact or wrong language

Consider different standards for:*spoken language *language in written dialogue *narrative voice *non-fiction

Watch for these flabby constructions:

TAUTOLOGIES (needless repetition of an idea in a different word, phrase, or sentence)

Phrases: more additions, completely ignore, another alternative, free gift, kneel down, trained expert, dead body

Tautological Adjective: glowing ember, annual birthday

Double Adjective: teeny tiny, pure unadulterated, same exact


Double Noun: switchblade knife, tuna fish, cash money

This and That: pure and simple, wait and see, tried and true, if and when, hale and hearty, each and every, wrack and ruin, nook and cranny

Pesky preposition and adverbs: close up, drop down, follow behind (or after), protrude out, rise up, dash quickly

USELESS INFORMATION I'd like to, It is my opinion that, I believe that, for your information, in case you care

IRRELEVANT INFORMATIONIt may be interesting but doesn't fit into your story.

INFLATED LANGUAGE: orientate (for "orient"), utilize (for "use"), domicile (for "home"), subsequent to (for "after")

OVERWEIGHT SIMILIES AND METAPHORSLong separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers race across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m at a speed of 35 mph.

EMPTY MODIFIERS: very, extremely, really, usually, actually, just, literally, more or less, rather

EXPANDED ACRONYMS: HIV virus; ISBN number; NHL league; VIN number, PIN number

COMMON KNOWLEDGE: the singer, Elvis Presley; the famous painting the Mona Lisa

PASSIVE AND EVASIVE CONSTRUCTIONSWe arrived at a decision. (We decided.) The car came to a stop. (The car stopped.) The ball was hit into the window. (Bobby hit the ball into the window.) Mistakes were made. (It wasn't me!)


***Some useful and entertaining books on the subject: Bates, Jefferson D. Writing With Precision: How To Write So That You Cannot

Possibly Be Misunderstood: Zero Base GobbledygookBrohaugh, William. Write TightGordon, Karen Elizabeth. The Well-Tempered Sentence: A Punctuation Handbook

for the Innocent, the Eager, and the DoomedLederer, Richard. Anguished EnglishO'Conner, Patricia T. Woe Is I: The Grammarphobe's Guide to Better English in Plain

EnglishTruss, Lynne. Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation

***

In Class Editing Exercise: Cut Out the Flab

Use your sharp-leaded pencil to excise the fat in the overweight writing guidelines below. According to its body mass index, the material should be less than than half this length.

***

Good writing is writing that gets it's job done, whether the job is to inform, amuse, divert, entertain, educate, or convince. Writing that is unfocused, repetitive, and full of errors in language and/or grammer and/or facts is more likely to be irritating (or unintentionally humorous) than effective and is unlikely to accomplish your purpose.

The only way for you to do what you set out to do with your writing is for you to pay attention to each and every single word. Choose every word carefully, being suspicious of pre-formed phrases, which are often cliches. Be sure you know what each word means and that it's the word you mean to choose and not a word that's close or maybe sounds like it or is spelled almost the same way.

It also helps to have a good idea of what the writing is supposed to do. A scholarly article for a stuffy, pretentious, scholarly journal, or even a piece of newspaper journalism, will appropriately and inevitably have a different tone and probably a different vocabulary than most people's spoken conversation, regardless of how well educated he is. Likewise, language in written dialogue in a work of fiction will probably be more informal and varied than the narrative voice in the same work of fiction.

And use strong verbs instead of weak ones that you have to prop up with smirking adverbs. And things should not be put in the passive voice, either. Generally speaking--and there are no hard and fast, make or break rules in something as subjective as good writing--your writing, whether fiction or nonfiction, will be better if you eschew persiflage, verbosity, periphrasis, circumlocution, prolixity, and logorrhea, which often result in obfuscation. In short, use words to communicate, not to conceal,


your meaning. Use short sentences sometimes, too. Learn to recognize needless repetition, as in these examples: advance planning,

baby puppies, met together, rise up. Sometimes you will have reason to keep them (say you want to emphasize a point or you've created a character who talks like that), but if you don't have a good reason, cut the repetition and you will have more space, words, whatever, to get on with your story.

In other words, make every word count. Don't say the same thing over and over and over again in different ways, hoping your reader will get the point. Do your work up front. Figure out what you want to say and say it once as well as you can. And be careful of slang and far-fetched idioms, too.

Some kinds of fat (like those empty calories in donuts and deep fried pork rinds) are concealed, unsatisfying and sneaky, like food that promises no sugar added when there was no sugar there in the first place. An example of this is the inclusion of irrelevant (or, as Perry Mason used to say, "I object! It's irrelevant and immaterial!) and useless information like, "My mother who was such a stickler for etiquette that she usually always carried a copy of Emily Post in her pocketbook always taught me to be polite, so I want to take this opportunity to thank you for coming," when all you really mean to say is "Thank you for coming." Oh, yes, that reminds me to say you should be careful of metaphors and keep them under control if you know what's good for you.

Under the heading of "empty calories" we also find what James Kilpatrick calls "initialisms," using initials for something and then also saying the word, too, as in "ATM machine" and "IRA account." This adds nothing at all to the meaning.

And did I say that things should not be put in the passive voice, either?


Mapping, Trapping, and Zapping

A Look at Handy and Inexpensive Writing Tools by Ron Heimbecher Want to write anywhere? Ever feel tied to your desk because of the things you use to organize your writing? I do, and I’ve sought a number of tools to help me make my escape. This workshop reveals my secrets...OK, maybe so not so secret. Note: this document is being prepared for distribution well in advance of the workshop. At the very end of this document is a link, and QR code to the current version on my website. I will let you know during the presentation if there are changes from this version. Tools I use every day: On my laptop and netbook (both are currently Windows):

• SyncBack (2brightsparks.com/syncback) - keeps all writing folders completely in sync with my desktop master copies - Free and paid versions available

• yWriter5 (spacejock.com/yWriter5.html) - in-depth writing application that keeps track of characters, places, items, and a plethora of other things - Free

• Freemind (freemind.sourceforge.net) - mind mapping - Free • Evernote (evernote.com) - quick capture of notes, text, images, emails, etc that are

automatically shared with all my devices (including phone) - Free or paid versions • Dropbox (dropbox.com) - cloud storage for immediate file backup, accessible to

all my devices - Free and paid versions • Dragon Naturally Speaking (nuance.com)- not free • And, oh yeah, Word... - So not free... but I have an Outlook addiction.

On my iPad (all of these come from the iTunes App Store):

• iA Writer - basic text editor with Focus mode • Index Card - plotting, character development, a zillion other things • iThoughtsHD - mind mapping (exports files compatible with Freemind) • Penultimate and Ghostwriter - note taking • Paper Desk - electronic whiteboard • Dragon dictation - must be WiFi connected


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• Pages - Word compatible files • Two journals, Chronicle (thumb up) and Moleskine (thumb down) • Dropbox and Evernote

The things we’ll look at in the workshop:

• yWriter5 • Freemind • iThoughtsHD • Index Card

In the Mac world:

• The most widely used writing program for Mac is Scrivener (about $45), which is scheduled for release on Windows in July of 2011 (I may have a copy by the workshop date.) The people at Scrivener are so confident in their product that they provide a full page of other great resources. Some that complement and others that compete with Scrivener. Plus, they have a really cool web address. (www.literatureandlatte.com).

A quick trip through yWriter5: Project information:

• Title and description • Author name and bio • Schedule dates and deadlines for:

o Outline o Draft o First Edit o Second Edit o Done

• Four user defined scene ratings, defaults are: o Relevance o Tension o Humor o Quality

• Project level notes Chapter Information:

• Chapter Title • Description • New Section indicator • Scene summaries for all scenes in chapter (display only) • Chapter sequence can be changed via drag and drop and then renumbered • Can be flagged as unused • Multiple chapters can be created at once

Scene Information: • Scene title


http://literatureandlatte.com/�

• Scene description • Scene content (stored in a separate .rtf file) • Scene rating (see above) • POV character • Scene characters • Scene locations • Scene items (e.g. Sig Sauer automatic pistol or purple hat) • Scene type (Action/Reaction) • Plot/Subplot indicator • Scene begin time and length in “story time” • Scene status (e.g. Draft, 1st edit...) • If “Action” scene

o Goal o Conflict o Outcome

• If “Reaction” scene o Reaction o Dilemma o Choice

• Each scene can have its own notes and tags Character Information:

• Name • Full name • Alternates: Nicknames and AKAs all separated by semicolons • Major/Minor flag • Description • Tags • Bio • Character notes • Character goals • Picture

Location Information: • Name • Description • AKA: can be multiple, separated by semicolons • Description • Tags • Picture

Item Information: • Name • Description • AKA: can be multiple, separated by semicolons • Description • Tags


• Picture All characters, locations and items can be automatically added to a scene record by a single click to scan the text of the scene. There are a number of reports, including synopsis versions, scenes per character, words per character, word use, story board, and many more. More Resources: Please check the appropriate online sources for current prices on these items. The following links are to a number of other resources, passed along as a convenience to you. I have not used, tested, or evaluated many of the items in this list, so caveat emptor. With regard to items purchase in the Apple iTunes App Store, I have found the customer ratings and reviews to be accurate predictors of performance in nearly all cases. Additional iPad Apps:

• Moleskine journal, the initial release leaves a lot to be desired, but it’s worth checking bug fixes and issue resolution updates.

• Novel Writer - no experience, user reviews are good for the Android version, but not quite so good for the iPad version.

• My Writing Spot - this app is used to allow people who have an account with the MyWritingSpot (www.mywritingspot.com be sure to use the www) to access their works-in-progress with their iPad.

Android Apps: (through the Android Market) NOTE: As of this writing, the Android tablet environment is rather unstabilized. Each manufacturer is using a separate and proprietary version of Android. Apps may not function the same or at all in on different devices. My Android testing platform is Samsung Galaxy Captivate.

• Novel Writer (see above) • My Writing Spot (see above) • Story Droid • WritingWithout - From the Writing Without Supervision website

Windows Programs:

• Scrivener for Windows (July 2011) (http://www.scrivenerforwindows.com/) • Page Four (http://www.softwareforwriting.com/pagefour.html) • New Novelist (http://www.newnovelist.com/) • WriteWay Pro (http://www.writewaypro.com/)

Mac Programs:


http://www.mywritingspot.com/�

http://www.scrivenerforwindows.com/�

http://www.softwareforwriting.com/pagefour.html�

http://www.newnovelist.com/�

http://www.writewaypro.com/�

• Scrivener (literatureandlatte.com/scrivener.php) • CopyWrite (http://www.bartastechnologies.com/products/copywrite) • Jer’s Novel Writer (http://www.jerssoftwarehut.com/) • Ulysses (http://www.the-soulmen.com/ulysses/) • Write Room (http://www.hogbaysoftware.com) • For even more visit the Scrivener links page

(http://www.literatureandlatte.com/links.php) CONTACT INFO and ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: Since technology is in a constant state of flux and rapid change, please visit the Map Trap and Zap Blog (http://maptrapzap.blogspot.com) or use your cell phone to scan this code.

To stay current on new tools and, ok, I’ll admit it... toys... Sincere thanks for your interest and attention, for questions, please contact [email protected] or www.chalicemedia.com/contact-us You can download a current version of this document at: www.chalicemedia.com/media/MapTrapZapHandout.pdf or use your cell phone to capture the QR code below:

All of Ron's presentations are non-commercial, and are not solicitations for any product or service; ChaliceMedia does not provide any services related to the information presented.


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NICE GUYS FINISH LAST Kay Bergstrom Page 1

STEP #1: CHARACTER BIO

1. Physical description A. Age B. Height/Weight C. Coloring D. Distinguishing marks, tats or scars E. Tone of voice, accents F. Style of clothing, haircut, makeup G. Find a Photo of similar person

2. Lifestyle

A. Occupation B. Marital status C. Socio-economic class D. Family/Ethnicity E. Vices and Virtues F. Friends G. Education H. Medical history I. Home, furnishings, prized possessions J. Vehicles K. Hobbies and sports

3. Psychology

A. Greatest Strength/weakness B. Alpha or Beta C. Phobias D. Addictions E. Intelligence F. Disorders G. Quirks, Habits H. Relationships I. Therapies and meds J. Personality profile (Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, etc.)

4. Back Story

A. Parents and Sibs B. Home town and other locations C. Early years D. High School E. Post high school, college, military



F. Mentors/significant people G. Significant achievements and failures H. Employment history I. Family history J. Friends, enemies

STEP #2: ESTABLISH GOALS & MOTIVATION

Every scene has an immediate, short-term goal. What does the character want, need or desire?

Behind that goal is a motivation. Why does he/she want it? Motivation leads to the long-term goal of the main

character, which is the story question for the book.

Scene goal: In spite of nightmares, Jane needs to get a good night’s sleep. Motivation: She wants to be fresh to impress her boss at the breakfast meeting. Story Question: Will Jane find the career success she needs to achieve independence?

STEP #3: OBSTACLE Hero/Heroine versus Villain. The goals/motivations are in opposition to create tension and move the story forward. Jane wants to sleep well, be fresh and succeed. Evil Aunt Esmeralda wants Jane to fail so she stays home and devotes her life to taking care of Esmeralda. And so, Esmeralda fakes a midnight heart attack to disrupt Jane’s sleep. STEP #4: ACTION/BEHAVIOR

To decide how your character will act in a given situation, rate their behavior based on these (and other) extremes.

A. Aggressive or Passive B. Introvert or Extrovert C. Logical or Emotional D. Disheveled or Tidy E. Leader or Follower F. Dependent or Independent G. Risk-taker or Risk-Averse



H. Egotistical or Low Self-Esteem I. When threatened, Fight or Flight J. Passionate or Cool K. Commitment Phobic or Clingy L. Religious or Non-believer M. Brave or Fearful N. Mellow or Driven O. Manic or Depressive

This is a sliding scale of behavior because no character is

a hundred percent one way or the other. At the extreme end (being too brave or too fearful), the behavior may lose sympathy points with the reader. STEP #5: TWIST You know your characters and know how they are going to act or react in any given situation. B-O-R-I-N-G. It’s time to shake things up.

Switch their expected behavior. --The tough cop loses a fight to a girl. --The good mother forgets her kid in the mall. --A logician acts with passion. These switches need a basis. Go back into the character

bio, goals/motivations and action/behavior to plant the seeds. --The tough cop is reminded of his victimized mother and

can’t hit a woman. (Back story) --The good mother is overwhelmed with her three full-time

jobs and college. (Goal/Motivation) --The logician determines that passion is the most logical

response. (Action/Behavior) The switch has a consequence that twists the plot in a different direction. --Tough cop allows a serial killer to escape. --Good mother is charged with child neglect. --Logician falls in love.

Nice guys finish last unless...they find a way to engage,

surprise and excite the reader.


How to pitch?

- Have you met before? - No? Shake hand and intro - First use your strength – selling point - Is that you? Award-winning? Platform? Special experience? - Book High Concept?

o A unique premise with obvious mass audience appeal that can be conveyed in a sentence or a phrase.

o pitch not execution, essence in few words, premise and promise implied o framing technique: one book crossed with another or with a twist o popular/glamorous features, mass appeal, unique

Log Line

1) Protagonist 2) main plot goal and major obstacle/event/battle 3) antagonist 4) Sometimes a sense of time and place (if important to story) 5) Genre should be implicit, if not explicit.

Cheat Sheet for log lines

(TITLE) is a (GENRE) about a (DESCRIPTION OF HERO), who after (INCITING EVENT), wants to (OUTER GOAL) by (PLAN OF ACTION). This becomes increasingly difficult because (OBSTACLES AND COMPLICATIONS) or (TITLE) is a (GENRE) about a (DESCRIPTION OF HERO) who must (OUTER GOAL) or else (DIRE THINGS WILL HAPPEN) Where to pitch:

- Conference – be sure agent/editor handles your genre - Agents via email or snail mail - check websites for requirements

----some sources on the web---- http://absolutewrite.com/forums/ the “poop” straight from satisfied and dissatisfied writers http://querytracker.net/literary_agents.php can put in your genre/s and see who reps them and all about who they have as clients, what types of queries they take (on-line form, snail mail,email)/unsolicited or not/address and website/query response time etc. http://pred-ed.com/ Preditors and Editors (on-line data base sales records) $ - one or more verified sale with legit publisher $ - has represented one or more manuscripts in negotiations, no verified sale Great if you see agent listed as -- AAR $ Highly recommended. http://www.agentquery.com/search_advanced.aspx Agent Query offers the largest, most current searchable databases of literary agents on the web Also look up: AAR (Association of Authors’ Representatives), Literary Marketplace, Guide to Literary Agents, Hollywood Reporter, Variety Warning: not all agents listed in Writer's Market are legit. Good site discussing good query letters: http://www.nelsonagency.com/faq.html#6


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A Shot Rang Out:

Creating Police

Procedurals that

work the way you

want them to


7 Top Mistakes Writers make• 1. Having detectives arrive on scene to take a

report

• 2. Having cops or detectives drive around in pairs

• 3. Forgetting the coroner exists

• 4. Not knowing the difference between a semi-automatic & a revolver

• 5. Putting the smell of cordite in the air


6. Most unrealistic thing you do:

• Lab work at the speed of sound

--Fingerprints interpreted on scene (or described as fresh)

--DNA work returned within weeks

7. Suppressors (covered later) No one uses them because no one cares about shots fired


THE SCENE:

Who is there?

Patrol, Coroner,

Detectives,

CSIs


The beat cop gets dressed


Cops patrol alone

• If with someone, that person is a trainee (not even a rookie, but a puppy cop)

• Occasionally detectives take someone along on a high profile contact or for a person of “mutual interest”


Enter the ASP


Police Batons


Tasers –cops do love these


What cops are like

• Recess in 2nd grade, repeated many times

• Wicked funny practical jokes

• Cops call themselves cops (not pejorative)

--Constable on Patrol?

--from the copper badges of Boston?

--probably from a German word “to take”


Coroner or Medical Examiner?

Colorado has a county coroner system

Some are M.E.’s and some are anyone elected to be a coroner

• Cannot move a body without a coroner


Dressing Demo-

try on whatever we have to try on


SCREWING UP THE

SCENE OR NOT…

Why bad things can

happen to good

detectives


Do you want a professional scene or not?

• Scenes are easily lost by officers’ incompetence:

Patrol’s incompetence

fatigued officers

the coroner dun’ it

speed (pressure to release the scene for some reason)


Or by

• Weather (rain or a body found in a sprinkler system)

• Animal action

• Helpful citizens

• Paramedics/Doctor/nursing staff

• Late discovery of the crime scene


For Example

• A body is found in water

• Competent processing means the CSI

will take a water sample for

comparison

• If the body is in a lake/river one

can recover from failure to do

this

• Bathtub or swimming pool? one

chance


Drowning Deaths• Diatoms –found in sea water

or fresh water

• Drowning victims get them in lungs and thus blood stream


You can start with a scene or a missing person and no scene

• Few cases are tried without a body

• Remember your choices here will make forced choices down the written road

• DNA also decomposes

• OR you have a body, but no identification of same


Bodies decompose

• Twice as fast on land as those in water (1 week=2 weeks submerged)

• Those buried, especially deep, decompose the slowest

• (no air, fewer or no insects, etc.)

• Air (fastest), water (next), buried (slowest)


Mummification• Dehydration or desiccation of the body during

decay that can occur in environments that have less than 50% humidity

• Once the body is mummified, no further decay occurs


Adipocere aka grave wax

• Grayish-white waxy or soapy like substance that forms in the fatty tissues of the body

• Damp environments: caves, graves, water

• Usually takes a minimum of 1 month and then preserves the tissues


A SHOT RANG

OUT

Firearms Evidence


Semi-automatic versus revolverNo safety on revolvers


Which one should your person use?

• Pre 1985 police work, a revolver

• Much after that, a semi-automatic

• Which likely will carry about 15 rounds (bullets)

• Homeowner for defense? A revolver


Cordite: Not used much since 1945 and unavailable worldwide since 2000

• A British chemical compound composed of gun cotton, nitroglycerin, vaseline

• Used as double based gunpowder

• Dev to be used in tropical climates


Firearms Identification

• Bullet travels through barrel and receives unique markings

• Striations known as lands and groves are created on the surface of the bullet

• Under a microscope, match bullet markings to certain, individual weapon.


No Lands/Groves in a Shotgun

• Or Smith & Wesson Governor (has l/g but not available from the bullets)

• Or a Taurus Judge (dittos, if loaded with shotgun shells)


Suppressors aka Silencers

• Silencers

• Homemade work about as well

• Illegal to own (usually), huge size about 12”

• Won’t work on revolvers (gap allows sound)

• Bullet won’t eject because it’s blocked by suppressor so you can only fire once

• No one notices shots fired (TV, firecrackers)


Handgun with Suppressor


Gunshot Residue

• May or may not test positive even if person did fire a weapon

• More likely on revolvers, less likely on semi-autos

• Swab hands with 2 swabs per surface and process all 10 at lab

• More of it on clothing, closer the distance


Creating Action Scenes

• Shooting through glass (store, homes) will work if close (accurate, penetrates)

• Shooting through windshields (laminated, sloping) generally will not --.45 probable exception

• Rifles will penetrate windshields


Duck! Get Behind your Door!• Car doors will even stop some high powered

rifles (.223, .30 carbine)

• Car door vs Thompson submachine gun? About half went through

• Handgun? Usually not: no .38 made it

• No also: .44 mag, .45 safety slug

• Yes: .45 with teflon, 9mm with armor piercing ammo


Contact wound should find:

• 1. circular bruise where muzzle touched

• 2. may have stellate tearing of skin from blast injury

• 3. red/pink from carbon monoxide

• 4. powder blackening

• 5. may have blood or skin in the muzzle


Shooting Distance• Probably best clue to suicide

• Tattooing is the term but stippling is also used

• May also be used to claim self-defense


Intermediate contact shot• Wider and lighter GSR pattern

• Bullet hole tends to be irregular


Greater distance

• Large central hole

• More than 2 feet, unlikely to have stippling


Blood Spatter

• Certified stain pattern analysts requires years of training (and, OMG, math)

• But CSIs and cops can learn general blood spatter info

• Primarily direction of travel, position of victims and suspects

• Size of droplets


Blood Spatter

• Projected Low velocity impact spatter LVIS-low impact to blood source >3mm

• MVIS-medium velocity (beating) 1mm-3mm

• HVIS-high velocity gunshot- <1mm


Travel


Meanwhile, back

at the Lab:

prints, DNA


Fingerprints

• even if on scene, need to be viewed in a lab

• Realistically fewer than ½ of 1% of crimes are solved by a print

• Criminals (& writers) often remember to wipe down the weapon, but not the bullets or in semi-autos, the magazine


Cyanoacrylic fuming

• AKA superglue fuming

• Brings out prints probably better than anything

• Difficult to clean up (not impossible, but close)

• But also may destroy DNA (so your detective may have hold off on this procedure)


DNA, contact/touch DNA

• Context still vitally important (hat may have my DNA, but was I wearing it?)

• Can tell perhaps that there are 2 DNAs involved in borrowed clothing, but not which is most recent

• Fragile, easily destroyed (don’t eat, drink, smoke, cough, or touch at a crime scene)


To Review

• On scene cops can tell:

type of weapon (usually)

range of shot

whether or not there was a struggle

self-inflicted or not

direction of travel for bleeder


Review• But cannot tell:

• if prints are any good or to whom they belong

• if DNA will be found (but may guess at its likelihood)

• or TOD (time of death) very accurately


Fingerprinting Demo:Twirl like a ballerina

Don’t Brush


Psychological

Clues

Not yet a real

science


Psychological Profiling

• Overkill

• Undoing

• Disorganized/organized

• Staging


Psychological aspects of the scene

• What is the crime scene telling you?

• Overkill-decompensating serial killer or

• Signs of undoing-suspect close relationship

• Choice of weapon-brought to scene? Obtained there?

• Family killings-is everyone present? Are the pets dead?


Mass murder or serial killers?

• Mass murders: usually white male teenagers

• Or somewhat rarely, women who kill family

• Serial killers: almost always white males

• Only 1 true female serial killer (Aileen Wuernos)


FBI’s organized/disorganized scenes

• Disorganized: lack planning, messy scene, may use tools from scene, signs of things going wrong for killer

• Organized: aware of what they are doing, not messy, in control


Staging

• Where the crime is one type, but seems to have elements of another

• Burglary & murder but the burglary is contrived

• Kidnapping, but there is a 3 page note & no one taken

• Attempted robbery, but suspect talks like a rapist

• In rape, the suspect talks at all


Handcuffing Demo:Cuff, then search, locking holes UP

Only do it if you can get 2 on at onceDouble lock for safety and no cinching

up


POW! BANG! CHARGE! WRITING PHYSICAL ACTION SCENES

The Wrong Way

action without meaning – action that lacks ramifications

for character or plot blow-by-blow action without character penetration action as ornament (without a plot requirement) action that is purely exposition (narrative) action without emotion action without logical set-up or follow-through Some of these elements are different ways of looking at the same thing.


Primary Considerations

Relevance Physical action must:

have a plot purpose

affect the characters

resonate in what comes after

Physical action matters only if readers care about the outcome.

Research

Helps the writer envision the action

Hollywood research is not useful

Learn about the things (weapons, cars, animals) you’ll use

Know how SF tech or fantasy magic works beforehand

Action sequence is not the place to explain the above in detail!

Geography

Set the stage for readers (barroom, battlefield, bedroom)

Obstacles – e.g., furniture, nakedness, weather, bystanders, etc.

Choreography

Block out major moves – action requires coherent choreography

Different types of action have different requirements

Keep readers in mind – don’t lose them along the way Balance – through the entire novel


Techniques for Building Physical Action

Mechanics Active verbs

Sentence structure & rhythms

Sentence fragments

Character reactions

Stimulus / response patterns

Question need for metaphors and similes

One-on-one confrontations & smaller-scale action

Prolong the action (text time = importance for reader)

Weave in character reactions w/ physical events

Contrast

Large-scale action and battles Pick a perspective

Impressionistic

Quick cuts

Realism

Sensory details

Relief

Resonance Character emotions

POV’s real-time physical reactions

Physical effects in the aftermath

Psychological reactions in the aftermath


A Brief Bibliography of Action Masters Dick Francis: anything, but particularly Odds Against, Rat Race, Banker, Enquiry. Francis

excels at one-on-one physical confrontations, one-on-one menace, and chase scenes Dean Koontz: anything; how to introduce that nasty creeping feeling before the action starts and

then carry it through to the aftermath. Michael Shaara: The Killer Angels. The entire book is about the battle of Gettysburg and it has

several set-pieces that are a primer for how to write a sweeping battle while characterizing. Dorothy Dunnett: A Game of Kings, The Disorderly Knights, Pawn In Frankincense in

particular. These historical novels are densely-written, erudite, and crammed with physical action, from small ambushes to big battles to running fights to a masterful duel of swords.

Louis L’Amour: The Empty Land, Hondo, etc. L’Amour was a boxer, and his written fist-fights

show how to write one realistically (though he does veer toward Hollywood in brutality vs. consequences).

Leo Tolstoy: War and Peace. Tolstoy’s subject revolved around Napoleon’s invasion of Russia

and his masterwork doesn’t shy away from battles, from skirmishes to Borodino. Study his chosen perspectives for viewing each type of physical action.

Bernard Cornwell: The Sharpe novels especially, but also The Fort, about the Revolutionary

War. The Sharpe books contain physical action of all kinds, from fist-fights to full-scale army battles, and they’re well worth studying to learn techniques from a master.

Alexander Kent, Dudley Pope: Kent’s Bolitho books and Pope’s Ramage series are action in the

age of fighting sail. These authors are not the caliber of writer and novelist that Patrick O’Brien was, but they do pack pure physical action into every book, and their handling of research vs. action is excellent.

Rosemary Sutcliffe: The Eagle of the Ninth, Sword at Sunset, The Mark of the Horse Lord.

Sutcliffe wrote mostly for the YA audience, and her handling of research placed at the need of plot and character is exemplary.

There are many, many other writers worth studying: Michael Connelly, Norah Roberts, Alistair

MacLean, Jeanne C. Stein, Terry Pratchett, Piers Anthony, Raymond Chandler, Mary Higgins Clark… Pick your genre, and then reread these writers to see how they handle their physical action. Pick their scenes apart and emulate the techniques you discover.


Press Release Boot Camp –Susan Mitchell Press Kit Elements: Resources for Your Releases

Marketing Overview Synopsis – Thumbnail, Short, Full Page Follow-Up/The Next Book

Author Info/Bio Author Positioning Knowing The Customer/Audience Book Positioning Images Knowing The Competition Creating Market Opportunities

Types of Press Releases & Goal:

New Author Reviews Book Tour Event Appearances Speaking Engagements

Making Releases Timely – Format & “Spin” Media Relations – The Who & How

The BIG Interview - Multi-Media/Interview Questions Free Resources – PR Web Online Presence: Website, Blogging, Social Networking Defining Success - What is Important to YOU


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Name/Firm Phone Number Email/Web Site HEADLINE Date, or Date of Event, Release Location of Event COPY: Begin with timely introduction, unique information or story angle. Bring in details. BOILER PLATE: Information about author, history, organization, etc.

-30- (Means the end)


A Writers Guide to Body Language & Styles

Morgen Leigh Thomas, MA, CYT [email protected]

"Every gesture is a gesture from the blood, every expression a symbolic utterance..."

Henry Williamson Most interactions among human beings are based on the exchange of significant (shared) symbols. Through creating and exchanging significant symbols, people make and interpret meaning. This is a social process that informs a person’s attitudes, communication, and actions with regard to others.

A story of meeting Yanomamo men for the first time… and an excellent example of gesture, emotion and

embodied experience in first person narrative! by Napoleon Chagnon (1977)

I looked up from my canoe and gasped when I saw a dozen burly, naked, filthy men staring at us down the shafts of their drawn arrows. Immense wads of green tobacco juice were stuck between their lower teeth and lips, making them look even more hideous, and strands of dark green slime dripped or hung from their noses. We arrived at the village while the men were blowing a hallucinogenic drug up their noses. One of the side effects of the drug is a runny nose. The mucus is always saturated with the green powder, and the [men] usually let it run feely from their nostrils… I just sat their holding my notebook, helpless and pathetic.

The whole situation was depressing, and I wondered why I ever decided to switch from civil engineering to anthropology in the first place. Soon I was covered with red pigment, the result of a dozen or so complete examinations. These examinations capped an otherwise grim day. The [men] would blow their noses into their hands, flick as much of the mucus off that would separate in a snap of the wrist, wipe the residue into their hair, and then carefully examine my face, arms, legs, hair, and the contents of my pockets. I said (in their language), "Your hands are dirty;" my comments were met by the men in the following way: they would "clean" their hands by spitting a quantity of slimy tobacco juice into them, rub them together, and then proceed with the examination.

For the Yanomamo, these behaviors represent normal, culturally relevant expectations. From their viewpoint, you should check out strangers in the manner they did, and nakedness is good, as are hallucinogenic substances and letting mucus run naturally. If we wish to understand human behavior, we must know how people define objects, events, individuals,

groups, structures, and behaviors. These meanings come from social interaction (communication); they are not inherent in the object, event,

individual, group, structure or action. Emotions are central to meaning, behavior, and the self. Cultural norms and values, whether you are working within existing frameworks or creating entirely new

worlds, are crucial to understanding the actions and motivations of your characters.

Components of Symbolic Culture 1. Gestures involve using one's body to communicate with others. People in every culture use gestures, but

a gesture's meaning may change from one culture to another. o Example: In Mexico and regions of South America, placing a hand under the armpit and moving

the upper arm up and down means "your mother is a whore," the absolute worst insult in those cultures!

2. Language allows human experience to be cumulative, provides a shared past and future, allows shared perspectives and complex, goal-directed behavior. This means we pass ideas, knowledge, beliefs and


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attitudes on to the next generation, allowing that generation to build on experiences that it may never undergo. This building process allows humans to modify their behavior in light of what previous generations have learned.

o Example: The Hopi have no words to distinguish between the past, the present, and the future; therefore language has embedded within it ways of looking at the world.

3. Inscription is a means of exteriorizing one's inner identity, communicating values, beliefs, group affiliation, etc. through “styles of walk, talk, and dress."

o Example: The young man who has a tattoo of his child's likeness on his bicep with hearts surrounding the image. What does this image communicate to you?

Patterns of Social Interaction

1. Exchange: the most basic form of interaction; we give things to people after they give things to us or in expectation of receiving things; reciprocity.

2. Cooperation: working together toward a common goal; without cooperation, social organization would be very difficult.

3. Competition: when resources are limited, claimants must compete for them, which can often lead to… 4. Conflict: competition becomes more intense and hostile, with competitors actively hating each other and

perhaps breaking social norms to acquire the prized resource. 5. Coercion: individuals or groups with social power use the threat of violence, deprivation, or punishment

to control the actions of those with less power. Styles of Body Usage

1. People are confronted with four action problems (questions) in every social interaction. o How predictable am I? o Do I lack or produce? o Am I associated or dissociated from my corporeal body? o Am I monadic or dyadic toward others?

2. People define themselves in terms of their varying capacity for control (predictable/ contingent). 3. Questions of control both constitute and are constituted by the style of body usage and the pattern of

social interaction employed by the individual. 4. Action problems are resolved through each style's respective medium of activity, which is its mode of

action, and the individual’s pattern of social interaction.

Dramaturgy When people encounter each other, there is the immediate problem of aligning individual contingencies and navigating new mutual contingencies that arise through the interaction. What humans do and say backstage (in private) versus what they do and say front stage (with an audience) is often very different. Everyone’s got a secret! REMEMBER! Nonverbal (55%) - expression, posture, gesture, appearance, spatial Vocal (38%) - how it is said (supports the words) Verbal (7%) - what is said (facts/opinions)

The Disciplined Style


Mode of action: regimentation Control: predictable Desire: lacking Other-relatedness: monadic Self-relatedness: dissociated With regard to control, the disciplined body makes itself predictable through regimentation. Being predictable is both the medium and the outcome of regimentation. As long as the regimen is followed, this body is happy; the second predictability is lost, this body can flip to a more dominating style. The intense focus on predictability through regimentation reflects an unconscious fear of the body's real contingencies. With regard to desire, the disciplined body understands itself as lacking. In the practice of the regimen, the body is able to recognize itself as being. For discipline to be sustained, the sense of lack must remain conscious. This lack justifies the body's subordination. When regimens effectively remedy this lack, this body can flip to a more mirroring style. Fear of total body/mind/soul disintegration drives the regimen. The other-relatedness of the disciplined body is monadic, as the body becomes isolated in its own performance. This body may be among others, but it is not with others. If this body must relate to others, the mode of that relation will be force, since this body can only relate to others by projecting its regimen upon them. On the dimension of self-relatedness, the disciplined body is dissociated from itself. This style can tolerate the degradation of his or her body because he or she observes the body only as a means to an end. Pain and hunger have no meaning; the body is an instrument. Which patterns of social interaction (nonverbal, vocal, verbal) might a disciplined body exhibit?

The Mirroring Style Mode of action: consumption Control: predictable


Desire: producing Other-relatedness: monadic Self-relatedness: associated With regard to control, the mirroring body makes itself predictable through consumption of dominant cultural values. This body reflects that which is readily available around it, and the institutional structures of consumer society are designed to facilitate this body's assimilation of culture's most prized objects. When this body's corporeality is lost, it can flip to a more disciplined style. When boundaries become more open, this body can flip to a communicative style. With regard to desire, the mirroring body is endlessly producing and reproducing desire in order to keep the fear of its own contingency unconscious. Consumption is less about actual material acquisition than it is about producing desire. This body sees an object and immediately aligns itself with that object; its desire is to make the object part of its own image. Thus, the object becomes a mirror in which this body style sees itself reflected. With regard to other-relatedness, the mirroring body remains open to the exterior world, but is exceptionally monadic in its appropriation of that world. This body's goals are all about self-reflection and assimilation of objects to its own body/mind. Nothing in the world challenges its consciousness of itself; outside of the mirror of its own body, there is no reality. On the dimension of self-relatedness, the mirroring body is highly associated with its own surface. This body exists in order to be decorated; the interior is far less important than the exterior. This body continually reproduces itself by internalizing objects through a consumptive process. Which patterns of social interaction (nonverbal, vocal, verbal) might a mirroring body exhibit?

The Dominating Style Mode of action: force Control: contingent Desire: lacking Other-relatedness: dyadic


Self-relatedness: dissociated With regard to control, the dominating body is contingent on others. This contingency, and the unpredictability that it can bring, is negotiated through force. The world of the dominating body is a world of warfare, violence, conflict, intimidation and coercion. However, this body is as threatened as it is threatening, and threatened by itself as much as it is by others. The need to dominate others is a need to control the projection of the internal contingency that threatens them; this body is perpetually threatened by new contingencies. With regard to desire, the dominating body is lacking. This lack is characterized by fear and anxiety, which is neutralized by dominating and oppressing others. This body lacks power; therefore it overcompensates. With regard to other-relatedness, the dominating body is dyadic – other bodies are absolutely necessary, even if they are viewed as subhuman and dispensable. This body seeks out others so it can neutralize its fear of its own contingency through the act of force. Reducing others – verbally, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually – makes this body and the social interaction it encounters more predictable to itself. On the dimension of self-relatedness, the dominating body must be dissociated from itself in order to punish and absorb punishment. Because of this body's high sense of lack, it cannot know itself; it can only reproduce itself through a medium of force. This body must never become too familiar with itself; it must only be an agent for and a source of fear. Which patterns of social interaction (nonverbal, vocal, verbal) might a dominating body exhibit?

The Communicative Style Mode of action: recognition Control: contingent Desire: producing Other-relatedness: dyadic Self-relatedness: associated


With regard to control, the communicative body achieves equity through a medium of recognition, which is mutual. Recognition is both the medium and the outcome of interaction. For this body, contingency is not perceived as its problem but as its possibility; therefore fear and anxiety have no place as a motivating factor in dealing with others. This is a body that is in a continual process of creating itself; it is in constant emergence. With regard to desire, the communicative body is highly producing. What it desires most is interpersonal, mutual, equitable understanding. The desire to create shared narratives is essential to the mutual recognition on which relations with others are grounded; these narratives tend to be highly embodied. With regard to other-relatedness, the communicative body is obviously dyadic in its pursuit of mutual recognition and validation. Empathy and curiosity are salient characteristics of a communicative body. This body is all about the capacity for recognition that is enhanced through the sharing of narratives that are fully embodied. What is shared is one person's sense of another's experience, primarily its vulnerability and suffering, but also its joy and creativity. On the dimension of self-relatedness, the communicative body is highly associated. One reason is because this style tends to actively use its body to connect with others on an emotional and physical level, whether through performance, caregiving, or the sharing of information. This body is exceptionally good at making others realize their own talents, skills and good qualities, but also does not shy away from the darker aspects of other people's experiences. Which patterns of social interaction (nonverbal, vocal, verbal) might a communicative body exhibit?


THE ART AND CRAFT OF VOICE Carol Berg and Susan Mackay Smith

Goals: To create distinct and memorable individuals and immerse the reader in their story Two aspects of voice

– a writer’s own literary voice or storyteller’s voice: how the writer tells a story – persona or character voice

What literary voice is Storyteller’s voice, or style, suits the story being told; it shows most clearly in narrative and exposition, though not only here. * Ties to book genre: noir compared to high fantasy compared to humor, etc. * Crucial for omniscient narrator stories, and for those with multiple viewpoints * Nuanced from character to character, and the links between * Part of a writer’s toolbox What persona voice is and what it is not

Persona voice engages our readers in the personality and world view of our characters. * Is the expressive communication of personality * Is not just dialect, not just city/country, not just OMG teenagers or hard-boiled f-word flingers * Is not solely expressed in dialog, but also in the narrative and description from the point-of-view character * Is not solely the expression of a first person point of view, but also of intimate third * Is not the only way to tell a story Uses of voice * Places a story in time/history/culture

* Identifies character wrt/ education, background, social milieu


* Reflects religious beliefs, cosmology, superstitions * Exposes a character’s internal life – attitudes, beliefs, values ** actions, reactions, reasons, and emotions, not just visuals. * Exposes a character’s defining characteristic * Shows how the character’s mind works

NB: Voice reflects and reveals character. It does not define character. Tools for creating voice * Word choice * Grammar and word order * What the narrator chooses to describe and in what terms * Choice of similes and metaphors * Era-dependent slang, oaths, insults, or idiom * Sentence length and type, complexity, fragmentation * Speech patterns: contractions, repetition, self reference in third person, rhythm, and lilt Caveats How much is too much? Constant slang, constant snarkiness, thick dialect grates on the readers’ inner ear and become tiresome, annoying, or even incomprehensible. Subtlety is key. Developing character voice requires Ear Training Some books to read for excellent persona voice:

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco The Reivers by William Faulkner


The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver English Passengers by Matthew Kneale Thomas the Rhymer by Ellen Kushner To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon The Copper Elephant by Adam Rapp The Crystal Cave, et al by Mary Stewart All the King’s Men by Robert Penn Warren Farewell My Lovely, et al., Raymond Chandler Ridley Walker, by Russell Hoban The Color Purple, by Alice Walker

Some exemplars of terrific storytellers’ voices: The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien Lord of Misrule, by Jaimy Gordon Master and Commander, et al., by Patrick O’Brien Beloved, by Toni Morrison Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen Ringworld, by Larry Niven Alice In Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, by Lewis Carroll


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The Devil's Cup: Poisons A presentation by Martha Husain, Pharm. D.

at the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers' Colorado Gold Conference September 9, 2011

1) Potential Uses of poisons in fiction

a) Murder i) Death ii) Threatened death/harm

b) Suicide c) Abortions d) Accidental deaths e) Executions f) Terrorism g) Debilitation

i) Physical ii) Mental

2) Definition of Poison

a) Paracelsus: "Everything is a poison. There is poison in everything." o Water toxicity o Oxygen

b) New Oxford American Dictionary:

poison |ˈpoizəәn| noun a substance that, when introduced into or absorbed by a living organism, causes death or injury, esp. one that kills by rapid action even in a small quantity.

3) The Perfect Poison

a) Cannot be detected by the victim i) Tasteless ii) Odorless iii) Colorless iv) Non-irritating

b) Quantity required is small (potent) c) Easily obtained

i) Low cost ii) Available without restrictions (military, medical, connections)

d) Effective i) All individuals react predictably ii) Death occurs at a time convenient for the killer

(1) Quickly


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(a) Victim cannot save herself or give away who dunnit (2) Lag time for killer to get away (3) Slowly

(a) Mimic diseases (b) Increase victim's suffering

e) Irreversible i) No antidote available ii) No other treatment can save victim

f) Will not harm unintended victims (such as the murderer) g) Undetectable after death

i) Death does not lead to suspicion of murder or poisoning ii) Disappears quickly from body iii) Evades currently means of detection iv) No way to link to killer

4) Sources of Poisons a) Minerals

Antimony, thallium, arsenic, potassium b) Gases

Carbon monoxide, mine gases

c) Plants Foxglove--digitalis Hemlock Lilies Yew (taxane)

d) animals asp poison arrow frogs spiders blue-ringed octopus puffer fish

e) microorganisms Botulinum Anthrax

f) Chemicals i) Industrial

Hydrochloric acid Carbon tetrachloride Formaldehyde

ii) Chemical Warfare Phosgene Lewisite

g) Drugs i) Medical

• Valium • Insulin


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• Tylenol ii) Illicit

• Heroin • Cocaine

5) Poisons in Fiction • Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (Romeo)--not specified, possibly mandrake,

Hamlet et al: Claudius poisoned King Hamlet with hebenon (no one knows for sure what that is)

• Snow White--poison apple • Dune--Leto Atreides I--poison gas capsule concealed in tooth • Agatha Christie--The Mysterious Affair at Styles--strychnine

6) Poisons in History

a) Hemlock Socrates 399 BC

b) Asp's bite Cleopatra 30 BC

c) Arsenic Agrippina (15 - 39 AD)

o Murdered husband to marry her uncle, Emperor Claudius o Eliminated advisors, poisoned Claudius's wife Valeria o Had her son Nero married to Claudius's daughter Octavia o Poisoned Claudius's heir Britannicus o Poisoned Claudius o Her son, Nero, became emperor. Had Agrippina murdered, though not

with poison. The Borgias (1400s)

o Pope Callixtus III, Rodrigo, Cesare, and Lucrezia o Used a white powder, "La Cantarella"--almost certainly arsenic

trioxide--to poison various people o Got the recipe from the Spanish Moors o HBO series

Catherine Deshayes Monvoisin (1600's) o La Voison o Midwife wealthy from performing illegal abortions and satanic rites,

providing love potions and poisons o Convicted of witchcraft, burned in public in France, 1620.

Hélène Jégado o Housemaid o Poisoned about 30 people with arsenic trioxide o Marsh Test used to confirm use of arsenic in murders o Guillotined in France, Feb. 1852

Mary Cotton (1832-1873) UK

Mary Ann Cotton, She's dead and she's rotten


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She lies in her bed, With her eyes wide open Sing, sing, oh, what can I sing, Mary Ann Cotton is tied up with string Where, where? Up in the air Sellin' black puddens a penny a pair.

o Murdered her mother, 3 husbands, a lover, 8 of her own children, 7

stepchildren o All deaths diagnosed as "gastric fever" o Used a deworming compound, easily obtained o Reinsch test used to detect arsenic in the remains of her last victim and

the exhumed body of other victims o Hanged March, 1873 (hangman used a "short drop" to make sure she

died slowly) Vera Renczi (1903-1960?),

o Romanian serial killer who used arsenic to kill two husbands, a son, and 32 suitors.

Michael Swango (U.S.) o "Double-O Swango"-- a license to kill o doctor from Southern Illinois University School of Medicine o 1983 surgical internship at Ohio State University Medical Center,

accused of putting something in patient's IV drip o Quincy, IL (1984-85) poisoned co-workers with arsenic o Convicted, sentenced to 5 yrs prison, out after 2 yrs o University of SD--changed name, forged documents, got a medical

license o Caught when he tried to join AMA o Fled to Zimbabwe, Zambia. Killed patients there o Arrested when he returned to US. Life imprisonment. o Incarcerated at ADX Florence, Fremont County, Colorado

d) Manchineel poison ("apple of death" tree) (irritantblisters) Juan Ponce de Leon (d. 1521)

• Arrow poisoned with machineel sap struck his thigh. e) death cap mushroom

Pope Clement VII (d. 1534) Charles VI, Holy Roman Emperor (d.1740), ate poisonous mushrooms

f) cyanide

Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, Heinrich Himmler

Peoples Temple cult-members (1978), over 900 killed by cyanide-laced punch at Jonestown.

g) Fugu (fish used in sushi)

Bandō Mitsugorō VIII (d. 1975), Japanese kabuki actor, ate four livers of fugu fish


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h) ricin (toxin from castor bean)

Georgi Markov (d. 1978), Bulgarian dissident, — Assassinated in London with ricin in perforated bead

i) sarin gas

i) Tokyo subway attacks by Aum Shinrikyo cult

• June 27, 1994: 7 killed, 200 injured

• March 20, 1995: 12 killed, 1034 injured

j) Radioactive material

Roman Tsepov (d. 2004), Russian businessman poisoned by unspecified radioactive material

Alexander Litvinenko (d. 2006), Russian ex-spy and investigator, died three weeks after being poisoned by radioactive polonium-210

7) Specific Poisons

a) Classic Poisons i) Arsenic

(1) Arsenic Trioxide

• Colorless, almost tasteless (slight sweet taste),

• Dissolves in food drinks with difficulty, but heat helps

• Causes gastric distress--burning in esophagus, vomiting blood

• Death from circulatory collapse

• Historically a favorite of poisoners--many cases (see above)

• Cause of death undetectable until Marsh Test developed, 1836

• Treatment: activated charcoal, chelating agents (dimercaprol, succimer), supportive care.

• Sources:

o Historically found in rat poison, fly papers, deworming compounds.

o Found in Vichy waters (2 ppm) and Dr. Fowler's solution (1786). Used to treat neuralgia, syphilis, lumbago, epilepsy, skin disorders, tertian fever (malaria).

Dr. Ehrlich's Magic Bullet--received Nobel Prize Medicine 1908 for Neosalvarsan--treat trypanosomiasis (sleeping


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sickness, syphilis)

o Also reportedly an aphrodisiac

Styrian defense

• Arsenic needed by body. Can improve health

• Arsenic Eaters of Styrian Alps (1800's)

o Arsenic trioxide scrapped off smelting chimneys, sprinkled on food like salt

o Sweet taste.

o Breathe easier at high altitude, more energy, better digestion, increased sexual potency, rosy cheeks

o Causes goiter

o Tolerance developed. Normally toxic doses could be consumed

o Copper Arsenite and Copper acetate Emerald green color (Paris Green)

Used in paint, wallpaper, soap, lampshades, children's toys, candles, cake decorations, artificial flowers, candies

Use in wallpaper:

• In damp environments, bacteria would feed on the wallpaper paste and try to removed As As(CH3)3 (Trimethylarsine gas--very toxic)

• Bedrooms decorated with arsenical paints or wallpapers caused people to get sick (Gosio's disease). But it got rid of bedbugs!

• Napoleon Bonaparte

o Body perfectly preserved when exhumed 20 years after death. (sign of arsenic or antimony poisoning)

o Hair contained 100 times normal levels of As

o Preserved wallpaper sample from home for his imprisonment on Saint Helena proved it


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contained arsenic. (Green was Napoleon's favorite color).

ii) Cyanide (1) Chemistry:

• carbon triple bonded to nitrogen

• anion (CN-) is the toxin

• common forms: hydrogen cyanide gas, postassium cyanide or sodium cyanide crystalline solids

(2) Sources:

(a) Plants:

Stones of fruits:

• Apples, mangoes, peaches, bitter almonds

Casava root (source of tapioca)

Alternative medicine: agmygdalin (found in almonds, apricot kernels) marketed as a "cure" for cancer

"Cyanic glucoside can be found in varying amounts in Johnson Grass, peach seeds, cherry pits, apple seeds, green beans, bitter almonds, peas, apricots, cassava root, elderberries, flax seeds, choke cherries and bamboo shoots. The bamboo shoot contains the highest amount of cyanic glucoside or cyanide sugar."

• Read more: Natural Source of Cyanide in Plants |

eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_5201273_natural-source-cyanide-plants.html#ixzz1QoNxCPb6

Apple seeds (and other seeds containing cyanide) must be chewed to release the toxin. Body can detoxify the little cyanide they contain. A huge number of seed would have to be eaten to harm someone.

Prolonged exposure to Sodium Nitroprusside (drug used to decrease blood pressure)

(b) Combustion product:

Internal combustion engines, tobacco smoke, burning certain plastics

(3) MOA: inhibits enzyme in mitochondria necessary for cellular respiration -


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-cells unable to use oxygen (turning O2 to H20)

(4) Symptoms/Course

• Skin turns pink (CN-Hemoglobin complexes)

• Shortness of breath, faintness

• Death from chemical asphyxia

(5) Uses

• Nazi gas chambers

• US: judicial executions

• Ant poison

• Gold and silver mining

• Sodium nitroprusside (rapidly decreases blood pressure)

• Prussian Blue

o Dark blue pigment (the "blue" in blueprints)

o Used as an antidote for thallium and radioactive caesium poisonings

(6) Treatment

Sodium thiosulfate

Changes iron in hemoglobin from ferrous to ferric, creating methemoglobin, which binds up cyanide, preventing it from poisoning cells. Also converts to thiocyanate, which is excreted.

(7) How cyanide poisoning can go wrong:

Lack of stomach acid

• HCN is the deadly form of cyanide

• The Russian mystic Rasputin was fed enough cyanide to poison five men, but survived. Had to be clubbed, shot, tied up, and drowned before he died. Reportedly suffered hyperacidity--did he take something to lower acidity of stomach?

iii) Strychnine

• Source: trees: St. Ignatius bean, native to Phillipines, nux vomica of Indonesia

• Used by Chinese and Indian as medicine since ancient times--stimulant


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• 1753: tree genus named Strychnos by Carl Linnaeus.

• Usually swallowed, but can be inhaled or absorbed through eyes (dust)

• Effects:

o central nervous system (CNS) excitement: convulsions of entire body, arched body, staring eyeballs

o Painful way to die. Victim conscious entire time.

o Cause of death: asphyxia from paralysis of respiratory muscles.

• Treatment

o Activated Charcoal/gastric lavage (remove toxin)

o Tannic acid (strong tea) to oxidize toxin

o Phenobarbital, Diazepam or other BDZ for seizures

o Dantrolene for muscle rigidity iv) Antimony

Symptoms similar to Arsenic

No biological role

Violent vomiting usually prevents any absorption

• Perpetual pills used to treat constipation

Cumulative poison

• T ½ = months

Stibine gas (SbH3)--antimony alloys come into contact with strong acids, including rain

Marsh Test also used to detect antimony, but reacts differently

Ancient Egyptians used to treat fever and skin conditions

• Tartar Emetic (1631)

o Potassium antimony tartrate

A cure-all, esp. good for fevers

• Stibophen

o 1915, agent discovered for treating schistosomiasis, trichinosis, trypanosomiasis (praziquantel used today)

o still used in resistant leishmaniasis

• Used in bullets, car batteries, glass, ceramics, pigments, semi-conductors, radio-pharmaceuticals, flame retardants


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o SIDS?

Used as flame retardant in crib mattresses

Bacteria + urine + mattressstibine gascrib death

Large studies could not confirm

Putting babies to sleep on back has helped anyway

• Use in Murders

o tartar emetic the preferred agent

o a favorite of those with medical knowledge

Advantages

• Very water soluble

• Faint metallic taste easily masked

• Widely available (at one time)

• Cheap ($1 in today's money)

Disadvantages

• Individual reactions vary

• Toxic dose unpredictable

• Persists indefinitely in a corpse

• Cases

o Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Died of "milliary fever"--fever with rash

• Common symptoms of Ab poisoning (renal damage)

Was he murdered? Several suspects:

• Student who had affair with M's wife

• Man whose wife M had an affair with

• Rival, who actually confessed to the murder

But Mozart was a hypochondriac

• Ab prescribed by his physician for melancholia

• When this treatment resulted in Ab's usual fever, Ab again given to reduce the fever.


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Mercury also given as a laxative

• Mozart may easily have been one of those people who is sensitive to Ab poisoning

o Dr. William Palmer (1824-1856)

Married for money. Poisoned mother-in-law with Ab hoping wife would inherit more money

Poisoned his 10 illegitimate children (strychnine or tartar emetic)

Poisoned people he lost money to through gambling

Took out insurance policies on wife, brother. Poisoned them with antimony. Insurance refused to pay. Insurance reform laws passed.

Ab found in remains of victims. Hung before a crowd of 30,000 (UK)

o Dr. Edward Pritchard (1825-1865)

Royal Navy surgeon

Poisoned wife with tartar emetic. Poisoned mother-in-law.

Bodies exhumed, Ab found.

Pritchard hanged before a crowd of 100,000.

o Florence Bravo (1846-1878)

Made a regrettable marriage

Husband drank a carafe of water poisoned with Ab. Died 3 days later.

Source--deworming compound from stables? (coachman?)

Accident?

• Ab used as aversion therapy for drunks (both Bravos drank heavily)

• Mr. B took as a purgative?

• Mrs. B gave to Mr. B to cool his advances on her?

Jury decided Bravo was murdered, but couldn't say who


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did it.

o Severin Klosowski (George Chapman)

Suspected of being Jack the Ripper

Once apprenticed to a barber-surgeon, dropped out of college of surgery.

Kept having to move/change name to avoid paternity suits

Poisoned three "wives" with Ab. Caught, executed. v) Ricin

(1) From the Castor Bean--8 beans lethal

(2) Causes nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, low blood pressure, high heart rate, seizures for up to a week.

(a) 1978: Georgi Ivanov Markov

(i) Bulgarian dissident

(ii) Poisoned with ricin in tiny pellet, shot into his leg with modified umbrella

b) Chemical Warfare agents

i) Nerve gases

(1) Heavier than air

(2) Odor not particularly noticeable, no warning

(3) Need military clearance to obtain

(4) Can be absorbed through skin

(5) Cause muscle stimulationseizuresrespiratory collapse

(6) Treatment:

(a) Diazepam for seizures

(b) Convulsive Antidote for Nerve Agent (CANA)

(c) Atropine (must be given immediately)

(d) 2-PAM

(e) All clothing must be removed

(f) Resucers must have training, protective clothing, breathing apparatus

(7) Sarin

(a) Most volatile, odorless


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(8) Soman (a) Camphor odor

(b) Irreversibly blocks nerve cells

(c) Does not last long in environment

(9) Tabun

(a) Used in food/water

(10) VX (a) Low volatility, skin contact most toxic

(b) Accumulates in body

(c) Antidotes available

(d) "VX-2" the poison used in movie, The Rock

ii) Vesicants

(1) Produce irritation of skin, blistering, necrosis

(2) Lewisite

(a) Arsenic-based vesicant, odor of geranium

(b) Produced for WWI and WWII, never used. Barrels dumped in the Atlantic ocean.

(c) Antidote: BAL (British Anti-Lewisite)

(3) Sulfur Mustard (4) Manchineel

(a) manzanilla de la muerte, "little apple of death."

(b) one of the most poisonous trees in the world. Marked with red "X" (or band painted on trees in French Antilles).

(c) Found in Florida, Caribbean, Central and S. America

(d) Sap contains irritants--standing under the tree blistering

(i) Caribs used for poison arrows. Tied captives to tree to execute.

(e) Fruitfatal if eaten (one apple kills 20 people)

(f) Smoke from burning blindness

(i) Burning poison ivylung irritationdeath

iii) Pulmonary Agents

(1) Chlorine (a) Irritation pulmonary edema


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(b) Produced by mixing cleaning agents with bleach with ammonia

(2) Phosgene

(a) Not immediately irritating--very dangerous characteristic because victim does not know to evacuate, increases exposure

(b) Used in ripening fruit (strawberries, tomatoes)

c) Pesticides i) Chlorinated Hydrocarbons

(1) Insecticides

(2) Lindane (lice treatment)

(3) DDT (4) Neurotoxinsdecrease nervous system activityseizures, respiratory

failure, death

(5) Stored in fatty tissue

(6) Some people died from eating grains/vegetables sprayed with insecticide

ii) Nicotine

(1) Stimulates nervous system

(2) Death from respiratory failure

(3) Tx: atropine

(4) Can be absorbed through skin

(a) Transdermal patches for smoking cessation--very dangerous if swallowed

iii) Organophosphates

(1) Parathion>diazinon>malathion

(2) Stimulate parasympathetic nervous system

(a) SLUD syndromeresp. arrest

(3) Absorbed through skin

(4) Tx: atropine, pralidoxime

d) Radioactive agents i) Caesium-137 ii) Radioactive Thallium

iii) DNA damage kills cells throughout the body

(1) GI: nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, abdominal pain


15

(2) Blood: drop in all blood products

(a) RBCs--anemia (fatigue)

(b) White blood cells--infections

(c) Platelets--bleeding

(3) Nervous system

(a) Headaches, dizziness, fever, decreased consciousness

(4) Skin--burns

(5) Multiple Organ Failure death

(a) Liver, pancreas, kidneys, heart--everything fails

e) Biologicals

i) Anthrax (Bacillus anthracis bacteria spores)

(1) Found in soil worldwide

(2) Inhaled most spores (most casualties) activate in lymph nodesrespiratory distress

(3) Tx: Antibiotics (Cipro, doxycycline, penicillin) for 60 days

(4) 2001 anthrax attacks

(a) letter sent to Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle contained anthrax powder (spores). Killed two postal workers

(b) Letter also sent to Sen. Patrick Leahy. Both letters sent in October 2001

(c) In September, letters sent to ABC, NBC, CBS, NY Post, National Enquirer/Sun--one man died.

ii) Botulism (1) Clostridium botulinum produces neurotoxindescending paralysisresp.

failure death

(2) used medically as a wrinkle remover. 0.7 mcg needed to kill

(3) Tx:

(a) horse-derived antitoxin available from local Health Departments. Less allergenic, more effective antitoxin available from US Army

(b) BIG-IV (Botulinum Immune Globulin-Intravenous)

(i) Derived from human blood, only product for infants

(4) Danger in home-canning of non-acid foods


16

(a) Must heat to 250° for 3 minutes to kill spores

(b) Exploded, leaking containers should not be eaten

(c) But often no way to tell

(d) Kills 50% of victims

f) Smallpox

i) Variola virus

ii) 30% fatality overall, but varies by presentation

iii) no reported cases since 1976. Immunizations stopped.

iv) Immunization lasts only 20 years

v) Last stores of virus still not destroyed

vi) Potential use by terrorists?

Plants

g) Mushrooms

i) Great way to poison the unsuspecting--no way to know they are poisonous

ii) Toxins cause hemorrhage, hemolysis, liver failure

iii) More than four hours of symptoms is usually fatal

iv) Most victims amateur mushroom hunters

v) Usually no treatment

(1) Milk Thistle used at St. Louis University Medical Center

(a) Protects liver from damage by toxins

vi) Death Cap (1) 6 - 15 hr to reaction, death in 4 -7 days

(2) no antidote. Will need liver transplant

vii) Deadly Webcap and Fool's cap (1) Kills silently by destroying liver and kidneys (transplant needed)

(2) Often confused with edible chantarelles

(3) Even a taste, spit out, will kill (use on a stamp? Envelope?)

viii) Galerinas

(1) Damage kidneys, also liver, reproductive organs, heart, nervous system, intestines

(2) No antidote, treatment


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(3) Grow alongside and resemble popular hallucinogenic mushrooms:

(a) Psilocybe semilanceata

(i) "magic mushrooms"

(ii) vivid hallucinations

ix) Turbantop (false morel)

(1) Resembles a brown brain

(2) Damages liver, CNS. Causes hemolysis

(3) Cumulative poison

(4) Vit B6 (pyridoxine) helps with nerve damage

(5) Edible if cooked properly--chocolate odor

h) Manchineel--see chemical warfare

i) Paternoster Pea i) Seeds used for trial by ordeal in Middle Ages: guilty die, innocent live

ii) Poison released only if seeds chewed

j) Oleander i) Native to Asia. Popular poison in India, esp for suicides

ii) Used to treat leprosy, as an abortifaecient,

iii) Contains Oleandrin and neriin, which are cardiac glycosides (like digitalis)

iv) One of the most toxic plants--all parts toxic--do not use for BBQ skewers or firewood

v) Poison Honey (1) Honey made from nectar of poisonous plants

(2) Other poisonous honeys (known to ancient Greeks as well):

(a) Rhododendron, azalea, dwarf laurel, goatsbane, ever-green yew, hemlock, chestnut trees, kalmia (lamb-kill plants), yellow jessamine

(b) Bees avoid jasmine, wood laurel, rhododendron except when no other flowers available

(c) Honey from poison ivy not harmful

k) Yew i) Taxane toxin found in all parts of plant, even when dried

ii) Most toxic to horses, people would have to eat a lot of foliage or berries--poisoning rare


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(1) Bow makers who handle yew wood?

iii) Used in chemotherapy, especially breast cancer

iv) Taxane disrupts cell-division

v) No antidote. Survival of poisoning is rare

l) Foxglove (Dead Man's Bells, Witches' Gloves)

i) Digitalis, digoxin, digotoxinirregular heartbeat or heartblock

(1) Used in medicine to correct arrhythmias

ii) Leaves particularly toxic, but just a nibble or a deeply inhaled breath enough to kill

iii) Dried plants still toxic

iv) Water from vases that held foxglove is toxic

v) Tx: Digibind® (Digoxin Immune Fab)--immune globulin to bind digitalis

(1) Also phenytoin, lidocaine, magnesium to treat arrhythmias until immune globulin obtained.

m) Black Hellebore

i) Used by ancient Greeks as an emetic and as a poison

ii) Also used to lower blood pressure and heart rate, used in pre-eclampsia during pregnancy, and to treat mental illness, mania. Acts as an antibiotic and insecticide

iii) Used in magic and witchcraft

iv) Irritant and CNS depressant--severe vomiting, blurred vision, pins and needles, heart arrhythmia, seizures, weakness, unconsciousness, death

n) Tansy (mugwort)

i) Aster family--contains thujone and camphor and a compound active against herpes simplex virus (oral and genital herpes)

ii) Used to kill intestinal worms, insect repellent

iii) Used to stimulate menstruation, induce abortions

iv) Used to flavor puddings and sweets, sometimes toxic

v) OD's can kill

vi) Associated with witchcraft

o) Hemlock i) Can be mistake for parsley leaves or parsnips roots. Tastes similar to lettuce.


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ii) 6-8 leaves can be fatal. Roots more toxic.

iii) Native to temperate Europe, Mediterranean. Imported to U.S., grows as weed.

iv) Toxin coniine (similar structure to nicotine) is a neurotoxin, paralyzes muscles

(1) binds to nicotinic acetylcholine receptors with greater affinity than neurotransmitter, blocks nerve signal

(2) ascending paralysis, until respiration stopsashphyxiation

(3) Curare works the same way

(a) Obtained from Strychnos toxifera plant

(b) Used for poison arrows

v) Flesh of animals who ate hemlock can kill humans

vi) No antidote. Artificial respiration may keep victim alive until poison wears off (48-72 h)

p) Rhubarb leaves i) Leaves contain oxalic acidkidney damage, renal failure, death

q) Lilies of the valley

i) Every part toxic, even the water a cutting is kept in

ii) Similar effect to digitalis--used medically since ancient times for cardiac problems

r) Nightshade family

i) tomato, potato, tobacco, belladonna, chili pepper, and Jimson weed plants

ii) all contain substances that are toxic: atropine, hyoscyamine, scopolamine, hyoscine, solanine, etc.--anticholinergics (block parasympathetic nervous system)increase heart rate, blurred vision, excitation, nausea, dry mouth, constipation

(1) tomato--leaves and stem--atropine, tomatine

(2) potato--leaves, stems, sprouts, fruit--solanine, chacocine

(a) don't eat green potato chips

(b) toxin builds up in fatty tissue, released when lose weight

(3) tobacco--nicotine

(a) 40-60 mg lethal for humans

(b) pack of Marboros: 16-24 mg


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(c) can be absorbed through skinfatal

(d) patches available in 14 and 21 mg--enough to kill a child

(4) Jimson Weed

(a) Reportedly has poisoned more people than any other plant

(b) A deliriant--used recreationally, but easy to overdose

(c) Smoked with Cannabis for mystical sacraments in India

(5) Chili peppers--capsaicin--pepper spray

(a) Intense irritant, overexposure can kill

(6) Deadly Nightshade/Belladonna

(a) Extremely toxic, one of the most toxic plants in the western hemisphere

(b) Used for cosmetic purposes--women used to dilated pupils, look more beautiful

(c) Contains atropine--antidote for organophosphate poisoning

(i) Cholinergic effects: Increases heart rate and blood pressure, dry mouth, no sweating, hot, dizzy

(7) Mandrake--atropine, scopolamine, hyoscyamine

(i) Causes delirium, hallucinations, coma

(8) Petunias

(a) Toxic to insects, non-toxic to dogs and cats

8) Gases

a) Carbon monoxide i) Binds irreversibly to hemoglobin in blood

ii) Blood cannot carry oxygen, skin may be bright "cherry red."

iii) Silent, odorless killer. Victims unaware of exposure

iv) Produced by partial burning of carbon-containing compounds

v) Examples:

(1) using BBQ grill to heat home

(2) running car in closed garage

(3) furnace malfunction

b) Mine gases

i) Hydrogen Sulfide


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(1) Rotten egg/swamp gas

(2) Reduces oxygen supplysuffocation

(3) Low concentrations will deaden olfactory nerves

(4) High concentrationscoma, death

(5) Occurs wherever organic matter decays--sewers, manure pits, mines

(6) One-whiffunconscious

9) Metals

a) Mercury

i) Vaporizes easily, vapor very toxic

ii) Broken thermometers not a threat unless they vaporize

iii) 1500s, 1600s, Mined in Spain, transported to New World, used to extract gold and silver sent back to Spain

iv) Acute poisoningdifficulty breathing, pulmonary edema

(1) King Charles II of England (1630 - 1685) attempted alchemy--making gold with mercury

(a) Mercury exposure in labacute toxicity, seizures, respiratory failure

(b) Mercury role first hypothesized by Barbara Cartland

v) Chronic poisoningtremors, paranoia, insomnia, madness

(1) Mad hatters

(2) Gilders

(3) Alchemists

(a) Isaac Newton (1643-1747)--15x normal levels of mercury, 5x normal lead, arsenic, and antimony--still lived to be 84

(i) Suffered insomnia, paranoia, tremors

(4) Dentistry

(a) Amalgams used in fillings

vi) Murders

(1) Sir Thomas Overbury (1581-1613)--murdered after three attempts while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London by King James I

(2) Roland Burnham Molineux (d.1917)

(a) Murdered two members of the Knickerbocker Club with mercury compounds, over 1) a woman, 2) an insult


22

(b) Aquitted (1901), became a writer. Died in mental hospital (syphilis).

vii) Treatment for mercury poisoning : chelators--Dimercaprol (BAL), succimer, penicillamine

b) Copper i) Exposure from fruit farms: pesticide copper sulfate

ii) Wilson's Disease--inability to utilize copper properly, builds up

iii) Tx: penicillamine (chelator)

iv) 2003, Alberta, Canada: three teen girls stole copper sulfate from chemistry lab and put in blue slushy to disguise taste and color in an attempt to murder another girl. Drink passed around, five other girls tasted it and became ill. No one died.

c) Beryllium i) Displaces magnesium ion in bodyberylliosis: inflammation of lungs

ii) Makes breathing progressively more difficult

iii) "Sucker Bait" by Isaac Asimov--colonists of planet all slowly dying of mysterious illness of lungs--beryllium poisoning

d) Lead i) Found in paints, pottery glazes, leaded glass, lead shot, face/wig powders,

leaded gasoline (now in atmosphere), plumbing, cooking pots

ii) Chronic exposurestored in bones, often resorbed with age, causing relapses

iii) Causes paralysis/weakness of muscles: colic, constipation,

iv) Direct brain effects: headaches, depression, sleeplessness, hallucination, fits, blindness, deafness, coma

v) Acid + lead lead acetate

(1) tastes sweet--sapa (sugar of lead)

(2) Romans had no sweeteners but honey and sapa, made by boiling down wine in lead pans (sugar cane originated in Philippines, reached Europe around 800 AD)

(a) Sapa used by Roman prostitutes to lighten complexion and as a contraceptive/abortifacient

(b) Found in wine

(c) Lead used in Rome for building material--easily malleable, durable (no rust),


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(d) Aristocrats especially had high lead intake, up to 250 mcg/day

vi) White lead used in paints--brilliant white

(1) No longer used, except for historic buildings

(2) Homes older than 1975 may still have lead paint

(3) Renovations maylead dust

(a) Millie, President George Bush's dog, suffered lead poisoning when White House renovated

(4) Children eat paint chips (they taste sweet)

vii) Historic lead poisoning sufferers

(1) Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827), composer (Für Elise, Moonlight Sonata, various symphonies)

(a) Suffered colic, constipation, illnesses all his life, probably from lead

(b) Deafness began in 1796--nervous system damage from lead?

(c) Locks of hair cut after his death analyzed in 2000: 60 ppm lead (100x normal)

(d) Possible sources: lead cistern, pewter drinking vessels

(2) King George III

(a) Suffered repeated bouts of illness and madness

(b) Medical historians have diagnosed him with porphyria because of red color in urine--lead poisoning also has this effect

(c) Other symptoms textbook for acute lead poisoning: constipation, colic, weakness in limbs, difficulty swallowing, sleeplessness, mental disturbancescoma

(d) Descendants known to have porphyria--porphyria increased sensitivity to lead poisoning

(e) Source: King fond of lemonade and sauerkraut (both acid), served in lead glazed vessels, lead decanters, pewter tankards (pewter a lead alloy)lead acetate contamination of food/drink

viii) Lead murders rare

(1) Victims develop characteristic blue line at gums

(2) Pope Clement II (1047)

(a) Previous pope ousted for licentious behavior


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(b) Pope Clement II crowned by German King Henry III

(c) Pope Clement II instituted reforms: barred sale of official positions

(d) Died after nine months in office

(e) Bone samples showed repeated doses of lead over up to three months

(f) Probably murdered with lead oxide in his wine (lead acetate unknown at the time)

(3) Louisa Jane Taylor (d.1883)

(a) Stole from and murdered elderly woman who took her in. Used lead acetate (sugar of lead)

(b) Made the mistake of purchasing the lead acetate from pharmacy run by the wife of the surgeon treating her victim

(4) Thomas Taylor (1858)

(a) Murdered with lead carbonate by his wife and ex-con brother-in-law (having an affair with his wife)

(5) Honora Turner (1858)

(a) Murdered by husband who abandoned her. Slipped lead acetate into her beer

ix) Treatment of Lead poisoning: Dimercaprol, EDTA, Cuprimine (D-penicillimine)

e) Thallium

i) Used to kill vermin, ringworm

ii) Cumulative poison that attacks nervous system

(1) Makes hair fall out

(2) Pins and needles in feet,

(3) Sleeplessness

(4) Muscle paralysis

(5) Profuse sweatingoffensive odor

iii) Uses: high power photography lenses, pesticide in developing countries, hair removal products (1930s)

iv) Reaction varies

v) Treatment: Prussian Blue (contains cyanide)--prevents absorption from intestines (thallium excreted and reabsorbed in intestines--entero-hepatic


25

recirculation)

vi) Use in murders:

(1) Perfect poison?

(a) Advantages: Water soluble, colorless, tasteless, single dose can be fatal, delayed symptoms, usually mistaken for other diseases

(b) Disadvantages: less than fatal dose causes hair loss--gives away the poison. Also, thallium can be detected after death--even after cremation (remains in bones).

(2) George James Trepal

(a) Alturas, FL, 1988: Put thallium nitrate in Coca-Cola of noisy neighbors, after they ignored his death threat asking them to move.

(b) At a Mensa Murder Weekend, an undercover female law enforcement agent coaxed Trepal into revealing what agents one might use for such a murder and how it would be done. Police raided his home, found thallium nitrate.

(c) Convicted in 1991, awaiting execution in Florida.

(3) Saddam Hussein

(a) Thallium sulfate used to get rid of enemies of state, 1979-1980.

(4) Graham Young (1947-1990)

(a) Fascinated with chemicals, poisons, fireworks, murder, medical science, occult, black magic

(b) Poisonings at age 13: killed family cat, sub-lethal poisoning of sister (atropine) and school friend (antimony),

(c) Age 15: poisoned stepmother with antimony, failed to kill father with arsenic or antimony

(d) Told classmates at school of his ambition to be a famous poisoner

(e) Psychiatrist posing as guidance counselor evaluated Young, Young revealed his knowledge of poisons

(f) Young arrested, send to juvenile detention for 15 years.

(g) While in detention, poisoned 23-year old man with cyanide extracted from laurel bushes outside, and put lavatory cleaner in tea urn for fellow inmates.

(h) When released in 1971, got a job in a storeroom, poisoned supervisor


26

and five coworkers with thallium in tea. Recorded doses in his diary. Two died.

(i) During an investigation into the illness after second death, Young stood up and told the investigators the most likely cause was thallium poisoning.

(j) Remains of both victims examined (including cremated remains), thallium found. Young convicted.

(k) Movie: "A Young Poisoner's Handbook."

(l) Young died in 1990, cardiac arrest--or suicide?

10) Animals

a) Snakes

i) Adder

ii) Puff adder

iii) Boomslang

(1) Even small quantities of venom lethal

iv) Pit Vipers

v) Gaboon Viper

(1) Bite may go unnoticed until too late

vi) Mountain Adder

vii) Russel's viper

b) Sea Snakes

i) Extremely toxic

ii) No antivenin

iii) Annulated sea snake lives in reefs, causes numerous deaths

c) Cobra

i) Paralyzes nervous system in minutes

ii) Antivenin available

iii) North African Cobra (asp)

iv) Black Mamba

(1) Two drops of venom can kill a person

d) Cottonmouth (water moccasin)


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i) Venom dissolves tissues, hemorrhages, internal bleeding

ii) Fast--10 minutes to reaction

iii) Antivenin helps, if patient survives long enough

e) Rattlesnake

i) 98% of snakebites in US are rattlesnake bites. Very painful bite.

ii) Antivenin available in most places. Whiskey cure is a myth. Makes venom more toxic.

iii) toxin is acetylcholinesterase

iv) reaction in 15 - 60 minutes

f) Poison dart frogs

i) Used in Gregor the Overlander Series by Suzanne Collins (Hunger Games author)

ii) Only one snake is immune to frog's poison

iii) Victim paralyzed almost immediately

iv) Frogs bred in captivity much less toxic (can be licked)

(1) Insects in diet synthesized into poison.

v) Possible medical use to block pain (200x better than morphine)

g) Ocean Creatures

i) Bivalve Shellfish (oysters, clams, scallops, mussels--most toxic)

(1) Toxic during May - Oct

(2) Curare-like paralysis

(3) 10% fatality

ii) Blue-Ringed Octopus

(1) Paralytic poisonflaccid paralysis

(2) Usually occurs from handling animal--only 6" across, appear innocuous

(3) Victims bitten in water can easily drown

(4) Toxin may disappear from body before found

iii) Conch shells, cone shells

(1) No antiserum

(2) Immediate reaction, death occurs rapidly (unconscious in 1 hour)

(3) Mollusk comes out of shell to sting victim

(4) Poison used in movie "Jurrassic Park" to kill the dinosaurs


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iv) Jellyfish

(1) Venomnecrosis, respiratory and cardiac depression

(2) Can be fatal in minutes

(3) Beached, dead, dried jellyfish still sting weeks to months later

(4) Australian sea wasp--one of the most deadly creatures anywhere

(5) Portuguese Man-of-war--colonies of 1000+ mean victim likely to receive multiple stings

v) Pufferfish (fugu)

(1) Tetraodotoxin (TTX)--prevents nerve pulse propagation, also found in blue-ringed octopus, rough-skinned newt, some sea stars, angelfish,

(a) Produced by symbiotic bacteria (Vibrio, Pseudomonas species) that reside in these animals

(2) >50% mortality

(3) poison found in ovaries and liver and poison sacs of fish. Rest of fish edible (a delicacy) if these are removed

(4) "Zombie powder"--poison used to create suspended animation for days--zombie-making rituals of Haiti and W. Africa

vi) Stingray

(1) Stingerratic heart rhythmheart stops

(2) Sept 2006--Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin killed by 8 ft long barb of stingray. Pierced his heart.

h) Spiders

i) Reaction time and toxicity depend on where bitten--more vascular, more toxic

ii) Black Widow

(1) Bite often not felt

(2) Symptoms begin within an hour

(3) Rarely fatal

iii) Brown recluse

(1) Mostly east of Mississippi River

(2) Initial bite often painless

(3) 2-8 hr--bulls-eye, red ring around bite

(4) medical treatment usually sought, so seldom fatal


29

i) Scorpions

i) Only 1/1000 stings deadly

ii) Antiserum helpful only in first few minutes

iii) If venom is collected and given IM, it is quite deadly

11) Medications

a) Pain meds

i) Tylenol/acetaminophen

ii) Aspirin

iii) Motrin + Tylenol

iv) Narcotics

(1) Codeine, morphine, oxycodone (Percocet), hydromorphone (Dilaudid), fentanyl, hydrocodone and acetaminophen (Vicodin), meperidine (Demerol), propoxyphene and acetaminophen (Darvocet)

(2) Respiratory depression

(3) Addictive, abused

(4) Naloxone is an antidote

b) Sedatives

i) Barbiturates

(1) Marilyn Monroe had OD of Barb. in blood at death

(2) Phenobarbital increases the metabolism of many other drugs

ii) Benzodiazepines

(1) Flurazepam, temazepam, triazolam, carbamazepine

(2) Addictive, abused

c) Blood thinners

i) Warfarin--narrow therapeutic window.

(1) Many drug or food interactions

(2) Must be monitored carefully

d) Neuromuscular Blocking agents

i) Breathing will cease, patient will die without respiratory support

ii) Used in surgery

iii) Antidotes: edrophonium, neostigmine


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iv) Succinylcholine, pancuronium, tubocurarine

e) Antidepressants

i) Tri-cyclics--amitryptiline, desipramine, imipramine, nortryptiline

(1) Can cause arrhythmias

ii) SSRI's--Prozac

(1) Can improve depression to the point of enabling suicide

(2) Serotonin Syndrome (Toxicity)--life threatening: hyperthermic (>106 F, metabolic acidosis, seizures, DIC, resp. failure)

iii) MAOI's

(1) Dangerous food and drug interactionshypertensive crisis

(a) Cannot eat cheese or drink alcohol

f) Antihistamines (allergy/cold meds)

i) Add to sedative effects of other meds

g) Iron

i) One of the most common causes of poisoning in children

ii) Leading cause of poisoning fatalities in small children

iii) Popular for suicide

iv) Tablets stick together and form a bezoar in stomach--ulcerate stomach

v) Absorptionmetabolic acidosis, liver and brain damage

vi) Treatment: deferoxamine (chelating agent) binds up iron in bloodstream

h) Digoxin--see Foxglove

i) Cantharidin (Spanish Fly)

i) Irritant, vesicant

ii) Popular myth holds that it is an aphrodisiac

iii) Corrodes internal organs. Even a little is deadly

j) Quinidine

i) Used to alter electrical conductivity of heart for abnormal heart rates, but can cause ventricular fibrilation

ii) Related to quinine (treatment for malaria)

(1) Found in tonic water

k) Electrolytes

i) Potassium, Sodium, Calcium


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(1) Necessary for bodily functions, but overdoses can kill easily and quickly

(2) 1991, England: Beverly Allitt killed four children with potassium chloride injection, six others were saved.

l) Air Embolism

i) Requires 10cc or more

m) Insulin

i) Hormone that regulates glucose (sugar) metabolism in body

ii) OD hypoglycemia, shock, death

iii) Injection site will give away its use

12) Around the home

a) Food poisoning (botulinum)

b) Redi-Whip/glue huffing

c) Gasoline/hydrocarbons

d) Houseplants

e) Alcohol (ethanol)

i) Depresses CNS

ii) Fatalities occur with acute alcohol poisoning when large quantities are consumed in one hour or less

f) Ethylene Glycol

i) Antifreeze

ii) oxalic acidCauses kidney damage

iii) Tastes sweet, attracts animals and children

iv) Alcoholics sometimes drink it when they can't get alcohol

v) Treatment: prevent formation of oxalic acid with fomepizole or ethanol

The most common poisons among children are:

▪ cosmetics and personal care products

▪ cleaning substances

▪ pain medicine/fever-reducers

▪ coins, thermometers

▪ plants


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▪ diaper care, acne preparations, antiseptics

▪ cough and cold preparations

▪ pesticides

▪ vitamins

▪ gastrointestinal preparations

▪ antimicrobials

▪ arts, crafts and office supplies

▪ antihistamines

▪ hormones and hormone antagonists (diabetes medications, contraceptives)

▪ hydrocarbons (lamp oil, kerosene, gasoline, lighter fluid)

The most common poisons among adults are:

• pain medicine

• sedatives, hypnotics, antipsychotics

• cleaning substances

• antidepressants

• bites and envenomations

• alcohols

• food products and food poisoning

• cosmetics and personal care products

• chemicals

• pesticides

• cardiovascular drugs

• fumes, gases, vapors

• hydrocarbons

• antihistamines

• anticonvulsants

• antimicrobials

• stimulants and street drugs

• plants


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• cough and cold preparations

References:

Klaassen, Curtis. Casarett & Doull's Toxicology: The Basic Science of Poisons, 6th

Edition. McGraw Hill. 2001

Haddad, L., Shannon, M., Winchester, J. Clinical Management of Poisoning and Drug

Overdose, 3rd Edition. WB Saunders Company. 1998.

Stevens, S., and Bannon, A. Howdunit Book of Poisons: A Guide for Writers.

Writer's Digest Books. 2007.

Emsley, John. The Elements of Murder: A History of Poison. Oxford University Press,

2006.


The Faster I Go, The Behinder I Get© 2011 Becky Clark — [email protected]

(I'd be thrilled if you wanted to share this info, but I'm needy, so please give me credit.)

To Do Lists and Schedules• To figure out how long something takes, time yourself 3x doing it as you normally do to get an average, including any interruptions.• Decide tonight what your most pressing task is tomorrow and do it first.• A 'To Do' without a 'when' doesn't get done.• Consider — deleting (what's the worst that can happen if you don't do it?); delaying (rescheduling for a better time); delegating (isthere someone who can do it better, faster, cheaper, or good enough?); diminishing (shortcuts or shaving down)• One system in one place

Dots and Dashes• Learn to concentrate for an hour• A timer is your best friend• Think of tasks as either quick dots or longer dashes• Focus on completion• Physical movement improves concentration

Email• Never check your email first thing in the morning• Respond immediately to emails that will take you less than 2 minutes. If it requires longer, then schedule specific time later in day.• Declare Email Bankruptcy and delete it all• Set yahoo groups or google alerts to weekly digest• Most email isn't critical

Phones• Only check your phone messages at designated times and make sure your kids/spouse/parents know when that is• Get rid of your call-waiting• Unplug during mealtime and when in the car

Facebook• Don't play games• Take shortcuts• Set timer

Procrastination• Bribe yourself• You only have to focus on the task for 5 minutes. Then 5 more. It's the same way we get on the treadmill.• Keep a log for a week. Did you avoid all tasks or just some? See if you can find a pattern.• Find something fun about the task• Break job down into smaller bites• When writing, make it easy to pick up where you left off — stop writing midsentence when you stop for the day/lunch• Start anywhere. Lots of writers start with a scene or with the ending. Just start.• If you don't want to paint the bookcase, don't do it. Either live with the old paint or get someone else to do it.• What's the worst that can happen? If you fail, you never have to do it again, or you learn something that helps you succeed.• Reframe your thinking about the task - yes, it's difficult to write a novel, but not TOO difficult - people do it every day• We're grown ups - we do things we don't want to

Clutter• Declutter everything — all the rooms of your house, all your drawers, car, desk, computer desktop, shelves, cabinets, closets• A place for everything and everything in its place. Never waste time searching for stuff again.• Declutter your brain too• Don't save stuff because you think it might be worth something someday. Visit eBay and find out.• Go for a Trial Separation from your stuff. Box it up, tape it closed, write the date. If it's still taped shut in 6 months, toss it.• Reduce, Reuse and Recycle, and … Refuse. As in refuse to buy any more stuff.

Prioritize• Determine your top priority for the day - the one thing you'd sacrifice everything else to achieve and focus on it.• If your To Do list won't lead you there, cross items off or re-schedule them• Tackle your hardest job first and save your favorite tasks till the end so you look forward to them. Helps with procrastination too.


The Faster I Go, The Behinder I Get 2

• Prioritize like they do in business — which task makes you money?• If they seem equal, ask: How long will it take? What's the return on my time investment? When's the deadline?

Perfectionists• Learn selective perspective. Which things really need to be perfect (query, synopsis, ms) and which can be good enough(housecleaning, store-bought cupcakes for bake sale)?• Figure out who belongs to that voice in your head telling you stuff isn't good enough• Back away if you've worked on it too long. There's a law of diminishing returns.• Impose deadlines on yourself. Something done imperfectly on time is usually better than something late.• Allow yourself the opportunity to do it poorly. Just do it.• Recognize degrees of excellence. On a scale of 1-10, a 7 doesn't look much different from a 10 to most people.

Multi-Tasking• Multi-tasking is a myth; nobody can do it.• Don't confuse multi-tasking with doing a lot of stuff. Multi-tasking is trying to do all those things at the same time.• Your brain simply can't focus on two separate things unless one of them is completely mindless• People multi-task because they're worried. Seems better to work on everything so 100% of your tasks are 50% done. But you'd feelmuch more in control if 50% of your tasks were 100% done and you know you have a plan to finish the other 50%.• Don't confuse activity with accomplishment• Focus on one job till it's done or your time is up. Then focus on another one.

Paperwork• Identify your problem areas - Desktop? Filing system? Emails? Reading material? Piles of stuff?• Then prioritize - which is the biggest problem? Which is costing you the most money?• Every day put things away, write that debit transaction in your check register, add that contact to your database, file that receipt.• Don't let your filing pile up. It makes it that much harder to find stuff.• If you don't have a file cabinet, go buy one.• Put all your papers in 1 pile then sort into categories. Which category is most important? Put it on your To Do list then tackle nextmost important pile.

Delegation• Insourcing and Outsourcing• Make a list of stuff you hate to do. Can anyone do any of those things better? What is your time worth?• Enlist your kids and spouse• Remember to monitor and mentor; don't nag and micromanage. Set expectations/parameters then let it go.• Celebrate their success to breed more.• Don't fall for the old trick of them pretending a crappy job is the best they can do. They do it over until they hit the mark of theexpectations you set out previously. Stand firm.

Just Say No• Decide if a project makes your heart SING or SINK. Even if it makes you sing, say no if it will crack your full loaded plate.• Acknowledge their request by not laughing; address your own limitations; offer an alternative.• Thank you so much for asking, but I'm unavailable then.• It sounds like a terrific opportunity that I'm going to miss.• I know it will be a wonderful party. I'm disappointed to miss out on the fun but I have a conflict on that date.

Interruptions• First defense is education. If my door is closed, I'm working.• Set aside time when people have unconditional access to you, but be consistent and firm. Set timer.• Give them a head's up … "I'm going to shut my door and write starting in about 10 minutes. Do you need anything?"• Practice your catchphrases: I'm in the middle of something. How's 2:00? …This week is impossible, but next Tuesday works.• Ask how much time they need from you. If you can spare it, set timer. Otherwise make appointment.• Keep a log over the next week. Jot down who interrupted, how they interrupted, how long the interruption was, and how important itwas. Then, schedule an intervention for them.• Making yourself unavailable teaches others to make their own decisions and empowers them.• Don't interrupt yourself either. When writing, never stop to look something up - don't give up momentum

Distractions• Cousins to interruptions, but instead of being caused by other people, we create our own distractions.• Focus and prioritize. What's the one thing you need to get done this month/week/day/hour?


The Faster I Go, The Behinder I Get 3

Time Management Resources

• http://www.mindtools.com/pages/main/newMN_HTE.htm — lots of info, much of it business-related• http://www.time-management-guide.com/ — lots of info but a bit superficial• http://www.timemanagement.com/ — also geared toward business, but good info• http://www.slowdownfast.com/how-can-i/ — interesting theory about slowing down to go faster. Some other interesting articles.• www.LazyLowCalLifestyle.com — click on 'free stuff' to get the free menu planning pages and 400-calorie meals• www.ClutterDiet.com — read the articles and the blog.• http://www.chaostoorder.com/blog/ — interesting tips on their blog• "Right-Sizing Your Home" by Gale Steves• "Common Sense Storage: Clever Solutions for an Organized Life" by Creative Publishing International• www.OnlineOrganizing.com — site that brings Professional Organizers, product manufacturers, and the public together• www.NAPO.net — National Association of Professional Organizers• http://www.challengingdisorganization.org — their mission is to benefit people affected by chronic disorganization

Homework and Other Know Thyself Activities

• Make a more complete and thoughtful Stuff I Want To Do Regardless of Time or Money list

• Use a blank 5am-8pm chart for one week to see where you REALLY spent your time. Not what you were supposed to be doing —what you actually did. Be honest! Compare it to your list of Stuff I Want To Do Regardless of Time or Money. Will it get you there? Isyour time in balance? Did it include appropriate amounts of work, physical health, filling your cup and hanging out with people youlove? If not, what areas need help? Can you exercise with a friend (health + people)? Can you watch TV/movies on the treadmill(filling your cup + health)?

• List your top three time wasters. Ask yourself —Why am I doing this? What do I gain? What is the risk? Then ask again every timeyou start to slip away from your plan. Keep a list next week — every time you waste time in those ways (or in delightful new ways),write down how much time slipped away. Total it up at the end of the week. That's a gift to give back to yourself by being mindful ofyour saboteurs.

• Write down everything you want to accomplish in the next 12 months. Don't censor and don't think about how you're going to dothem. Choose the one most important to you and brainstorm how you might accomplish it, what steps to take. Again, don't censor.Choose the unlikeliest step and try it. Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone to see fresh ways to accomplish tasks.

• Now take that same list of what you want to accomplish in the next 12 months and for each item, list all the reasons you tell yourselfyou won't/can't do them. Are you being miserly with yourself? Find a way to take the time you have and do what you love.

• If you want to do a more thoughtful or thorough job on the 5am-8pm chart, here are the categories to shade in:

1. If you have a job outside the house, shade in the hours you work — if you CAN'T carpool or take public transportation, shadein the time you commute also (if you don't have to drive, that frees up your commuting time for something else)

2. If you work at home, then don't shade in anything for your "workday" - those hours will be filled with your To Do list stuff.3. Shade in one hour/day for exercise. Non-negotiable. Doesn't have to be the same time every day. If you don't exercise

regularly right now, just shade in one hour, but I'd advocate for it being first thing in morning.4. Shade in one hour for breakfast and bathing - you may not actually do it at that time, but we want to account for that time5. If you work at home, shade in an hour for lunch (30 min for lunch plus two 15-min breaks). If you work outside the home,

promise that you will take your 30 min lunch and 2 breaks every day and leave your desk. You'll be more productive.6. Shade in one hour for dinner. That will include cooking/eating OR eating/cleaning. Unless you're living alone there is no

reason for you to both cook and clean.7. If you do the menu-planning and grocery shopping, pick a day and shade in one hour to plan your weekly meals, look up

recipes, and make a grocery list. Shade in another hour to do the shopping. Of course this can be two different days. And ifyou know shopping takes longer, then shade in another hour.

8. Look at the list you made of Stuff I Want To Do Regardless of Time or Money. Shade in one hour every day for the things onthat list. "Me Time" never includes any of the things already accounted for. Me Time is to do what you love. Me Time andexercise are the things you're going to be tempted to blow off. But don't. They're non-negotiable and you need to treat themas if they were your most important meeting every day. Trust me.

9. Now put in anything else you know you have to do like if you volunteer every Tues at the food bank or go to church. Do notwrite in 'laundry' or 'helping with homework.' Those will be to-do list items.


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The Nitty Gritty of Book Promotion Presenter: Laura DiSilverio

There is no one “right” way to promote a book since each book has a different audience and each author has different skill sets, different commitments that limit or circumscribe time available for promotion and more or fewer financial resources to commit to marketing his or her books. Formula for Promotion:

Money + Time + Inclination/Ability

Assessing “bang for your buck” is key!

Examples (not all-inclusive—I’ll provide a more in-depth handout of possibilities during the seminar): Money Intense Promotions

- Giveaways (lip balms, combs, pens—items imprinted with your name and/or book title/cover photo)

- Travel outside your geo area for book signings, conventions, book fairs - Website design and maintenance - Hiring a publicist - Buying advertising

Time Intense Promotions

- Your own blog - Travel outside your geo area for book signings, conventions, book fairs - Researching blogs/ezines, names of editors/producers to pitch, addresses of

bookstores, etc. - Mass mailings - Networking/Volunteering

Hook-based Marketing Strategy

“Hook” is a term more often used in the non-fiction world, but it applies to fiction writers as well.

- Understanding your book is KEY o Finding the hooks in your manuscript o Defining your audience

- Author platform: If you have an autistic child, or show Pomeranians, or work as an architect in your “day” job, even if none of these things appear in your book, they open promotional avenues


o What is unique or interesting about YOU?

Social Media Objective Build a loyal fan base, whose long-term purchases justify initial online promotional efforts and costs. Ensure that online efforts amplify on-the-ground activities. The mantra online is “Attract, Engage, Convert.” Ensure that every element in the plan focuses on its proper role in that sequence. Attract Engage Convert ATTRACT ENGAGE CONVERT site SEO optimization Google ads Facebook ads Twitter (use publisher account) author blog guest blogging Goodreads/Shelfari, etc. Facebook fan page Skyping with book clubs

website email list for newsletter

Assessing Impact

- Amazon.com data - FB metrics (see Figure 1) - Click-through rate on Google Ads or FB ads (see Figure 2) - Twitter followers, website hits, number of FB fans/friends, newsletter

subscriptions, etc. - Sales figures

Laura’s FB Fan Page www.lauradisilverio.com/www.liladare.com




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