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2: Count On Character

© 2003-2006 KRP, Inc. All rights reserved.

Written by Bob Rouse

Designed by Pyrographic Media

Photography by PhotoDisc

Sources:

Eleven Principles of Effective Character Educationby Tom Lickona, Eric Schaps, and Catherine Lewis at www.character.org/principles/index.cgi

Moral Development and Moral Education: An Overviewby Mary Elizabeth Murray

Values Education in American Secondary Schoolsby Dale N. Titus at www.hi-ho.ne.jp/taku77/refer/titus.htm

The Book of Virtues by William J. Bennett

www.quoteland.com

www.cyber-nation.com/victory/quotations/quotes_menu.html

Kindness .............................................................................3

Honesty ...............................................................................4

Respect...............................................................................6

Hey, It’s Your Reputation...................................................8

Responsibility ...................................................................10

Fairness ............................................................................12

Tolerance ..........................................................................14TOTALLY

KIND

TOTALLYUNKIND

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Count On Character: 3

“Kind” might sound like plain old “nice,” but it doesn’t end there.

“Kindness” includes “friendly,” “helpful,” and even “sacrificing.”

Acts of kindness have one thing in common: You do them to help

someone without expecting anything in return.

How much do you count on kindness as an important character

trait? Find out by completing the activities on this page.

List five things you can do in the next 24hours to show kindness to others. Be asspecific as you can.

• On a sheet of paper, write down fiveexamples of kind acts that you havegiven or received in the last few weeks.

• Divide into groups of four or five andshare your examples.

• As others are describing kind acts, jotdown a verb that sums up the act,such as “helped,” “gave,” or “listened.”We’ll call these kindness verbs.

• Decide as a group which makes youfeel better: giving or receiving kindness.

As a class, put together a list of kindness verbs from each group’s list. As the teacherwrites each new verb on the board, you write it on the lines below:

• While still in small groups, look throughthe newspaper to find photographs ofkindness in action. How are these peo-ple being kind?

• Jot down the consequences of theiractions and talk about your answers.

• Now, find a photograph or news storyabout a person or group being unkind.Write down the consequences of theirunkindness and discuss how an act ofkindness would have changed thestory or the photo.

• During your discussion, add any newkindness verbs to your list.

Talk with your parents about kindness as a character strength andask who taught them about kindness. Take one of the newspaperphotos you discussed home with you tonight and ask your parentstheir opinions on the kindness shown.

Plan a day of kindness by looking in thenewspaper for clubs or organizations thatdo kind things for other people. Make alist of ways you could help during one 12-hour day. Share your day with the rest ofthe class. (This is a classroom exercise,but if you are truly interested in helping,look for a telephone number of the organi-zation you chose in the paper.)

1. Look at the list of kindness verbs you have written and circle the words thatdescribe things you often do. Do you count on kindness as one of your char-acter strengths?

2. Now look at the thermometer pictured at left. If your kindness could move upthe scale, how high would it go? Shade or color in the scale up to that point.

Turn to the comics and find the kindestcharacter on the page. Try to draw thatcharacter — or cut and paste his picture— in the box below. Can you find anyunkind — mean, grumpy, or selfish —comic strip characters? As a class, dis-cuss the things the characters do or saythat make them kind or unkind.

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”— Aesop (620–560 B.C.)

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4: Count On Character

“Truth is the only safe ground

to stand upon.”

— Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815–1902)

You can count on honesty to build good character. A liar’s

character is weakened by a lie, even one that is never

caught. Honesty gives you freedom, too, because

telling a lie is a burden on your conscience and

your life. One lie always leads to another.

Finally, being honest helps your repu-

tation. Once you’re seen as a dishon-

est person, people won’t believe you

even when you tell the truth.

Honestly now, is honesty one of your

character strengths? You can count on

these activities to find out.

• Write down four situations where telling a lie mightkeep you from getting in trouble —for a while, anyway.

• Get into small groups and discuss the situations youlisted.

• For each situation, talk about the consequencesthat might follow when the truth is discovered.

• Are there ever times that honesty is not the bestpolicy? Discuss.

• As a group, create your own saying about honestyor truth: something like, “To be honest with others,first understand the truth yourself.”

While in small groups, find a news story about threeworld leaders or local officials. Based on the stories oron what you know about the people, decide whetherthey could count honesty as a character strength.Share your thoughts with the rest of the class.

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At home, ask your parents who they think are the most honestpeople they know. Talk about what those people do thatmakes them trustworthy. Share with them your group’s sayingabout honesty.

1. Think for a minute about the times you chose to be honest when you could havetold a lie. Then list three times when you were less than honest about something.You will not be asked to share this list with anyone else.

2. Was it easier to remember times when you were honest or dishonest? What werethe consequences of each situation?

3. Rate your overall honesty by filling in the thermometer at left.

Count On Character: 5

As a class, write and post each group’s saying about honestyfrom activity No. 1. Then discuss the ways that you can tellwhen someone is not being honest. Write the signs of dishon-esty on the lines below. Can you make a saying about dishon-esty?

Look in the employment section of the classified ads. Honesty is a characterstrength that all employers desire in their workers, but which jobs most depend onhonest employees? Write down your answers and discuss them as a class.

Think of a recent instance when you were less than honest with another person. Ona sheet of paper, write what you would say to that person if you were to “fess up”and admit that you had lied. How do you think he or she would react? Will you beable to say what you’ve written?

Turn to the television listings in the newspaper and find a show that features a per-son with a reputation for dishonesty. It might be a comedy, a cartoon, or a soapopera. Share your dishonest character with the class and talk about the conse-quences of his or her dishonesty.

TOTALLYHONEST

TOTALLYDISHONEST

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6: Count On Character

Athletes and coaches often talk about earning their opponents’ respect. See if you canfind any examples of these comments in the sports section. Discuss the many waysthat players can earn respect from other players and fans.

What’s up with respect? On one hand, you’ve been told to respect your elders and torespect one another; in short, every human being deserves respect. On the otherhand, you are told that respect isn’t given to you; you must first earn the respect ofothers. So, everybody deserves respect except you? Get into small groups and writea paragraph that explains this double standard. Be prepared to read your explanationaloud.

Respect is a matter of recognition:

Self-respect is recognizing that you are as important as anybody

else on this earth.

Respect for others means recognizing their rights as people and

understanding life from their point of view.

Respect for authority is recognizing that rules and laws — along

with the teachers, police officers, and other adults who enforce

them — exist so that people can live together peacefully.

Using the exercises, start counting on respect

as character-builder.

In your small group, discuss written and unwritten rules for respecting people and theirproperty in the situations listed below. Each of you take out a sheet of paper, and onone half, list ways of showing respect; on the other half, list disrespectful actions to thefollowing:• A teacher asks you to take off your cap.• You want to borrow a shirt from your brother.• Your grandmother talks to you about the old days.• A mall security officer asks you to stop running.

“Respect commands itself and can neither be given nor

withheld when it is due.”

— Eldridge Cleaver (1935–1998)

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Count On Character: 7

While still in small groups, turn to the letters to the editor in your newspaper and read each onesilently. In many letters, you can find an example of someone not respecting the rights of others.Write down the main issue of respect in each letter — who is not getting respect? Be preparedto discuss your findings with the rest of the class.

TOTALLYRESPECTFUL

TOTALLYDISRESPECTFUL

Talk to your parents about respect. Ask them what changesthey have noticed — since they were kids — in the level ofrespect in the following relationships:• Student to teacher• Kid to parent (you’ve probably heard this before)• Average person to political leader• Average person to sports hero• Average person to average personNext, share your class discussion about respect.

1. Look at your group’s answers to the respectful/disrespectful exercise. Foreach situation, mark with a check the actions you usually take.

2. Do you count on respect as one of your character strengths? Shade inthe thermometer at left to rate the level of respect you generally show toyourself and others.

Over the next 24 hours, show some respect!Try to use the word “respect” when talking toyour parents, friends, teachers, coaches, andeven strangers (when appropriate). You cansay things such as:• “I respect your opinion and want

to ask you about ...”• “Even though I disagree, I respect

your decision (or opinion).”• “I haven’t given you the respect

you deserve.”

As a class, search the newspaper to find theworst examples of disrespect. Pick out four orfive stories and discuss these questions abouteach disrespectful person:• How did he fail to show respect

for another person or group?• Can you guess why she acted

in a disrespectful way?• What will be the consequences

of his actions?• How would the outcome be different

if she had shown respect?

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8: Count On Character

You’ve been told that you’re a complex

creature, but really, you can be broken

down into two parts: outside and inside.The “inside you” — thoughts, feelings, and beliefs —isn’t as plain for all to see. You never give your atti-tudes a bath, and nobody brushes emotions. Still,you’re showing a certain style, and that’s the otherpart of how the rest of the world sees you. The insidestyle reflects your character, and you can count oncharacter to form your reputation. Unlike your skincolor or height, your reputation is controlled by you.

Look at this list of character traits that, bun-dled together, form your reputation. Fill in thecircle beside the traits that are part of yourcharacter as you see yourself:

In the newspaper, find a picture of someonewho shares your good character traits. It couldbe a sports figure, political leader, or local fig-ure. Cut out the picture and be prepared toshare your “character mate” with the rest ofthe class.

“Every man has three

characters — that which

he exhibits, that which he

has, and that which he

thinks he has.”

— Alphonse Karr (1808–1890)

List a few words or phrases that describeyour outside appearance:

Your “outside” is plain to see: height, bodytype, skin color, and hair. You probably giveyour outside a lot of attention: You bathe it,clothe it, and brush it so you look OK. Youtry for a certain style — even if it’s no style atall — and that’s part of how the rest of theworld sees you.

●● Friendly

●● Good citizen

●● Thoughtful

●● Self-disciplined

●● Patient

●● Courteous

●● Honest

●● Responsible

●● Generous

●● Helpful

●● Loyal

●● Cooperative

●● Hard worker

●● Kind

●● Sharing

●● Courageous

●● Punctual

●● Respectful

●● Trustworthy

●● Fair

●● Caring

●● Reliable

Now think about your reputation. Do otherpeople see you the same way you see your-self? Look at the traits that you marked. If youbelieve that others recognize those traits inyou, underline the word. The words with theunderlines form your reputation.

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Count On Character: 9

Good character comes as a total package. You

might be the most honest person ever born, but

if you are mean, intolerant, and irresponsible,

your honesty is overshadowed by your flaws.

For this scavenger hunt, you will count on find-

ing examples of character strengths — or weak-

nesses — in the newspaper.

Divide the class into six groups, with each group

taking a character trait. For each item on the

list, find a story, photo, ad, or comic strip that is

related to the trait. Write down the page number

to share with the rest of the class. The first

group to finish its list wins — and helps other

groups finish their lists.

An act of kindnessshown by a business.

A news story about agenerous person.

Proof that your town, orstate, is friendly.

A comic strip characterwho demonstrates kind-ness.

A news story thatdescribes the conse-quences of dishonesty.

A person who madenews by being honest.

An ad that includes theword or a synonym for“honest.”

An item in the classi-fieds section you wouldbuy only if you trustedthe seller.

The most widelyrespected person pic-tured in the newspaper.

A news story explaininghow a lack of respectled to a bad incident.

A person who shows alack of self-respect.

A story or picture thatshows a person whorespects nature and theenvironment.

Photo of a responsible citizen in action.

News story about a per-son owning up to his orher mistakes.

Three movies that aresponsible adult wouldnot take an 8-year-oldto see.

A letter to an advicecolumnist or a newsstory that describes anirresponsible person.

A news story describinga person treated unfairlybecause of his race,gender, or nationality.

A photo of a personpeople rely on for mak-ing fair decisions.

A news story about abusiness accused ofunfair practices.

An example of a busi-ness trying to be fair toits customers.

A photo of — or a storyabout — a victim ofintolerance.

An opinion column or letter to the editorurging readers to bemore tolerant.

A news story thatincludes a law againstintolerance.

An ad targeted to peo-ple who are differentfrom you.

Kindness Honesty Respect Responsibility Fairness Tolerance

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10: Count On Character

“From my tribe I take nothing. I am

the maker of my own fortune.”

— Tecumseh (1768–1813)

Responsible comes from Latin words meaning “able to answer.”

Responsible people are able — and willing — to answer for their actions.

There are three ways to count on responsibility:

Take responsibility: Think for yourself.

Be responsible: Do the things you’re supposed to do.

(People are counting on you!)

Do the responsible thing: Own up to who you are and what you’ve done.

Can people count on you? Can you count on yourself? Take a closer look

at responsibility in the activities below.

In small groups, discuss the followingquestions and write down your answers:• What things does a responsible mem-

ber of a family do?• What things does a responsible

student do?• What things does a responsible

citizen do?

As a class, make a list of responsibleactions that you wrote in activity No. 1.Use a large sheet of paper for each cate-gory, and display all three lists in theclassroom during your discussion ofresponsibility.

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If possible, take home the newspaper in which you labeled peopleresponsible (R) or irresponsible (I). Explain the exercise to your par-ents, and ask if they agree with your judgment. Also ask themabout responsibility milestones in their lives:• What chores did they do when they were growing up?• What were their first jobs outside the home? Were they always

on time and dependable?• At what age do they think they became “responsible adults?”

Count On Character: 11

“Who’s responsible for this?” Too often, people tryto solve problems by blaming someone else.Look in the newspaper to find an example of adispute (a quarrel or argument), and in your smallgroup, discuss the following questions:• What went wrong?• Who is being blamed for the problem?• Was the blamer ever blamed

for causing the problem?• Will the blamer get in trouble if he accepts

responsibility?• Does blaming help solve the problem?

Go on a responsibility search. Look at people pic-tured in the newspaper and decide whether theyhave acted responsibly or irresponsibly. Forexample:A city official who is speaking in favor of safeneighborhoods is acting responsibly by being aconstructive leader. One who is pictured going tojail for theft has acted irresponsibly. Whenever you can judge that a person has actedresponsibly, mark a big “R” on his or her fore-head. If you believe someone has been irrespon-sible, mark a big “I” on his or her forehead. Feelfree to use crayons or colored markers. Discussyour thoughts.

The employment section of the classified ads listsjob openings. Some ads ask for “self-motivated”people who take responsibility for their work with-out being prodded. Look through the employ-ment ads and circle the jobs that rely most heavilyon being self-motivated. As a class, discuss thejobs you circled. Also talk about how self-motivat-ed students handle school work, home responsi-bilities, and extracurricular activities.

Looking at the three areas of responsibility in theintroduction on this page, think about how youcan become a more responsible person. For eacharea listed below, list two or three things you cando, starting today, to be considered a responsibleperson.

Take responsibility:

Be responsible:

Do the responsible thing:

1. Look at the class list of responsible actions and write downthe ones that describe you.

2. How many items did you include? How many were left out?3. Being responsible means doing your part. Rate your level of

responsibility by shading in the thermometer above.

TOTALLYRESPONSIBLE

TOTALLYIRRESPONSIBLE

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12: Count On Character

You might think there is plenty of fairness in the world, what with fair balls, fair

winds blowing, fair game, fair-weather friends, fair-haireds, and fair shares.

When it comes to good character, though, count on fairness of mind. Fair-minded

people play by the rules — even when they hit a foul ball. And fairness isn’t just for

baseball rules. It’s for all of life’s contests.

Exploring your sense of fairness can open the door to better character.

You can count on it.

• Make a list of at least four things in your life that youthink just aren’t fair. Your list might include your bed-time, the TV schedule, your favorite team’s losingstreak, or the weather.

• Get into small groups and discuss your lists. Did anyof you name the same thing?

• Talk about what it feels like when unfair things hap-pen to you. Think of one word or phrase that sumsup your feelings and share it with the class.

Sometimes, bad things happen to people who don’tdeserve it — people who didn’t do anything wrong. Itseems unfair, doesn’t it? While still in your group, gothrough the newspaper to find stories about unfair cir-cumstances in which innocent people suffered. Discussthese questions:• Who were the victims of unfairness?• What made the whole thing so unfair?• How did the victims respond?• How will the unfair event change them?

“Fairness is an across-the-board

requirement for all our interac-

tions with each other. Fairness

treats everybody the same.”

— Barbara Jordan (1936–1996)

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Count On Character: 13

We aren’t born fair-minded; we learn about fairnessand justice when we experience it for ourselves. Agood way to learn fairness is to use the reversibilitytest: “How would I want to be treated if I were that per-son?” Between now and the next time you talk in classabout character, see how often you can use thereversibility test to learn about fairness. Write down atleast four times you used the test and share eachexample with your class or in small groups.

In a news story, find an example of someone who wasespecially fair and an example of someone who wasespecially unfair. Using a different color for each, marktheir fairness factor on your thermometer and put theirinitials beside their marks. As a class, discuss whatmakes people basically fair or unfair. Are they born thatway? Taught? Do they learn it themselves?

When people rely on their sense of fairness to makethe right decisions, it’s important to fully understand theproblem first. As a class, find and read a story in thepaper about a dispute. On your own, pretend that youhave been asked to play judge and deliver a solutionthat is fair to all sides. Write down your solution andshare it with the class. Answer these questions in yourclass discussion:• Did you have all the information you needed to make

a fair decision?• Would both sides be happy with your decision, or

would one side — or both sides — walk away mad?• What’s the hardest part about being a fair judge?To bring this exercise to life, let three people in theclass role-play a dispute. One person takes the role ofjudge and gives the other two a chance to presentopposite sides of the argument.

Take this quick test to help you think about your personal fairness factor.Give each statement a number from one to 10 — one if the statement isnever “you”; 10 if it’s always true of you; and somewhere in the middle ifyou’re somewhere in the middle.

____________ I don’t let people copy my homework so they can getcredit for the work I did.

____________ I help people settle arguments by coming up with a solu-tion that’s fair to both sides.

____________ I am good at waiting my turn; I never cut line.

____________ I never take more than my fair share of goodies or attention.

____________ I never take advantage of a person because he or she isnot as smart or as strong as I am.

____________ Sometimes, I give away things to people who don’t haveas much as I do.

____________ I get upset when I see people getting good things theydon’t deserve.

____________ I could judge a contest and be completely fair, even if afriend were in the contest.

____________ I never judge a person or event until I’ve heard all sides ofthe story.

____________ I’m a person who always plays by the rules.

Add up your score, divide by 10 and mark the thermometer at left togauge your fairness factor.

Show your parents the newspaper stories with the fair and theunfair people. Discuss with them your thoughts about the fairnessfactor in people, and ask them how they decide what’s fair in a sit-uation. Also find out from your parents if fair always means “equal”when they make family decisions.

TOTALLYFAIR

TOTALLYUNFAIR

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14: Count On Character

Of all the character traits we study in this guide, tolerance is the most

misunderstood. To some people, tolerance is a solution to many of soci-

ety’s problems; to others, it is part of the problem.

Tolerance means to endure — or put up with — practices or beliefs

that are different from your own. Tolerance is all about keeping an

open — and understanding — mind and accepting difference, even

if you don’t agree with it.

Before you can count on tolerance as a character strength, make

sure you understand it by completing the exercises on this page.

“I have learned silence from the

talkative; tolerance from the intoler-

ant; and kindness from the unkind.”

— Kahil Gibran (1883–1931)

• Write down five ways you are different from many people. Don’t name physical traits; listpreferences, like “big Seahawks fan,” “favorite color is loden,” or “I love classical music.”

• Stay away from religious or political beliefs. These issues are important, but difficult forclassroom discussion. Save them for home.

• Get in small groups and share your responses. Keep your comments positive — no put-downs, please.

• Did any of you list the same five “differences?” Try breaking the tie by naming the tastiesttwo-scoop combination on an ice cream cone.

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Count On Character: 15

As a class, talk about the diversity each groupdiscovered. Can you agree that some amount oftolerance is always needed, because no twopeople are exactly alike? Speak honestly abouthow your group was able — or unable — tocalmly discuss differences about preferences insmall things, such as personal favorites. Can youimagine how conflict erupts when intolerant peo-ple argue about the big issues of life?

• Find a photo in the newspaper that you thinkshows a lot of diversity, then write down thedifferences between the people pictured.

• Present your photo to your small group andpoint out the differences.

• Discuss the tolerance portrayed in the photo:Are the people tolerating — accepting — theirdifferences, or does the photo show intoler-ance in action?

Tolerance should not be an all-or-none trait. A person with too much tolerance doesn’t maintainany personal standards: Everything is OK, even things that hurt others. The absence of toler-ance — where “different is bad” — leads to racism, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

How tolerant are you? Take a quick test by reading the following phrases that complete thestatement, “It’s OK with me if ... .”

Put a check mark at the end of the statements you can “tolerate.” If you agree with most of thestatements, you’re probably a tolerant person. If you have a hard time agreeing with most of thestatements, you might not be a very tolerant person.It’s OK with me if:

______a person of another race wants to be friends with me.

______a person eats food that I think is weird.

______people from other countries live in my country.

______a person of another race is in my class.

______the principal of my school is from another country.

______a person’s favorite color is different from mine.

______a person of another race lives next door to me.

______a person who dresses very differently wants to be my friend.

______my best friend wants to go out with a person of another race.

Lots to do at home tonight:• Show your parents your tolerance exam-

ples from activity No. 5 and share yourclassroom discussions about acceptingdifferences in others.

• Ask your folks how tolerant they thinkthey are. If they’re not sure, give themthe test you took in Self Test.

• Talk to your parents about how yourfamily learned about tolerance. Religion?Community? Other family members?

Tolerance is recognizing other people’s right toact or believe differently from you. Imagine thatyou are going to teach the value of tolerance.Find five items in the newspaper — news stories,photos, comics — you would use in your class asexamples of tolerance or intolerance. Cut themout and attach them to a sheet of paper. Be pre-pared to share your “lesson plan” with the rest ofthe class.

Find a news story or a letter to the editor inwhich someone stereotypes a group of peopleby assuming that each member is the same.Now, find someone who urges others to bemore open-minded and accepting.As a class, discuss the outcomes of toleranceand intolerance.

Tolerant people can put up with a lot before theyreach an internal boiling point. What is your boilingpoint? Based on how you rated yourself in the SelfTest, mark your tolerance level on the thermometerpictured on this page.

TOTALLYTOLERANT

TOTALLYINTOLERANT

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