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MENS SANA IN CORPORE SANO ( Physically knackered, mentally deficient )

UTTERLY MISMANAGED BY:

HASH TRASH Motto: Truth is optional

MISMANAGEMENT COMMITTEE PHONE

Grand Master Bob “BoBo” Thomas 09 253 852 387

Joint-Master Vacant

RA Vacant

Hash Web Nerd Kerry “Sticky Fingers” Kerry

Hash Cash Fenton “Don't Call Me Shirley” Holland 09 505 4880

Hash Moosic Bart “Boring Fucker” Robertson 09 250 224 127

Hash Horn Vacant

Hash Sniff Ohn Tin “Gigolo Joe” Oo 09 540 7598

Hash Flash Aung Kyaw “Dr. No” Myint 09 205 1198

Hash Piss Midgie “Raza Gaha Hasha” Ye Aung 09 503 6637

Hash Piss’ Wench Thida “Cat Walker” Tin Lwin-Jones 09 250 152 424

Hasherdabberer Midgie “Raza Gaha Hasha” Ye Aung 09 503 6637

Trail Master Vacant

“Strictly Distribution to Members Only”

MEMBERS PARTICIPATE ENTIRELY AT THEIR OWN MENTAL, PHYSICAL AND ANY OTHER RISK.

YH3 meets at 14:45 every Saturday at main entrance to Yangon University on University Avenue, near Hledan Junction, and leaves for the run site at 15:00 prompt.

HASH FEES: Expat: 5000 Kyat Expat Horrors (Under 13): 2500 Kyat Nationals: 4000 Kyat National Horrors (Under 13): 2000 Kyat

RECEDING HARELINE:

Date: 11 March ‘17 Run No. 1517

Circle BRB FRB Run

1517 11 Mar '17 Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Hash Jess L, Anna B and Hannah Z

1518 18 Mar '17 Hashy Nuptials Run Boring Fucker and Sleeps on the Knob

1519 25 Mar '17 Outstation Run Weedwanker and Gigolo Joe

1520 26 Mar '17 Outstation Hangover Run Volunteer

1521 1 Apr '17 April Fool's Run Le Pimp & AZB

1522 8 Apr '17 Happy Families Run Family Tracey

1523 15 Apr '17 Volunteer

1524 22 Apr '17 Volunteer

RUN NO. DATE WHAT IS IT ABOUT? HARE / CO-HARE:

YH3 HASH TRASH Run No. 1517 Date: 11

th March 2017 Page 2 of 8

All the lies fit to print. Members read at your own risk!!

ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON ON

Up to two Hares run for free

For each Hash, up to two Hares/Rabbits will be allowed to run/walk for free. This is meant

to encourage Hashers to volunteer to set Hashes and is recognition of the amount of work

involved.

Tales from the Trail

Hash Re-Run No. 1517 (The Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Run)

Hares: Jess Lee, Hannah Zitner Rabbit: Anna Brown

Venue: close to jetty, Myo Pat St., Seik Gyii Kha Naung To Township

Runners: 50

Weather: Bone dry and hot.

Time/Distance: 1 h 25 min to cover 10.2 km of mostly concrete roads with two Beer Stops

The three Hares decided that this was going to be a case of “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

So anyone who had been in the ’Goon for more than a few months may have had cause for a

few déjà vu moments because this run turned out to be almost a ReHash of Run 1486,

which was held on 13 Aug 2016 when the same girls (with some help from Sex Gone Too

Far) laid a trail in the same vicinity.

Since the venue was a small, elongated island in the middle of the Twantay Canal with a

longest dimension of 4.6 km from one tip to the other, the “same vicinity” didn’t allow for

much variation. However the girls were aware that their previous attempt at setting trail,

even with the assistance of Sex Gone Too Far, was somewhat one-dimensional and so this

time they were going to apply the lessons learned and come up with something a little

different. Well that was the plan. However, the secret to developing good plans is to have

good intelligence and that generally means putting in time to make reconnaissance trips. It

is a moot point whether or not the girls’ planning had involved any reconnaissance when

they mounted their bicycles on Saturday morning at 8:30 am to go and lay shreddie but it

appeared not.

To be fair, the island is shaped rather like an irregularly drawn letter “B“ laid on its side

and, with a maximum width of less than 1.4 km, running territory is not exactly in plentiful

supply. Even so, it did appear as though the Hares had an aversion to anything that was not

paved in concrete, which could well be explained by their mode of transport whilst laying

paper.

For some, the shenanigans started at the Meeting Point where a dearth of Hash transport

resulted in the Beer Truck being overloaded with passengers, several of whom alleviated

the suffering of the journey by repeatedly sampling the contents of the cool boxes. Upon

arrival at the Wardan Jetty, the well-oiled Hash logistical apparatus swung into action and

sampans were procured, cool boxes were decanted from the truck to said sampans and





they, together with the Hashers, were then transported on a pleasant voyage to the

distant island whilst being dive-bombed by hundreds of seagulls.

On the far side, everything was unloaded and the Hashers assembled not far from the

jetty, at the junction of the road that runs through the centre of the island and the one

that skirts the southern shore, Myo Pat St. Breaking from the tradition set on the

previous run, instead of commencing the run with a view of the canal by running along Myo

Pat St., the Harriettes pointed the Hash along the middle road, along which the Hashers

had returned at the end of the previous run. So guess which road featured on the In Trail

for this run? Maybe we should not get ahead of ourselves but what was last became first

and what was first was obviously destined to be last.

Iron Maiden, who appeared to have had a bit of a late night, set the early pace together

with the GM. After 500-m of running along a dead straight concrete road, crowded with

humanity, they followed paper around a right hand turn. After following a slightly smaller

concrete road for another 400-m or so, the pack found its first Check located at the

beginning of two ponds that straddled the road. The GM was hoping that this was not going

to set the scene for the remainder of the run – a kilometre between Checks connected by

long straight concrete roads, i.e. a Hash laid by bicycle! Time would tell.

The FRBs, like Johannes, On All Floors and Premature Ejaculation, seemed to favour

Checking to the left or right but the GM decided to press ahead. He thought he heard an

On Back call and so did as he was told but then saw the pack being directed in his direction

by Hannah. So it was time to return to Plan A – keep running in a straight line.

250-m later he came to a T-junction and here could not work out which way to go. Sadly he

opted to go left when others found paper to his right. The trail then looped back on itself

and seemed to be heading straight back to the road along which the pack had run along at

the start. However, there was a Check shortly before this point and it was Iron Maiden

who successfully worked out that the pack had to turn right and skirt a pond before

completing the loop and returning to the point where he had left the Out Trail about 11 or

12-min previously.

Luckily Iron Maiden has a reasonable sense of geography and he was not too phased by

having to reverse run part of the trail. If the truth be known, not many in the pack were

phased by this development – mainly on account of the fact that they had not realised that

they were running on the same paper as before but in reverse. Once back at the main road,

Iron Maiden turned right and the straight line running commenced once more.

About 500-m later, something remarkable happened – the FRBs stopped running in a

straight line and turned right. However, it seems that the Hares were toying with the pack

because after performing a perfunctory wee loop, the pack found itself back on the main

road and running in a straight line again. 150-m later there was another right turn and this

took the FRBs like On All Floors a short distance to a Check located near a wooden bridge

that spanned a small creek. The Check held up the FRBs long enough for the GM to catch

up because they seemed to favour looking for paper straight ahead, off road and alongside

the little creek. This seemed an odd choice from the GM’s point of view unless they





expected to be able to loop back to the start along the edge of the river. It seemed more

reasonable to turn left and cross the bridge, which is what he did just at the same time as

whoever was Checking in that direction shouted On On.

The approximate route of Run 1517 [Scale: 1:25,000 or 4 cm 1 km]

At this point the feelings of déjà vu were strong because the trail alongside the river bank

had featured in the previous run in reverse — as indeed had the whole run since the start

apart from the long, initial, closed loop to the north. Still, it was pleasant running — even if

the little footpaths were all concrete!

However the runners inevitably returned to the main road but at least this time the

purgatory was short-lived because the Beer Stop was located not too far along the road,

at Anna’s little local office. The straight line running, the lack of Checks and the heat had

taken their toll, however, and the pack was strung out over a vast distance thereby

necessitating a long Beer Stop. As it turned out, there were those like Jungle Gymn who

were so far back that they were abandoned and the restart commenced without them.

The next 600-m consisted of — you guessed it — running along the main road and reprising

more of Run 1486 until the pack reached a crossroad. Here the FRBs all turned right and

followed paper but the GM was a bit suspicious that the Hares might have laid a deliberate

False Trail and so he hung back. Of course he should have known better than to be

suspicious of three fair maidens and he eventually he had to admit to himself that the

FRBs were not turning back and so, leaving behind the somewhat familiar scenery from Run

1486, he eased himself back into running mode and prepared himself to witness new sights.

However there was a Check not too far along the road and here Iron Maiden took off





along a dirt road to the left towards some ponds. The GM thought that he might be onto

something and followed as far as the second blob of shreddie but after Iron Maiden had

wandered quite a long way further forward without finding more paper, he realised that it

would probably be wise to turn back. Of course, turning back is not in the Hashing

vocabulary of Iron Maiden and that was the last that anyone saw of him for quite some

time afterwards.

Those Checking to the right fared no better and, almost inevitably, the true trail was

discovered to lay inexorably onwards in a straight line. And so the pack pounded the

pavement for another 300-m or so, heading towards a new bridge that was built a few

years ago to connect the island to the mainland. However, at a fork in the road prior to the

bridge, the pack took the left hand option and then followed a small road, which twisted

and turned around several ponds and brought the pack briefly to the north-western shore

of the island. Here the Hash was able to enjoy new river views and the feelings of déjà vu

could be assigned to the collective mental dustbin.

From the river bank, the trail diverted south and cut off the western tip of the island and

once again followed a wide concrete road that eventually intersected the equally wide

concrete road, Myo Pat St., that runs along the length of the southern shore. There was a

Check at this junction but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that one had to

turn left and head back eastward although Premature Ejaculation, seemed to think that

he needed to mangle the Check mark in an effort to show the BRBs the way home.

There is not too much one can say about the next bit of the run. A straight 500-m brought

the pack to a road junction where they again joined the route of Run 1486 in reverse.

(That run had headed inland at this point.) Then, after a further 800-m of pounding





concrete, the FRBs rounded a gentle bend where they discovered a crematorium where the

Beer Master, Raza Gaha Hasha, was waiting patiently. After following shreddie for 7.9

km, and spending exactly an hour in the heat, the FRBs were in dire need of a cool drink

but this commodity was in short supply, i.e. it was absent! There was a near revolt as Raza

Gaha Hasha explained that his beer wallahs had waited a long time at Beer Stop 1 to serve

the Walkers and walking wounded Runners. They had then loaded the beer coolers on sai-

kaas but, instead of cutting across the island, decided for some reason to go all the way

back to the start and then come back out along the coast road.

After almost 10-min of waiting without any liquid refreshment, most of the pack had

regathered and it was decided to move on. However, just as they shuffled into action, the

first beer wallahs arrived and so such intemperate action was quickly abandoned and

thirsts were quickly quenched.

Finally the Runners regarded their loins and set off for home. There is not much one can

say about running 2.3 km along a concrete road without ~Checks. Apart from passing a fire

station with its gleaming new engines that can now get around the island in super quick

time thanks to all of the concrete that has been laid, there was not too much to report.

The Circle

After riding the sampans back to the Wardan Jetty and gathering the pack back together,

a Circle was formed

Hares, Jess Lee and Hannah Zitner, together with Rabbit, Anna Brown, were given a

well-deserved Down Down.

There were a few Virgins waiting to be deflowered, all of whom were American and all

of whom were female: Ella Wood was a traveller and claimed that Allie Smith had

made her cum; Whitney Wood also claimed that Allie had made her cum; Alexa

Magee was from Arizona and was here doing something for the Red Cross and

seemingly also had a special relationship with Allie; Theo was looking for a job and

unlike the others had cum by herself.

Visitors were dragged into the Circle and given honourable libations: Triple J and

Christopher Cum Semen, having completed their travels around the country, were

making a return visit after they first showed up two weeks ago; and Sir Songman was

making another of his infrequent visits to the Golden Land.

The Returnees were reminded that they should cum more often. Absent for the

longest time was Yellow Rose of Texas who last ran on 22 Jul 2006 and, after more

than 10 years, properly attired in a YH3 T-shirt (the 777 Run); honourable mentions

also went to Boomerang (13 Nov); Dirty Choirboy (7 Jan); Grabs Pussy and Titty

Titty Bling Bling (14 Jan); and Box of Cocklets (21 Jan).

Box of Cocklets was recalled to the Circle to celebrate his 50th Run, which occurred

when he last ran on 21 Jan but he eloped before that Circle and so his achievement

was not recognised at the time. He first ran on 15 Feb 2014.





It was the Day of Restoration of Independence of Lithuania from the Soviet Union

(in 1990) and so Paulius was dragged into the Circle to offer a Down Down to his

homeland. He sang the opening lines of his national anthem but he will never win the

European Song Contest.

It was Johnny Appleseed Day in the USA and so all the Americans (all 10 of them who

owned up) were brought into the Circle. Not one of them knew what the day was until

reminded by the GM.

Richard Tracey was brought into the Circle for starving his children. Julia did a

passing imitation of Oliver Twist when she spotted people eating fried chicken just

prior to the Circle and blamed her dad for not feeding her.

It was the last Hash of Box of Cocklets who has decided to run off to Australia in

search of new employment opportunities. It was also the last run of Sam McHugh,

who had completed somewhat fewer runs (8) and paid for even less, who was

returning to PNG.

And it was also time to celebrate the end of Raza Gaha Hasha’s working life. He has

taken early retirement from his day job so that he can devote himself to doing

charitable works – like providing food and drink to the starving and thirsty of the

YH3 every week.

The On On On

50th Street was nearby and England were playing Scotland in the Six Nations and so it

didn’t take much persuasion for the Hash to relocate a little further along the river. 50th

Street under new ownership was not so different from 50th Street under the old

ownership except that they have lost the giant “eye” mirror upstairs and, of course, there

is no Hash deal any more.

For the record, the Calcutta Cup was won by England. The “Auld Enemy” was put to the

sword as Jonathan Joseph spearheaded a rout. The final score was England 61 Scotland 21.

Future Regional Hash Events:

Nha Trang H3 4th Anniversary Nha Trang, Vietnam 24 to 26 Mar 2017 Thai Nash Hash Pattaya, Thailand 2 to 4 Jun 2017 EuroHash 2017 Vienna, Austria 7 to 9 Jul 2017 Sydney H3 50th Anniversary Sydney, Australia 19 to 25 Sep 2017 Mekong Indochina Hash XIX Vientiane, Laos 3 to 5 Nov 2017 Interhash 2018 Nadi, Fiji 25 to 27 May 2018

Hash mailing list If you would like to be placed on the Hash mailing list for occasional updates of Hash and various other social activities in Yangon, please send an e-mail to:

[email protected]





The 1517th Run in Pictures © Raza Gaha Hasha and Spicy

Are we nearly there yet?

Hares

Virgins

Beer delivery/escort service

Hares

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